Poll: Why hello, LADIES...

[Larenxis]

Voting is for heterosexual women or bisexual women in relation to men only, I'm afraid. Everyone else can feel free to post, but please keep a minimum of 25 words a post.

I really don't understand why guys keep on thinking they need to be meaner to get the ladies. Every girl and woman I know (with one exception, admittedly*) is into/is dating/is married to a really nice guy. I feel like the whole 'be mean, keep 'em keen' thing is a prank that went too far. I would never be interested in a guy who intentionally made me unhappy. What's the point?

Of course, another major problem is guys just thinking they're nice. Saying you're sorry all the time isn't being nice, it's being insincere (if it is sincere every time, you need to see a therapist). And when you stop being nice the instant she fancies another gentlemen, you're not a nice guy, you're manipulative. And you're not a nice guy if you hide how you feel about a friend until it's 'convenient' for you. Being nice does not mean degrading yourself or sacrificing your integrity. It seems simple to me: Respect yourself, and respect others, especially the one you fancy.

EDIT: If you vote for either extreme, please explain in a post. I'm suspecting shenanigans...

*She likes nice guys, but finds good looks more important. She also likes looking at shoe catalogs, and drinks colourful vodka cocktails. Although she's the glaring exception in my life, she appears to be the common stereotype.

 

[arcainia]

Um...not to sound mean or anything, but do you want our opinion about guys or...? I'm a bit lost.

 

[xitel]

I don't know where the idea that guys think that women like tough guys either. I'm always polite to women, seeing as how I know being a dick won't help anything. And every time one of my friends asks me for relationship advice I tell them the same thing: "Be nice, be polite". And every time they call me a genius because apparently they never thought of that.

 

[Labyrinth]

I like to argue with partners, regardless of their gender. This doesn't mean catfights, it means debates. Respect is important from both sides. Intelligence just as much. Nice? That's a hard one. Genuine would be a better word, along with empathetic. Nice is just too tacky I'm afraid.

 

[Erana]

What bothers me is that a lot of men think that the relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend is completely different than being just friends. It should be an extremely close bond, and just happen to have sexual relations, too.
Also, it bothers me on how I was contradicted on the, "real men don't cry" thread when I said that, "Chicks dig sensitive men."
Who wouldn't want to date a sensitive person?

 

[Graustein]

Who wouldn't want to date a sensitive person?

My guess is someone who equates "sensitive" with "wimpy".

On to the topic, I know I'm a nice guy, mostly because my female friends all list it as my best trait. And while I'm sure you have no reason to believe me when I say this (ulterior motives and all), my politeness and courtesy is all genuine.

As far as I know, girls going for "tough" guys fit into the category of people who equate "nice" with "pushover" (which I admittedly can be) and would rather someone with confidence. Which, in my experience, genuinely nice people of both sexes sorely lack. So, they say they want a tough guy, but what they really want is a confident one. It's just gone too far in that direction, leading to girls falling in love with jerkasses and guys thinking they have to be jerkasses if they want to get into anybody's pants.

That's just my interpretation of this whole issue.

 

[slxiii]

Voting is for heterosexual women or bisexual women in relation to men only, I'm afraid. Everyone else can feel free to post, but please keep a minimum of 25 words a post.

I really don't understand why guys keep on thinking they need to be meaner to get the ladies. Every girl and woman I know (with one exception, admittedly*) is into/is dating/is married to a really nice guy. I feel like the whole 'be mean, keep 'em keen' thing is a prank that went too far. I would never be interested in a guy who intentionally made me unhappy. What's the point?

good for you, and good for them. What exactly is there to discuss here?

 

[Brotherofwill]

My experience shows that women like mean guys, if you want to put it like that. Usually they get really frustrated if they are ignored...well I'm not sure why but I think the theory of women liking assholes is well deserved

And isn't the first one kind of like rape?

 

[Fire Daemon]

I don't like the 25 word limit. I also don't like the poll choice, too narrow. I've run out of room. Electron Microscope Rangers!

