Poll: Stalking.

[Vohn_exel]

afterall I do know where he lives.

Aww, you've got it so easy! I don't know anything about... I was going to say "my target" then. That would be wrong, and bad.

I'm going to sleep now. Hope it works out for you, DB.

If it makes you feel better thats all I know about his whereabouts, and thanks.

I didn't vote in the poll, but I just wanted to say from second hand experience that the person you stalk is never the person that you're stalking. Or, to make it slightly more clear, the person that you think you're stalking isn't anything like the person that you end up meeting. You end up making up a complete person that doesn't exist, and when you find out, you're heart broken. You'll ruin any chance of friendship that you had, and some people go even further.

I don't think you're the type to go further then heartbreak, but I would spare you that if I could. My friend (and really my friend, not the "my friend is spiderman" type friend) from highschool had a crush on this girl. Everyday he'd practically dissolve my ears crying about the cruelties of life that kept them apart and how his life was meaningless without her, ect. He had dreams about entire lives with her, thought about her every waking moment, and was really jealous that I saw her with only a bra on once. It was kind of like a Shakespeare play but with only one actor and rather boring. Eventually he went up and spoke with her and found out that she wasn't anything like he thought she would be. He then spent the REST of highschool telling me about that and how much it sucked. I was never so glad that he got married, lol.

But my point is, you can spare yourself alot of pain and heartache now if you just go and talk to the person. I can tell you from first hand experience that sitting around and waiting will do nothing. I liked this girl from my church and spent most of my days doing what you are now, and I actually might have had a shot with her...but she moved away. So, take a chance now, and save yourself some heartbreak in the end. You never know, you just mind find out that you were made for each other.

Its difficult for me to go up and talk to him, I mean even if I didn't suffer from anxiety problems I don't know where he goes to school and I don't how to get a hold of him or friends.

I'm trying to be cautious about not developing a crush and making him into this ideal perfect person for me because I did that once before with a good friend and it was all kinds of crazy obsessive and ended pretty badly for me.

I'm kind of just hoping he's straight so I can just forget all of this before I get too involved.

Ah yeah, you might want to check on that because he might beat you up or something if he's not. I mean I'm sure he wouldn't, but then again you can't be sure he wouldn't. I'd say go ahead and go down to that festival just because it sounds like fun breaking into a festival. Go talk to him and find out what he's like, and then go forward from there. If things go good, you can get his number and work it out from there. But anticipation and "what if" will cause you more heartache in the end.

I'm pretty sure he is bi but I'm not fully sure, but I doubt he's the type to beat me up because of that. And I have always wanted to break into a festival. But I've been in far too mant what if situations for my age already and Ii'm starting to get tired of it, I just lack confidence to jump into things like this, I also suffer from anxiety issues so that doesn't make the whole thing easier.

Confidence is my problem too. I can go and talk to just about any girl that I want to, and have a good long conversation. I can usually pick out what she's like, what she'll respond to well, and other things. However, when it comes to getting my feet wet, so to speak, I run for dry ground. I've never had the confidence to go further then talking with a girl, and because of that I've been left with alot of what ifs.

I'm a coward, always have been, probably always will be. I say that you should just hold your nose and dive in, and see where it leads. You never know what might happen, but you know what might never happen. Man, exhaustion brings out my Confucius side.

 

[Sougo]

Being that this is the internet and none of you know who I am and because I have no friends at all I've come to you for some.. something.

Recently I've been kind of obsessed over this guy I know and its gotten a little crazy for me. We've been at school together for something like 14 years and recently he moved and I dropped out for awhile so we don't see each other. We never really talked often but when we did it was always fun and he was always nice.. anyway, the point I'm getting to is that lately I've been having a really strong urge to stalk him. I never really found myself the stalker type, its always been a little desperate for my tastes but here I am.

I know he's going to be at a local festival soon and I keep fantasising about him and going and seeing him, and stuff. Now this would be incredibly crazy to just go and break into a festival just to see him on the off chance he even likes me, in anyway at all.

So, preferably, I want you all to tell me to be a man and stop being crazy or at least link me some kind of anti stalker electrocution band for myself or something, I don't really know. Escapists give me your shamdazzling insight, am I insane?

um ... what exactly were you doing in school for 14 years? Doesn't school end after 12 years? And aren't primary and high schools different? and after 14 years you dropped out? Don't you mean graduated?

