Poll: Why hello, LADIES...
- Thread starter Larenxis
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Well, my problem with crying is I'm mentally unstable at present to the point where tiny emotional triggers can set me off, so I tend to not go to the cinema for the fear of loudly blubbing thru a movie, heh.
I did however go see Watchmen, however I waw biting my own lips off within the openings credit to rein it in, and was quite a damn mess by the end, however, I did really enjoy the movie.
It's a similar reason that I can't join in on Singstar and the like, most songs I can't sing along to as I choke up on the lightest most bubblegum sentiments in lyrics, and of course I don't want to look weird or upset in a happy situation.
I still anyone who saw a man sat crying, say, on a bench in the middle of town, would be far less likely to check on his wellbeing than if it was a woman. Of course that could be due to men being more likely to lash out when upset.
Anyways, just replying to a post, not trying to derail topic!
I did however go see Watchmen, however I waw biting my own lips off within the openings credit to rein it in, and was quite a damn mess by the end, however, I did really enjoy the movie.
It's a similar reason that I can't join in on Singstar and the like, most songs I can't sing along to as I choke up on the lightest most bubblegum sentiments in lyrics, and of course I don't want to look weird or upset in a happy situation.
I still anyone who saw a man sat crying, say, on a bench in the middle of town, would be far less likely to check on his wellbeing than if it was a woman. Of course that could be due to men being more likely to lash out when upset.
Anyways, just replying to a post, not trying to derail topic!
I know it's not that I have to be meaner to get ladies, I need to be more assertive. Right now, I'm a complete tool.
Look, this whole assholes get the girls thing is easy to explain.
If the women has grown up in an environment where she did not feel particularly loved, or has had a parter like that for a while, they can end up in a co-dependent dance where they seek approval from those who withold it.
So an asshole shows a little care and then pulls away or is abusive can hook them into that cycle of craving approval. The cycle is self-perpetuating until the woman realises she's seeking love\approval\validation from someone who won't really give it to her.
Once they realise this, they go for nicer guys who treat them with respect. That's why when you're in your teens or early twenties, you see this a lot. In your thirties+ you see it less and less.
If the women has grown up in an environment where she did not feel particularly loved, or has had a parter like that for a while, they can end up in a co-dependent dance where they seek approval from those who withold it.
So an asshole shows a little care and then pulls away or is abusive can hook them into that cycle of craving approval. The cycle is self-perpetuating until the woman realises she's seeking love\approval\validation from someone who won't really give it to her.
Once they realise this, they go for nicer guys who treat them with respect. That's why when you're in your teens or early twenties, you see this a lot. In your thirties+ you see it less and less.
I've gotten girls being both an asshole and a nice guy before. The whole asshole thing just comes from the whole alfa-male more dominant and confident personality thing. Being a nice guy only works if there's no one else around to make fun of you.
As a person though, I feel I am a nice mixture of the two.
As a person though, I feel I am a nice mixture of the two.
i just want someone who makes me laugh...
sometimes a little friendly insult is good, i insult my friends a lot, but they know i dont really mean it
sometimes a little friendly insult is good, i insult my friends a lot, but they know i dont really mean it
It works for a lot of guys, I know a few girls who only ever seemed to date bastards, they always realise they were eventually but the next guy was always the same.Larenxis said:
In one particular case I warned the girl about this guy (I'd only known him for a few hours and could tell what he was like) and lo and behold, he used her.
When it comes to marriage then that's usually different, most relationships with nasty people don't last long enough for that possibility to arise.
The problem is that nice guys are frequently not seen as 'dating material' and this causes frustration amongst the male population.
The only successful relationships I know of, are thankfully the ones where the good guy was chosen.
I always act a bit mean in a kind of teasing way, but its a fine balancing act between being a nice bastard and just being an asshole. Its worked for me quite often I'd say though not all the time.
Though I don't mean it in that way. That I can understand. Domestic abuse, threats of violence, police calls and whatnot, that's what I don't get. I sort of assume it's got something to do with the female haveing low standards in herself and feeling the safety of finacial support or the safety of having someone with them that dominates over the abuse.Labyrinth said:
Sorry Larry if this went a bit off topic.
"Bad" people target "Nice" people first. "Nice" people end up bitter and lacking in confidence. Choice? Physical looks = first impression. Confidence next. Personality third.
In that situation coercion also plays a part. I've seen any number of friends remain with unideal partners because they were convinced that their love would "set things straight". It's unfortunate but it happens. The same is true of women who do not leave for fear of being alone. Hell, there are even cases of it being the woman who's abusive of her partner. It's better to talk to people in such a negative environment and try to show them that there are other options. Simply calling them weak has never seemed a good move to me.PurpleRain said:
Funny you should say that. I don't consider myself a nice person, any more than I consider myself real dating material. Coincidence? I think not.The_root_of_all_evil said:
A nice guy is what I look for, but that doesn't mean we never have small arguments. In fact its fun to get in a small argument just for the chance to make up. And hey, if you like it rough and that turns you on, great, but he should know better than to always treat you like that.
Yea, I'm not fond of the whole "jerk/bad boy" personality. I find it rather unattractive. My brother likes to act like that and he hasn't had a girlfriend in 2-3 years. So it goes to show that acting like a jerk won't prove anything. I prefer the nice sincere guy, but a little dry humor and playful teasing is fine with me, because you can't have a super nice guy all the time that would get annoying.
Call me unreasonable, but can you put an "I'm a man" option up there. So the dudes can see the results?
Well I try to treat women with respect, but most of the girl friends I've had don't give me much to work with in terms of behavior... I actually met one that liked getting hit, I can't bring myself to hitting a girl though. (I know this is for ladies but I figured a small amout of male input is alright, for the record I'm not gay or bisexual)
Maybe it's because all the good looking girls almost unanimously fancy the 'bad boy' around teenagehood. Guys then learn that being the bad boy gets hot girls. Since men supposedly never grow up, this could stay with them into adulthood.
