Poll: The 'Real' Man Debate

Recommended Videos

JdaS

New member
Oct 16, 2009
712
0
0
That's just a bunch of old, outdated alpha macho concepts. Your mom is the one with a problem (no offense).

You're free to shave, dye, straighten, curl, tattoo, pierce and do whatever the fuck you want to your own body. How much of a man you are depends on your actions.
 

chinangel

New member
Sep 25, 2009
1,680
0
0
Hyena Slade said:
Recently I have been in a debate with family and friends over how men should/shouldn't act/dress. This mainly started with my family when I started dying/straitening my hair and focusing more on my appearance. Now the official debate started when my mom found out (through conversations) I wore eyeliner and shaved most of my body hair. She started saying how 'real' men shouldn't shave and should not wear make-up.

So I suppose my question is, do 'real' men care about their looks, or do they not? What are your thoughts and opinions on this?
eh...As a transgirl I'm likely not in much of a position to answer this without being biased. This said, outside of finding men who wear makeup kinda hot, I do think that you're mom is speaking with the voice of a different generation.

This whole 'real man' thing is about as confusing and diluted as 'real woman'. In the end, there is no such thing as a 'real man' or a 'real woman', because in order for one or the other to exist, there must also be a 'fake man' or 'fake woman'.

We are who we are, and our generation is far more accepting of thing that, even 20 years ago, were socially unacceptable.

So I guess the question is more for you: do you think you're a real man or not? And is the opinion of someone who's values stem from the seventies (no offense to your mother intended) really the opinion you're going to worry yourself with. You can't really live with the opinion and values of 30 or 40 years past, you have to live with your generation and your own values and opinions.

That's all hun.
 

Calibanbutcher

Elite Member
Nov 29, 2009
1,701
8
43
chinangel said:
Hyena Slade said:

This whole 'real man' thing is about as confusing and diluted as 'real woman'. In the end, there is no such thing as a 'real man' or a 'real woman', because in order for one or the other to exist, there must also be a 'fake man' or 'fake woman'.

snip

That's all hun.

I present to you:



I rest my case
 

SpectacularWebHead

New member
Jun 11, 2012
1,174
0
0
If you want to find out what a real man is, Look back to the days of yore, when men were manly men, and women were also men.

Nah, I think a real man is just someone who has a penis but hasn't had a sex change.
 

The Artificially Prolonged

Random Semi-Frequent Poster
Jul 15, 2008
2,753
0
0
As my own general rule if it takes a man more than half an hour to go from shower to ready there is a problem. I tend to shave every couple of days, shower daily and use some wax to tidy my hair up.
 

quantumsoul

New member
Jun 10, 2010
319
0
0
Look, there's no male right of passage in our culture. No one is going to give you your man card.
With so many different views on what a man should be, there's no true source of external validation.

Being a real has to come from within. Are you comfortable with who you are? Do you stay true to your own values? I think those are just a couple ways to be a "real" man in modern society. Not if you wax your balls or not.

Now as to what is culturally acceptable is another story all together, and weather that matters to you or not is not for anyone else to decide.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,855
15
43
JdaS said:
That's just a bunch of old, outdated alpha macho concepts. Your mom is the one with a problem (no offense).

You're free to shave, dye, straighten, curl, tattoo, pierce and do whatever the fuck you want to your own body. How much of a man you are depends on your actions.
I agree...and also find your avatar in this context pretty funny
 

C F

New member
Jan 10, 2012
772
0
0
I see a lot of people denouncing the idea of a "real man" based on outward presentation, implying or outright calling it shallow or sexist. That's all well and good folks, just remember: outward presentation gives everyone you meet their first impression of you, and about 70% of those people their only impression of you. This doesn't mean anything unless you care what people think of you (and if you're wearing makeup, I find that you either do care, or have some sort of doubt or insecurity about it, otherwise this discussion wouldn't exist).
We don't live in that ideal world where everybody is judged by their character, personality, and action, because hardly anyone knows each other that well, and more than half the time (I cited 70%, vague and approximated statistics ahahah) they really don't bother to. It's not my intention to actively denounce the idea that you're allowed to wear whatever you want; if you feel you must, go right ahead. You have that choice. Just remember that if you wear skinny jeans, eyeliner, and other forms of typically effeminate apparel in public, people may (and are just as justified to) judge you accordingly. You are equally justified in disregarding them and doing whatever you want. And they... Well, it's cyclical.

Societal stereotypes would have us believe that a "real man" has a gruff and buff appearance, has a chiseled masculine jaw sporting powerful, definite, and well groomed facial hair, is self-confident, competent in many fields of labor and is capable of supporting not just himself, but an entire family, has a gentlemanly demeanor and a charismatic charm about him, is drop-dead stunning to the lady folk, can rock climb with nothing but his chin, wears Old Spice deodorant, is swift as the coursing river, and is probably Saxton Hale.

