Poll: Is sexting/sending sexual pictures cheating?

[Sniper Team 4]

Yes. A thousand times over, yes.

 

[OutforEC]

"Cheating" is going against the betterment of the relationship, so it is completely up to you and your partner as to what this constitutes.

 

[Xanadu84]

It it Cheating? No. Is it sketchy as hell? Hell yes! Does his wife have a right to be angry? Certainly. Should anyone outside of their bedroom care? I'm going to go with no.

 

[yndsu]

Unless you are sending those pics to your significant other it is cheating.
No matter which way you put it.

No question.

 

[Ogargd]

I voted yes, because while it isn't cheating in the traditional sense it's still a sign of betrayal to your partner.

 

[TheMagicIndian]

Should really add an option for "It all comes down to the opinions of the people involved." It is a betrayal of trust in my eyes, though. So I suppose I'm on the yes side.

 

[AquaAscension]

Obviously it depends on what your partner thinks.

Personally, I would call anything cheating if you are getting something from someone else that you would normally get from your significant other. So even something like meaningful conversation with another person could constitute cheating. If you would normally confide in your significant other about your troubles, but you decide to do it with someone else online, then you are depriving your significant other from a part of your life, a part they used to have access to.

Of course, again this depends on whether or not your significant other is bothered by such things. If they aren't, or if you have discussed your online habits with them, and they are okay with that, then no, it isn't cheating. People have different ideas about what is okay.

As far as Weiner is concerned, I wouldn't know. I haven't seen what his wife has said on the matter. However, I also don't think it should really be my business. That's between him and his wife to decide. I don't really see how it effects his politics. If he has done something illegal, then that will come out. Until then, I don't really see a point in making a judgement on him. He's a politician. She's a politician's wife. I would suspect anything they say at this point. Hell, she could say he was scum simply because saying she's okay with it would look bad. It's a private matter made public. People will say anything to save face in that situation.

The bolded part worries me. Makes me worried that you have/are dating someone really REALLY controlling. By that definition, you could be cheating on your boy/girlfriend with just regular friends. Or family for that matter. I feel like that definition is so broad it can constitute anything as cheating. Yikes man.

However, I am somewhat inclined to agree that if you are sharing really private parts of yourself with someone other than your significant, there could be a problem. I think what mister Weiner did (besides being a gift from the comedy gods) was very wrong. Sending pictures of jimmy out to women who follow you is obviously sexual and the conversations exchanged were clearly flirtatious (in addition to being really weird). But, again, it's difficult to draw the line.

I don't want to say that talking to anyone online is an act of cheating, nor do I want to say that it is innocent and harmless. I think it boils down to intention: did Weiner want to have relations with any of these women? If yes, it's cheating. If no, it's still wrong but not necessarily cheating... Just crazy.

 

[dOrOrOwait]

Oh god! Its so refreshing to know that everyone voted Yes for this, I am really concerned for you kids that voted no.
I don't think having a meaningful conversation with someone constitutes as cheating but generally if you are desiring someone else other than your partner its cheating and you might as well break it off before you do any damage.
I suppose that's what wrong with society today, people aren't taught values when they are young and they grow up and spread the clap like idiots.

 

[SirDoom]

Obviously it depends on what your partner thinks.

Personally, I would call anything cheating if you are getting something from someone else that you would normally get from your significant other. So even something like meaningful conversation with another person could constitute cheating. If you would normally confide in your significant other about your troubles, but you decide to do it with someone else online, then you are depriving your significant other from a part of your life, a part they used to have access to.

Of course, again this depends on whether or not your significant other is bothered by such things. If they aren't, or if you have discussed your online habits with them, and they are okay with that, then no, it isn't cheating. People have different ideas about what is okay.

Okay, question. According to you, anything you would be getting from your significant other is cheating if you get it from somewhere else.

So, let's assume I was still with my ex. She refused any form of intimate contact. No sexual actions, no kissing, nothing more passionate than a friendly hug. Would it be cheating to go around making out with and/or having sex with other guys and girls, as long as I avoided hugs?

---

Anyway, I do agree that it depends on what your partner thinks. Ultimately, if they think it's cheating, they are the one you're going to have to answer to, even if in your mind it's completely reasonable. Of course, if your significant other thinks even being in the same room with any other person is cheating, then you may want to reconsider your relationship.

 

[BabyRaptor]

This is the kind of thing you talk about with your significant other early on in a relationship. Set down the rules. Then there's no confusion if the worst happens.

I don't see the big deal with what Mr. Anthony did. In the past few years we've had people soliciting gay sex from cops in bathrooms, people picking up "baggage boys" to take on world tours, people sleeping around and then offering the spouse jobs to keep their mouths shut...(All from the anti-gay "family values" party, which makes it worse.)

This guy sent pictures. Pictures in which he was still dressed. Whoop-de-Fucking-do.

 

[BabyRaptor]

This is the kind of thing you talk about with your significant other early on in a relationship. Set down the rules. Then there's no confusion if the worst happens.

I don't see the big deal with what Mr. Anthony did. In the past few years we've had people soliciting gay sex from cops in bathrooms, people picking up "baggage boys" to take on world tours, people sleeping around and then offering the spouse jobs to keep their mouths shut...(All from the anti-gay "family values" party, which makes it worse.)

This guy sent pictures. Pictures in which he was still dressed. Whoop-de-Fucking-do.

Glad to see a sane, measured perspective to this story. I agree that the gay basher that solicited men in the bathroom was a lot worse. Doesn't negate whatever Weiner did but then again I don't think he did much. He wasn't even naked.

I think the worst part of it was that one of them was 17, but even then, depending on what state she lived in she could be considered legal.

