Poll: Should parents have to pay back their kids

[Cherry Cola]

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

A single unethical act does not make them bad parents. In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough. You can't say that a bad parent is someone who takes a little money form you and then doesn't pay back. That can very well be a good parent with a tiny little flaw. And you do realize that nobody is flawless, right?

 

[Flare Phoenix]

I think on principle, yes, parents should pay back their kids.

That said, it's not quite as simple as you make it sound. Yes, by having a child there is the implicit obligation to take care of it. But it's not a binary obligation. The parents can do the bare minimum required, or they can spend extra time and money on education, health, hobbies, etc.

So yeah, if my parents just phoned it in, so to speak, I'd want my money back. But if they were actually good parents, I'm not so sure I'd be complaining.

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

Because life is that simple, right?

Look, my parents put a lot into me, and they've paid me back every cent they've borrowed religiously. Still, if your parents are anything other than absolute dickwads, and you're still living off their money in general, you can't really demand the money back, at least. Even more so the older you are, too.



On the flipside, taking money on the sly is just plain crappy, no disagreements there.

Umm no... if a parent steals money from their own child, they immediately become a horrible and selfish parent - an "absolute dickwad" as you put it. How can anyone believe a parent should be entitled to their children's money, purely because they had to raise them? The parent decides what happens with their money; are you seriously trying to tell me the child shouldn't have that same basic right? The parent decides what to give their children and when. The child should have that same choice with THEIR OWN money.

 

[The Heik]

When someone borrows money, they pay the person back. If I borrow cash from my dad I have to at least give him change, but I try to back him back full.

Well recently I started cutting grass to have some extra cash and not have to rely on him all the time to do things like go to concerts, movies or baseball games.

Sometimes he wants to borrow cash so he doesn't have to go to the bank or ATM. I owe him for life basically and he'll write an IOU. He's very good at getting me my money, but if he's late I really don't mind.

My mom on the other hand, who is just a stay at home mom, will sometimes just take money from me and not tell me. Sometimes she just goes out of her way to avoid paying me back.

Sometimes I'll read topics on here where people will say "Their house, their rules" but does that apply in all situations.

TL;DR

If a parent borrows cash from their kid, should they pay them back?

Hell yes they should. Just because they raised you doesn't mean they can effectively break the law because of it. Anyways, you don't owe them a thing, they are simply paying off their debt to their parents by "ensuring that their genetic heritage continues on" aka giving grandchildren. The only thing you owe them is to try and do the same yourself.

As for your mother "borrowing" the money, I suggest you get a lock for whatever cash receptacle you have. Don't worry if that receptacle is small, there are some very tiny locks, and besides the point is to prevent so called "crimes of convenience". she can't borrow your money without either asking you explicitly or by breaking the lock, the latter of which you can call her out on.

 

[boag]

When someone borrows money, they pay the person back. If I borrow cash from my dad I have to at least give him change, but I try to back him back full.

Well recently I started cutting grass to have some extra cash and not have to rely on him all the time to do things like go to concerts, movies or baseball games.

Sometimes he wants to borrow cash so he doesn't have to go to the bank or ATM. I owe him for life basically and he'll write an IOU. He's very good at getting me my money, but if he's late I really don't mind.

My mom on the other hand, who is just a stay at home mom, will sometimes just take money from me and not tell me. Sometimes she just goes out of her way to avoid paying me back.

Sometimes I'll read topics on here where people will say "Their house, their rules" but does that apply in all situations.

TL;DR

If a parent borrows cash from their kid, should they pay them back?

What your mother is stealing not borrowing.

If its chump change I say let it pass, but tell her to please ask you before taking the money, or at least tell you she is going to take money.

If she is doing it to put food on the table, just let it go, if she is doing it to pay for her self pleasures, it might be time to tell your dad.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

If they were actually good parents, they wouldn't take money from their kids without asking...

A single unethical act does not make them bad parents. In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough. You can't say that a bad parent is someone who takes a little money form you and then doesn't pay back. That can very well be a good parent with a tiny little flaw. And you do realize that nobody is flawless, right?

