Poll: Is Not Dating a Certain Race Racist?

Zeldias

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Is not dating a certain race racist? Yes. Because your attraction isn't determined by the specifics of the person, by the specifics of the race. Therefore, it's rooted in racism and thus, racist. A lot of people I'm sure are in the thread talking all this good shit about preferences, but if you're preference excludes an entire race of people, then it's just the same generalized bullshit that we all know that racism is.

"I just don't like black guys; dunno why." "I could never date a Latina woman." Blah blah. It's just internalized racism coming out than masquerading as something other than what it is.
 

Alarien

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I'd like everyone who voted or is continuing to comment on "Yes" in this thread to ask their (insert genital euphemism here) why they may or may not have ever stood at attention for members from a certain race and then come back and say that it's ALL, ALWAYS, WITHOUT A DOUBT, cultural.

If it was cultural, I'd find white blondes attractive.

Generally, I don't.
 

SilverUchiha

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If you don't want to be with them because you hate that race, then yes. But if you're like me and just don't find the general population of a race attractive based on the people you've seen in your surroundings thus far, that doesn't make you racist. You just haven't found anyone of that race attractive enough yet to convince you otherwise. I'm not inclined to ask out African American women, but I know there are attractive ones that exist. Just none I've personally met yet.
 

Balkan

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Ain't that the most typical topic on this forum?
My answer is NO. Not wanting someone to be your boyfriend/girlfriend doesn't mean you hate them.
 

Xangba

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For this guy, as he apparently equated it to bestiality, very yes. Without any actual racist comments or actions though no. Every race has several common characteristics in facial and body features. I don't really go after black women because the common traits aren't sexually appealing to me. Yes I have met some that I find attractive, but they are the outliers for me. Just like I don't find obese women attractive, I don't find bleach blonde hair nice at all, I don't like a lot of piercings (spider bites? Really?), I don't like fake orange tans, and so on. When real racism is involved (like the comments this guy made) then tear him apart, but if no obvious racist actions or comments have been made then we can't really tear people apart for it.

Edited to adjust my answer based on someone informing me of things outside of the main post
 

Seydaman

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Does not wanting to date people with blonde hair make you a bad person?

What about people who enjoy football?

Does not wanting to date women make you sexist? What about the reverse?

No, it doesn't. Assuming you are not dating said race based on appearance. Which may or maynot be the actual case.
 

BloatedGuppy

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Xangba said:
Does this guy actually dislike blacks?
Yes.

Xangba said:
Has he mocked, picked on, or done offensive things to anyone of color because he doesn't like their color?
Yes.

Xangba said:
I don't know, and neither do these people slamming him.
Yes they do. He equated sleeping with a black girl to beastiality, said mixed raced relationships were "filthy", said black people looked like "apes and monkeys" and said the white race was plainly superior because "they weren't picking cotton in a field for 400 years".

Xangba said:
People need to cut this out and actually check to see if there is real racism in situations like this.
Yes, I agree. People should indeed check out if there is real racism in situations like this before leaping to conclusions. And OP *once again* this is why cutting half the context out of your OP is problematic and distorts the discussion.
 

Whiskey7

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Giving that many here have stated that simply cause one doesn't like a certain race cause it isn't their preference; would that mean I have a strong hate for Pepsi cause I just don't like the taste?

Here is how I think it can be broken down:

"I don't date _______, cause I just don't find them attractive." = Not Racist.

"I don't date _______, cause I think they are inferior to me or my race." = Racist.

I grew up in Texas and I'm a white guy that prefers black women. Just how I always been. I have dated others and given all my experiences, I chose black women as I'm always happy with the outcome. Plus a ex of mine that was white stabbed me in the back literally and stole money from me. Besides why look at the negative side to this and look at the positive that someone loves someone else.
 

BlackFlyme

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Xangba said:
Oh come on, once again this type of thing has been blown out of proportion. While the guy worded it very poorly, I understand what he means (or at least what I believe he means). Every race has several common characteristics in facial and body features. I don't really go after black women because the common traits aren't sexually appealing to me. Yes I have met some that I find attractive, but they are the outliers for me. Just like I don't find obese women attractive, I don't find bleach blonde hair nice at all, I don't like a lot of piercings (spider bites? Really?), I don't like fake orange tans, and so on. Does this guy actually dislike blacks? Has he mocked, picked on, or done offensive things to anyone of color because he doesn't like their color? I don't know, and neither do these people slamming him. People need to cut this out and actually check to see if there is real racism in situations like this. Don't tell someone who they are allowed to be attracted to.
Someone linked his reddit thread on the first page, but here it is again.

http://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/1n2sua/i_am_romeo_rose_ask_me_anything_92413_hope_to_see/

"Because when a woman has been with a black man, in my book that is ALMOST the same thing as beastiality, because black people look like apes, monkeys and gorillas. I don't mean any offense to Black people, but that's just the truth. You can't look at a black man like Ving Rhames and a gorilla and tell me you don't see some similarities. I am just speaking the truth and saying what MOST people truly think but don't have the courage to say."
"I am NOT racist. Just because I don't like the appearnce of black people does not make me racist. Just because I don't like a particular painting, does not mean I dislike the medium of Art as a whole!

