Poll: Isn't crying about the deceased pointless?

[Thaius]

Crying is always pointless, if you're looking at it from a completely utilitarian point of view. Crying is simply a physical reaction to sadness. It doesn't change anything, it just happens when you're sad. So no, there's never a point. But it's also not something you can control; it's not like you can just go, "Well being sad isn't productive, so screw this."

I honestly don't understand the point of this question. You're stating an obvious and unavoidable fact and trying to paint it as a bad thing, and I'm not sure why that's even a point of consideration.

 

[Vykrel]

calling it "pointless" is pretty ridiculous, dont you think? having emotions and being overpowered by them doesnt have a "point". if you feel sadness, you might end up crying.

its like asking if it is "pointless" to laugh at a joke.

 

[TheRundownRabbit]

Feeling are what makes us human, I believe crying helps because you are letting your feelings out instead of keeping them inside. Out of everything I've ever done, crying is what has made me feel the most human.

 

[Gottesstrafe]

Well, aside from providing an emotional outlet and giving others a sense of closure, there's also social obligation. In many cultures with deeply rooted senses of ancestor veneration and filial piety (i.e. Chinese, many Native American tribes, African tribes, Indians, etc.) mourning serves the symbolic purpose of acknowledging one's loyalty to the deceased and reaffirming that the original relationship between the living and deceased remains intact. Aside from supporting an ideology that reinforces a family's unity and lineage, the practice also reflects well on the family and raises them in social prestige.

 

[BrownGaijin]

Snip

I didn't cry at my grandfather's funeral when other people did - no one called me heartless. I think it sucks that you were not graced with the same fortune, but there's no point in crying over spilled milk (rim shot). I also don't think that just because everybody called you so makes for a viable argument to abolish crying as a way to mourn in our culture. And while I would like to endorse ***** slapping everyone who calls you that, let's face it, they're mourning, and you should just let them be - or at the very least picture them with the face of a internet troll.

P.S. Love the pug.

 

[Alexias_Sandar]

If it helps you grieve and heal, then it's a good thing. Crying is an effective way for you to help get grief out and helps clear your mind and body.

well thing is it doesn't really help everyone, and people have no right to call him heartless for not crying at a funeral.

We each respond differently the grief. True enough, and nothing I'll argue.

 

[oktalist]

If I am not crying at a funeral(which doesn't mean I didn't love them) then everybody calls me out for that and calls me heartless and the like.

Wait what? I can't quite believe this. Must be some awfully inconsiderate people not realising that everyone deals with grief differently and in their own personal way.

 

[Rex Fallout]

It's part of our soul. It's part of being human to miss those that have gone before their time, and those who even if it was their time, we loved and never wanted to leave.

Is it pointless? Yes and no. Yes it is pointless to cry over them because they no longer feel pain, but no in the fact that it proves we are still human, and care about those we love with such a passion that we shall mourn them after death.

 

[MADrevilution]

damn i clicked "no never" instead of yes always. My bad, anyway, if a person that i care about dies i get sad, when i get sad ill cry, sometimes itll be just a few tears or itll be full on crying if i cared that much about them, theres nothing wrong with it, infact it helps the wound heal kind of.

 

[KeyMaster45]

Why do we almost mandate that people must be sad when someone dies? And yes, it's also a cultural thing to a point. If I am not crying at a funeral(which doesn't mean I didn't love them) then everybody calls me out for that and calls me heartless and the like.

No one expects you to be crying at a funeral, what they do expect is that you're respectful to those who were close to the deceased. It doesn't take much either, just stand there and be quiet. If you're not very close to the person who died then all that matters is you took the time to show up and offer your support for their loved ones.

I had a friend who's father dropped dead in their backyard last July, in front of him no less. I never once saw him shed a tear through the entire service or wake afterwords. His mother cried plenty though. No one faulted him for it, he's just not the type of person to publicly show his emotions. So yeah, if people are getting mad at you because you aren't crying at a funeral then tell em to piss off or explain to them that you didn't really know the person so you can't exactly get teary eyed over their passing. Though to be honest if someone is getting on your back because they think you should be more sad then they're probably just a prick normally.

