Poll: How much older is too old?

[Kittyhawk]

Interesting thread. With regards to the news link, who knows why they got together. The casual eye will go on base things like looks, but I expect its something deeper than that. The chap might have made her a good offer too, for if he's financially stable and she survives his natural demise, she will gain everything he owns. Since he's a senator, he probably gets lots of financial funds. Maybe his wife was an orphan, or maybe she has daddy issues, we can speculate, but only they know their business, and kudos to that unless you want to ask them.

On the wider issue of dating/marriage age, I think its very easy to say that you'll do this from this to that age, but life doesn't work by such rules. So long as the person is legal, and while many of us will impose true/false standards, its very possible that by limiting options, you could miss that person that might make your life special. That special person could easily be of different colour to you too, so don't discount those options either. If anything, the possible change in culture can be good for a person.

I'm single and in my 30's, but despite this fact, if I met a nice female younger than me, and we connected in a good fun way, I'd be a fool to dismiss her, because she doesn't tick all my perfect female boxes. In the U.K like Canada, 16 is legal, but I'd be more comfortable 18 and up. Early 20s adds more depth of character and life experience. I would be open to females older than me too, up to 45.

If you are a guy, and you have female friends/relatives, go and ask them what they see in older guys (when they are younger) and they'll enlighten you a bit. You'd be surprised the amount of females that look to date older guys when they are just in their late teens/ early 20s.

 

[RobfromtheGulag]

A rule i heard is to have half your age plus seven as your minimum age and it seems like a pretty safe rule.

Agreed. Some examples:
18=> 16-22
16=> 15-18
50=> 32-86

I think the strength of this rule is that the lower ages seem appropriate, and at later ages people have the capacity to choose, so if you want to date an 86 year old at 50, more power to you.

-Edit-
Loving 'the person and not the age' is shadey when referring to younger individuals. The age of consent is meant to set a level of maturity at which a person can make an informed choice. A number of youngsters out there want cars, firearms, relationships, but they aren't very familiar with the consequences.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/North_American_Man/Boy_Love_Association#Goals_and_positions

 

[Brutal Peanut]

As long as both in the party are consenting and willing adults, there isn't much to say. Though one being older than the other to the point of being able to be their parent will ALWAYS give me the willies.

I am 24, and my husband is 30. Six years older. So...*raspberry*.

 

[Whoracle]

I live by the /2+7 rule:

lower boundary: Half my age plus 7 years (ie: (28/2)+7=21, seems acceptable to me...), so by extension it'd be (28-7)*2=42 years. ALso acceptable, I think.

 

[LovelyStrife]

My personal rule of thumb isn't so much about their age, but the age of their children (if they have any). I will not date somebody who has children who are older than me. Period. That just makes it too weird for me. My current boyfriend is 20 years older than me and we get along great, so I know that relationships can work with a large age difference. Still, I find it strange when somebody is in a relationship and their children are older than their significant other. It is a situation that I refuse to put myself into.

 

[Fappy]

I wouldn't want to date some one more than a few years older than me, but I have no problem with other people marrying at varying ages. My uncle's fifteen years older than his ex-wife and they were married for 16 years. I think she was in her mid-late 20's when they got married.

 

[omega 616]

The only options are not "hot" and "ugly". As I said earlier, as long as you aren't repulsed by them, there is no reason they have to be a 10 to be attracted to them. One night stands might be almost completely hormone driving, but long term relationships aren't, nor do they have to start that way. Sure, if your only way to meet your partner is in a club, looks is all you have to go on, but a hell of a lot of long term relationships don't start in a bar. People become attached at work, school, hell even during online gaming. You can find your attachment to someone first, and the mind being the biggest sex organ, if you like someone, you will find yourself physically attracted to them as well, even if they weren't "your type" previously.

I don't know a single older person who uses the net for news, they watch the news on TV or read a paper ... that might be more the fact I live in the UK.

Could be. Or it could just be I have a modern circle of friends lol. My parents are both in their late 70s and its true they haven't gone digital.

"thus is wrong to assume that any genuine older-younger relationship is not possible." if I said anything like that I meant it in the same way people say "everybody drinks", well not everybody drinks alcohol but the minority is so small it's almost like they don't exist.

As for this last point I covered it in the previous 1, there are exceptions to things. I was saying the minority is so small that it might as well not exist.

Since you have no way to quantify that minority, its best you not apply it to a larger group and assume, as you did, that if she's younger and likes you she must be looking for $. For that matter, in my experience if she is looking to someone older for "the wrong" reasons it isn't money, its a father/authority figure they seek. I've usually dated younger women and that seemed to be more attractive to them than my bank account. Several even refused to let me pay for their dinners because they didn't want to look like they were using me or couldn't take care of themselves.

Why do you take everything I say literally? I know there isn't "your either ugly or hot" I was just making things more simple by making it as black and white as possible.

We are just going round in circles here so I am just going to stop, it's just a pure waste of time rehashing the same old crap ... I feel like Nintendo over here.

You can feel free to think you have "won" or have the last word but this will be my last post on this thread, good day sir.

 

[RobfromtheGulag]

See that last one demonstrates the silliness of the rule quite well. [..]

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Strawman. Pretty much everyone in this thread who has supported older/younger has said "as long as they are legal" or something to that effect.

You also seem to be arguing both sides since by putting forward that the age of consent means they are mature enough to make their own choices, that would mean that you should favor 12-21 year olds (depending on your home country) being mature enough to choose someone of any age they like.

