Poll: Should parents have to pay back their kids

[Flare Phoenix]

If they're borrowing money off of you - money that you earned - then yes, they should give it back.

Before you take the moral high ground though, try and visualise exactly how much money they've spent on you, with no expectation of ever getting it back. If they do it too often, then yeah, sure, try and get repaid. If it's reasonably uncommon though, think about letting them off the hook.

No No No No No No No No No No No!!!

Just because a parent raises a child does not mean the parent should be entitled to any money from said child. What you're suggesting is removing a child's basic right to feel safe and secure in their own enviroment. If you allow parents to take just a little bit of money from their child, where does it end? "Sorry Timmy, I had to sell all your clothes because I wanted to go see a movie and have dinner at an expensive restuarant". For that matter, what is that teaching the child? If they want something they can simply take it regardless of how the proper owner feels about it?

That's not what I was saying...

I was saying that the parents should pay the child back, and that that should be the status quo. If, however, the child chooses to forgive their parents the debt, then that is acceptable too, so long as it's still the decision of the child. I just added some further justification because it pisses me off whenever my sister marches right up to my mother and demands her money back.

Sorry, I just get annoyed when people suggest a child should owe their parents financially for raising them. If a child agrees to lend their parents money, and also agrees it is the parent's choice to pay them back, that's fine, but that's not what's happening here.

Whether it was your intention or not, your post is saying parents have a right to take their child's money because they had to spend money to raise them.

Is it? Bugger, okay, I'll do a quick edit. Thanks for the heads up.

Basically at the point where you suggest he has no moral highground because his mother spent money raising him.

"Before you take the moral high ground though, try and visualise exactly how much money they've spent on you, with no expectation of ever getting it back" <--- That part mostly.

 

[Berithil]

Yes. I'm fine with them borrowing money from me cause they're my parents. I won't charge any interest. But if I don't expect the money back, I would be out about $900, which is a lot when your a teenager.

 

[Bobbity]

If they're borrowing money off of you - money that you earned - then yes, they should give it back.

Before you take the moral high ground though, try and visualise exactly how much money they've spent on you, with no expectation of ever getting it back. If they do it too often, then yeah, sure, try and get repaid. If it's reasonably uncommon though, think about letting them off the hook.

No No No No No No No No No No No!!!

Just because a parent raises a child does not mean the parent should be entitled to any money from said child. What you're suggesting is removing a child's basic right to feel safe and secure in their own enviroment. If you allow parents to take just a little bit of money from their child, where does it end? "Sorry Timmy, I had to sell all your clothes because I wanted to go see a movie and have dinner at an expensive restuarant". For that matter, what is that teaching the child? If they want something they can simply take it regardless of how the proper owner feels about it?

That's not what I was saying...

I was saying that the parents should pay the child back, and that that should be the status quo. If, however, the child chooses to forgive their parents the debt, then that is acceptable too, so long as it's still the decision of the child. I just added some further justification because it pisses me off whenever my sister marches right up to my mother and demands her money back.

Sorry, I just get annoyed when people suggest a child should owe their parents financially for raising them. If a child agrees to lend their parents money, and also agrees it is the parent's choice to pay them back, that's fine, but that's not what's happening here.

Whether it was your intention or not, your post is saying parents have a right to take their child's money because they had to spend money to raise them.

Is it? Bugger, okay, I'll do a quick edit. Thanks for the heads up.

Basically at the point where you suggest he has no moral highground because his mother spent money raising him.

"Before you take the moral high ground though, try and visualise exactly how much money they've spent on you, with no expectation of ever getting it back" <--- That part mostly.

Okay, I reworded it. I wasn't implying that there's no moral high ground there - there is, definitely - just that one shouldn't be so quick to take it. Anyway, thanks for pointing that out, hopefully it's all fixed now.

 

[ParkourMcGhee]

I dunno, I got a bunch of pocket money so I figure it's ok if I lend them a bit now and then. With mine it usualyl isn't much and they mostly give it back.

Your case, it seems like you should take issue with it though.

How you decide to deal with it is your prerogative .