 

[Matronadena]

I can't actually vote on it as I dont feel my reply fits well with many of those in a finite way

a man, that can be himself is the first part. An out of control ego is a major turn off...however being a rogue is sexy as hell ( and again being a TRUE rogue in nature, not a poser.)

not a tool by any means....

Brains and common sense go the long distance with me, though I want him to be able to sit down and tear through fable with me or something, I also want to be able to sit and be able to pick apart the ins and outs of quantum mechanics, down to the cognitive leaps the hominid brain has taken and where it can go,

Having genuine emotion is good, but I dont want a cold slate,a time bomb, nore do I want an emo pretty boy... if I wanted constant tears I'd consider having a daughter and raising her to be as spoiled and unstable as I could....if I wanted brute aggression, I'd buy a bull hippo and constantly throw things in his little pool to piss him off..

Confidant, brave, educated, honourable ( do not confuse with chivalry which I can't stand)

I also want him to be able to pick up a blade, or curl his fists and be willing to spar and rough house... that being said physical stamina, and atleast average health is a must ( not really on a sexual level, more of a general...you have a shorter life span than me, lets try and keep you around alittle longer)knowing when its time to be aggressive, and when its time to be more about tactful.

culturally open, that is to say is bright enough to realize that there is more than just their little world..

Lucky for me I've landed one exactly like that, and my two son's follow in that same path...

I also prefer my women that way too, with a few tweaks to the criteria.


basically to break it down...a warrior scholar with a little Han Solo/Gambit in them, who knows their place in the world, and expects nothing more or less, but does not put off that responsibility of being true to their form... and has the balls to stand up for themselves, and their, and others honour.


fastest way to get thrown out of my radar is to try to flaunt " Im a bad ass" sure I may like a suped up import and had one in my youth..some other types of showing off come to mind too... but the second that car becomes your attempt into my pants, my mind automatically thinks ones hung like a toddler in an arctic storm, and has a personality equal to that of a brain damaged sloth who has done meth to the point that your more likely to get a half starved zombie to write a thesis on the benefits of a vegan diet while cooking steaks on a grill next to him, than get an genuine thought out of the other.

 

[Seldon2639]

I've taken a hiatus on the word "nice", it's way too easily thrown around. Niceness is used (mostly by men) to laud ourselves when we want to appear better than the "rest" of men. Of course, what it really means is the kind of guy who uses a friendship with a girl as a way to step into a relationship somewhere down the line. I personally believe that the best relationships start off as friendships, but if you go into it with the mindset of "I'll be her friend so she has to eventually see how awesome I am", it's just manipulative.

Legitimate respectfulness and concern is fantastic. Being "nice" as another method of getting into a girl's pants is pretty crappy. I did it for a while, and after seeing how much it hurt girls when all was said and done, I stopped. Emotional manipulation isn't any better than the "be a jerk" method. Heck, at least the jerks are honest about it.

P.S: Yes, I'm aware that there's an xkcd about this, and wishing no disrespect for the man it's not entirely apt. Using friendship as a means to get into a relationship isn't just passive aggressive, it's terribly manipulative. To try to pass it off as anything else is sheer sophistry.

P.P.S: I don't mean that friendships that become relationships are all manipulative, but there is a difference. A friendship forged for the purpose of friendship can become a relationship (usually a damned good one). A friendship forged because the man secretly wants a relationship and is using that closeness in order to try to bridge that gap lacks gallantry.

 

[PurpleRain]

Thank god you made a thread on the opposite side of the ball court (excuse the expression, I don't know what else to write... I'm tired. Leave me alone!). All these 'I like a girl, what do I do?' threads are getting old. And now there's one dedicated to C vs D cups? *Sighs*

Anyway, I guess I can't contribute too much to the thread. Though I don't hounestly see how a lady can be attracted to a man who's beating on her, yelling at her all the time, or just lusting for her because of her looks. If its the latter, then why do said qirls cry when things go down hill? I guess it's more so an issue of safty rather than having a real realationship. I guess that sort of annoys me, seeing couples and you only wonder why the hell they even stay with each other?

 

[Dys]

Women don't make sense, women liking being treated badly doesn't also doesn't make sense...seems like a match made in heaven?

