Poll: Would you accept immortality?

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Canadamus Prime

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Jun 17, 2009
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I've read that Cracked article before, but even if I hadn't my answer would still be the same and that answer is FUCK NO! My friends and I once discussed this waaaaaaaaay back in High School and we figured that there is absolutely nothing that could possibly entertain us/keep us from getting bored for all eternity. For example look at Q from Star Trek. He was essentially a god for all intents and purposes with all the righteous stuff that goes along with that, and yet why did he torment the Enterprise crew? Because he was bored. He had the power to completely bend the Universe to his whim and he was bored! After several hundred thousand millennia or so, he had gotten bored of being a GOD (again, not exactly, but for all intents and purposes)!
So yeah, since I'm pretty sure this gummy bear doesn't come with godly powers, I definitely think I'll pass.
 

Dirty Hipsters

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TheVioletBandit said:
Dirty Hipsters said:
the spud said:
A green kool-aid man from the future shows up at your front door. You let him in (he seems trustworthy enough) and he gives you a box. Inside the box, there is a magic gummi bear that, when eaten, gives whoever ate it immortality. You live forever and cannot be physically harmed or killed. You feel pain, but it is greatly nulled and maxes out at like a 3 on the 1-10 pain-o-meter. Do you eat the gummi bear?

Now at first the answer may seem obvious. "Why wouldn't I eat it?" you may ask. However, I reccomend reading this Cracked article. If your too lazy to read it I will provide a short summary.
1. Evolution will turn you into a freak: Over thousands of years something better, stronger, faster, and smarter will likely develop from humans, leaving you left behind as a freak.

2. Nobody can ever find out: If you've got immortality then everybody will want it. Governments, CEO's, the masses, you name it. And they don't care what they have to do to get it.

3. You're still getting older (mentally): You will be forced to remember everything that happens over the course of infinity, which your brain just isn't built to do.

4. Time speeds up till you're insane: As time flies by, your different friends, loves, and lives slowly fade from your memory, making 50 years seem relatively equal to a saturday night.

5. You will eventually get trapped there forever: Eventually, you will get trapped in a pile of rubble, or the rest of the human race gets wiped out, and you till be trapped there forever.
If you have any questions about that list, read the article. It is way more detailed and well written than the above summary.

So, would you eat the gummi bear?
Hell yes I would eat the gummi bear.

As for all the "downsides"

1. Evolution will turn you into a freak. At the moment it kind of seems like humanity has gone from physical evolution to more of a mental one, since we build tools to help us do things that we would have had to evolve to do previously (like fly). Humanity might actually become mostly immune to physical evolution in the long run, so I'm willing to take that chance.

2. Yeah, that might kind of suck, but on the other hand it gives you incentive to constantly move and see new places, and if you keep doing that no one will find out that you're immortal.

3. You'd be surprised as to what your brain can do. If it finds something to be unimportant, it'll forget it, so I won't ever actually be remembering all of eternity. Once it's 2500 I probably won't remember much from 1990 because it would no longer be relevant to me, past a few key memories.

4. Again, not necessarily true. This would require that the human brain work in a way that it doesn't.

5. If I'm immortal then the rubble will deteriorate before I do, so all I have to do is outlast it.

Also, just to point out, even if the rest of the human race ends up getting wiped out, it would mean very little to me over all. The universe it vast, and I would have all of time. If I have eternity I would be able to one day figure out how to build a space craft, and would leave earth to seek out new planets. Wouldn't have to worry about ever running out of air, food, or water, and wouldn't have to worry about landing on planets with inhospitable climates since I would be immortal. Just think about it. Even with the human race gone, you'll always have something to do.
The bad thing about going to space is that it's very plausible that you could be sucked into the gravitational field of a massive planet like Jupiter which has a surface that is covered in liquid metallic hydrogen. Not only would you be in liquid metal, but the intense gravity would pull you down to the bottom and you would never be able to even lift a finger. Sure its possible that someday the something crazy could destroy the planet and free you, but then what if your pulled into a star or worse a black hole?

I would still eat the gummy bear, but there are some scary things that could happen on earth and some far scarier things that could happen in space. You would be insane by then for sure anyway, but it would still suck balls.
But we don't even know what's inside of black holes. Think about it, you'd be the first person to survive and see what's on the other side. Maybe there's cake!
 

the spud

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TestECull said:
Oh, hey, this copypasta again. Oh well, I can dig it.
Have you seen this one before? I did a quick search and didn't see anything. Given, the escapist search bar isn't perfect, but if it's really that common it would have seemed like something would have popped up.
 