 

[Kermi]

If my wife sent pictures of herself naked or sexted with someone, I would consider it cheating - unless it was cleared with me beforehand and I ok'd it. Don't know why I would, just saying.

 

[MrGalactus]

Nah, I don't think it is. It's bad, but not as bad as cheating.

 

[Meggiepants]

So even something like meaningful conversation with another person could constitute cheating.

The bolded part worries me. Makes me worried that you have/are dating someone really REALLY controlling. By that definition, you could be cheating on your boy/girlfriend with just regular friends. Or family for that matter. I feel like that definition is so broad it can constitute anything as cheating. Yikes man.

Your concern is kind, though let me assure you this is not the case. Perhaps if I was a bit more eloquent with what I was trying to say.

Let's take a husband wife scenario. The wife finds out her mother is very ill, perhaps even going to die. Normally, in the past, she would confide these feelings to her husband. They would talk, discuss things, and work them out together. Now though, she feels like it is easier for her to talk to her internet friend. He understands her better, he can soothe her better. So instead of going to her husband to get this comfort, she goes to the internet friend. The husband in the meantime never knows about these troubles, and spends more and more time in the dark with regards to his wife's feelings.

I think that is a kind of emotional detachment that, yes, is a kind of cheating. It's a difficult concept to describe, but I think a lot of long term marriages break up from this type of emotional cheating. Sex is not the cornerstone of a long term relationship, strong communication is. If you suddenly choose to communicate all your intimate feelings with someone else over your partner, you are depriving them of a part of your life that you would normally have shared with them. I've never fallen in love with someone because of great sex, it's the conversations we have and they way they react and support my feelings that is going to create that bond that really holds us together.

I'm not saying you can't have friends that you tell things too. Most people have that and there is nothing wrong with it. What I'm saying is, if you choose to have these intimate conversations with someone other than your partner, that is at the very least a strong warning sign that things are going south rather quickly.

Obviously none of this matters if both members of the relationship have had a discussion about what is or is not okay with them. Everyone draws certain lines in a relationship that they have decided can't be crossed. That stuff gets hashed out in the beginning, or at least, it really should. I think it would save people a lot of pain later in life. Some women don't want porn in their house. Some women don't care if you see a prostitute every now and then. Some men might be okay with an open relationship. Some men might be okay with you having a WoW husband. People are very different, and I don't think every relationship has the same kind of cheating as every other relationship.

Okay, question. According to you, anything you would be getting from your significant other is cheating if you get it from somewhere else.

So, let's assume I was still with my ex. She refused any form of intimate contact. No sexual actions, no kissing, nothing more passionate than a friendly hug. Would it be cheating to go around making out with and/or having sex with other guys and girls, as long as I avoided hugs?

Personally, I think there are more issues here then can be answered with a single statement.

Simple answer: Yes, it is cheating if she isn't okay with it. No, it isn't cheating if she is okay with it. If you are uncomfortable with the boundaries your partner sets upon you regarding what does and does not constitute cheating, you should find another partner.

However, let me put this another way. If I were incapable of being intimate with my significant other, let's say because of some traumatic experience in this case, I would certainly not expect them to go without. I would prefer them to find a professional service, that way emotional attachment to their surrogate sexual partner would be unlikely. I say this because I suspect for someone incapable of being sexual, the friendship is far more important than the sex. I wouldn't know for sure, not being in that situation.

I have no idea if you really wanted to get an answer, or if you were just implying my logic was ridiculous. Reading such things into text on the screen is difficult. But in the spirit of serious discussion, I will say you haven't given enough information for me to give a very detailed answer other than those above.

 

[Harbinger_]

Inspired by a back and forth in another topic, I was suprised to find that some people might not think that what congressman Weiner did constitutes being unfaithful.

So, I thought I'd better ask to see how everyone else feels. Are sexual texting, cyber sex and picture swapping acts of unfaithfulness or harmless fun? Would you be okay if you caught your significant other committing these kind of acts without your knowledge or consent? How would they react if they caught you doing it?

I say it's cheating unless you are in a truly open relationship and your significant other is completely okay with it and you don't mind similar behavior. So basically, I think it's the lying part that makes it unfaithfullness, not so much the actual acts.

Honestly, I feel the same way about actual sex/other stuff as well. If it's not an open relationship you are committing adultery. My rule:

If I wouldn't do it/say it in front of my wife, I won't do it/say it behind her back.

EDIT: If you are not in the US and want to know what Weinergate is, Google Weinergate or US Congressman Weiner. This has nothing to do with whether or not he can govern, only if he was cheating on his wife or not.

My thoughts would be that it is no different than pornography but since I have never been involved in such a thing my opinion might differ if I was.

 

[Detective Prince]

-.- Yes of course it is. If your partner doesn't know about it than even more so.

 

[Creator002]

Definitely cheating. Unless the relationship is truly open, I would definitely be hurt if my partner was doing this with someone else.

EDIT

If I wouldn't do it/say it in front of my wife, I won't do it/say it behind her back.

Excellent choice of words. Mind if I steal that?

 

[DroothR]

Base line is, if you're doing ANYTHING behind your partner's back that you hide from them, then it's being unfaithful.

If you have to hide it from them, then you shouldn't be doing it.

If it's something you do with your partner's full knowledge, then it's all good.

 

[StormShaun]

Proberly yes, if I saw that I would immediatly think she is cheating on me. So yeh.

 

[Valis88]

What I don't get is this. If you to the point of sending nude pictures to someone other than the person your currently with. Why not end your current relationship?

I've never understood cheating in any forum...if you no longer love someone just...end the relationship. The you can have a relationship the new person that inflames your passion and no one is badly hurt.

Simple as that.