The point I was kind of trying to make with the numbers was that at 50 it doesn't matter, you have the experience to choose. I don't think anyone's going to be up in arms if you decide to date a hundred year old at 50, you can choose. Vice versa if you want to date a 20 year old and he/she is fine with it, w/e floats your boat. The rule is more relevant when...

Age of Consent varies country to country, yes. I'm sure you can find some backwater place where 6 years old is legal for marriage. However in the developed nations which tend towards 16-18, I think this is a good starting point. 7-year rule coincides with this.

 

[game-lover]

Oh... wow!

Right so... I'm thinking not just currently at my age but in the future when I'm older.

And to me that lets me know I'm limited to 15 years older. No more than that.

Being 24 years old, I stop at 5. But I imagine ten years later, someone 10 years older than me won't seem to skeevy. Older still and 15 probably won't make me flinch.

That's where it stops.

 

[telocaster]

I'm 19 and my... "girlfriend"(I guess) is 42 and you know what? Best sex and longest running relationship of my life... so far.

I ave always wanted to hook up an older women.

OT: I have always preferred older women. Everyone has their preferences. If both parties of legal age and both give consent, it is not anyone's business except those involved

 

[The Funslinger]

I think it depends on their respective ages for example, 29 and 23 ain't so bad, but a 19 and 13 year old got serious problems...

I once went to great pains to explain this to someone. It took him about a year to realize I wasn't just being an ass, and then he pretended that disturbing excuse for a relationship had never happened.

The weirdo.

 

[Twilight_guy]

I dunno. Sop I'll refer you to a college professor's opinion:

 

[Acton Hank]

I'm 19 and my... "girlfriend"(I guess) is 42 and you know what? Best sex and longest running relationship of my life... so far.

I ave always wanted to hook up an older women.

OT: I have always preferred older women. Everyone has their preferences. If both parties of legal age and both give consent, it is not anyone's business except those involved

Older single women interested in late teens early twenties is sadly on short supply... I'd say I got pretty lucky.

 

[telocaster]

I'm 19 and my... "girlfriend"(I guess) is 42 and you know what? Best sex and longest running relationship of my life... so far.

I ave always wanted to hook up an older women.

OT: I have always preferred older women. Everyone has their preferences. If both parties of legal age and both give consent, it is not anyone's business except those involved

Older single women interested in late teens early twenties is sadly on short supply... I'd say I got pretty lucky.

so jealous

I just turned 21 in the states so I have access the bar scene now so it could happen...

 

[Acton Hank]

I'm 19 and my... "girlfriend"(I guess) is 42 and you know what? Best sex and longest running relationship of my life... so far.

I ave always wanted to hook up an older women.

OT: I have always preferred older women. Everyone has their preferences. If both parties of legal age and both give consent, it is not anyone's business except those involved

Older single women interested in late teens early twenties is sadly on short supply... I'd say I got pretty lucky.

so jealous

I just turned 21 in the states so I have access the bar scene now so it could happen...

I didn't meet her at the bar, I met her at the gym.

 

[theSHAH]

A lot of it depends on the ages involved. For example a 15 year old dating a 20 year old is usually seen as unacceptable. But a 25 year old with a 30 year old is more the norm.

 

[Relish in Chaos]

Personally, I'd prefer my partner to be around my age. I'd only be uncomfortable if she was, like, almost twice my age, because of the potential power dynamic and gap in lifetime experiences.

 

[mrdude2010]

It depends on the age of the people involved. I think the general rule is "half your age+7" is the acceptable lower limit, since once both of you are over 23ish you're both about as physically mature as you're going to be (that's around when your brain stops developing at least, your body is probably done before then- that's why it's weird when a 19 year old and a 25 year old are together, because the 19 year old is still mentally a child compared to the 25 year old).

Sorry but the bit about a 19 year old being mentally a child is complete horseshit. I've met 16 year old who make better decisions than many people in their mid-twenties.

Its everything to do with individuals, you don't date the average person, there's no such thing. Arbitrary dating rules don't apply to anyone with the sense to realise that.

I'm guessing "I've met 16 year olds..." is code for either "I am a 16 year old" or "I'm dating a 16 year old." Yes, obviously, individuals are different, and some 16 year olds are very mature for their age, but physiologically speaking, your brain isn't done growing until 23. Your personality isn't even in its final form yet. People change a lot between high school, college, and graduating college, (or high school and several years of employment, depending on socioeconomic factors), and pretending that someone who makes good decisions and has gone through all that is somehow equivalent to a 16 year old who makes good decisions is kind of silly.

 

[Zack Alklazaris]

After a certain age its really not looked down upon anymore, however maturity issues come to into play. You marry a guy thats in his 20s and your in your 50s don't complain when he wants a pizza party.

 

[Raven's Nest]

I'm guessing "I've met 16 year olds..." is code for either "I am a 16 year old" or "I'm dating a 16 year old." Yes, obviously, individuals are different, and some 16 year olds are very mature for their age, but physiologically speaking, your brain isn't done growing until 23. Your personality isn't even in its final form yet. People change a lot between high school, college, and graduating college, (or high school and several years of employment, depending on socioeconomic factors), and pretending that someone who makes good decisions and has gone through all that is somehow equivalent to a 16 year old who makes good decisions is kind of silly.

Actually I'm nearly 25 and went back to college a few years ago and was therfore surrounded by 16 - year olds....

I'm not suggesting all of them were mature but dismissing all of them as child's is just plain patronising and incorrect. Experiences shape personality and everybody ages and develops at different paces, especially girls. Its not silly at all. A