Poll: Internet Dating: Still Uncool?

[ZeroMachine]

I wouldn't be able to do it myself, but I think that as long as no one makes any huge promises to anyone else until they actually meet them in person, then hell, go for it.

 

[ChromeAlchemist]

I'm...apathetic on the situation. I've never tried it and doubt I will, but I've no problem with others who do it.

I think in general public opinion, people tend to look down on internet dating. Because people look down on it, those who actually feel like giving it a go probably shy away from it, least for that fated question: "How did you meet?"

To be perfectly honest, I find it to be rather pathetic. I've never associated the internet with successful romance; instead, I associate it with information, with computer-related activities and a place to discuss niche interests. I've never had a romantic relationship myself, but I'd be deeply ashamed if I were to stoop (as I would see it) to the level of using internet dating sites.

See? That's his opinion, but much of the western world shares it.

 

[Kortney]

I think its wrong. And I'd never do it.

However I can't truly say what I'd do if I was 45 and alone. Maybe I'd turn to the internet *shudder*.

 

[Jaranja]

So - do you use them?

No. I don't like the whole "Go here to find a woman"-Kind of thing.

Why? What sites do you use, and which do you avoid?

I do not use them. I'd avoid all of them.

What are your experiences?

My Mum found her partner on an internet dating site (don't ask which one) and they seem fairly happy together, after 2 years.

I met my girlfriend on this website right here, but I prefer that because I'm here because of my favourite hobby, gaming. You meet a girl here; you know she's got similar likes to you.

 

[Woodsey]

In the sense that you use a dating website? Yes.

Meeting people on Facebook? No.

 

[Wiiiiiiilliam]

It's kinda creepy

 

[Casual Shinji]

Well, something like 20% of marriages come from them...

Yeah, but how many of those marriages make it past the first year?

 

[Nickolai77]

I see myself in the future, forty years old and single, slightly over-weight and balding, sighing with resignation as i create an account on some dating website. That is if i can't convince myself that a bachelor life style is better than being married and having kids.

Yes, internet, as well as other forms of pre-arranged dating, does and always will have it's stigma. This is because there is the implication that the people using them are not "cool", good looking or social enough to meet people in ordinary situations and go out with them. Internet dating is a seen as an admission of personal weakness, and i don't see that changing.

 

[kintaris]

I have in the past, but can't vote because there's no option for doing it before, and still being open minded to it.

I prefer other options, but I'm not completely opposed to it.

Sorry, I knew I'd missed one permutation somewhere. This is my first thread so I'm still unsure how to edit polls or even if you can.

Its interesting to see that, on the whole, the online community is MORE averse to the idea than the people I have talked to about this in the real world. I've done a lot of asking around and basically everyone I talk to says they would give it a go for a laugh. Maybe its only this particular community that is averse to it, but then that to me seems even more strange as here we all are communicating and enjoying talking on a geeky game forum. I guess the leap to the idea of meeting in person, or adding the dating intention into the mix, is what freaks people out. I'd like to say again though that despite these sites being labelled 'dating' sites both my and my friends' experiences on them have led to several great platonic friendships, so its not all about love, just finding new people to hang out with.

To be clear, online dating is not dating online.

Thanks for saying that, I should have stated that a bit more clearly in the header.

The way I use dating websites is not to carry out an online romance, but as a way of introducing myself to someone with the upfront intent of meeting in person. I'm not a huge social drinker, and as I live in a tourist town with a notorious clubbing scene its pretty much impossible to meet anybody as in the winter its a ghost town, and in the summer everyone is purely interested in one drunken night out.

I should also state that I'm not keen on matchmaking sites, which are again different as they ask you for loads of information to analyse statistically and make you a match. I'm not looking for a computer to tell me who suits me. The sites I use are pretty much just like any open forum where people can talk to each other, but just with the overall sentiment being that everyone there is open to the idea of meeting up, of flirting and of considering people for dating.

