I went to the University of Utah and majored in Computer Science. Very good school, actually. I've been programming since I was 10 but there I learned a lot about software, computers, and how to do good engineering. So, I really grew as an engineer. I grew a little bit as a person as well, but not very much (not nearly enough). Between school projects/homework and my part-time job I didn't have any time for joining clubs or developing friendships (not that I knew how to do that back then anyway). If I could repeat the experience I would have taken fewer classes, got a loan, and socialized more. Engineering classes are tough and take a lot of time, so people in those majors don't have anything like what is portrayed in movies. (Sometimes I imagine that Communications, Humanities, Social Science types have it a lot easier so get to party more. I never was or met one of those though, so I don't honestly know.)
Even to this day I often feel really shy and awkward around people I don't know well, and I'm not good at talking to them. It's a key skill that I think is possible to learn in college, but it's not taught in any of the classes (unfortunately).
Regarding the stuff in your spoiler block: I didn't have them when I started school, but after a few years there I started having suicidal thoughts (they stopped after I graduated and moved away, thank goodness). What I did at the time though is go to the Counseling Center there and they set me up with a social worker I met with for an hour every month. I didn't tell any of my classmates about it, but talking to him about stuff was helpful for me. I suggest you do the same.
I'm not finished yet. Entering final year come September, but I intend to stay on and do a masters for a year or two after.
To answer your questions, I go to a UCG (University College Galway), in the beautiful west of Ireland. My degree began as a "General Science" degree but I've shoehorned myself into Applied Maths. It's the best subject in the whole wide world, in my opinion.
As for my experience, I'll spoiler out the biographical parts (Lord knows my life isn't that interesting) but I'll leave a bit of advice after it - things I would tell myself if I could go back in time. Hopefully you can find them relevant too.
My first year was probobly my least eventful. Moving to a city (kind of) was a bit of a culture shock for me. College itself felt a lot different from school too, and the workload was much heavier than I expected. Knowing how to manage my time was possibly the toughest (and most necessary) skill I've had to learn so far. But the main obstacle for me was that I went in knowing nobody - none of my friends attended college until much later. I'm not particularly shy or anything, but I felt way out of my element. My biggest regret about college was not being to handle it all better - which is actually a GOOD thing, considering. I joined a few clubs and societies but only ended up sticking with one really. Not that that's a bad thing, I met my best friends that way.
By the second semester I was a bit more acclimatized and smarter. The only problem was that I broke up with my girlfriend around this time and for about two months I was bouncing between faux - alpha macho-ism and bitter self pity. I should've handled that better too, in hindsight. My grades took a bit of a slip, but I was still managing ok education wise. Surprisingly, I crippled my social life a bit. I said things I regret and lost a few friends - and I don't even have that much to remember it by. And as well as that, I missed out on a first degree honours mark. I was off by one percent. Pisses me off to this day.
But life since then has actually been pretty good. I've had some rough times of course, but since starting second year I've really found myself. The workload never ends but I've learned to handle and I'm doing pretty well for myself for the moment. I'd go into more detail but there's no point really, I'd be here forever otherwise.
Crappy platitudes: You might not adapt at first, and you might hate yourself for it. But the fact is, you're still a teenager and you're gonna do stupid things. You'll be forced into situations you're not wise (or equipped) enough to deal with. But never second guess yourself, or be afraid of doing something stupid. It's the only way you'll ever learn to respect yourself. It's not about reinventing, it's about learning and adapting, in more ways than one.
Your depression will draw you back, but that's a bit of baggage you have to come to terms with. I've met so many people in the last three years who've all told me the same thing - "I was a loser, I was lonely, I'm pathetic, no-one will ever love me, etc" - people without any confidence or self respect, but learned to overcome themselves and find their place in the world, or at least gotten a hint. The point I'm trying to make is that you're not alone, and you're not beyond help even if you're convinced otherwise. There are many people entering college right now that are just like you, and (as stupid as this sounds) just want to be your friend.
