Poll: Is an apology good enough?

[Viirin]

I agree with the majority this time.
Example: To save money, I had my cell phone on my mom's plan while I worked security. She didn't understand that the job's pay, hours, location, and benefits are based not just on the company I work for, but the client I would be servicing that day. So what she did was look up my boss's number on the cell phone bill, then call and harass the owner of the company's wife. I was fired shortly after because my boss said he didn't wanna deal with the hassle. When I was asked by my mom for money to help her with stuff at her own house, I admitted I didn't have an income anymore because I lost my job, which made her angry. I told her why it occurred, and she yelled "WELL I'M SORRY!" and ran into her bedroom and slammed the door and wouldn't come out for the rest of the day.

That was not an apology. I did not accept it.

I'm friends with clergy of various religions, and one of them was saying something I took offense to. He did not intend for me to feel that way and apologized. I knew that he meant what he said, and did not do it on purpose or out of nearly criminal levels of ignorance; it was just that the words he used and how I understood them didn't match.

I accepted his apology, and in turn stated that apology for that reason was not necessary, but I was grateful for him saying it none the less.

There's way less extreme cases of course but I figure polar opposites are useful for making a frame of reference.

 

[DrStupid87]

I had a kid a while ago and my TV is now dominated with kids programs. But every so often, one of the programmes has something worth a grain of salt or fifty.
Basically, a kid broke one of his friends toys and felt bad about it and said sorry. When he told his dad about it the dad said "Ah, you need to follow the three apologies"
Basically there's a three step thing to truly apologize for something.

1- Feel bad about it
2- Say sorry about it
3- Do something to fix it

My wife does this. Ages ago, she was late meeting me up on a freezing winter day (it turns out her bus was late). The first two were done and then she got me a hot pastie and cup of tea. Made me feel a lot better. Anyone who does this thing is ok in my book.

 

[Togs]

Saying sorry isnt always enough- its in essence away of them demonstrating that they know what they did wrong but sometimes reparations are necessary.

 

[Troublesome Lagomorph]

Depends on what they did. If there were no real damages, then yes, if there were damages then no. If you really want to apologize fix what you broke, damn it.
In other words: If he's really sorry, then he'd better buy you a new alarm and pay for the repairs.

 

[Fledge]

Please don't ut a useless option on your polls....look at the results - SO MANY WASTED VOTES!

 

[Nouw]

A bad apology is worse than no apology in my book. Accepting a genuine apology for a big mess-up and forgiving them for doing so is a sign of maturity. Having said that, a bad apology should be accepted but the person giving the apology should know that they're not forgiven.

In your case, your brother should pay for your damaged property.

1- Feel bad about it
2- Say sorry about it
3- Do something to fix it

These are the 3 Golden Rules of Apologizing. Cool discovery good sir!

 

[cbert]

helping you IS his apology, and the only acceptable one.

No more Kirby until guitar is fixed.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Sometimes an apology is enough (at least with most matters dealing with material objects) because no matter the excuses, value of broken , goods, or anger you might feel for having things that you worked for be ruined by someone who does not appreciate them as much as you do, what's done is done, broken is broken, and you're brother will be your brother (if anything, you should have anticipated how he is and kept your things 'well hidden'). Still for these types of manners, there's no need for bad blood (unless those objects had sentimental value, I can see how it might be difficult to simply forgive and forget).

On other matters that deal with more emotionally or humanly engaging, however, a simple sorry may not suffice. In this case, you should either deal with it at the moment and move on, or agree to open a dialogue in hopes that you can sort it out, or at the very least leave the situation in a civilized manner.

 

[FernandoV]

I accept apologies but my relationship with that person never recovers whether they know it or not.

 

[Rin Little]

I don't tend to forgive people easily when they make major fuck-ups. With me its you get one chance, if you screw it up, then fuck off and go to hell. With this, either he pays for it or helps you fix it or say screw him.

 

[Robert Ewing]

The only time I've ever been known to accept apologies is when I can't be bothered to carry on the conflict any further.

For example, if somebody accidentally hits into me while I'm walking, and says sorry. I'll accept that. Because I'm not the sort to take any of that seriously.

But if somebody broke some of my stuff, that I felt was important enough, I'd freaking insist some sort of reparation. Whatever it may be, compensation, manual labor, a term and condition. As soon as the wrong has been righted, then the conflict can be resolved.

Sorry is also a valid reason if the conflict has reached a stalemate.

 

[TonyVonTonyus]

Its all up to you but I think people who apologize should fix the situation they caused.

 

[badgersprite]

It depends on the circumstances, I guess. I usually would accept an apology, but that's just my personality, because I really don't like being angry, and I just like moving on and getting over things. I can't deal with conflict so I'm happy to let it go. Other people I know rarely take sorry for an answer, and they're often justified in feeling how they feel. Again, it's just a matter of their personality.

Ultimately, when it comes down to it, it's your situation, and it's your feelings that matter. You don't really need justification from people on the internet to back up the fact that you feel wronged. You know you're justified for reacting how you do, and that's enough.

 

[Dapsen]

Well... If I can kinda feel that the person is actually sorry, I will forgive instantly, cause Im kinda into the idea of "If you know it was wrong, then you probably wont do it again, and thats really all I want from you, so I will forgive you" philosophy.

 

[Vicarious Reality]

'' Sorry i killed all those people Mr. Policeman, i was just so angry! ''

 

[Chancie]

Yeah, "sorry" means nothing to me. Prove you feel bad about what you've done, don't just tell me. It's much easier to lie through words, so I don't trust apologies.