So you're a guy. With a strong urge to stalk another guy? Interesting...
Dude, why don't you go pick a couple of fights with a few punks on the street. Nothing like a little pugilistic action to knock some sense into you and get that testosterone flowing again. Just remember, no 'sack-tapping.'

Next thing get yourself a girlfriend. Or a girl friend. (note difference b/w the two).

Act like a human, give your boy-friend a ring, chat with him (most of the time thats all you need when your lonely). Don't chase after his time-table.

If your feeling 'sexual' desires towards this fellow, consult a local priest (at own risk).

14 years was a rough guess, too lazy to do math. Its something like that though when you cant primary school and high school and then college. And no I dropped out to restart the year as I had health issues.

The whole FIGHT BECAUSE I AM A MAYUN AND MEN LOVE TO FIGHT thing isn't really me. Besides I'd get my ass kicked incredibly.

But why would I visit a priest?

um, by visiting a 'priest' I actually meant someone who'll help you confirm your orientation, I suppose. So I suppose your parents may be a better option.
Also I must say I'm against homosexuality (I still think its unnatural). Don't blast me for it, its my point of view, and I'm not really the type who'll go around lynching people, unless some guy tried making sexual advances towards me...

Also I'm not literally suggesting you go around beating up people. I'm saying do activities that'll both take your mind off your loneliness and get you engaged in stuff you'll enjoy. Also theres a high chance of making friends in your neighbourhood like this.

School friends come and go, if you had one for 14 years, relish the times you had and move on. If you don't wanna move on, face him head on, don't sneak around his back. That will never end well.

 

[ace_of_something]

I don't think that is the legal definition of stalking. Though it's definitly in the neighborhood. It's agressive, controlling, and not cool.
You could... oh, I don't know... CALL HIM!?

Would you happen to have his number? Because I sure don't.

Surely there is some way you know he's in town and at this festival or whatever. Mutual friend? Have that friend set it up where you all hang outie. Facebook or something? Send him a message.
This is the commuication age... or computer age or something.

 

[AMMO Kid]

This reminds me of a story similar to mine. Except I'm the guy in the senario...


wait...

 

[Johanthemonster666]

Being that this is the internet and none of you know who I am and because I have no friends at all I've come to you for some.. something.

Recently I've been kind of obsessed over this guy I know and its gotten a little crazy for me. We've been at school together for something like 14 years and recently he moved and I dropped out for awhile so we don't see each other. We never really talked often but when we did it was always fun and he was always nice.. anyway, the point I'm getting to is that lately I've been having a really strong urge to stalk him. I never really found myself the stalker type, its always been a little desperate for my tastes but here I am.

I know he's going to be at a local festival soon and I keep fantasising about him and going and seeing him, and stuff. Now this would be incredibly crazy to just go and break into a festival just to see him on the off chance he even likes me, in anyway at all.

So, preferably, I want you all to tell me to be a man and stop being crazy or at least link me some kind of anti stalker electrocution band for myself or something, I don't really know. Escapists give me your shamdazzling insight, am I insane?

um ... what exactly were you doing in school for 14 years? Doesn't school end after 12 years? And aren't primary and high schools different? and after 14 years you dropped out? Don't you mean graduated?

So you're a guy. With a strong urge to stalk another guy? Interesting...
Dude, why don't you go pick a couple of fights with a few punks on the street. Nothing like a little pugilistic action to knock some sense into you and get that testosterone flowing again. Just remember, no 'sack-tapping.'

Next thing get yourself a girlfriend. Or a girl friend. (note difference b/w the two).

Act like a human, give your boy-friend a ring, chat with him (most of the time thats all you need when your lonely). Don't chase after his time-table.

If your feeling 'sexual' desires towards this fellow, consult a local priest (at own risk).

14 years was a rough guess, too lazy to do math. Its something like that though when you cant primary school and high school and then college. And no I dropped out to restart the year as I had health issues.

The whole FIGHT BECAUSE I AM A MAYUN AND MEN LOVE TO FIGHT thing isn't really me. Besides I'd get my ass kicked incredibly.

But why would I visit a priest?

um, by visiting a 'priest' I actually meant someone who'll help you confirm your orientation, I suppose. So I suppose your parents may be a better option.
Also I must say I'm against homosexuality (I still think its unnatural). Don't blast me for it, its my point of view, and I'm not really the type who'll go around lynching people, unless some guy tried making sexual advances towards me...

