Poll: So, your a villain...

[SnakeoilSage]

Facing the Doctor is probably the coolest thing I can think of.

 

[octafish]

I choose the Doctor so that I can unleash my incredible RSC powers of overly thespy acting at him. No wait scratch that I think I'd be more Scorsby than Harrison Chase.

 

[Right Hook]

I went with Chuck Norris because he is a really old man with a bunch of stupid bullshit jokes made up about him, if he came after me, he'd probably break a hip and I would just shoot him in the face.

 

[RN7]

Standard superhero protagonist. That way when he and his motley band of allies have their special good-guy finding yourself thematic heroic monologue, I can have my stealthed assassins slit their throats and then feed their corpses to the transgenetic sloths.

 

[rednose1]

I pick Chuck Norris.

As an evil scientist, I'd find out how to re-animate the body of Bruce Lee. Once the procedure has been declared a success, all I would need to do is have him patrol around my Fortress of Evil as a personal Body Guard.

Chuck Norris would be defeated after any attempt to get near me.

... Oh, and the world would love me for bringing back Bruce Lee.

I'm starting to wonder if I'd still be considered a villain after this action.

I can find no fault at all with this, and would gladly pay monies to see it happen!

For all the "supposed" badass of Chuck Norris, still doesn't compare to Bruce Lee! He ran out of challengers on earth, so had to move on to the afterlife to kick ass.

 

[CrazyBlaze]

The Doctor. I would lure him into a place where I separate him from his companions and the TARDIS. I would then send the TARDIS into a sun. The Doctor would be trapped in a maze consisting of deadlocked, wooden doors on which his sonic screwdriver would not work. I would then send his companions back in time to wherever they came from. The Doctor would be forced to circle the mass, solving puzzle after puzzle for eternity or until he died from lack of food or water. There would be recycled air pumping through vents to small to fit in. Also this station would be separate from the one I was on and both would transfer through time at random intervals and to random places as long as the area was generally uninhabited.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Probably a Jedi. They create such a fuss over a few missing planets.

 

[Lunar Templar]

some loser Jedi would be mine, and they would fall before me.

why?

Jedi suck that's why -.-

bunch of emotionally repressed chumps

 

[Monkeyman O'Brien]

Any mortal. And I would deal with them Dresden Files style. With a high powered rifle at 1000 metres.
The first my enemy would know of my intentions would be a few seconds after it travels through their chest and explodes out their back taking their lungs with it.

That or a hot super chick and I would be known as the Pervinator. I would use my high tech equipment to spy on her in the shower and launch daring raids to steal her dirty underwear!

 

[Fijiman]

I picked Chuck Norris, who will not be able to defeat my army of super zombie Bruce Lees. Also, good villain strategy is to never give your enemy time to think of a plan to defeat you and always stay to make sure that your enemy is dead instead of assuming that they're going to sit still and die.

 

[Redlin5_v1legacy]

SNIP

You caught me on the rare occasion where I will make that one comment. You know, the "It's you're not your!" comment. I do so not in the spirit of feeling superior by flouting a (nonexistent) mastery of all things English but merely as a friendly prod.

[sub][sub]I actually think this is the first time I've done this.[/sub][/sub]

Anyway.

OT: I would have Chuck Norris after me. If he is the hero I think he is[footnote]That being a mortal human who can't survive alert troops armed with grenade launchers and these [http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Atchisson_Assault_Shotgun] on open ground.[/footnote] then I would gladly choose him over Superman, the Doctor or a Jedi knight. Also it would be great to prove the internet wrong about his godliness.

And, on the off chance he can survive 30 armed gunmen at once... Well, at least I can anticipate him ending my life fast.

 

[Holyeskimo]

I remove all the self destruct buttons.
*Reads Op
The above still stands, i pick chuck norris, then i burn his beard to a thousand hairy bits, because with his beard he lacks his powers, at which point i determine a plan to kill the man who could probably murder me eight different ways to sunday with one limb..... wait why the frak am i doing this again?

 

[claymoreguy18]

Why is Batman not on this list?

 

[Scarim Coral]

I'm tempting to say the Doctor seeing how I believe the Timelord emit some sort of time manipulation powers as I had lost count the amount of villians who just stand there and let the Doctor talks and fiddle with some stuff. How hard is it to take actions like shooting when he just talking?

Anyway I'm going to choose the standard superhero protagonist since I will be my own supervillain with powers. I rather be unquie than to be a copy of something and that goes the same to the superhero.

 

[Wackymon]

Alright, the Doctors Winning.

Why is Batman not on this list?