Yeah, you're probably not going to fit that ludicrously demanding bill (unless you're Saxton Hale, in which case welcome!). It is unrealistic just as much at it is amusing as all else. Just do what you're comfortable doing, whether it's being that manly man or not.

As for that balance between being naturally manly and caring about your appearance, I find that so long as you're keeping yourself groomed and you don't typically spend too much time pursuing some vain standard of appearance that you obviously don't have naturally, you're good, man.
I still don't get why you'd want to shave your body hair or wear any sort of makeup, but that's just me and my awesome follicles talking.

Owyn_Merrilin said:
Speaking of manliness, I learned today that there was a Roman politician named M. Manlius Capitolinus, which is officially the best name for a politician ever.
Best. Roman Politician. Ever.
Well, probably not, so let me rephrase that.
Best. Roman Politician. We have on record.

Captcha: king arthur
Now there's a man fit for kingship.
 

Vault101

I'm in your mind fuzz
Sep 26, 2010
18,855
15
43
thahat said:
OT : dont wear makup. your a guy ffs. not some gay/fake tv underwear model.
but how a man should act.. is all up to him. dont care bout your looks care about your looks. its all the same. as long as you are confident and smell nice ( oke, and dont look like a TOTAL hobo ) you'l do fine.
( nothing against gays here but it gets the point across )
you just kind of contradicted yourself there....it seems the OP likes wearing make-up and doing whatever he wants with his appearance...if thats what he wants then he shouldn't stop it to satisfy other peoples Ideas as to what he should or should not be (which you essentially demonstrated there)
 

Flames66

New member
Aug 22, 2009
2,310
0
0
A "real man" should have the courage of his own convictions. Decide how you want to look and stick with it.
 

barbzilla

He who speaks words from mouth!
Dec 6, 2010
1,465
0
0
Daystar Clarion said:
No man can comfortably wear skinny fitting jeans.

It's just not possible :D
Whenever I see a man in skinny jeans I think they took the saying "get in her pants" a bit too seriously.

OT: I think it is a bit of both. If you are seeking companionship you defiantly need to be aware of your looks. At the same time if you go overboard with it you end up losing some of your rugged look. So it depends on what you are going for. I honestly think go with whatever you feel comfortable doing. If you want to shave your chest and pluck your eyebrows go for it. I pluck my eyebrows and take care of my hair personally. On special occasions when I take my lady out for a special night I go as far as using a matte finish on my face to make myself look less oily.
 

Angie7F

WiseGurl
Nov 11, 2011
1,703
0
0
I just think real guys look like real guys no matter what you make them do.
Geeks will be geeks and fags will be fags. (No offense to the gay population.)

Lie in the movie birdcage. You cant mask who you are.

So, wear make up if you want to.
Its a big think in Korea right now, as well as Japan for men to wear stuff to even out their skin tone or make their eye brows more tame.

Sure is better than men that look like they dont give a f@@k.

I think the problem here is not about what you do, but what your actions may imply.
I just think your mom is scared that you are soon going to come out as being gay and she cant accept it.
 

JdaS

New member
Oct 16, 2009
712
0
0
Vault101 said:
JdaS said:
That's just a bunch of old, outdated alpha macho concepts. Your mom is the one with a problem (no offense).

You're free to shave, dye, straighten, curl, tattoo, pierce and do whatever the fuck you want to your own body. How much of a man you are depends on your actions.
I agree...and also find your avatar in this context pretty funny
How come? I might be a complete idiot because that one flew clear over my head. :D
 

Space Spoons

New member
Aug 21, 2008
3,334
0
0
A "real man" dresses how he likes, regardless of what close-minded individuals around him may think. Why shouldn't a grown man be able to wear whatever he wants?
 

EclipseoftheDarkSun

New member
Sep 11, 2009
230
0
0
Space Spoons said:
A "real man" dresses how he likes, regardless of what close-minded individuals around him may think. Why shouldn't a grown man be able to wear whatever he wants?
I guess an avatar of a muscular male with short hair and tatts looks kind of macho and traditional?
 

Veldt Falsetto

New member
Dec 26, 2009
1,458
0
0
omega 616 said:
I guess when people say real men they mean "lets take a trip back to the 60's". I know this is as worn out as 200 year old carpet but would Chuck Norris use hair straighteners? Would he wear eye liner?

I guess that's what she is driving at, your meant to be working out, getting drunk, belching, scratching your nuts in public, making a mess blah blah blah. Just do what you want to, except hurt people ... that's not cool.
Honestly...if that's what being a real man is like, I'm glad I'm not one of them!
 

Ickorus

New member
Mar 9, 2009
2,886
0
0
Do you have a penis? Yes?

You're a real man then.

Simple.

Not to say I'm a fan of men wearing eyeliner and shaving their bodies hairless but honestly, if you want to do it, go ahead; I'll think you look silly but I'm not going to stop you if you like it.