Also I'm not literally suggesting you go around beating up people. I'm saying do activities that'll both take your mind off your loneliness and get you engaged in stuff you'll enjoy. Also theres a high chance of making friends in your neighbourhood like this.

School friends come and go, if you had one for 14 years, relish the times you had and move on. If you don't wanna move on, face him head on, don't sneak around his back. That will never end well.

Dude, it's not your place to judge the OP based on his sexual orienation.

This question had little to do with "Who" he likes then it does what he should do.

I can't be kind about this, I've heard it too many times to tolerate.

 

[cerebus23]

um, by visiting a 'priest' I actually meant someone who'll help you confirm your orientation, I suppose. So I suppose your parents may be a better option.
Also I must say I'm against homosexuality (I still think its unnatural). Don't blast me for it, its my point of view, and I'm not really the type who'll go around lynching people, unless some guy tried making sexual advances towards me...

Also I'm not literally suggesting you go around beating up people. I'm saying do activities that'll both take your mind off your loneliness and get you engaged in stuff you'll enjoy. Also theres a high chance of making friends in your neighbourhood like this.

School friends come and go, if you had one for 14 years, relish the times you had and move on. If you don't wanna move on, face him head on, don't sneak around his back. That will never end well.

really if hes 18 to 22 years old i think he has his orientation figured out, without the help of a priest. gods i knew by kindergarden i liked girls that i liked holding hands with girls and i liked kissing girls. some people are just wired different period. if it helps you can pretend he is a she and just leave the whole priest i dont approve yadda yadda out.

but kudos for lest trying to be civil sounding even with the disapproval mixed in.

only thing his sexual orientation has to do with the topic at all is the person he interested in of similar inclinations, and their possible reaction. but is wholly secondary to the should i be stalking someone ever proposition.

 

[QuickDEMOL1SHER]

Wow. I had a whole thing typed out about how a guy would probably like a girl stalking him.
Nevermind.

 

[NickCaligo42]

You could always... you know... call him? Say "Hey, you want to hang out some time?"

 

[Jfswift]

Maybe tell him how you feel? Otherwise i'd suggest cutting all forms of contact with him if you want to prevent yourself from stalking him.

 

[Chase Yojimbo]

You just suffer what every girl suffers when they find a man that they absolutely adore. Advice? try not to stalk him, approach him at a more Social Convenience than anything, stalking will merely drive him away, thus making the situation worse, leading to either Suicide, or Death. That is what stalking is, a fascination with someone to the limits where you think they can't live without you or you can't live without them, false illusions that drive you down a dark road. However this is worst case scenario. As a great general once said however, "Plan for the Best, Prepare for the Worst."

Remember, social conveniences only, otherwise you lose everything.

EDIT: Also, ignore the Poll. Truthfully you are just faced with an everyday problem, thus you are not insane, just a normal person with normal problems...

 

[Yureina]

Yeah... don't do that. Its weird and usually won't get you where you want to be.

 

[RatRace123]

I'd try to get over it, one person is not worth the trouble, unless that person is some kind of magic genie that gives out free cake and escalades. Hmm, now I'm hungry for cake.

 

[slowpoke999]

You're a guy, the best thing to do is to outright ask whether he likes you back, you get the most respect that way. I sure as hell wouldn't like if someone was hanging around me just because they wanted to do me when I thought it was because they wanted to be my friend, I'd say they have 0% chance and we can either be friends or they can just move on if they don't want to be friend zoned.

Oh Btw I'm a guy and was talking about other guys, girls can be in whatever zone they want with me.

 

[AgDr_ODST]

I think you are abit nutty. but if you know he's gonna be at the festival just go up to him and start talking as apposed to stalking him

 

[sumanoskae]

Consider you might just be obsessed with who you THINK he is. I would recommend one of two things

1) just trying to be his friend first(especially if you know he's not gay), and not confessing right away, that might create alienation and if you never get to know him you will always wonder if it could have been

2) very calmly approach him and tell him you might have feelings for him but realize he probably doesn't feel the same, ask him if you two can just hang out and get to know one and other

Either way, you can't just let this sit, it may very well fester and torture you for your entire life, on your death bed, you will look back and regret never finding out what could have been. Not to mention it will only get worse, feelings intensify when they build up, if you think you're obsessed now, wait a few months and see what happens. This is especially true because this sounds like affection for who you think this person is, your imagination will continue to build the fantasy, most likely because, from what I've heard so far, you're lonely

P.S: Do you at least know if the person is homosexual?
P.P.S: Are you openly gay or bi?, if this is your first homosexual fantasy it might be a self discovery kind of thing

 

[superbatranger]

There is no need to stalk him. Just be honest about your feelings and tell him under normal circumstances. Stalking never ends well.

