Poll: Physical Punishment Towards Children, Yay or Nay?

[rancher of monsters]

So I was watching a comedian last night who brought up one of the greatest dividers between parents, the use of physical punishment. Now I'd like to be clear, I in no way advocate a serious blow on a child, that is abusive. That being said, I was spanked with hands and belts as a child and I think I am better for it. Time out has never worked on me, it would just give me time to let my imagination wander, but pretty much every child understands pain. so I thought I'd ask the Escapist community how do you feel about physiucal punishment? Also, how would you feel about a friend, family member, or neighbor who went out of their way to punish your child?

 

[Jordi]

I think physical punishment is fine, but only as an educational/disciplinary tool. If the physical punishment is doled out because the parent is mad, that is just wrong. I also think it should definitely not be too severe and should always be a last resort, because there are often better ways to discipline a child.

 

[0000000000000000001]

I think it's really up to the parents to decide what's best for their child. If they want to spank them, fine, I don't think we should make a big deal about it if it isn't abusive. But if someone tried to punish my kid without telling me first or in a way I didn't approve of, I wouldn't be particularly happy.

 

[Arctarus'sCookie]

I say yes to a degree. When I was smaller and I acted up I'd get a quick smack. Nothing too damaging but it said "Hey, I see what you're doing and cut it out." You can't overdo it though (causing bone damage/bruises/making the child cry) but a strike of authority seems right to me.

 

[dyre]

Definitely not as simple as the "yes or no" your poll implies.

It's not the most effective tool, since it gives kids the impression that violence is the answer, plus it's either overused, which is obviously bad, or underused, which renders it ineffective (you get beat, 5 minutes later you forget about it).

Taking away privileges like the ability to go out or play video games or w/e is more effective.

But corporal discipline is absolutely better than no discipline.

 

[Rblade]

it has been scientifically proven that physical punishment has no positive reinforcing effect. It only makes the child fear punishment and thus be sneaky about it.

it also has a negative impact on how the child learns conflicts are to be resolved

 

[unoleian]

Every time I got bent over a knee in my youth, I really had it coming.
Aside from that, a quick smack to the ass seems to take care of business far quicker than 20 minutes of "Timmy, please. Please, Timmy, that's enough. Timmy, don't do that. No, Timmy. Timmy......stop it. Stop it, Timmy. Timmy, no more..."
Lady, kid ain't gonna stop unless he's got a reason to stop. Not getting a chapped ass is an excellent deterrent. None of this weak-sauce modern-day parenting crap.

Notice there's a difference between abuse and behavior correction. A vast, vast difference.

 

[babinro]

I don't personally agree with the concept...but I also don't feel it is as bad as some people make it out to be. So far as a I know, pretty much everyone I know grew up with physical punishment.

 

[Zac Smith]

My mum and dad hit me if I messed them about. Look at me now, I work hard at my job, I pay my way, I'm polite, don't do drugs or drink heavily, and have never been in serious trouble with police etc. If a kid needs a "nudge" in the right direction and understands that some things you can and cannot do then i'm ok with that.

Will I beat my own children? Defiantly not, will I give him a quick slap if he's misbehaving, almost certainly

 

[Craorach]

I believe that some physical punishment has its place.

Not everything a child learns needs to be "positively reinforcing". Very young children are hard to reason with, or may simply not be able to fully understand the consequences of their actions.

Further, some behaviours need not be reasoned with, simply stopped.

Physical punishments are especially useful in situations where a child is in danger of hurting themselves or others. As a child I once grabbed my cat's tail and didn't let go when it bolted over the fence it was sitting on.. me hanging from one side, cat from the other, tail bent painfully between. Nothing would have made me more aware of the pain I had caused than the smack on the rear I got for that.

I do not feel that any form of weapon should ever be used.. simply a bare hand. As an older parent I once knew said "If I smack them with a spoon, I don't know how much it hurt.. if I use my hand, I really am hurting me as much as I am them."

 

[let's rock]

I understand using it a few times, and after that use it more as a threat to prevent misbehaving, or sit down and explain why what they did was wrong, not just hitting them every time. But still do it in extreme cases that justify it

 

[Cid Silverwing]

Never.

It causes wanton trauma that will only deteriorate the child's mental well-being later in life.

 

[Mordwyl]

Children don't know any better to have a developed conscience at such a tender age. However, a child will think twice about doing something wrong if there's going to be a real direct consequence (i.e. spankings). Then again, it really depends on the child and how close the parent is towards them.

 

[Dense_Electric]

Physical contact is often the only way to get through toward mentally underdeveloped people like children. While the child may not have a sense of right or wrong yet, most children are not stupid and will avoid doing things they know will get them in trouble/cause pain. That being said, you don't need to beat the kid, just hit them hard enough to shock them into not doing it again.

 

[garfoldsomeoneelse]

It gave me a very strong sense of right and wrong. As far as I'm concerned, parents are welcome to beat the hell out of their kids for the right reasons; it's only abuse in my book if it's unwarranted and/or doesn't contribute towards the betterment of the child.

 

[Jedamethis]

Depends on the child I think. But most of the time, you shouldn't need to go that far.

 

[OrodrethAmandil]

it has been scientifically proven that physical punishment has no positive reinforcing effect. It only makes the child fear punishment and thus be sneaky about it.

Some things are very hard to do "sneakily". So in some situations the child knows that it can't do it without being caught. Children don't respect parents if they know they can get away with anything. Physical punishment needs to be used when a child is doing something very wrong or as a last resort

 

[Daystar Clarion]

When you touch fire, you get burned.

You don't hate the fire, but know that if you fuck around with it, you'll get burned.

That's my analogy for spanking anyway.

Sometimes the only thing that can truly get the message across is pain.

 

[Zigot66]

I've found that, growing up, the timely cuff to the back of the head did a lot to keep me in line. Personally I think this works best, there is almost no delay between misdeed and punishment, so you know exactly what you did that got you in trouble. You shouldn't hit too hard, just enough to make it clear, really it shouldn't be the actual hit that hurts, but rather the very fact that it was done at all. Most importantly, it cannot be used too often as it reduces the effect and causes resentment.

 

[Littlee300]

Never.

It causes wanton trauma that will only deteriorate the child's mental well-being later in life.

This
I Was a DICK as a child. I got older. I don't blame me becoming less of a dick because of discipline. The escapist may've been a factor in maturing me also

Edit: Let me give examples

Me as a little kid: HEY! You got more fries than me
*smack*
from that I learned to not complain when it is really necessary

example

Mom talking while I am trying to sleep

Little kid me wants to tell her to let me sleep but I just try to ignore it until I grow a pet peeve


My friends also say I became shy and quiet when people argue against me in debates
This was was learned in a class debate (Which I kicked ass in) >

My point may've came across better if I didn't forget my full analyst I made of 'discipline' I had as a child

Edit 2: I remember as a child thinking "Gawd I rather be slapped across the face than grounded!" The boredom was horrible! It was so anger inducing to my little kid self.