 

[SomeBritishDude]

I'd be pretty pissed if my mum started doing this...But if it's not a huge amount I'd leave it be. Consider it you paying her back for the 1000's of nappies you went though.

 

[Exile714]

Legally speaking, it depends on your country's laws. In the US, it's your money and your parents have no right to it. That said, the amounts are so small that courts wouldn't bother with it anyway, so let's talk moral.

Is it immoral for a parent to have a right to her child's money? I say yes, it is immoral to take a child's money, no matter their age or how much the parent has provided that child. Parents have a legal and moral responsibility to provide for their children. If parents fail to provide, they can be thrown in jail. There are things a parent does not need to provide, like nice toys, but which nonetheless become the property of the child upon gifting.

The child has no choice but to accept the necessities (food, housing, clothing) which are the legal responsibility of the parent because children cannot sustain themselves. Child labor is outlawed, children do not have the education to support themselves, and employers would not pay children a living wage for their services. This is why parents have a legal and moral obligation to provide for their children, because it was a parent's choice to make a child and not the child itself.

Since there is no legal or moral obligation for the child to care for itself, indeed it cannot, then there must be some other legal or moral obligation which gives the parent a right to the money. A promise to repay is a legal obligation which would make lending the parent money acceptable. A child's carelessness which results in broken property (window, TV, etc) creates a moral obligation that the child repay. However, eating the food a parent must provide legally does NOT create an obligation for the child to pay.

Lastly, it is the child's CHOICE to work. A child is not legally required to work until that child becomes an adult. If a child does choose to work, it is for that child's personal benefit and not the parent. If a parent takes the money, the child could choose to stop working and the parent would have no say in the matter. Since it is the child's choice, to give up time and physical labor in exchange for compensation, then the fruits of that choice belong to the child.

 

[CplDustov]

I wouldn't call the police but it's a question of respect. Your mother should ask. And tell your father to pay you back sooner. At the end of the day. Yes, they payed for far more than it's likely you'll ever manage to reimburse. So complaining or flat out refusing would be a bit mean. However, at the same time, having children is an expense that if you can't accept... don't have kids. Sure families are not always planned to appear in the moment you choose as ideal but I doubt calculating the expenses and charging your child once they started working for the baby food and cot etc makes much sense.

Respectfully tell them how it makes you feel and ensure you express the fact you recognise what they have done for you. If either of them get overly offended and argues the points I made above keep calm. You probably just hit a guilty feeling nerve but I wouldn't worry too much about that happening.

The point is at least in the cultures I have lived in, you're supposed to ask before borrowing other people's things. It's just polite.

 

[lizzielizzie]

Get a freaking bank account. Problem solved.

 

[UlytimateDestruction]

Yes, all types of money you borrow you have to pay the person back in the time limit that they set because its there money. Also, the definition for borrow means one who borrows an object from another person for a certain period of time with there permission and then gives it back. What your mom is doing is stealing and it is not right, its your money and you have the right to do what you want with it.

 

[MadeinHell]

Yes they absolutely should give you back any money they borrowed. Not only would that be critically unfair, but it also creates a very bad signal.
Also if your mom is taking money from you without even TELLING you about it, and than never gives back. That's not called "lending" that's called "stealing"

Only case where I'd consider parents not returning the money they borrowed from their child is a really bad family financial situation. I mean a situation where you barely have anything to put in your mouth. Since the whole family has to suffer through it it's perfectly understandable for me in that case.

 

[Sentox6]

Sure parents buy you a lot of things, feed you , spend lots of money on you. But thats their job, that comes with being a parent. You owe them nothing, thats make take on it.

I think on principle, yes, parents should pay back their kids.

That said, it's not quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, by having a child there is the implicit obligation to take care of it. But it's not a binary obligation. The parents can do the bare minimum required, or they can spend extra time and money on education, health, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, if my parents just phoned it in, so to speak, I'd want my money back. But if they were actually good parents, I'm not so sure I'd be complaining.

