Calm down it's a song lyric reference. I'm not good at titles.
So I saw this article today, and clicked on it because I have a 26 year old female friend who is absolutely obsessed with the idea of meeting a guy and getting married, and her lack of success is very slowly driving her insane.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-legitimate-reasons-that-marriage-should-be-abolished/
I know, I know, Cracked, they suck now. I'm sorry. You don't even NEED to click on the article I will explain all this shit to you for the purposes of fruitful discussion.
Full disclosure. I am not married. I have never been married. My parents were happily married for many years until my father's death, so they worked out the "till death do us part" bit, and my Mom shows zero interest in re-marriage so she clearly felt it applied to both of them. I had the role models. I have some married friends and some unmarried friends, some happily common-law friends and some bitter divorced friends. I'm in a happy relationship of almost 14 years and we show no signs of splitting up. I wasn't raised religious so the tradition itself has no real significance for me. I would qualify as having a slight "anti-marriage" bias, if I had one at all, simply because it's never really "been for me" for no particular reason other than it seems odd.
So what's the deal with this article? Well it was the comments. They're not SO bad, outside of a few, but they were pretty predictable. Pretty angry, pretty defensive, pretty circle the wagons-defend the Queen.
I have another young friend (28) who presently does NOT want to get married. She's been with her boyfriend for 4 years, and has attended maybe 15 weddings during that span of time for various friends. The uniting factor between her and the 26 year old is they both feel a near unceasing pressure from every married person in their lives to follow suit. If they've not accomplished the feat yet, something is wrong. If they express no interest, something is wrong. "This is not for me" is not an acceptable answer. It suggests their relationship is teetering on the edge of DOOM.
I had a co-worker who got married, some 5-6 years ago. He was very, very smug about it. Saying how he never understood relationships until he was married, and now he GOT IT. I suggested the marriage itself had nothing to do with it and maybe this was just his first good relationship, and he scoffed. Said I wouldn't understand until I myself was married. Two years later he'd been cheated on and divorced. I'm still in the same happy relationship. Now I'M being smug, but I run into this horse shit more often than you'd think. You see it with "had children" versus "no children" as well. Sort of a "Playstation vs XBOX" sunk-cost fallacy but with ridiculously high stakes. People make this binary "one or the other" life choice and want to feel like they did the right thing, so they turn into hectoring cunts about it.
So, some questions for the 5 people still frequenting this forum and reading this thread...
1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?
2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?
3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?
4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?
5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.
So I saw this article today, and clicked on it because I have a 26 year old female friend who is absolutely obsessed with the idea of meeting a guy and getting married, and her lack of success is very slowly driving her insane.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-legitimate-reasons-that-marriage-should-be-abolished/
I know, I know, Cracked, they suck now. I'm sorry. You don't even NEED to click on the article I will explain all this shit to you for the purposes of fruitful discussion.
Full disclosure. I am not married. I have never been married. My parents were happily married for many years until my father's death, so they worked out the "till death do us part" bit, and my Mom shows zero interest in re-marriage so she clearly felt it applied to both of them. I had the role models. I have some married friends and some unmarried friends, some happily common-law friends and some bitter divorced friends. I'm in a happy relationship of almost 14 years and we show no signs of splitting up. I wasn't raised religious so the tradition itself has no real significance for me. I would qualify as having a slight "anti-marriage" bias, if I had one at all, simply because it's never really "been for me" for no particular reason other than it seems odd.
So what's the deal with this article? Well it was the comments. They're not SO bad, outside of a few, but they were pretty predictable. Pretty angry, pretty defensive, pretty circle the wagons-defend the Queen.
I have another young friend (28) who presently does NOT want to get married. She's been with her boyfriend for 4 years, and has attended maybe 15 weddings during that span of time for various friends. The uniting factor between her and the 26 year old is they both feel a near unceasing pressure from every married person in their lives to follow suit. If they've not accomplished the feat yet, something is wrong. If they express no interest, something is wrong. "This is not for me" is not an acceptable answer. It suggests their relationship is teetering on the edge of DOOM.
I had a co-worker who got married, some 5-6 years ago. He was very, very smug about it. Saying how he never understood relationships until he was married, and now he GOT IT. I suggested the marriage itself had nothing to do with it and maybe this was just his first good relationship, and he scoffed. Said I wouldn't understand until I myself was married. Two years later he'd been cheated on and divorced. I'm still in the same happy relationship. Now I'M being smug, but I run into this horse shit more often than you'd think. You see it with "had children" versus "no children" as well. Sort of a "Playstation vs XBOX" sunk-cost fallacy but with ridiculously high stakes. People make this binary "one or the other" life choice and want to feel like they did the right thing, so they turn into hectoring cunts about it.
So, some questions for the 5 people still frequenting this forum and reading this thread...
1. Are you married? If yes, are you keen on it? Do you believe it's the RIGHT THING FOR EVERYONE and apply passive pressure to your unmarried friends to follow your lead, say the arcane words over the magic book, and exchange symbols?
2. If you're a believer in the institution, do you believe it imparts greater significance, staying power, or affection to a relationship that did not undertake the ritual?
3. Do you get stroppy/angry if you feel someone is disrespecting the institution or does not hold it in the same sacred high regard as you? Visa versa? Why?
4. Is marriage a fundamentally conservative institution? Is it becoming a "battleground" issue due to the omnipresent and extremely tiresome partisan debate between "left and right"?
5. I'm making Cajun chicken wraps does anyone have any good tasty/healthy recipes they want to share I'm cool for some tips gotta shake it up a bit.