A giant Salmon. Quite hard to swing and would leave a foul odur downstairs. Unless it was a live fish, then we could use it as bait so my lot could nip to the cafe and Gamestation for supplies.
Poll: Worst Weapon Against a Zombie
- Thread starter Zeema
- Start date
Red Sauce, could cover yourself in it and pretend to be a zombie.
Surprising amount of people voted for Bible I thought, could probably bludgeon a zombie quite effectively with a big heavy bible.
Pilows could be could for deffence, cover yourself in them like armour and make it harder to bite through.
However by a vast majority, and I agree, most useless thing you could do is tweet about it.
Surprising amount of people voted for Bible I thought, could probably bludgeon a zombie quite effectively with a big heavy bible.
Pilows could be could for deffence, cover yourself in them like armour and make it harder to bite through.
However by a vast majority, and I agree, most useless thing you could do is tweet about it.
A stapler could be unlatched and used as a flail, a spoon could be used to dig a zombie's eyes out and then stab it in the brain, Bibles are usually heavy enough to be used as bludgeons, triple A batteries could be sliced open and used as tiny, acid-filled stilettos, a broken CD has twice the structural integrity of a whole one and could potentially penetrate a zombie's skull, posting about it on Twitter could alert the authorities and have a team sent to rescue you, and you could throw a pillow case over a zombie and run away while its distracted.
But tomato sauce? I got nothin'.
But tomato sauce? I got nothin'.
I'm going to comment on the actual effectiveness of each weapon versus a zombie, just for the lulz.
A Stapler - The staples themselves are useless, however the stapler can be used as a very effective bludgeoning weapon. So assuming the zombie can't outmanuever you (that'd be sad if it could), then you can easily beat it down. You can also throw the stapler at their weak point for massive damage... yea I said it.
A Spoon - Depending on size of the spoon it can be used quite effectively. Spoons actually make very handy gouging implements, despite some people's beliefs, it is in fact very easy to draw blood by stabbing someone with a spoon. That being said, against a zombie it won't do much unless you have the strength to sever its head with a spoon (the spoon will break before you achieve this, so I hope you have multiple spoons).
A Bible - Pray to god, he'll save you. seriously though, god won't help you, because technically Jesus is a zombie, so that makes zombies god's friends by extension. As a bludgeoning weapon, it can be minorly effective, however don't expect to kill a zombie unless you go completely medieval on it
Triple A Batteries - Actually fairly useful, not as an actaul weapon, but using them to power something that can be used as a weapon. However if that's not possible, then you can break them, store the battery acid in a plastic container, and throw it at the zombies... though that won't do anything.
CD's - Yea... unless they're made of steel you aren't going to do much. The most you can do is throw them and give the zombies annoying lacerations, which don't do anything to zombies.
Posting About it on Twitter - The only 100% useless thing on here, and it's also what I voted for, because unless the local zombie patrol checks your tweets, no one is coming to save you. Also most people on Twitter are already zombies, so you're screwed (har har, twitter users are zombies, I'm so witty).
Pillows - If we're talking about a normal pillow filled with feathers, useless, however if we have the kind of pillow that I'd use, then infintely awesome, and useful. Rip out the insides, and fill it with heavy objects, and proceed to go on a zombie whacking spree.
Tomato Sauce - If your zombies love tomato sauce, then throw this on one of their buddies and watch them chow on eachother. However, if you zombies actually make sense then the best you could do is either hit them with the can, or super heat the sauce so it burn them severely... however they're zombies so I don't think burns will do anything.
So that's my opinion on that, for those that don't want to read it (I know I wouldn't), here's the tl;dr version, I voted for Twitter being the most useless, and pillow cases are more useful than you think.
A Stapler - The staples themselves are useless, however the stapler can be used as a very effective bludgeoning weapon. So assuming the zombie can't outmanuever you (that'd be sad if it could), then you can easily beat it down. You can also throw the stapler at their weak point for massive damage... yea I said it.
A Spoon - Depending on size of the spoon it can be used quite effectively. Spoons actually make very handy gouging implements, despite some people's beliefs, it is in fact very easy to draw blood by stabbing someone with a spoon. That being said, against a zombie it won't do much unless you have the strength to sever its head with a spoon (the spoon will break before you achieve this, so I hope you have multiple spoons).
A Bible - Pray to god, he'll save you. seriously though, god won't help you, because technically Jesus is a zombie, so that makes zombies god's friends by extension. As a bludgeoning weapon, it can be minorly effective, however don't expect to kill a zombie unless you go completely medieval on it
Triple A Batteries - Actually fairly useful, not as an actaul weapon, but using them to power something that can be used as a weapon. However if that's not possible, then you can break them, store the battery acid in a plastic container, and throw it at the zombies... though that won't do anything.
CD's - Yea... unless they're made of steel you aren't going to do much. The most you can do is throw them and give the zombies annoying lacerations, which don't do anything to zombies.
Posting About it on Twitter - The only 100% useless thing on here, and it's also what I voted for, because unless the local zombie patrol checks your tweets, no one is coming to save you. Also most people on Twitter are already zombies, so you're screwed (har har, twitter users are zombies, I'm so witty).
Pillows - If we're talking about a normal pillow filled with feathers, useless, however if we have the kind of pillow that I'd use, then infintely awesome, and useful. Rip out the insides, and fill it with heavy objects, and proceed to go on a zombie whacking spree.
Tomato Sauce - If your zombies love tomato sauce, then throw this on one of their buddies and watch them chow on eachother. However, if you zombies actually make sense then the best you could do is either hit them with the can, or super heat the sauce so it burn them severely... however they're zombies so I don't think burns will do anything.
So that's my opinion on that, for those that don't want to read it (I know I wouldn't), here's the tl;dr version, I voted for Twitter being the most useless, and pillow cases are more useful than you think.
The Bible. What's the use, really? You gonna pray them to death?
A Stapler is actually pretty nasty in the right hands. You could easily drive it through someone's eye-socket and staple their brain into mush.
A Spoon, ditto but with the not round end (or the round end...)
Triple A Batteries, could be fed to the zombie, to kill it.
CD's could be thrown, like discuses, of doom! D=
Posting About it on Twitter could potentially be a way to summon help!
Pillows could be used as a gag! Rendering the zombie ineffective, and easily finished off by hand.
Tomato Sauce can be used to make yourself look like a zombie, they don't eat each other see!
A Stapler is actually pretty nasty in the right hands. You could easily drive it through someone's eye-socket and staple their brain into mush.
A Spoon, ditto but with the not round end (or the round end...)
Triple A Batteries, could be fed to the zombie, to kill it.
CD's could be thrown, like discuses, of doom! D=
Posting About it on Twitter could potentially be a way to summon help!
Pillows could be used as a gag! Rendering the zombie ineffective, and easily finished off by hand.
Tomato Sauce can be used to make yourself look like a zombie, they don't eat each other see!
Canadian Briton said:
That, my friend, is why God created sporks.
Chainsaw. even if it never runs out of fuel, chances are that once it hits bone, the chain with break and wrap around your throat from the backlash, killing you. Every hear of the Greenpeace tree-spiking scandal? Same theory.
I imagine biological weapons would be the most harmful to yourself and your group as well as extremely ineffective against people who are already dead and therefore can't be harmed, but just imagine if you then created mustard gas zombies who are just bloated toxic carriers for the gases and act sort of like the l4d boomer except more deadly. Ew bloated corpses...
Tomato sauce isn't completely useless, I mean you could blind the zombie potentially. But if blinding a zombie is your aim, hot sauce would probably be the better condiment. :/