RandV80

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You may not be able to 'die', but how wouldn't you black out if there was no oxygen getting to the brain? Or what if you ram a good old fashion stake through your heart or head? The rules imply that you can still be hurt or injured but you have a Wolverine like form of regeneration, so what I'm getting is doesn't this leave the loophole of permanent unconsciousness? Like if you got dropped off on the surface of Mars you'd quickly pass out and collapse... and remain in that exact position indefinitely unconscious until the air becomes breathable or something/someone pulls you out.

Also, I'm pretty sure the speed increase of time has to do with physically aging, so if you don't age at all...
 

Aircross

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Seeing as your definition of immortality means not dying of due to old age AND being invincible I'm going to have to decline.
 

Zorg Machine

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1&3)Two words, human augmentation. How the hell will people evolve past me when I have steam rollers instead of hands? Too many memories? Your brain is disintegrating due to a lack of storage? get an external harddrive.

2)I would gladly let them experiment for 50 or so years if it meant that I could get to share infinity with someone (even if I hate their guts)

4)well that would take a few thousand years and by then I'm sure that there are still a couple of new things being invented that I could be fascinated and entertained by.

5)if all of humanity would go extinct I would just shoot myself into space and go look for extraterrestrials...or eventually start again after the next big bang. And if I was trapped under rubble I would shake for a few hundred years until I had enough room to work myself out.

Time heals all wounds and the thing about living forever...is that it's forever. I'm sure I would go emo for a century and I would want to die many times but then I would go to therapy for fifty years and that would be that.
 

octafish

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Don Savik said:
What kind of hipster douchebag answers no? Seriously? LIVING FOREVER. You could rule the world by default, no questions asked. Could get boring? Did imagination die in the past 5 years and I just haven't noticed it or something? Too much depression on this forum. Lighten ups.
Lemmy, that's who!

I also don't want to live for ever.
...and don't forget the joker!
 

Kaymish

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Sep 10, 2008
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yeah under those ridiculous conditions it is worse than death and i wouldn't take it
 

rekabdarb

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Jun 25, 2008
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Could my brain die?

Like if i went into a vacuum, lets say space. Would i go mentally handicapped through lack of oxygen. Or if i went into the sun would i have third degree burns on my entire body. Or are we talking about the Immortality that Captain Jack Harkness has (from doctor who) who actually can survive anything.

my answer, a definite maybe
 

TheVioletBandit

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Dirty Hipsters said:
TheVioletBandit said:
Dirty Hipsters said:
the spud said:
A green kool-aid man from the future shows up at your front door. You let him in (he seems trustworthy enough) and he gives you a box. Inside the box, there is a magic gummi bear that, when eaten, gives whoever ate it immortality. You live forever and cannot be physically harmed or killed. You feel pain, but it is greatly nulled and maxes out at like a 3 on the 1-10 pain-o-meter. Do you eat the gummi bear?

Now at first the answer may seem obvious. "Why wouldn't I eat it?" you may ask. However, I reccomend reading this Cracked article. If your too lazy to read it I will provide a short summary.
1. Evolution will turn you into a freak: Over thousands of years something better, stronger, faster, and smarter will likely develop from humans, leaving you left behind as a freak.

2. Nobody can ever find out: If you've got immortality then everybody will want it. Governments, CEO's, the masses, you name it. And they don't care what they have to do to get it.

3. You're still getting older (mentally): You will be forced to remember everything that happens over the course of infinity, which your brain just isn't built to do.

4. Time speeds up till you're insane: As time flies by, your different friends, loves, and lives slowly fade from your memory, making 50 years seem relatively equal to a saturday night.

5. You will eventually get trapped there forever: Eventually, you will get trapped in a pile of rubble, or the rest of the human race gets wiped out, and you till be trapped there forever.
If you have any questions about that list, read the article. It is way more detailed and well written than the above summary.

So, would you eat the gummi bear?
Hell yes I would eat the gummi bear.

As for all the "downsides"

1. Evolution will turn you into a freak. At the moment it kind of seems like humanity has gone from physical evolution to more of a mental one, since we build tools to help us do things that we would have had to evolve to do previously (like fly). Humanity might actually become mostly immune to physical evolution in the long run, so I'm willing to take that chance.

2. Yeah, that might kind of suck, but on the other hand it gives you incentive to constantly move and see new places, and if you keep doing that no one will find out that you're immortal.

3. You'd be surprised as to what your brain can do. If it finds something to be unimportant, it'll forget it, so I won't ever actually be remembering all of eternity. Once it's 2500 I probably won't remember much from 1990 because it would no longer be relevant to me, past a few key memories.