I'd also tell you to join clubs and societies and stuff but the uni is gonna force that stuff down your throat anyway. It is, without a doubt, the best way to meet people.
And try have fun.
EDIT: I forgot to address the parent thing. I wouldn't bother, but it actually sounds very similar to my parental situation.
First thing, avoid them as much as you possibly. I don't know if this is particularly healthy or sound advice but it's worked wonders for me. I mean, keep in contact obviously, but try to avoid physical interactions. This is especially easy if you're moving out (like I did) but it shouldn't be too hard regardless. Not after a while, anyway. Again though, maybe this isn't good advice. Distancing yourself and your parents sounds like the kind of thing that'll bite you in the ass later down the line. However, this is what I've chosen to do, and I'll keep this mindset until learn better.
Second thing, and I don't mean to be harsh, but stop blaming them, even if you have legit reasons to and even if up until now it is their fault. From now on, you have to assume your mistakes and current life situations are your own. But even more importantly, your future is your own, even if they don't agree (like mine). Whether you suss it all out or fuck up everything, YOU did it, not them. Being an adult comes with that freedom.
I went to the U of A (worry not about specifics there), took a BSc in engineering and specialized in civil water resources and project management. I went on to do an MEng in structural engineering.
As far as my experience goes:
It really helped me grow up in a hurry. I think that it's best to live in a dorm for the first couple years to get used to living with other people, taking care of your own stuff, keeping an eye on money and dealing with a series of situations that no sane person would subject themselves to willingly unless absolutely necessary. I got used to dealing with people [smart/dumb nice/prick], and it took care of some of my shyness if for no reason beyond other people were completely unavoidable.
It also felt really good to have a real purpose in life, something I was lacking up to that point. Once you go to uni, you get a degree lined up and you know that everything you do for the semester and summer year round for the next four years is working towards getting that degree and pulling a job out of it.
I also learned important painful lessons about life, in particular that hard work only gets you so far, some people are just smarter than you, connections and luck matter more than anyone ever wants to admit and never go ass to mouth.
My only real regret is that I didn't try more stuff while I had the benefit of dorm mates watching my back. I'm not saying drugs, freaky sex, public nudity and grilled cheese sandwich sculptures are the be all and end all. But, if you're going to try getting high on cough syrup, latex, being naked at a football game or Monterrey Jack mixed with cheddar then you should do it in a situation where you have people you trust, squares, junkies, perverts and artists alike, to keep an eye on you.
Woo, big up the Lancaster massive. My hometown, I hope you had/have fun there. 808(joke).
OT: I'm at West Lothian college, studying computing. I understand college here is completely different to college in the US so I can't give you any advice whatsoever. I do however think you will be able to spread your wings and do your own thing because you'll meet lots of new people with different interests and such.
Lonely. I've been studying at the University of Queensland for 7 years now. 4 for my bachelor's, 1 for my Masters (by coursework) and now I'm in year 2 of my medical degree. I haven't made a single friend at Uni. Acquaintances, yes, but not one friend. I still sit by myself most of the time, staring at books.
It's a bit sad. But at least I have time to concentrate on my work.
I appreciate everyone taking the time to post, and have read every one of them. I will take the advice to heart (there's a lot of good advice in here).
Especially yours, buggermenot. You've given me a lot to think about, and I appreciate you openness. Though unfortunately I have already signed for a meal plan, lol.
I appreciate your frankness. I have every intention to keep in contact, and I do care about my parents a lot.
I should apologize for giving the wrong impression. When I wrote the post, I was a little frustrated and did a poor job at expressing my feelings. I do not blame them (though I understand why people might think that after reading it ). I have always taken responsibility and know that the depression is my own fault. I have little to no reason to be depressed; but then again, depression is a disease, anyone is susceptible to it, even the happiest of people.
They are very supportive, I simply feel different than them, and feel frustrated when we do not see eye-to-eye.