But I will say this, Blacks do make up the majority of the inmates in the prisons in the country.

And I think it's White people that make up the majority of white collar executive types of positions in America. Probably more Whites are 1 percenters than there are blacks.

When I think of all of the classical composers like Mozart etc that were pure genius, I don't recall many of them being Black.

This is the 1st black president we've had so far and look what a horrible job he has done.

So in the grand scheme of things, it appears the scales are tilted in favor of Whites being the superior race, after all we weren't the ones that were enslaved workinf cotton fields for 40o years..

Just pointing out that history seems to show whites as always rising to the top and dominating all other countries and cultures and taking what they want and doing as they please, being the dominant, most powerful, most intelligent race....

I'm not saying I personally believe whites are superior to blacks, I am not a scientist, and I have not studied it to any great depth...

Just pointing out some observations.

But, again, for the millionth time, I may be a jerk, but I'm not a racist, there's a big difference.

My best friends are black and I have no hatred for them."
"I'm not racist and I would never date a woman that is racist! I hate racism. But I do not believe in whites & blacks mixing sexually, and many blacks also agree with that too! And as far as you being offended, grow a pair dude. Who cares if you are offended? I sure as hell don't! There's no law against "offending" people. You are just overly sensitive dude. This can be a rough world, toughen up your skin. As far as the color you were born, sounds like that's a YP not a MP as in that's your problem, not my problem, go cry on someone else's shoulder. boo hoo lol"

Having preferences by itself not racist, I am not sexually attracted to dark skin tones in the slightest, but that doesn't mean I hate those in my family and friends who do have dark skin tones, it's the thought processes behind why a person has them. This forum feels like an echo chamber sometimes.

Edit: for some reason I'm getting a lot of ads for Latin dating sites. Dafuq? All the ads I've seen on this computer for the past 3 years have almost always been "lose weight!" and "come play/watch this new MMO/Anime", and it decides to change now?
 

Snowbell

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If you like them and choose not to date them SOLELY because of their race, that's kind of racist.

If you simply don't fancy anyone of a different race to you then I'm sure no one will hold it against you.

Personally, I'm not keen on dating outside of my culture since there would be difficulties in the different things expected from relationships. I am dating a man who is racially Indian but who was brought up in England and I'm very happy <3
 

mrblakemiller

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Soundwave said:
mrblakemiller said:
A lot of people are using the following argument around here:

"You can say that you haven't been attracted to anyone from a cetain race yet, and that's okay, but to then extrapolate that you never will find a person of that race attractive is racist."

I want to challenge that. Say a man has tried pizza several times, from several sources, in several ingredient and preparation combinations over the course of twenty years. The man has found each of these experiences to be unsatisfactory. He could say, "I have never enjoyed the pizza I have eaten." A lot of people in situation like this one would say, "I do not like pizza."

Is it wrong for the man to extrapolate from his several experiences that he never will enjoy pizza, or is this simply logical? Shouldn't there be a point at which a person can say, "It's never happened after so many attempts, so I'm going to say that it never will happen"? Not to mention the fact that, when we say we have never liked something and do not like it, we usually leave room in our heads for the possibility of being surprised in the future.
Has anyone made the argument that they've dated 'X' many of 'Y' race and didn't like any of them?

I can tell you that when I was growing up, I wasn't interested in the majority of the black girls that I knew. Which led me to think that "I wasn't attracted to black girls". Come college, suddenly there was a wide variety of different black girls that I found myself highly attracted to.
The analogue isn't dating multiple women of X race, but romantically evaluating multiple women of X race and not finding any of them to tickle your fancy.
 

Sovereignty

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Wait a tick. Isn't the suggested meaning (not literal mind you) of racism, ones unwillingness to accept others of a different race? IE hating all the people of one skin color/ethnic background on the simple fact they're from said racial group?

How does not wanting to date white/black/brown/yellow women fall into the same vein? As far as I'm concerned it's your choice, society can't (and more so shouldn't) tell someone they have to be open to something that is so deeply routed in personal choice as a mate.