I FORGOT BATMAN! MUST ADD BATMAN!
AAAA
AAAAAAA
AAAAA
-This user has crashed-
Anyway, lets see what else:

I picked superman. Any idiot supervillain seems to be able to get their hands on kryptonite, and I'm definitely an idiot supervillain.

I wear kryptonite all over my body. Depending on how toxic it is, I might even get it injected into my veins. If human flesh doesn't stop kryptonite from hurting superman (i.e. if hiding behind a human wouldn't stop the kryptonite getting to him, in the hypothetical scenario where he would ever use a human shield) then I'll have a great big chunk embedded in where my appendix is now. I'll be like, Kryptonite-man. I will be all over that stuff.

Once Superman is neutralised... well, I don't want to kill him, because he's really good at protecting the Earth from bad guys other than me - if Darkseid turns up and Superman isn't still around, I'm even more boned than I'd be if I'd chosen Chuck Norris as my nemesis. So I'll just keep him secured in a dungeon, in about as much comfort as can be arranged while keeping him weak enough to not break out.

Besides the "everyone has kryptonite" angle, having Superman as my nemesis is a pretty good gig because he's going to try and save my life no matter what my evil plan was that he just thwarted (if he does thwart it).

This sounds pretty good.

Any mortal. And I would deal with them Dresden Files style. With a high powered rifle at 1000 metres.
The first my enemy would know of my intentions would be a few seconds after it travels through their chest and explodes out their back taking their lungs with it.

That or a hot super chick and I would be known as the Pervinator. I would use my high tech equipment to spy on her in the shower and launch daring raids to steal her dirty underwear!

"Pervinator?" anyway, "The first my enemy?" I think you mean "The first of my."

For real it would be the Doctor. I'd be the Brains from Futurama, mercilessly trying to collect every last bit of knowledge in the universe and the doctor, being the last Time Lord, would be my ultimate prize. I'd spend the whole season trying to manipulate him from the shadows, only revealing my identity for the finale. But then at the last minute i'd have found a way to work myself into a replaceable part of the universal timeline, so that killing me would cause irreparable damage to reality. Then I'd become like the Daleks were in the original run, the standby villain who pops in every few episodes with a new outlandish scheme to enslave humanity. For shits and giggles.

But if I was going for lawls, i'd pick Superman. Just so I could corner him with my hunting rifle and have the following dialogue:

Me: Looks like this is the of the road Soups
Superman: Please DVS, You know buckshot can't hurt me
I SWITCHED

TO KRYPTONIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIITE!

*Claps* That is the most entertaining one of them all.

The Doctor. I would lure him into a place where I separate him from his companions and the TARDIS. I would then send the TARDIS into a sun. The Doctor would be trapped in a maze consisting of deadlocked, wooden doors on which his sonic screwdriver would not work. I would then send his companions back in time to wherever they came from. The Doctor would be forced to circle the mass, solving puzzle after puzzle for eternity or until he died from lack of food or water. There would be recycled air pumping through vents to small to fit in. Also this station would be separate from the one I was on and both would transfer through time at random intervals and to random places as long as the area was generally uninhabited.

Good idea.
I now know how to defeat everyone.

Spoiler: hehehe

MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

 

[kouriichi]

I would have to choose.... Wonder Woman.
Because we all know shes secretly a freak who will sleep with anyone who knows her weakness.

If not her.... Then Batman. As far as heroes go, hes a pretty lame one if he lets every baddie he ever fought escape for jail once a week, to kill, torture maim and destroy Gotham city. Just say you surrender and he wont lay a finger on you.

 

[Yopaz]

Batman. When he gets to me he wont kill me and I'll be free to get out and do it again. Also Batman is cool.

 

[Bloodtrozorx]

I chose Batman because by default I get to be a wacky crazy super villain with a complex.

The Riddler, The Joker, Two Face, Mr. Freeze, The Mad Hatter and me. Love it.

 

[MetalMagpie]

But you have to choose a foe (Que poll), and come up with a way to counter their attempts to defeat them.

You would be my foe. Since you are attempting to defeat me through the use of twitch-inducing typos (both in the thread title and poll question, you devious thing), I would counter your efforts by burying my head in a dictionary and singing grammar songs to myself. *twitch*

Joke. It would be The Doctor, and I'd distract him with a pretty lady.

 

[Wackymon]

But you have to choose a foe (Que poll), and come up with a way to counter their attempts to defeat them.

You would be my foe. Since you are attempting to defeat me through the use of twitch-inducing typos (both in the thread title and poll question, you devious thing), I would counter your efforts by burying my head in a dictionary and singing grammar songs to myself. *twitch*

Joke. It would be The Doctor, and I'd distract him with a pretty lady.

I am your foe?
You were saying?