I believe stealing from your kid makes you a bad parent. It's got nothing to do with flaws. Taking money from someone is a conscious decision, which you can control. It's not like raising your voice when you get angry or something that is difficult to control. Really by your logic, you're condoning physical or sexual abuse to a child because they are just a "single unethical act".

 

[wyrmslayer1991]

Of course they should. Raising you is a responsibility and investment they took on willingly. And not one that you should be expected to pay back. You were not given a choice to be their kid. It was entirely on them and they knew the risks and expenses before it happened. Your mom is stealing from you. Pure and simple. Everything you have from them they gave you of their own free will. You didn't take it without asking like your mother's doing.

I hate my mother though. So I'm probably a tad biased on this subject, but I would have kicked her in the nuts long ago if she'd been stealing from me. The biggest mistake I think parents make is never admitting that their kid is their own person, and not the parents personal *****. Your dad is treating you like an adult. Legitimately borrowing from you, writing iou's and actually paying you back. You're mother, on the other hand, is still treating you like her little *****, and probably always will.

Fuckin mothers >_<

 

[Sentox6]

Umm no... if a parent steals money from their own child, they immediately become a horrible and selfish parent - an "absolute dickwad" as you put it.

As someone else has aptly pointed out, one unethical act does not a horrible and selfish parent make. Especially in a world where parents sometimes sexually/physically/emotionally abuse their children in horrific ways. It's hardly shining behaviour, but neither is it enough to entirely condemn a parent.

The parent decides what happens with their money; are you seriously trying to tell me the child shouldn't have that same basic right?

Actually, on this point I'll take a stronger stance. No, the child should not have that right. Children's rights are overblown enough. What's important is that children are treated humanely, ideally in a loving environment. Aside from that, if someone is living under their parents' roof, on their parents' money, then they don't have an infinite set of rights.

If the child starts paying a mutually agreed amount of board or something similar, then that's another matter.

Really by your logic, you're condoning physical or sexual abuse to a child because they are just a "single unethical act".

In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough.

At least do people the courtesy of actually reading their posts.

 

[Dan Steele]

Yes, but only if they are stealing from you

 

[bakan]

snip

Actually, on this point I'll take a stronger stance. No, the child should not have that right. Children's rights are overblown enough. What's important is that children are treated humanely, ideally in a loving environment. Aside from that, if someone is living under their parents' roof, on their parents' money, then they don't have an infinite set of rights.

If the child starts paying a mutually agreed amount of board or something similar, then that's another matter.

A child cutting the grass, washing cars etc shouldn't have the right to use its money like it wants to and the parents have the right to do whatever they want as long the child lives with them without paying a part of the rent etc?
You actually wanna legalize child labour like this, nice one!

 

[Sentox6]

A child cutting the grass, washing cars etc shouldn't have the right to use its money like it wants to and the parents have the right to do whatever they want as long the child lives with them without paying a part of the rent etc?
You actually wanna legalize child labour like this, nice one!

Cheers bro!

P.S. 'Legalise' implies a current illegal status. I'd be interested in knowing where the law says parents can't take money a child has earned from untaxed income.

 

[bakan]

A child cutting the grass, washing cars etc shouldn't have the right to use its money like it wants to and the parents have the right to do whatever they want as long the child lives with them without paying a part of the rent etc?
You actually wanna legalize child labour like this, nice one!

Cheers bro!

P.S. 'Legalise' implies a current illegal status. I'd be interested in knowing where the law says parents can't take money a child has earned from untaxed income.

Child labour is illegal where I come from, don't know which third world country you come from - and child labour is even protected by the law that children are only legally allowed to earn a specific amount per month.
And parents who rip off their children of their own earned money are bad parents, end of the story.

 

[Flare Phoenix]

Umm no... if a parent steals money from their own child, they immediately become a horrible and selfish parent - an "absolute dickwad" as you put it.

As someone else has aptly pointed out, one unethical act does not a horrible and selfish parent make. Especially in a world where parents sometimes sexually/physically/emotionally abuse their children in horrific ways. It's hardly shining behaviour, but neither is it enough to entirely condemn a parent.

The parent decides what happens with their money; are you seriously trying to tell me the child shouldn't have that same basic right?