I'd like to repeat too that this isn't a case of me being antisocial. I love meeting new people in the real world too and I do it all the time, and dates have come out of it. (This is making me sound like a serial dater though.) Online dating is just another, interesting alternative for me.

I should also say that I am a reasonably intelligent 22 year old rather than a doe-eyed teenager, and so I can usually spot the freaks and fakes and I'm mature enough to be able to laugh about it if I fail to spot them

Don't ever go to free ones though (plentyoffish for example), that is where the wasters and biggest liars lurk.

Interesting, as I've used paid sites twice and had no luck, and been barraged by fakes, bots and pervs whilst using them. Whilst on plentyoffish I've only encountered reasonable people. Perhaps I just live in an area that has a 100 mile radius of reasonable people?

 

[zhoominator]

Don't ever go to free ones though (plentyoffish for example), that is where the wasters and biggest liars lurk.

Interesting, as I've used paid sites twice and had no luck, and been barraged by fakes, bots and pervs whilst using them. Whilst on plentyoffish I've only encountered reasonable people. Perhaps I just live in an area that has a 100 mile radius of reasonable people?

Maybe it's just that only cavewomen live in the Highlands .

I've never used the site, I've just been told to steer clear by friends who've used it.

 

[Casual Shinji]

Well, something like 20% of marriages come from them...

Yeah, but how many of those marriages make it past the first year?

how many of ANY marriages make it past a year? marriage is dead.

Well, my mom and dad celebrated their 40th anniversary two weeks ago.

And they're no exception.

 

[BiscuitTrouser]

Im about 4 years too young in my oinion to even consider using one of these things (16 now). I think its definately not for teens, lurkers and pervs for the most part. Ive had one amazing relationship so far and im kinda pining for another. If i was older i would consider it.

 

[kintaris]

Sure, it can work... but you can't see, hear or really react to the chemicals they give off in day-to-day interaction, so you're always taking a gamble that you're going to find someone who's fine "on paper" but you hate in person.

This is a very fair point. And this has of course happened to me. Its also happened in the real world, where a girl that I've been interested in whilst flirting in say, a bookstore or at work, has turned out to be not my type once we actually go on a date. As long as you are sensible about your first meet-up, either by going somewhere you feel absolutely safe or taking a friend along with you, the worst that can happen is an embarrassing situation where it turns out you aren't right for each other. Which can happen on any date.

I do agree with the part about putting a lot of your info on the site. I don't know how they work personally, but I rather give info to a person one on one rather than post it on boards. Well some info anyways.

This argument has always confused me, so please enlighten me if I'm missing something. No site requires you to put any personal information on it that you dont want to. You dont have to put your name on it, many don't require a photo (although that's of course recommended). Email is private one-on-one between users. (I don't use chat rooms, its nonsensical.) You wouldnt give out any personal information at a bar either until you know you want to meet up.

A lot of people are saying 'what if they're a creepy 60 year old perv?' Well, my advice is, tell them you want to meet somewhere you feel safe, or say you're having drinks with friends and do they want to come hang out. (Almost all of my first-time meet ups have been in daytime in a town centre.) If its a creepy 60 year old perv, they're going to say 'no'. If its a reasonable sociable human being, they will say yes. Problem solved, or am I missing the point?

 

[kintaris]

Im about 4 years too young in my oinion to even consider using one of these things (16 now). I think its definately not for teens, lurkers and pervs for the most part. Ive had one amazing relationship so far and im kinda pining for another. If i was older i would consider it.

Completely agree, I didn't use one until I was 21 and had had a few relationships. I definitely wouldn't recommend it to people who are under 18 (most don't allow it, unless you fake your age of course and then, in my opinion, what the hell are you thinking) and I also wouldn't recommend it to anyone who hasn't had a relationship or at least been on a few dates before. I think to use such a site you have to know yourself and what you want a little to avoid being duped.