I'm a Physicist studying aaaall the way up in sunny Scotland, St.Andrews. For me at least, heading to university was the single best decision I've ever made.
The first couple of days will be tough - it's easy to feel alienated, but don't panic and above all: Don't hide away in your room. You have about 2-3 weeks where you can approach anyone and introduce yourself without feeling awkward - don't waste a minute of it! The 3 cliché icebreakers you'll hear & use all the time will be:
"What's your name?"
"Where are you from?"
"What do you study?"
Also, do not be afraid to get drunk. I've come to respect alcohol as a brilliant social lubricant; as a late arrival, I had a rocky two nights where I hadn't really bonded with anyone and friendship groups had already started forming with the others. One lambrini bender and a stolen golf flag later I was suddenly part of the hall community.
Also, drag yourself to a society or two. Again, it's only going to be awkward for the first couple of meetings. Just tell yourself to get over that initial hill of anxiety and you won't regret it.
Good luck, and be excited. I wish I could live my freshman year again
I got to meet a lot of interesting people, took advantage of a lot that the college was offering me, got a kick a** internship, and generally learned a lot and grew as a person.
It was a lot of work and I would've like to have had a little more fun and time to enjoy myself, but I had a great time nonetheless and I wouldn't change anything about my experience.
I'm currently enrolled at Grove City College for my freshman year this august. I'm majoring in English/Secondary Education to be a high school english lit. teacher. Hopefully it all works out, because at this point money is my biggest concern.
It was... OK, I guess... but they really chucked you in the deep end. We did more advanced quantum mechanics than the physics undergrads in our first year... -_-
UG - Imperial College, London (Chemistry with Medicinal Chemistry)
PG - University of Sussex, Falmer (Chemical Biology)
And thank god I went to uni before the top-up fees... and just to show how old I am... I started before the low top-up fees kicked in, never mind the ma-hoo-ssive top-up fees were applied, a while ago now... -_-
Still, if anything, IC was hyperintensive, because the day was packed from morning to evening (lectures 9-12, labs 12-6) and a lot of the time, people got bollocked for having lunch in or near the labs. Fourth year was OK, because you could take the research project at your own pace, but we still only had about sixteen weeks for all practical work, which was a pain in my arse because I had a repeat a lot of it thanks to dodgy reactions and horrid purification.
If you ask me, though, if I'd want to start it all again, from 18, I'd definitely say yes... (and presumably work harder... ¬_¬ )
I've only completed one year so far, but I'm going to talk on that.
I still live at home (15 miles from the campus), so it's a considerable drive but not a bad one.
Not living on campus means that it is really hard to make new friends, because a lot of your first friends come from roommates and the people living around you.
Consider joining a frat or sorority. I know Greek life doesn't have the best rep, especially among the people on this site, but there are many frats out there. Not all of them are filled with douches and rapists. You should try to find one where you fit in. It's a great way to meet new people, and get into parties and mixers--which means you get a lot of one-on-one time with single sorority girls.
If you don't want to do that, try finding a club or two. It's important to get out and stay involved on campus.
If you become a shut in, you'll be miserable.
Also, registration is a *****. There's no way around that. Come with a game plan, and plenty of back up classes. You don't want to get stuck with a ton of classes you don't need or want.
Mark major tests and finals (including times, final schedules are normally different) on a calendar. Also, get a calendar. It'll help.
You'll be surprised by how much of the grade is just showing up. You do that and the homework, you may even make the Dean's List.
Look into study abroad too. There's plenty of opportunities--you don't have to go for a year. It's a chance to experience a culture from the inside. You'll never know what will happen either; one of my friends was with the group of students that just got kicked out of Egypt.
College is a great time to put yourself out there. I'm normally introverted, but I'm really making attempts and it's really paying off. There were times my first semester when I got really depressed, but that was because I just kept going between my home or the library and class.
-I'm at a quiet, little CSU in northern California, don't worry about specifics.