 

[94samWOW]

34 people are parents that steal money from their kids... 317 are (or remember when they were) kids who've had this problem...

Honestly, I don't think my parents have ever paid me back a dime of what they borrowed from me, and I'm pretty sick of my college fund getting smaller and smaller every time Mom needs a pack of cigarettes and doesn't have any cash on her...

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Sure parents buy you a lot of things, feed you , spend lots of money on you. But thats their job, that comes with being a parent. You owe them nothing, thats make take on it.

I think on principle, yes, parents should pay back their kids.

That said, it's not quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, by having a child there is the implicit obligation to take care of it. But it's not a binary obligation. The parents can do the bare minimum required, or they can spend extra time and money on education, health, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, if my parents just phoned it in, so to speak, I'd want my money back. But if they were actually good parents, I'm not so sure I'd be complaining.

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

 

[CATB320]

I don't think parents really need to pay their kids back, but it's more about the lesson than the money itself. By paying your kids back, you're teaching them to do the same when they borrow money.

 

[Cherry Cola]

snip

If this was a thread about "Should I forgive my mother", then you'd be right. Of course you should forgive the person that's done so much to raise you into this world. But this is a thread on whether or not it is unethical to take money your child has earned for himself, and there's no reason to write what you wrote. Because even if we accept the point your making (i.e. Kids don't have the right to complain), that's not a definite answer to the question. Rather, it's avoiding the issue at hand, since you're saying that kids aren't allowed to consider some of the actions of their parents to be unethical.

snip

The same thing goes for you.

Look, I get where you're both coming from. You are right about how kids often don't realize what their parents go through to raise them. But this isn't a spiteful question filled with disdain for the people that brought the OP into this world. He's actually acknowledging the fact that he owes his parents a lot. Do you think anyone would ask "Is it okay for drug dealers to borrow money and never pay back?" Absolutely not. But he knows that his parents are a special case, that he owes them more than he ever can repay, and he wants to know if that can hinder such an act from being unethical.

So cut the kid some slack, will ya?

 

[Anti Nudist Cupcake]

If your mom didn't let you know first and just took it from you, then she has done a very...lowly thing, even if it was just for necessities such as food, she could have at least let you know.

How low do you have to be to steal from your OWN CHILDREN?

Just tell her that if she desperately needs cash, you will lend it to her. She just needs to be kind and explain the situation and what she needs it for and ask you for it. Then she needs to just say when she will try to pay you back because all though she did raise you, you earned that cash from doing extra chores. Her expecting you to give your work money from chores you did for both the house and family is like expecting you to pay HER for the work you did.

If she needs the cash for necessities like petrol or food then don't expect from her to pay back, she really is in a desperate situation and you should be kinder to her.

But if she just takes it from you for unessential items and doesn't bother to sympathize with you or pay you back then damn, for the sake of not flaming I will remain quiet about my opinion of such a low person.

 

[Sentox6]

I think on principle, yes, parents should pay back their kids.

That said, it's not quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, by having a child there is the implicit obligation to take care of it. But it's not a binary obligation. The parents can do the bare minimum required, or they can spend extra time and money on education, health, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, if my parents just phoned it in, so to speak, I'd want my money back. But if they were actually good parents, I'm not so sure I'd be complaining.

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...[/quote]
Because life is that simple, right?

Look, my parents put a lot into me, and they've paid me back every cent they've borrowed religiously. Still, if your parents are anything other than absolute dickwads, and you're still living off their money in general, you can't really demand the money back, at least. Even more so the older you are, too.

On the flipside, taking money on the sly is just plain crappy, no disagreements there.

 

[briunj04]

Well, if a parent has to pay back their kids, then the kids should have to pay back their parents for loans. And considering it costs hundreds of thousands of dollars to raise a kid, that wouldn't be a very good deal. So no, parents shouldnt have to pay their kids back :3

 

[Biodeamon]

how many people here are parents? and how many parents voted no? see, you have to think from both sides both the kid and the parent to get this right.

what's the point on the kid having money if you just can take it?

 

[Woodscare]

It is not "Borrowing" if they do not return it