My first thought was Khorne, because if you're really good and don't fuck up you get to become an immortal daemon, and apart from that all the choices that I know anything about (know nothing about options 1, 2) are pretty bad and have a life expectancy of about a week. Assuming it takes a week to get to the frontline.
But then I thought back to what I thought about the last time I saw the Lord Of The Rings films - on one occasion, a protagonist (don't remember which) jumped into the midst of a bunch of pikemen, who had the pikes pointed up, and none of them bothered or were clever enough to impale him, despite the fact that it would take no effort and should probably happen accidentally anyway. And then later, when Gandalf arrives? He leads a cavalry charge into a mass of pikemen. What magic does he use to make this suicidal tactic not suicide? Light. He makes a bright light, that blinds the orcs.
I was like "Jesus Christ, guys, you have eyelids! And helmets with visors! You don't need to aim a pike, a cavalry charge is a wall of meat!"
So yeah, I'd join Sauron's army, and rise through the ranks because of my superior leadership. I should get to a decent position just for the "put the pikes in the enemy" idea. Assuming the numbers are adjusted enough to balance things out (otherwise combine vs the rest of the list would just be unfair), I should end up as fief of Western Europe.
Although of course, there are plenty of better "other" options that are better. But it's kind of cheating to go with that, since you could pick any evil army from any fiction. Still, there's an "other" option, so I'll think about what "other" I would pick...
It depends on how much you can stretch "Evil" really. The Q continuum are sometimes antagonists, and are morally grey since they occasionally kill people. And fight civil wars which blow up suns as a side-effect. If that's enough that I can pick the Q, then you can call me Q. No, not the one played by John de Lancie, that's Q. Completely different Q. It stands for Q. Yes, both of them stand for Q. Do I have to spell it out for you? It shouldn't take that long: Q. Q.
Failing that, the Aeon Illuminate are (in my view) the darkest gray of the gray/gray/gray 3-way war in Supreme Commander, and joining their army would be pretty boss. If you disagree, and think the UEF are the bad guys, that's even better, since then I don't have to adopt an alien religion.
If they're not evil enough either, I pick the Brotherhood Of Mutants if doing so gives me powers, and if it doesn't, I'll join the Britannian Empire from Code Geass.
But then I thought back to what I thought about the last time I saw the Lord Of The Rings films - on one occasion, a protagonist (don't remember which) jumped into the midst of a bunch of pikemen, who had the pikes pointed up, and none of them bothered or were clever enough to impale him, despite the fact that it would take no effort and should probably happen accidentally anyway. And then later, when Gandalf arrives? He leads a cavalry charge into a mass of pikemen. What magic does he use to make this suicidal tactic not suicide? Light. He makes a bright light, that blinds the orcs.
I was like "Jesus Christ, guys, you have eyelids! And helmets with visors! You don't need to aim a pike, a cavalry charge is a wall of meat!"
So yeah, I'd join Sauron's army, and rise through the ranks because of my superior leadership. I should get to a decent position just for the "put the pikes in the enemy" idea. Assuming the numbers are adjusted enough to balance things out (otherwise combine vs the rest of the list would just be unfair), I should end up as fief of Western Europe.
Although of course, there are plenty of better "other" options that are better. But it's kind of cheating to go with that, since you could pick any evil army from any fiction. Still, there's an "other" option, so I'll think about what "other" I would pick...
It depends on how much you can stretch "Evil" really. The Q continuum are sometimes antagonists, and are morally grey since they occasionally kill people. And fight civil wars which blow up suns as a side-effect. If that's enough that I can pick the Q, then you can call me Q. No, not the one played by John de Lancie, that's Q. Completely different Q. It stands for Q. Yes, both of them stand for Q. Do I have to spell it out for you? It shouldn't take that long: Q. Q.
Failing that, the Aeon Illuminate are (in my view) the darkest gray of the gray/gray/gray 3-way war in Supreme Commander, and joining their army would be pretty boss. If you disagree, and think the UEF are the bad guys, that's even better, since then I don't have to adopt an alien religion.
If they're not evil enough either, I pick the Brotherhood Of Mutants if doing so gives me powers, and if it doesn't, I'll join the Britannian Empire from Code Geass.