-I'm major in Economics; I'm thinking about picking up a Stats and Computer Science minor. My college career is slowly becoming specialized in classes most people failed in High School.
-I'd try a bit harder in class my first semester. I got straight B+'s which is nice but it's so close to A's. I'd also be more involved on campus.
EDIT: Never, NEVER buy books from the book store on campus. if you can help it. Also, don't buy books before the first day of class--most professors won't expect you to have them for the first week. Try to find a local bookstore that has textbooks, you'll get better deals. There's a bookstore right across the street from my campus, that guarantees to undercut the campus bookstore (there's actually a long story about a feud between the two).
To make yourself more productive, find one spot (probably best in the library) to do most of your studying. Don't do anything else there. It's make your brain associate that spot with homework time and will help you stay focused.
If you ever find yourself hitting a slow patch in a conversation at a party, I'll let you use my line. "I don't think I'm drunk enough, let's go to the kitchen." If she says she doesn't want to drink, just say "It's alright, I'll do the drinking for the both of us." It works and you're not forcing anyone to drink. You can change it up some if you don't want to get drunk or whatever.
Not fantastic to be honest. I went through a few personal issues which put me into a pretty deep depression so I missed a lot of lectures and did poorly in my coursework. I'm waiting to see if they will let me retake the year, and I've started looking at other options. Liverpool isn't really my kinda city either and whilst I got on fairly well with my flatmates, we weren't especially close, so if I'm not allowed to return it's not the end of the world.
I studied Building Surveying at Liverpool John Moores university, it wasn't bad, but my course was full of douchebags and I had nothing in common with them. The university was utterly useless and disorganized too.
If I could do things differently, well, I'd probably have studied somewhere else- it's hard to know how the social side of things will play out and I could have gone to UWE which is fairly close to home so I could fall back on my friends if I needed to. I guess my other problems would likely have happened anyway, but it might have been easier to take closer to home.
My advice would be to always ask for help if you don't know what to do, in any issue. If you don't know what to do about coursework, go to your lecturer at the soonest opportunity. If you're in a bad way, get your arse down to the university's counselling department. Don't leave things until it's critical.
Ill elaborate on my previous comment. I went straight to work from school and like you said about your parents go to work, come home, get drunk, watch TV and repeat. Thats what life is like when you work full time (for me anyway). After a day of work all you want to do is relax in front of the TV and have a few beers.
College/uni is your opportunity to have a bit of fun. Fun that i ultimately missed out on. I honestly believe if you go to uni you will meet loads of people even the type of people you might not necessarily hang around with at school. Ive found that since going to work (and as far as im aware from what my uni friends tell me. uni is the same) everyone gets along with everyone else youll get the gym guys, youll get the computer geeks, the stoners, the clubbers etc and they will form the weirdest groups of people. You might have never of thought to go to the gym before until you met someone at uni. You might not really be into clubbing until of a group of the guys you live with invite you out one night and it turns out you really enjoy it.
All i can say is enjoy it before you enter the monotony of work. Make the most of it and socialise with EVERYONE you never know what someone else can get you interested in and what you can get them interested in too. Just remember people like me havent have this privelage and kind of regret missing out on such a good opertunity both to learn so much (ultimately leading to a good job) and if not more importantly a time to meet new people and experience new things (provided youre willing to go outside your comfort zone)
I suppose after working year after year, getting drunk and watching movies after work can be very relaxing. I just don't don't see the appeal unless I am extremely tired (I've never been big into TV, and I've been around so many drunk adults that I get disgusted by people who get completely shitfaced... not that my parents get drunk all the time, only late at night on weekends... and then I have to drive them and their drunk friends home... after I've worked Mon-Sat and have earned ~45 hours a week.... >.> but I am rambling).
