Poll: why can't students love their teachers?

[Hagi]

As far as I'm concerned a teacher-student relationship is mutually exclusive with a romantic relationship.

All the reasons have pretty much already been said so not really much more to add.

In the case the student is a minor I consider it criminal, it's statutory rape.
In the case the student is not it's still amoral and in my opinion good grounds to fire someone, no jail-time should be served for it though.

 

[knight steel]

I feel that this song is relevant to this topic and thread:

 

[Gigano]

...

Well, power balance have already been mentioned as the reason.

There's no reason it couldn't be adapted to become a closer fit to that reasoning though, by ensuring that prosecution could only take place with the consent of the victim's legal guardians. That way, power would remain with the student/parents, while the government would not be forcing itself into the bedrooms of student/teacher relationships which all parties concerned were perfectly fine with.

The problem is that rape is a capital crime, and it's not actually the victim or the parents prosecuting the rapist, it's the state. Changing that precedent could lead to people not getting prosecuted after committing really heinous crimes for a variety of reasons.

Then define a consensual student/teacher relationship as something else - in a different penal code article - and make prosecution under that article subject to student approval.

 

[Trippy Turtle]

Its a crime because if it were allowed people could be pressured into stuff at threat of being failed, or being promised good grades and stuff. Also with underage kids its a crime anyway. If they aren't at least 18 then the teacher is a pedophile too.

 

[azukar]

As a teacher, I wouldn't get into a relationship with a student for several reasons, besides the fact that it's in the Code of Conduct.

1) Issues of favouritism (how could you really prove otherwise?)
2) Potential for abuse of authority.
3) Break-ups can be nasty enough without having to then come in and teach.
4) Students become almost like your own children.

Oh yeah, and I teach primary school, so that rules that *right* out!

But yes. Mostly, as others have said, it's the fact that you're in a position of power and authority over your students, and they can be quite susceptible to you. Once they are of legal age, and not in your duty of care, then you can see whether any attraction might be real.

 

[loc978]

Same reason a sergeant can get demoted and forcibly moved across the world for fucking a junior member of his or her squad... already covered in the thread.

Age restrictions are of course dependent on local culture and law (I've been places where even particularly ugly sixteen year olds have had more sex than your average american married couple of ten years), but not banging your subordinates is a much more fundamental rule, designed to curtail some of the darker parts of human nature.

 

[Vault101]

I like how every other post say that teacher are the ones doing the seducing , but not one mentions the possibility that the student is capable of seducing the teacher . As if teachers are immune to seduction or student are incapable of seducing a teacher . It's Always the teachers fault isn't it .
.

Teachers are ADULTS...they really should know better, the 16 year old teenager wants to have sex with you? as from that being a BAD Idea your not going to convince anyone you simply couldnt controll yourself theres this quote from the movie Hard Candy

[quote/]Who? The pedophiles! 'Oh, she was so sexy. She was asking for it.' 'She was only technically a girl, she acted like a woman.' It's just so easy to blame a kid, isn't it! Just because a girl knows how to imitate a woman, does NOT mean she's ready to do what a woman does. I mean, you're the grown up here. If a kid is experimenting and says something flirtatious, you ignore it, you don't encourage it! If a kid says 'Hey, let's make screwdrivers!' You take the alcohol away, and you don't race them to the next drink!
Share this quote[/quote]
not quite exact in terms of context but yeah

 

[DrunkenMonkey]

Well the age gap for one is a big difference, the poll includes high school so the age gap there is trememendous. Same goes for college, but at least the students there are true young adults who have enough sense to know what they truly want, sort of.... Can't say that for high school.

Other problem is pretty damn obvious, grades man grades. Hell students who are the least bit receptive of a teacher are designated teacher's pets, kiss asses, etc. I don't even want to fathom what it's like for fucking a teacher rumor or not. The teacher is the one who gets stuck in shit in the end, if he or she attempts to balance the grades with the romance the student might call him/her out on it, if the said teacher is lucky for a true romance where the student understands that screwing doesn't justify better grades out of the box, then teacher still has to worry about getting fired, reputation invariable getting pushed down the gutter.

So the way I see it most people pity the student, I pity the teacher because they have everything to lose, a student doesn't.

 

[FoolKiller]

There is also the fact that the brain hasn't developed fully till the late teens and you aren't fully capable of understanding the consequences of such actions. As the adult, the teacher is expected to understand this and not abuse this knowledge, nor the power imbalance which everyone has mentioned.

 

[spartan231490]

It's the authority. It's a powerful coercive force, one that borderlines on rape, regardless of age.

Let's not take things to extremes.

True story: In one year of university I totally had the hots for my TA. I never approached her for a relationship (because I didn't want to create a situation where she could get into trouble), but if I had, and she had accepted, and we had a relationship, it wouldn't have been anything remotely like rape.

It would have been unprofessional and inappropriate, sure. But not rape.

Yeah, because the authority a college TA has over you is identical to the authority a high school teacher has over you. And the maturity you have in dealing with that authority when you're in college is identical to the maturity you have in dealing with it in college.

Snide me being an asshole aside(sorry, I just can't resist the chance to be sarcastic), I actually agree with you. It's nothing like rape as we usually think of it, but it's still coercion and it's still wrong for that reason.

 

[Shadowsetzer]

You just don't sleep with someone you in any way hold a position of power over.

