Poll: Is being shy bad?

[Jeremy Comans]

Many people tend to quickly categorize me as an introvert, especially when they compare me to one of my siblings who is an extrovert on steroids.

I am actually quite outgoing, but in larger crowds, or people I'm generally not familiar with, I tend to keep to myself until I can join in a conversation that I can contribute to instead of just nodding and agreeing without any discernible reason.

On a one-on-one basis, I'm actually quite chatty, and as I join larger groups, my shyness tends to slip away. So I typically attribute "shyness" to patience when in unfamiliar surroundings.

From your description, you are an introvert, not shy. Introverts, myself included, can be very outgoing in the right circumstances. A shy person would not be. See my comment two above yours.

 

[Jeremy Comans]

Being shy actively hurts me in the workplace. Other people are able to offer up better opinions, more quickly, and with less reservations. They're also able to better immediately process incoming information and immediately respond.

Most of the time, I just want to get back to my desk and coding, and just think things through on my own. When I do need feedback, it usually leaves me feeling like I'm interrupting them, since I either wasn't ready or wasn't able to speak up in a meeting.
It sucks.

And as for its affects on my social life... Well... I don't really have any.
I'm much too tired to expend even more energy "getting out there" in a crowded and judgemental world when I'm already exhausted just trying to get through a work day.

It's just kind of humbling to grow up as an "introverted computer nerd" and then work all day with other "introverted computer nerds" all of whom are vastly more well adjusted than I am.

Being shy AND an introvert can be unhealthy if you don't have a good outlet for social inclusion. I'm not shy by any means, but I'm incredibly introverted and happily settle into isolation if allowed. But my best friend is basically me but an extrovert, and having someone like around pulls me out of my shell. If you can find someone close who can give you measured doses of sociability, where they can lead and you just have to agree to take little steps to be included, could help you with the energy to have a healthier social life.

 

[Combustion Kevin]

Lets not conflate shyness with fear or anxiety out of hand, shyness could easily be the apprehension towards brash or brazen interactions with others.
The reason people find being shy cute but find introversion far less so is because a shy person does not turn away from people, their lack of initiative lends itself to a more "go with the flow" attitude that people often find quite agreeable and easier to get along with.

Or to put it in traditional dating terms, a shy girl often eagerly waits to be impressed, encouraging her suitor to comfortably fit into their traditional role of impressing her, if he IS the outgoing type it is a match made in heaven.

 

[runic knight]

Yes. In society and most situations it is a disadvantage, and as a result it usually helps foster other problems. Shyness can limit growth in careers, decrease relationship options, and largely lead to being a secondary character in your own story. Only few times I can see it as a benefit are no longer problems, as the majority of the western world doesn't have a situation where there are folks looking for the loudest nails to hammer down and the shy factor would help them be overlooked.

 

[gorfias]

I mean, how often do you hear someone say, "Aw gee, I wish I was more shy"?

Pretty much this.

I mean, it's basically a form of social anxiety. It's debilitating, so of course it's bad.

Agreed.

We are all meant for worm food. We are going to die. Dead. Game over man. Whatever it all means: shyness is going to impede one for making all they can from the very limited time we have on this Earth. Screw it. Dance like no one is watching. Especially when they are.

 

[Silent Professor]

Well, I think it is agreed that shyness is generally bad, but what about being asocial?

 

[Kwak]

Unless you find being a ruminating king in the castle of regret to be a worthwhile outlook in life then yes, it's bad.
If you want the cookie, say you want the cookie or live forever wondering how the cookie might have tasted.

Ouch, you got me. Well put.

It is definitely bad; it's a retardation of your personhood.

Thinking you are powerless, always silently pleading for someone to approve and notice and validate your hidden talents and genius and brilliance and actually I'm a really nice person but know one realises because they don't notice me, is the way to die unfulfilled, unloved and alone, and it's bad for your health.

Conversely, realising you are the only one responsible for yourself, no-one cares, and you actually have all the power to take your life where you want it, is a good thing.

I'm still mostly living the former, I just have no (well, less) delusions about it. Hope dies, then so eventually do I. Oh well. Life is an absurd joke anyway. It can also be a joyful play with no purpose. Choose wisely.

 

[Pyrian]

Well, I think it is agreed that shyness is generally bad, but what about being asocial?

Frankly, I have something of a fundamental issue with telling people what they "should" want. If they don't want to be social, they don't want to be social, and not being social is a win for them. People who like being social sometimes have issues with less social people because asocial people can get in the way of their socializing (particularly in contained, people-light environments). Some people are highly successful in their careers and personal lives while limiting their social contact. More power to them.

 

[Paragon Fury]

Yes, it is bad.

I can personally attest to it.

 

[Secondhand Revenant]

Hmm. I was going to say no but after reading I suppose it depends on how exactly it's expressing itself. Like if it's preventing you from acting in a way you actually wish you could then yeah that's bad.

Personally I'm a bit shy in that way but mostly I think I'm more cautious in that I want to know what I'm getting into in situations, which I don't think is bad at all. Just do wish I had an easier time speaking up at certain times and take initiative to look more competent and proactive. But in most situations I think some caution and wanting to figure people out works better towards not being obnoxious to others.

 

[stroopwafel]

A moderate degree of shyness isn't bad as it's very common and most people are able to get over it. Social anxiety is definitely bad espescially when it debilitates you from doing the things you want to do. So I guess there is a fine line that separates the two. Hey..that rhymed.

 

[Lil devils x_v1legacy]

Well, I think it is agreed that shyness is generally bad, but what about being asocial?

In combination with idolizing mass murders could be an issue. Even just having one as your avatar may land you on the no fly list..