 

[Glademaster_v1legacy]

Just remember when you go stalking you never get to do what you want to do so it isn't that fun.

 

[Sougo]

Being that this is the internet and none of you know who I am and because I have no friends at all I've come to you for some.. something.

Recently I've been kind of obsessed over this guy I know and its gotten a little crazy for me. We've been at school together for something like 14 years and recently he moved and I dropped out for awhile so we don't see each other. We never really talked often but when we did it was always fun and he was always nice.. anyway, the point I'm getting to is that lately I've been having a really strong urge to stalk him. I never really found myself the stalker type, its always been a little desperate for my tastes but here I am.

I know he's going to be at a local festival soon and I keep fantasising about him and going and seeing him, and stuff. Now this would be incredibly crazy to just go and break into a festival just to see him on the off chance he even likes me, in anyway at all.

So, preferably, I want you all to tell me to be a man and stop being crazy or at least link me some kind of anti stalker electrocution band for myself or something, I don't really know. Escapists give me your shamdazzling insight, am I insane?

um ... what exactly were you doing in school for 14 years? Doesn't school end after 12 years? And aren't primary and high schools different? and after 14 years you dropped out? Don't you mean graduated?

So you're a guy. With a strong urge to stalk another guy? Interesting...
Dude, why don't you go pick a couple of fights with a few punks on the street. Nothing like a little pugilistic action to knock some sense into you and get that testosterone flowing again. Just remember, no 'sack-tapping.'

Next thing get yourself a girlfriend. Or a girl friend. (note difference b/w the two).

Act like a human, give your boy-friend a ring, chat with him (most of the time thats all you need when your lonely). Don't chase after his time-table.

If your feeling 'sexual' desires towards this fellow, consult a local priest (at own risk).

14 years was a rough guess, too lazy to do math. Its something like that though when you cant primary school and high school and then college. And no I dropped out to restart the year as I had health issues.

The whole FIGHT BECAUSE I AM A MAYUN AND MEN LOVE TO FIGHT thing isn't really me. Besides I'd get my ass kicked incredibly.

But why would I visit a priest?

um, by visiting a 'priest' I actually meant someone who'll help you confirm your orientation, I suppose. So I suppose your parents may be a better option.
Also I must say I'm against homosexuality (I still think its unnatural). Don't blast me for it, its my point of view, and I'm not really the type who'll go around lynching people, unless some guy tried making sexual advances towards me...

Also I'm not literally suggesting you go around beating up people. I'm saying do activities that'll both take your mind off your loneliness and get you engaged in stuff you'll enjoy. Also theres a high chance of making friends in your neighbourhood like this.

School friends come and go, if you had one for 14 years, relish the times you had and move on. If you don't wanna move on, face him head on, don't sneak around his back. That will never end well.

Dude, it's not your place to judge the OP based on his sexual orienation.

This question had little to do with "Who" he likes then it does what he should do.

I can't be kind about this, I've heard it too many times to tolerate.

Dude, I'm not 'judging' the OP at all. I'm giving him genuine advise while informing him of what my point-of-view is so that he knows there are probably better people who may understand his situation better.

I'm also not questioning 'Who' he likes. Neither am I suggesting that he change himself in any way. The only recommendations I gave him were alternatives to 'stalking' someone, and its a well known fact that stalking just creeps people out and doesn't help establish relationships.

Just because I shared a little of my point-of-view doesn't automatically mean I'm condemning him.

 

[ultrachicken]

Maybe you should just call him up and invite him to dinner or the movies, or whatever you'd want to do. Mind you, don't make it seem like a date or anything or you might scare him off.
I hope you realize that stalking will only make him scared of you, right?

Or, you could grow a pair and find someone else.

 

[asinann]

If you have to ask, what you're doing or thinking of doing is wrong.