Kahunaburger said:
DoomyMcDoom said:
Let me put it this way - there are no shortage of people on the internet who claim to have become successful in their romantic/sex lives by not being a "nice guy" (definitions for this mythical "nice guy" creature vary from place to place) but you don't see that sort of approach work IRL very often.
There!
Figured I'd get a more informational response!
ok, now there is a difference between being nice, and being "nice" being "nice" is generally using a facade to mask your own insecurity, being nice is not bad at all and is refreshing.
I know what a lot of people claim, and I know whatever I tell you will likely not hold any weight if you don't want it to. After all, this is the internet, a lot of people will say things to puff themselves up and make themselves look great or whatever.
Thing is, we all experience things differently, however respect in itself is a universal thing, if you treat someone as an equal and respect that they are different in essencial ways that make us all human male/female/individual, there is one thing that is very universal, when someone puts you on a pedastal because you are different in a single way, say female for example, that is disrespectful, as it denotes that they only care about that single aspect, that is the insecure "nice" guy way, if you treat a woman like a person, aim little digs at them, tease them, compliment them when it's due not all the damn time, and generally don't worship them, or whatever, you generally get a much much better response than if you take them to fancy restaurants all the time and buy them shit a lot...(they tend to see buying them a lot of stuff as trying to buy affection, and tends to turn them off, even if they don't realise it's happening, that or they'll hang on and fake it till yer broke and move on, really depends on the woman, the kind that leech you dry are terrible greedy people anyway best avoided)
Just saying, I personally used to be so bad off it wasn't funny, for years and years it got to the point where I was actually wondering what was wrong with me, I must be hideous or totally untouchable or something... Well I decided to look, really seriously into relationships, watch people I knew who were successful and y'know... had a girlfriend that did things for them, rather than just taking advantage of the guy all the time, or guys that had a decent dating life, and got laid consistently... I then started to test some of the traits I observed, and gradually started seeing real positive results, wasn't some overnight change, but to go from a string of shit "luck" with relationships to dating a fair multitude of girls having them want me at times far more than I wanted them, in the space of a few months...
Thing is, I'm not saying I changed who I was, just How I presented myself, there's a lot of little things that women instinctively pick up on, especially in our body language, that can cause major shifts in how they relate to us.
there's a multitude of these little things that kill attraction(immediately or gradually depending on the situation and other variables as such), and there are just as many little things that can cause attraction...
Again, not saying all women relate to you the same, far from it, but there are certain things that are very common if not universal, hell us men have the same shit going on behind our minds, the subconscious nature of humans is a fascinating thing.
Also, I really don't think you're a "self righteous ****", in fact you seem a pretty decent person, just used that to get your attention to how disrespectful your response seemed to me, taking a stab at me without even giving a reason or opinion or anything, bad form and all that.
Relationships have no cure-all, but I've been through a lot of trial and error, and I've found a way of presenting myself that's both honest to who I am and attractive to the opposite sex... And I figure it might be nice to help others find their own groove, y'know, hints tips, helping them see the results clearer, all us men can use a wingman, or buddy to help them see the science of it, what works what doesn't, encouragement, constructive criticism, that kinda thing.