4. Again, not necessarily true. This would require that the human brain work in a way that it doesn't.

5. If I'm immortal then the rubble will deteriorate before I do, so all I have to do is outlast it.

Also, just to point out, even if the rest of the human race ends up getting wiped out, it would mean very little to me over all. The universe it vast, and I would have all of time. If I have eternity I would be able to one day figure out how to build a space craft, and would leave earth to seek out new planets. Wouldn't have to worry about ever running out of air, food, or water, and wouldn't have to worry about landing on planets with inhospitable climates since I would be immortal. Just think about it. Even with the human race gone, you'll always have something to do.
The bad thing about going to space is that it's very plausible that you could be sucked into the gravitational field of a massive planet like Jupiter which has a surface that is covered in liquid metallic hydrogen. Not only would you be in liquid metal, but the intense gravity would pull you down to the bottom and you would never be able to even lift a finger. Sure its possible that someday the something crazy could destroy the planet and free you, but then what if your pulled into a star or worse a black hole?

I would still eat the gummy bear, but there are some scary things that could happen on earth and some far scarier things that could happen in space. You would be insane by then for sure anyway, but it would still suck balls.
But we don't even know what's inside of black holes. Think about it, you'd be the first person to survive and see what's on the other side. Maybe there's cake!
I'm pretty sure that when your being sucked into a black hole and you get to the event horizon surrounding it you will be able to see all of the past and future at once, so that will be fun. Also it may be that on the other side of a black hole is a white hole that is spewing matter into a new universe and that would be awesome to see. Still things could go wrong what if you find that a black hole is really just a giant alien spider pit.
 

Wuggy

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Jan 14, 2010
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It's a tough choice, but I would have to say no. Life would probably become rather tiresome when you can pretty much achieve anything you want to, because you have an infinity to do it. That and the fact that I'd live even after everything else is gone.

Now if the question was something like... would you like to live for 1000 years, then sure, without hesitation.
 

MrMixelPixel

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Jul 7, 2010
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Yes, yes, one thousand times yes. I'd love to live forever

Every point in that article is a great and proves why I SHOULDN'T want to live forever... but... living.. forever still sounds great.

I don't care... xP. Seeing all that advancement... it'd be sooo grand. Having all that time... it sounds sooo magnificent. Soooo... I'm gonna do it.
 

Joccaren

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Mar 29, 2011
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Yep. I'd take it.
1. Augmentation, or possible future technologies that allow you to evolve like the rest through a cellular overhaul or some crap.

2. Sure they can find out. Maybe not immediately, but if the government wants to get me, let them come. I'll have stocked up on weapons the second my secret gets out, and if they think they're going to get an immortal being loaded with weapons, they have no chance. I'll probably then disappear into the countryside, become an urban myth, and fade into legend as years go by. Then, I'll be all good to just hang round again till the next cycle.

3. I don't remember what happened when I was five, I don't remember half the stuff I did last year, hell, I don't remember what I had for lunch last week. Why would this be any different. Things would eventually fade from my memories, though all my good times would remain.

4. Ummm, you may feel like time is speeding up as you get older, but it never actually gets faster. It still takes an AGE to finish a day, but looking back it seems like less time. And I doubt 50 years would ever feel like a week.

5. I'll grab a future spaceship and fly myself into a black hole. I will die, no ifs or buts about it, and if not, then I'll float frozen and asleep in space, unconscious. Either way, there is an escape.
 

Dirty Hipsters

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TheVioletBandit said:
Dirty Hipsters said:
TheVioletBandit said:
Dirty Hipsters said:
the spud said:
A green kool-aid man from the future shows up at your front door. You let him in (he seems trustworthy enough) and he gives you a box. Inside the box, there is a magic gummi bear that, when eaten, gives whoever ate it immortality. You live forever and cannot be physically harmed or killed. You feel pain, but it is greatly nulled and maxes out at like a 3 on the 1-10 pain-o-meter. Do you eat the gummi bear?

Now at first the answer may seem obvious. "Why wouldn't I eat it?" you may ask. However, I reccomend reading this Cracked article. If your too lazy to read it I will provide a short summary.
1. Evolution will turn you into a freak: Over thousands of years something better, stronger, faster, and smarter will likely develop from humans, leaving you left behind as a freak.

2. Nobody can ever find out: If you've got immortality then everybody will want it. Governments, CEO's, the masses, you name it. And they don't care what they have to do to get it.

3. You're still getting older (mentally): You will be forced to remember everything that happens over the course of infinity, which your brain just isn't built to do.

4. Time speeds up till you're insane: As time flies by, your different friends, loves, and lives slowly fade from your memory, making 50 years seem relatively equal to a saturday night.

