Poll: How many STDs do you think Duke Nukem has?

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Blatherscythe

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Oct 14, 2009
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silver wolf009 said:
None. He is so awesome that his body creates antibodies made of pure awesome to fight off any and every virus. Hell, even Ebola barely affects him now. It's like a mild cold to him.
Pretty much this, no matter how much Gearbos fucked his game up he is still awesome enough.
 

Xman490

Doctorate in Danger
May 29, 2010
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Just one, from birth: immeasurable dickitis.
Duke's dick is so powerful that he has warped the world to serve it.
 

DirgeNovak

I'm anticipating DmC. Flame me.
Jul 23, 2008
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Every bug in Duke Nukem Forever is one of his STDs. His junk must be bright green with yellow pustules.
 

Link Kadeshi

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Oct 17, 2008
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He catches them all the time, however, he just hides behind cover till his Ego recharges, and drinks some beer. Duh.
 

dmase

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Mar 12, 2009
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His STD's are cured every time he hides behind a chest high wall.

edit: ninja'd
 
Jan 29, 2009
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He's actually insecure about his sexuality, so he goes on about having tons of sex with women when he's really struggling to figure out what he truly feels. As such he has zero STD's.
 

lacktheknack

Je suis joined jewels.
Jan 19, 2009
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All of them, he just couldn't possibly care less.

It fits the whole Duke theme from what I can tell.
 

CM156_v1legacy

Revelation 9:6
Mar 23, 2011
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He had some. But now, due to his regenerating health, he just has to hide behind cover and they go away.

So none
 

Saelune

Trump put kids in cages!
Legacy
Mar 8, 2011
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If the entire universe fails to take him down, no little virus will either. Besides, Duke probably is more healthy minded than you give credit for.
 

Callate

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Dec 5, 2008
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Well he can't have all of them. He can still urinate. Even if he has to push a button to do it.
 

The Lugz

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Apr 23, 2011
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Callate said:
Well he can't have all of them. He can still urinate. Even if he has to push a button to do it.
that's blatantly an army upgrade, that's probably why he enjoys peeing so much it's military grade so it's eeeepic
 

proctorninja2

a single man with a sword
Jun 5, 2010
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he defenity is too badass to have and STD also Duke only dose virgins because after him clearly nothing else is up to par
 

SillyNilly

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Sep 17, 2009
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The man can survive encounters with aliens of different biology.

He can definitely shrug off STDs like nobody's business.
Although I am fearful for the woman he's been with. I wonder how they manage to survive the encounter?
 

funguy2121

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Oct 20, 2009
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TheFloBros said:
So I was thinking to myself that the King has sex WITH tons of women, but does he use protection? Does Duke like "dirty" girls? What do you guys think?
I just want to reiterate that your avatar is pretending to play the sax along with a sample in a Eurotrash techno-lite song.

Also, the "King" is Bruce Campbell, the actor who said 80% of the stolen lines you repeat as simulacra from the Duke Nukem games. How many women have we seen Duke Nukem have sex with? Did you play the original when you were 9?

Duke likes whores because he's a caricature used to sell idealized sexism and violence to consumers like you whom the developers don't think have the intelligence to know any better. So yeah, he likes "dirty girls." Or you can simply play the game and see for yourself.

The answer to the poll is "African Polyps."