Honestly lets face it, most women don't understand women any better than men do (outside of themselves). And what men and women or rather just people in general think is 'abusive' is completely subjective, I've known girls who I've treated badly who kept coming back, yet the only reason I treated them badly was because I wasn't interested and couldn't be bothered being nice about it anymore, so maybe the whole interest in people that don't treat you right is purely desperation and lonelyness and not actually wanting to be treated that way? Or maybe I just have no fucking clue how women work and furiously try to keep working theories going so I don't get driven insane by them.

 

[Samurai Goomba]

25 Words: Is there an option to see the poll results? I'm not a woman-I can't vote.

Cool! Under the limit.

 

[Labyrinth]

Thank god you made a thread on the opposite side of the ball court (excuse the expression, I don't know what else to write... I'm tired. Leave me alone!). All these 'I like a girl, what do I do?' threads are getting old. And now there's one dedicated to C vs D cups? *Sighs*

Anyway, I guess I can't contribute too much to the thread. Though I don't hounestly see how a lady can be attracted to a man who's beating on her, yelling at her all the time, or just lusting for her because of her looks. If its the latter, then why do said qirls cry when things go down hill? I guess it's more so an issue of safty rather than having a real realationship. I guess that sort of annoys me, seeing couples and you only wonder why the hell they even stay with each other?

For the same reason that some people enjoy being in a domme/sub relationship as the latter. They get physical pleasure out of the pain.

 

[Bunnymarn]

I like to think I'm a nice guy, but I am probably not as much as I'd like to be. Although like Labyrinth said, nice is a fairly tacky word. I think I am genuine, I don't particularily like lying.

What bothers me is that a lot of men think that the relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend is completely different than being just friends. It should be an extremely close bond, and just happen to have sexual relations, too.
Also, it bothers me on how I was contradicted on the, "real men don't cry" thread when I said that, "Chicks dig sensitive men."
Who wouldn't want to date a sensitive person?

Only real men admit to crying.

 

[SenseOfTumour]

I'm gonna play a dodgy card, and probly reveal a bit too much about myself here, but here goes.

Is it possible that a lot of the nice guys have learned they have to be nice to get noticed because they're not stunning Adonis-like figures of manliness, where as the ignorant, rude or plain abusive men can often be so attractive that they've never had to bother treating the woman right because she's just so amazed that she's got something so pretty.

Of course feel free to spin the genders around if it makes anyone feel better.

Having said that, most of the time when I read about someone who's beaten their wife, they look like they've escaped from a badly drawn, rejected Flintstones cartoon.

In short, maybe being nice is something you learn if you don't have it easy due to confidence (or arrogance), money or looks. Just a theory, but I'm guessing it then gets seen in the other direction subconsciously.

'He's really nice, I wonder what's wrong with him? I'd best go for that asshole instead, at least his flaws are glaringly obvious.'

 

[Durahan2]

On the internet I'm a troll/pervert. In real life I'm a really nice guy. Neither one gets chicks. I agree with some of sense's post however, I'm nice because I like being nice in real life. I guess it's cause I have an overactive imagenation, but it still doesn't help with the ladies sadly. I mostly end up forgotten by many, and just a "friend" to few XD. But alas!

 

[ExistentialCrisis]

I like to think I'm a nice guy, but I am probably not as much as I'd like to be. Although like Labyrinth said, nice is a fairly tacky word. I think I am genuine, I don't particularily like lying.

What bothers me is that a lot of men think that the relationship between a boyfriend and girlfriend is completely different than being just friends. It should be an extremely close bond, and just happen to have sexual relations, too.
Also, it bothers me on how I was contradicted on the, "real men don't cry" thread when I said that, "Chicks dig sensitive men."
Who wouldn't want to date a sensitive person?

Only real men admit to crying.

Real PEOPLE admit to it. Crying is not something to be ashamed of for both genders; it's a catharsis and a perfectly natural, healthy response. Keeping it all in is stupid and those that do not respond in at least an equivalent manner obviously don't care to bother.

 

[Dommyboy]

ITT: People bitching about life experiences.