Poll: Internet Dating: Still Uncool?

[kintaris]

I was just wondering what this community thought of internet dating. I mean actually signing up to a dating website, posting a profile and messaging other users, rather than just bumping into someone random on Facebook or Myspace.

I've been using Plentyoffish.com (which is free of charge, by the way) for a few years now, and I have had 2 relationships and several dates out of it, and I am glad for all of those. So far I haven't had a terrible experience, but I have had several frickin' awesome ones and made several close friends because of it.

I don't use internet dating exclusively, as I personally believe its important to use it as an supplement to actually going outside and meeting people rather than letting it become the norm. I wouldn't describe myself as shy or unsociable either - I just happen to meet a lot of people online that I like as well as offline, and I enjoy both equally.

I personally feel that its not only a good way to meet if you're pretty nervous, but its also a good opportunity to really sit down and think about your personal strengths and weaknesses, and also what you want. There is a blank screen waiting for you to describe who you are and what you are looking for, and for me the process of writing that out and seeing how others describe themselves is a good way to rediscover what makes you tick and what you really admire in others, which can then make you more sure of yourself when meeting people in the real world.

I know this is probably a topic that has come up before but I was wondering what today's position on internet dating is, particularly in a community that is already online. So - do you use them? Why? What sites do you use, and which do you avoid? What are your experiences?

And if you don't, why not?

 

[quantum mechanic]

I don't because I'm old fashioned, I guess. I find interacting in meatspace infinitely preferable to interacting online, and there are too many creepy people out there for me to put much personal info on the interent.

 

[Cheery Lunatic]

Dude, waaaay too many creepers out there. 16 year old potential boyfriend could easily be a bald, overweight 55 year old pedobear.

Color me paranoid, but it's the reason why I don't keep a pikchaw of me up on mah profile.

Also, I just find a digital relationship can't make up a physical one. Or something like that.

 

[Colour Scientist]

Nope, never will. There's just something unsettlling about it.
Even if everybodies information was genuine I still think I'd stay away from it.

 

[Ironic Pirate]

Well, something like 20% of marriages come from them...

And anyway, where I live I'd kind of have to use one past high school.

 

[Outright Villainy]

Nah, not for me. I kinda prefer more spontaneous things anyway, or just getting to know people in person and all that jazz. Or I'm just old fashioned, whatever. *Shrugs*

 

[zhoominator]

I may try it at some point. Don't ever go to free ones though (plentyoffish for example), that is where the wasters and biggest liars lurk. I wouldn't use it as my only means however, I think there needs to be a balance.

I don't see where the stigma is. People say it's for losers and the desperate (the people at my school did anyway), but I don't see much difference between hitting on some girl you don't know in a pub and arranging to meet a girl you don't know over the internet so you can hit on them in the pub (or wherever). Either way, you're hitting on a stranger who you can never be entirely sure of their gender. At least you won't end up trying to get the number of someone more interested in the ladies (talking from experience there...).

Plus, internet dating doesn't always mean dating sites. One of my friends got together with another of my friends through facebook. He didn't know her, but he knew me and I knew her so I told him to add her and chat. So they did.

To be perfectly honest, I find it to be rather pathetic.

I'm curious, why is that? Many people who I've spoken to have said the same thing and I'm just not sure why. I dunno, to me it just seems like fun, meeting new people and such.

 

[Sleekgiant]

The more I think about it, the sadder it gets.

 

[Danzaivar]

I have no problem with it. Two friends of mine met their Fiancés on WoW, one friend met his wife on DAOC. A site dedicated to finding people doesn't seem any further 'out there'.

If I was single for a length of time then I'd certainly consider it I suppose.

 

[imnot]

Dude, waaaay too many creepers out there. 16 year old potential boyfriend could easily be a bald, overweight 55 year old pedobear.

Color me paranoid, but it's the reason why I don't keep a pikchaw of me up on mah profile.

Also, I just find a digital relationship can't make up a physical one. Or something like that.

I hear you want me to color you.
sorry couldnt resist!

OT:never have and proberly never will.

 

[Erana]

If someone is able to find a genuinely good relationship, why should anyone question how it came to be?
Still, I think its as "uncool" as gaming. Anything to do with computers, other than facebook or looking at cute pictures of kittens still has a "Lowly geek" social stigma.

 

[Levitas1234]

i don't believe in putting my views in the hands of social stigma so i don't really care if anyone meets up online. If you enjoy the company of someone you have met online, why even question how others view it?

 

[Mr. Elemenopee]

Well I don't see the problem with it. I don't think I'd try it, but you'll meet many interesting people on the internet. A dating website is just another way to do it.

But I do agree with the part about putting a lot of your info on the site. I don't know how they work personally, but I rather give info to a person one on one rather than post it on boards. Well some info anyways.

 

[Furious Styles]

If I got old and lonely enough, maybe, but I'm kinda hoping I can land a wife/partner on my own.

 

[FreelancerADP]

ITT: Younger people who haven't actually used online dating services.

To be clear, online dating is not dating online.

Being in a professional career (commercial real estate investment), my sources of potential dates are: The bars, Work, and random special events.

Work would be fine if I ever dealt with women close to my age. I'm not in my 30s or 40s yet. :|

Bars are... Bars.

And random special events don't occur that often. I see shows and all, but picking up a girl at a show is only slightly better than a bar, and still a bit shallow as a source for relationship material girls.

Of course, I've forgetting divine providence as mentioned by a number of posters here (randomness, serendipity, etc), but I don't put much stock in it.

Then again, online dating is pretty rough.

Oh well.

Still have the bars.

 

[Booze Zombie]

Sure, it can work... but you can't see, hear or really react to the chemicals they give off in day-to-day interaction, so you're always taking a gamble that you're going to find someone who's fine "on paper" but you hate in person.

 

[NiceGurl_14]

I don't really see a problem with it since more people are hooking up this way but like Booze Zombie said, your taking a gamble on who your really meeting. It can be a great resource but don't let it be the only way that you look for people.

 

[standokan]

I don't do it and i'm not planning on doing so any time soon but i wouldn't have any problems with it or think bad about people who do so.

 

[child of lileth]

I have in the past, but can't vote because there's no option for doing it before, and still being open minded to it.

I prefer other options, but I'm not completely opposed to it.

 

[Haunted Serenity]

Never have but I would try it if I wasn't already with someone. Sorta along the lines of curioustity and I don't like going to pick people up at bars.