Poll: I have an idea..

[Fniff]

I am writing a story about Humanity going completely batshit insane with no exceptions. Should I continue it? Here is an extract from the first page.


"Don't move you goddamn inbreed!" Miss Allby pointed the shotgun at the youth.

"I'm just looking for some food! Please! Don't kill me!" He put his hands up in defense.

Miss Allby pulled the trigger and the youth's head exploded. She cocked the SPAS 12 and walked over to the youth.

"Let's see now...Cigarettes,sigh,kids these days,smoking!" She noted as she checked the pockets of the dead child.

A week ago something happened. Something bad. Some sort of signal messed with people's heads,causing them to go insane. No one really was immune,just affected on different levels. Miss Allby was somewhere in the mid regions. The signal was picked up by all humans and some types of monkey.

The Suburbs and The Cites were hit hardest. No cars were heard driving around,no explosions,just sometimes a gunshot or a caw of a crow.

And all that in a week,imagine that.

 

[DigitalSushi]

I'm having difficulty in having empathy towards any character, but by all means carry on, i might grow to enjoy it.

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

Looks like an entertaining read. Post a larger extract on another site (your blog/journal), and let us here now. That'd give us a better impression of what you're hinting at.

 

[TheNamlessGuy]

DELETED

 

[Chicago Ted]

Don't specify on the gun. I feel that whenever I read a story someone's made where they specify the gun's name to break my concentration. I really don't know why, but it makes me think more of a video game then a book.

It might just be me though.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

It sounds like an interesting idea, please feel free to continue it. You're the main person to benefit from it if you do continue, anyhow.
we get to enjoy an interesting story.

 

[Fniff]

Looks like an entertaining read. Post a larger extract on another site (your blog/journal), and let us here now. That'd give us a better impression of what you're hinting at.

Only problem. I don't have one. I never really bothered with stuff. As Yahtzee says,a Blog sounds like a creature at the bottom of a lake that communicates in farts.

 

[dmase]

Umm maybe someone can give me what else this sounds like but its kinda like a cross between m. night shamalan's the happeing and.... I wanna sy 28 days later but thats not right i'm thinking of something else. I also think the twligt zone did osmething similar and the only people it didn't affect were kids. Your avatar also made me think of fallout with the story.

Go for it i mean the way they describe ever new form of media they relate it to some previous form of media. These previos stated titles could give you new inspiration too.

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

Looks like an entertaining read. Post a larger extract on another site (your blog/journal), and let us here now. That'd give us a better impression of what you're hinting at.

Only problem. I don't have one. I never really bothered with stuff. As Yahtzee says,a Blog sounds like a creature at the bottom of a lake that communicates in farts.

Try and put it on some other kind of site then. You've got me hooked now =P

 

[Fniff]

Looks like an entertaining read. Post a larger extract on another site (your blog/journal), and let us here now. That'd give us a better impression of what you're hinting at.

Only problem. I don't have one. I never really bothered with stuff. As Yahtzee says,a Blog sounds like a creature at the bottom of a lake that communicates in farts.

Try and put it on some other kind of site then. You've got me hooked now =P

I could make a blog...Though I would never EVER call it a blog.

How exactly do you make a blog? Is it on some site,or something? I never really checked.

 

[Murlin]

Y'know this might become something good, famous even, novels like those are really popular with literature teachers, so maybe with critics to.

 

[tmujir955]

Sounds good. Be sure to include the return of the dead child.

 

[Urgh76]

you have an idea, i have a life

you have some potential that i don't like, i dont like it

 

[Fniff]

Sounds good. Be sure to include the return of the dead child.

Uhh...

How would that work?

 

[SomethingUnrelated]

Looks like an entertaining read. Post a larger extract on another site (your blog/journal), and let us here now. That'd give us a better impression of what you're hinting at.

Only problem. I don't have one. I never really bothered with stuff. As Yahtzee says,a Blog sounds like a creature at the bottom of a lake that communicates in farts.

Try and put it on some other kind of site then. You've got me hooked now =P

I could make a blog...Though I would never EVER call it a blog.

How exactly do you make a blog? Is it on some site,or something? I never really checked.

Put "Blogspot" or "Blogger" (the names can only be discouraging you =P) into Google. They're pretty good, and I use them myself. Let me know if you manage to set it up!

 

[brodie21]

too little info to make an actual comment on whether or not its a good idea

 

[Eternal_24]

Sounds interesting, go for it.

 

[Jumping_Over_Fences]

Pleading for your life really doesn't seem insane to me. Shooting a kid maybe, but nothing really screams insane about the use of a gun. She should kill with a more personal touch, without asking any questions. I am just not getting a true insane vibe from any of this.

Don't specify on the gun. I feel that whenever I read a story someone's made where they specify the gun's name to break my concentration. I really don't know why, but it makes me think more of a video game then a book.

It might just be me though.

It is definitely not just you, I feel the same way. I know nothing about guns (most people don't) so saying it is a SPAS 12 means nothing. Describe it, don't just say what it is and honestly most people will identify with shotgun more than SPAS 12

 

[Torque669]

I'm having difficulty in having empathy towards any character, but by all means carry on, i might grow to enjoy it.

This. No offence but I cant connect with a character who shoots kids for, from what I read, No reason.

What you could also do is put different parts of the stories from different character viewpoints like the Demonata series from Darren Shan, where theres 3 main characters but in different books you read through the viewpoint of one of the characters. Makes it much funner and interesting in my opinion.

However, It sounds very good, could be a interesting read. Try give Miss Alby a first name too.

 

[tmujir955]

Sounds good. Be sure to include the return of the dead child.

Uhh...

How would that work?

Simple. He returns with half of his face blown off, saying, "Give me... give me my cigarettes..."