This, right here. If a teacher is sleeping with his/her student, there's always the constant threat of 'I can destroy your grade' hanging over the student's head, regardless of whether it's been explicitly stated or not.

Captcha: The cat lady. I don't really think that's any better.

 

[CrimsonBlaze]

Teachers and students are just that: teachers and students.

It's wrong because either side can be manipulated in any way, shape, or form. Even if there is a mutual attraction between two consenting adults, within the given parameters, there are always suspicions and risks that this can go sour very quickly.

If the two want to pursue a relationship after one or both have left the educational institution, then that is perfectly fine (if they are into that). Otherwise, it's inappropriate.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

Every so often you'll hear about some teacher or NFL cheerleader getting throw in jail cause she made love to high school student somewhere. my question is though, why is this even a crime? i read a story once about a 24 year old teacher getting jail time for sleeping with her 21 year old student.

What really? That's happened? I'm mean sure the High School teacher sleeping with the 13 year old student is definitely worth jail time, but a 24 and a 21 year old? That's seems odd. I mean sure it brings into question the Teacher's integrity and is probably a violation of professional etiquette, but they're both consenting adults so that should hardly be worth jail time. As long as they're both consenting I don't see a problem, aside from the afor mentioned integrity and professional etiquette that is.

 

[Darken12]

There are basically three different situations where this applies:

A) Adult has sex with a minor under the age of consent: this is illegal for obvious reasons, so it doesn't matter how willing the minor is, he legally cannot give consent.
B) Adult has sex with minor over the age of consent: this might be legal, but it takes on a predatory tone as the position of authority over the minor (along with the adult/minor age difference) puts severe pressure on the student to do as the teacher says. This can easily lead to coerced consent. It may also be against the local law or the local school regulations.
C) Adult has sex with another adult: here you also have the coerced consent thing, but it's not as severe as the previous case. However, it can also be against local laws or school regulations.

Basically, the crux of the matter is coerced consent. While the student might be giving consent, the situation surrounding the relationship might be such that significant pressure is put on the student to give such consent. For example, if I'm a student and a teacher makes a pass at me, I will feel at a tremendous disadvantage, as the teacher can "get back at me" for my rejection by destroying my grade in perfectly justifiable ways, and if I try to levy a case of sexual harassment, it's likely that the school administration will side with the teacher when there is an absence of evidence, since students are notoriously immature, petty, mischievous and clearly not above fabricating such accusations for their own ends. And likewise, teachers are known by the school staff as respectable, trustworthy, level-headed and professional, so it takes very solid evidence to convince them otherwise. So if I, the student, knows this, when the teacher makes a pass at me, I have to choose between getting my grades destroyed (and potentially losing things like scholarships or getting into the college/grad school/etc they want, which in turn will end up shaping the rest of their lives) or having sex with them. That is coerced consent. I might end up giving consent, but it was similar to the consent I might give with a gun pointed at my head.

So when the school administration finds out about a student-teacher affair, even if the student wildly denies accusations of coercion, this pressure still exists, and the school administration just can't be sure. It's best to make blanket statements that forbid such relationships than doing extensive and awkward investigations to rule out coercion (which is not as easy as it sounds).

 

[thiosk]

Teacher student can't work because of power balance issues. In college, you can bang a professor though, provided they are not responsible for grading you.

 

[Auron225]

I have to laugh at the first poll option; "yes, if the student is in high school - then it's a crime". PRIMARY school on the other hand... =P

 

[aba1]

Because teachers are instructors and it's hard to retain professionalism with someone you're boinking, not mentioning that said boink-y would likely receive special treatment.

Kind of like how therapists can lose their license for getting too intimate with clients.

I won't say 16 or 17 year olds shouldn't be having sex but when it's with someone much older it's usually more them being taken advantage of rather than genuine affection.

This says it all fairly well not to mention the fact that teachers could abuse there position of power to take advantage of students who might not want to risk their future denying the advances. In the end it is all about professionalism as stated above.

 

[Overusedname]

Because we have to set a limit and teacher's aren't supposed to fuck students? That teacher's may be preying on student's in these situations.

I thought threads like these had died.

Yes 18 is arbitrary. As arbitrary as 16 or 20 or 21. We must decide on a limit and we decided on 18. Deal with it.

EDIT:Not to mention the whole part about the power balance.

What he said.

Power balance is a thing, dude. And so is favoritism. And so is potentially psychologically screwing a kid up for life, messing with their ability to respect authority.

 

[Yopaz]

OK, so I think it should be forbidden, but not illegal. Serving time over this is stupid since consensual sex isn't a crime. A teacher shouldn't have to face time over this. However that teacher probably shouldn't be allowed to teach if this is discovered.

It's not a matter of paedophilia, but a matter of being in an authorial position. You are supposed to keep a professional position towards those you have under your authority. A boss having sex with his secretary is often considered abuse of position and I consider the teacher student relationship worse since the student isn't likely to be as experienced.

A teacher also has to grade a student and being objective is hard enough without the sexual relationship. Some teachers are likely to give grades because they like the student or want to support him/her. I know I have received some unfair grades that kept me from failing math because the teacher didn't want me to fail.

 

[The White Hunter]

Even if it is legal, i.e. the student is over 16 and both parties consent, the school finding out will almost definately result in the teachers dismissal.