 

[xvbones]

Now before you go all "evil wannabe-manly guy" on me, please listen:

I understand that being sad about dead people has its right to exist, as you can never see someone again you maybe liked or loved. It's just there to relieve the stress of bearing with that.
Still, that begs the question:

Except for you(and people you're crying with) maybe feeling better, does it make any sense? It surely does not reverse the situation or anything like that, sometimes I even feel like it's really stupid to do that, because the dead person surely wouldn't want you to be sad, so why the hell do we do this?
Why do we almost mandate that people must be sad when someone dies? And yes, it's also a cultural thing to a point. If I am not crying at a funeral(which doesn't mean I didn't love them) then everybody calls me out for that and calls me heartless and the like. Why do we continue this trend in culture? Your parents almost teach you that you have to be sad, and case in point, it would also be sad for people without that, yes, but not that sad. It's just like getting angry at certain things, it's also a part of the education how strong you react to something, so why do we make it worse than it actually would be?

You have never lost anyone really important to you, this is obvious.

You may have lost grandparents, maybe, but no one you were really very close to.

I am happy that you have not ever had to experience true loss.

May you never be forced to understand what it feels like.

 

[Darth Sea Bass]

Yeah it may be pointless and i may try not to be overly emotional but when my gran died there was no way i could have kept it in. I'd rather that than just feel numbness.

 

[holy_secret]

Now before you go all "evil wannabe-manly guy" on me, please listen:

I understand that being sad about dead people has its right to exist, as you can never see someone again you maybe liked or loved. It's just there to relieve the stress of bearing with that.
Still, that begs the question:

Except for you(and people you're crying with) maybe feeling better, does it make any sense? It surely does not reverse the situation or anything like that, sometimes I even feel like it's really stupid to do that, because the dead person surely wouldn't want you to be sad, so why the hell do we do this?
Why do we almost mandate that people must be sad when someone dies? And yes, it's also a cultural thing to a point. If I am not crying at a funeral(which doesn't mean I didn't love them) then everybody calls me out for that and calls me heartless and the like. Why do we continue this trend in culture? Your parents almost teach you that you have to be sad, and case in point, it would also be sad for people without that, yes, but not that sad. It's just like getting angry at certain things, it's also a part of the education how strong you react to something, so why do we make it worse than it actually would be?

That's the things about emotions. They don't make sense. They are not supposed to either.

I don't get sad when someone I love die. I get a piece of my soul ripped out of me.
When I start crying, I also start processing it. So I would say at least for me it's a way to get control over my emotions and myself.

You have never lost anyone really important to you, this is obvious.

You may have lost grandparents, maybe, but no one you were really very close to.

I am happy that you have not ever had to experience true loss.

May you never be forced to understand what it feels like.

Amen.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Yes, crying is usually pointless for just about anything, but sometimes it cannot be helped. It probably falls under the context of one of the conditions that make people "human," much like laughter does not really accomplish anything either. I'm fully accepting that both of my parents will one day be dead, yet that most likely won't make any difference to my emotions when they do die.

Reminds me of a story. Many weeks ago I met a woman on the internet. She had many of the same interests I had, was very physically attractive, laughed at my jokes, lived relatively close, and found me to be attractive as well. She had a boyfriend, but we planned to meet up and have sex. It was very, very unlikely to actually happen and I understood she could change her mind at any point. The next day I made multiple attempts to contact her again, but to no avail. I later happened upon her online again and she explained that it wouldn't work out. I said I was okay with that.

Well, considering that was the closest I had ever gotten to physical sexual contact with a woman, I was crushed. I didn't even realize it at the time. However for the last few weeks, any spare moment spent alone I thought about nothing else, I hung my head, and cried like a *****. It can't be helped. I know there's no way I can make it work, nothing I can say to bring her back, nothing in my life has really changed for the worse, and that it was a million-to-one shot anyways. But still, I lie awake at night whining to myself about it. Such is the human condition.

 

[Gluzzbung]

Isn't life pointless? (If we're gonna be all philosphical and stuff)

 

[William Ossiss]

a funeral is supposed to be a celebration. not something where you go to bawl out your eyes and be sad because you lost someone.

 

[SonOfVoorhees]

Yes it is, but its an emotion so we respond to it. Same as getting angry at a computer or when your team loses. All pointless, but then emotion is pointless in itself.