I see it as no different then not wanting to date a portly woman, or not wanting to date someone with blue eyes. This isn't someone saying that crime is only cause by black people. It's not some racist spouting hate because some asian kids are allowed to use the public pool. This is a person choosing what they want to find in a prospective mate.
 

mrblakemiller

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BloatedGuppy said:
Yes, I agree. People should indeed check out if there is real racism in situations like this before leaping to conclusions. And OP *once again* this is why cutting half the context out of your OP is problematic and distorts the discussion.
And *once again* I disagree with you. I don't MIND that the conversdation has a bit of a tangent in it that discusses the Sleepless in Austin guy in a direct way. Me writing a forum post about this subject this week means that was likely to happen anyway. Someone would have pointed to one of the many articles circulating the web and said, "Take this guy, for example..." Again, I'm not performing some sort of academic experiment. I think you're challenging me to take a level of ownership over the discussion that I don't want or think I deserve as either a privilege or a burden. The chips are falling where they may, people are talking about what they want to talk about, and I see no reason that should be different.

I could have filled a page with articles, quotations, and rhetoric from both sides of the issue, obviating discussion and making this a mere poll. That would be boring. So I didn't. And I don't care that you disagree.
 

Soundwave

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mrblakemiller said:
The analogue isn't dating multiple women of X race, but romantically evaluating multiple women of X race and not finding any of them to tickle your fancy.
So you looked at the pizza and you didn't eat it? Cause I'll tell you right now, the best way to try pizza is with your mouth.
 

mrblakemiller

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Soundwave said:
mrblakemiller said:
The analogue isn't dating multiple women of X race, but romantically evaluating multiple women of X race and not finding any of them to tickle your fancy.
So you looked at the pizza and you didn't eat it? Cause I'll tell you right now, the best way to try pizza is with your mouth.
Eating pizza is like evaluating women to a romantic end. You and I both know you understand me; please stop feigning misunderstanding as a rhetorical tactic.

I should ask you from these posts of yours: does a person have the right to evaluate another person for romantic potential and decide against such without a date, or does that make the person an arsehole?
 

Soundwave

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mrblakemiller said:
Soundwave said:
mrblakemiller said:
The analogue isn't dating multiple women of X race, but romantically evaluating multiple women of X race and not finding any of them to tickle your fancy.
So you looked at the pizza and you didn't eat it? Cause I'll tell you right now, the best way to try pizza is with your mouth.
Eating pizza is like evaluating women to a romantic end. You and I both know you understand me; please stop feigning misunderstanding as a rhetorical tactic.

I should ask you from these posts of yours: does a person have the right to evaluate another person for romantic potential and decide against such without a date, or does that make the person an arsehole?
It's not feigning misunderstanding, I'm just pointing out the flaw in your analogy. You can't know what a pizza is like without eating it, nor can you know what dating a person of a different race is like without doing so.

It's a bit premature to write off an entire group of people just because you haven't seen one matching your own sense of taste after a relatively small sample.

Edit: (addition) In response to your second paragraph, of course you have a right to evaluate a person before you date them, nobody has argued that you can't.

As has been stated countless times before, it *is* racist to make a judgment based on race. It's not immoral or unethical when it comes to who you choose to date, but pretending that there isn't a racist element (even if it's a small and innocuous one) is self delusion.
 

BloatedGuppy

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Soundwave said:
It's not feigning misunderstanding, I'm just pointing out the flaw in your analogy. You can't know what a pizza is like without eating it, nor can you know what dating a person of a different race is like without doing so.
You wouldn't really know what it's like after, either, as people have a fussy propensity to behave in highly individualistic ways.
 

mrblakemiller

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Soundwave said:
mrblakemiller said:
Soundwave said:
mrblakemiller said:
The analogue isn't dating multiple women of X race, but romantically evaluating multiple women of X race and not finding any of them to tickle your fancy.
So you looked at the pizza and you didn't eat it? Cause I'll tell you right now, the best way to try pizza is with your mouth.
Eating pizza is like evaluating women to a romantic end. You and I both know you understand me; please stop feigning misunderstanding as a rhetorical tactic.

I should ask you from these posts of yours: does a person have the right to evaluate another person for romantic potential and decide against such without a date, or does that make the person an arsehole?
It's not feigning misunderstanding, I'm just pointing out the flaw in your analogy. You can't know what a pizza is like without eating it, nor can you know what dating a person of a different race is like without doing so.

It's a bit premature to write off an entire group of people just because you haven't seen one matching your own sense of taste after a relatively small sample.

Edit: (addition) In response to your second paragraph, of course you have a right to evaluate a person before you date them, nobody has argued that you can't.

As has been stated countless times before, it *is* racist to make a judgment based on race. It's not immoral or unethical when it comes to who you choose to date, but pretending that there isn't a racist element (even if it's a small and innocuous one) is self delusion.
You're absolutely right; you can't know what it's like to date a person of a different race withou dating a person of a different race. You CAN know whether you find that person attractive, and people generally don't date people they don't find attractive.