I've been told I'm very easy to get along with, and I seem to be able to make small talk with pretty much anybody. I just don't prefer to waste my words on immature talk unless it is with some close friends, hence why I get along better with older people rather than the immature kids that you often find in high school (most of whom will be weeded out and won't pass the college entrance forms, thank goodness). I intend to take up new hobbies and join a club or two, so I'm reasonably confident that I can make friends. I just fear relapsing at an inconvenient time.
I've only done my first year at Uni but I will provide as much information as I can.
-What college/university did you attend/are currently enroll?
Plymouth University, England.
-What did you major in/what are thinking of majoring in?
"Majors" don't exists here, we just do something. That happens to be Computer Science with a placement year.
-Related to the poll and initial question, how would the rate the experience? Was it a chance to grow as a person or was it all hyped up BS?
Oh gosh yes, I moved out which I think was the biggest thing and having that independence is amazing. Not only did I grow up I also became more open minded and now know how to have a good time where as before I left I was bit of a party pooper. I feel so much different then how I was when I left.
-If you could do anything different, what would it be?
A tricky one, probably study more so I get a better mark, I mean I got a 2:1 in my first year but I knew I could have gotten a 1st is I just studied more in my weak module.
-Any advice for a soon to be freshman?
Hmm.. for the start of the year I suggest putting money back for drinking, a lot is going to happen. Although I promise you it'll die down a bit during the run up to Christmas as some people have exams around then, it then picks up again after Christmas to die down again as exams creep up before the summer.
Also, if you're thinking of staying with parents DON'T, try your damndest to go to a student house or dorm. It's so much better.
Lastly, watch every penny. I don't mean no treats, but I also don't mean blow it all on Alcohol. You need to balance out your spending.
I suppose after working year after year, getting drunk and watching movies after work can be very relaxing. I just don't don't see the appeal unless I am extremely tired (I've never been big into TV, and I've been around so many drunk adults that I get disgusted by people who get completely shitfaced... not that my parents get drunk all the time, only late at night on weekends... and then I have to drive them and their drunk friends home... after I've worked Mon-Sat and have earned ~45 hours a week.... >.> but I am rambling).
I've been told I'm very easy to get along with, and I seem to be able to make small talk with pretty much anybody. I just don't prefer to waste my words on immature talk unless it is with some close friends, hence why I get along better with older people rather than the immature kids that you often find in high school (most of whom will be weeded out and won't pass the college entrance forms, thank goodness). I intend to take up new hobbies and join a club or two, so I'm reasonably confident that I can make friends. I just fear relapsing at an inconvenient time.
Just enjoy it thats all i can say and remember its a fantastic opertunity that not everyone gets or chooses (i couldve went but i just happened to get an apprenticeship in the job i wanted instead). Remember that the social aspect is almost as important as your studies
You mentioned the immature kids, youll still get a few but youll find that now your in an adult environment there are no longer any different cliques or social stereotypes and everyone hates the immature little pricks. People just seem to get along regardless of your interests or dress sense. At school you really needed to be part of a group. At work or uni just be yourself and chances are most people will accept you regardless of what group (or lack there of) you were in at school
Average. Right after enrolling i got scouted to anime manga appreciation club because i was watching anime on my laptop during breaks between lectures, and basically rolled with group of 3 friends till graduation.
Not much else happened during my time there, i was more of a observer of a wild life in college.
Some girl got pregnant got an abortion, that was pretty fun to see reactions to rumors and speculations as well reaction from professors.
Some guys car got stolen right from college's parking lot, he never saw it again.
There was team of guys that always flunk few exams and had to retake, same guys for 5 years.
Some pares got married, dunno what happened after.
About 3 people in my study group of 30 left college on 1st year.
Developed taste for trashy mess hall food, still miss dat macaroni and meatloaf with mystery sauce.
Got addicted (by a friend) to Lineage 2 MMO after failing few exams started playing less but still quite a lot, my grades suffered but it didn't really matter at the end.
All i got from collage is useless diploma, 2 close friends and taste for MMORPGs.
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