Actually, on this point I'll take a stronger stance. No, the child should not have that right. Children's rights are overblown enough. What's important is that children are treated humanely, ideally in a loving environment. Aside from that, if someone is living under their parents' roof, on their parents' money, then they don't have an infinite set of rights.

If the child starts paying a mutually agreed amount of board or something similar, then that's another matter.

Really by your logic, you're condoning physical or sexual abuse to a child because they are just a "single unethical act".

In fact, several unethical acts wouldn't make them bad parents, if they were harmless enough.

At least do people the courtesy of actually reading their posts.

I did read their post; I just disagreed with it. In my opinion, stealing from someone is just as wrong as physically, sexually or emotionally abusing them (but that's not the discussion here).

Why shouldn't the child have the choice with what to do with their money? What is the point of a child doing some sort of work to get a bit of money, just to have a parent go "thank you, I'll be taking that now". Please explain your logic to me, because right now it makes no sense.

A child has no say in whether or not they are bought into the world. It is the parent's decision, and it is the parent's responsibility. Yes, a child is bound by the rules set by their parents, but taking money from them without their permission is just plain wrong.

Board is a completely different matter, and as you said it needs to be MUTUALLY AGREED upon (to an extent). You live in your parent's house you follow your parent's rules, I completely agree with that. However, at no point should one of the rules be "I can take your stuff without asking and with no intent of ever giving it back".

Answer me this: would you like it if you came home one day and your parents had sold everything you owned because they felt you owed them for raising you?

 

[King Toasty]

It depends. If they can, maybe they should. But it is their house and you're just borrowing their food, sooo... Hmmmm. Tricky one.

 

[Cogwheel]

To an extent? Fine, I think, though your case seems a tad too far.

I have basically my entire income (97%, roughly, going by a quick calculation) claimed by my parents, though, and since they also take some slight rent every once in a while (if they're so inclined at the time), I'm nigh-incapable of moving out, though I guess that might just be a matter of not working hard enough. I go through an odd cycle of being slightly bitter about this, then feeling terrible about having any issue with the situation.

 

[bakan]

It depends. If they can, maybe they should. But it is their house and you're just borrowing their food, sooo... Hmmmm. Tricky one.

It isn't so tricky as its a parents responsibility to provide everything a child needs, otherwise they shouldn't have children if they have a problem with this

 

[Cherry Cola]

snip

It's kinda funny that "Harmless unethical act" turns into "Child abuse" and "Mutually agreed payment plan between parent and child" turns into "Child labour"

The charm of the internet.

 

[Khada]

The answer isn't black/white I'm afraid. You're mum is obviously disrespecting you by simply taking your money. Talk to her and tell her you're OK with it just that you want her to ask the same way she would want you to ask and go from there. Try not to let money ruin your relationship with your parents, money is pretty much evil-incarnate.

And no, you don't owe them for your life. They chose to have you, you had no say in the matter. Anyone who decided to have kids shoulders the responsibility for that child. If your not as sure as possible that you can do a good job raising that child, then don't f**king have it. Too many selfish A**holes who have kids because they want something to love or someone to love them without giving a second thought to how they will actually raise the child blablablablabla.

That said, you should obviously help out where needed so long as you live with them etc.

 

[Cheesus333]

It depends entirely on the amount of money. I don't borrow any money from my parents greater than the sum of one or two pounds at a time, usually just as change for the train fare. They never borrow (or, to my knowledge, take) money from me. If they needed to, I would let them, and knowing my parents they'd give it back. But if it was less than £10 or so I wouldn't really expect them to.

But it varies house-to-house, some familes are more informal and relaxed regarding finances than others.

 

[King Toasty]

It depends. If they can, maybe they should. But it is their house and you're just borrowing their food, sooo... Hmmmm. Tricky one.

It isn't so tricky as its a parents responsibility to provide everything a child needs, otherwise they shouldn't have children if they have a problem with this

But the kid doesn't need the $20 the parent borrowed. It's nowhere near necessary for survival. So... I don't really understand your point.

 

[LCP]

Your mother is not very good at teaching the value of honesty.