 

[Mr Montmorency]

I have to say that people's fears for meeting a pedophile or a disgusting old man are quite unfounded if you keep your profile standards high enough. It's easy to tell who is serious about the whole thing if you can have a good conversation with them.

It's basically a similar concept to detecting a pedophile on a social networking site, it's incredibly obvious, so obvious, it could qualify towards Social Darwinism in the long run for how stupid you have to be to not be able to detect one.

I'm probably forgetting that this would probably only apply if you have a higher intelligence that your average internet pedophile. But I guess that shouldn't be a problem here.

 

[Mr. Elemenopee]

Sure, it can work... but you can't see, hear or really react to the chemicals they give off in day-to-day interaction, so you're always taking a gamble that you're going to find someone who's fine "on paper" but you hate in person.

This is a very fair point. And this has of course happened to me. Its also happened in the real world, where a girl that I've been interested in whilst flirting in say, a bookstore or at work, has turned out to be not my type once we actually go on a date. As long as you are sensible about your first meet-up, either by going somewhere you feel absolutely safe or taking a friend along with you, the worst that can happen is an embarrassing situation where it turns out you aren't right for each other. Which can happen on any date.

I do agree with the part about putting a lot of your info on the site. I don't know how they work personally, but I rather give info to a person one on one rather than post it on boards. Well some info anyways.

This argument has always confused me, so please enlighten me if I'm missing something. No site requires you to put any personal information on it that you dont want to. You dont have to put your name on it, many don't require a photo (although that's of course recommended). Email is private one-on-one between users. (I don't use chat rooms, its nonsensical.) You wouldnt give out any personal information at a bar either until you know you want to meet up.

A lot of people are saying 'what if they're a creepy 60 year old perv?' Well, my advice is, tell them you want to meet somewhere you feel safe, or say you're having drinks with friends and do they want to come hang out. (Almost all of my first-time meet ups have been in daytime in a town centre.) If its a creepy 60 year old perv, they're going to say 'no'. If its a reasonable sociable human being, they will say yes. Problem solved, or am I missing the point?

You bring up a very valid point. I guess people are just paranoid. They always hear about sexual predators and are hard of trusting. But I think you hit the point spot on.

 

[Trebort]

I make a bit of money from online dating websites, so I say they are a bloody good thing and damn cool!

My standard site is making a profit and my new niche site is now up and running ^_^

 

[child of lileth]

I have in the past, but can't vote because there's no option for doing it before, and still being open minded to it.

I prefer other options, but I'm not completely opposed to it.

Sorry, I knew I'd missed one permutation somewhere. This is my first thread so I'm still unsure how to edit polls or even if you can.

Its interesting to see that, on the whole, the online community is MORE averse to the idea than the people I have talked to about this in the real world. I've done a lot of asking around and basically everyone I talk to says they would give it a go for a laugh. Maybe its only this particular community that is averse to it, but then that to me seems even more strange as here we all are communicating and enjoying talking on a geeky game forum. I guess the leap to the idea of meeting in person, or adding the dating intention into the mix, is what freaks people out. I'd like to say again though that despite these sites being labelled 'dating' sites both my and my friends' experiences on them have led to several great platonic friendships, so its not all about love, just finding new people to hang out with.

It's fine, I was just saying that's why I didn't vote or anything.

Yeah, like I said, I've meet people I've dated from meeting them online. It wasn't from dating sites or anything, but it's basically the same thing, and I just don't see why that would be a problem to some people. I mean, I just see those sites as a medium for people that might have problems being social enough to get out there and talk to someone. If talking in text first helps them relax and get to know someone, I think it's a good thing for helping those people. No reason they should miss out on the chance to be happy.

 

[SmilingKitsune]

There will probably always be people who look down on it, but if it works for you, who cares what others think?
I don't think I'd ever join a dating site or anything like that, but I actually met my girlfriend on this very site and we've been living together for over a year now.