5. You will eventually get trapped there forever: Eventually, you will get trapped in a pile of rubble, or the rest of the human race gets wiped out, and you till be trapped there forever.
If you have any questions about that list, read the article. It is way more detailed and well written than the above summary.

So, would you eat the gummi bear?
Hell yes I would eat the gummi bear.

As for all the "downsides"

1. Evolution will turn you into a freak. At the moment it kind of seems like humanity has gone from physical evolution to more of a mental one, since we build tools to help us do things that we would have had to evolve to do previously (like fly). Humanity might actually become mostly immune to physical evolution in the long run, so I'm willing to take that chance.

2. Yeah, that might kind of suck, but on the other hand it gives you incentive to constantly move and see new places, and if you keep doing that no one will find out that you're immortal.

3. You'd be surprised as to what your brain can do. If it finds something to be unimportant, it'll forget it, so I won't ever actually be remembering all of eternity. Once it's 2500 I probably won't remember much from 1990 because it would no longer be relevant to me, past a few key memories.

4. Again, not necessarily true. This would require that the human brain work in a way that it doesn't.

5. If I'm immortal then the rubble will deteriorate before I do, so all I have to do is outlast it.

Also, just to point out, even if the rest of the human race ends up getting wiped out, it would mean very little to me over all. The universe it vast, and I would have all of time. If I have eternity I would be able to one day figure out how to build a space craft, and would leave earth to seek out new planets. Wouldn't have to worry about ever running out of air, food, or water, and wouldn't have to worry about landing on planets with inhospitable climates since I would be immortal. Just think about it. Even with the human race gone, you'll always have something to do.
The bad thing about going to space is that it's very plausible that you could be sucked into the gravitational field of a massive planet like Jupiter which has a surface that is covered in liquid metallic hydrogen. Not only would you be in liquid metal, but the intense gravity would pull you down to the bottom and you would never be able to even lift a finger. Sure its possible that someday the something crazy could destroy the planet and free you, but then what if your pulled into a star or worse a black hole?

I would still eat the gummy bear, but there are some scary things that could happen on earth and some far scarier things that could happen in space. You would be insane by then for sure anyway, but it would still suck balls.
But we don't even know what's inside of black holes. Think about it, you'd be the first person to survive and see what's on the other side. Maybe there's cake!
I'm pretty sure that when your being sucked into a black hole and you get to the event horizon surrounding it you will be able to see all of the past and future at once, so that will be fun. Also it may be that on the other side of a black hole is a white hole that is spewing matter into a new universe and that would be awesome to see. Still things could go wrong what if you find that a black hole is really just a giant alien spider pit.
Then you fight your way out of the spider pit with your bare hands, like a goddamn man! Remember, you're immortal, there is absolutely nothing to fear, the spiders can't hurt you.
 

Alexnader

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May 18, 2009
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That cracked article is silly. I have few memories from a decade ago, I'm not going to get overloaded by memories from a thousand years ago, I'll just forget them.

As for the end of the world... all I'd have to do is earn shit load of money during my endless life and build a spaceship. I'd need no life support except maybe heating and some kind of atmosphere, no food, no water and it doesn't matter if it was slow as all hell because I'm going to live forever anyway. Solar sails my friend. Solar sails.

That way if the world ends before feasible inter stellar travel is invented then at least one of our species is going to go to another solar system. Even if it takes bloody ages. I'll just sleep or something :p

Or I could get a swimming pool's worth of anaesthetic and knock myself out for the duration of the trip and/or forever.
 

Chefodeath

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I was suprised to read the poll results showing 67% of the escapist taking immortality. You're basically buying a few short decades (or centuries, or millenia whatever) of time that you wish death hadnt robbed you of for INFINITE years of time you don't want to be alive for. It would be tormented living death the likes of which are little exceeded by christian images of hell. I guess that means two thirds of the escapist are composed of morons.

Maybe its not that suprising...
 

Asita

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Live for several centuries? Sure. No way to die at all? No thank you.

Don Savik said:
What kind of hipster douchebag answers no? Seriously? LIVING FOREVER. You could rule the world by default, no questions asked. Could get boring? Did imagination die in the past 5 years and I just haven't noticed it or something? Too much depression on this forum. Lighten ups.
You call it being a 'hipster douchebag', I call it having foresight. Boredom is actually the least of the problems. Now, I wouldn't mind living for a few centuries, or even a few millenia, but the 'cannot die' clause is a dealbreaker for me. Some day, many years down the road, life on Earth will cease to exist. Inevitably, this will happen before our sun stops shining (when it hits its Red Giant phase (which is estimated to occur in 5 billion years) it will be large enough to engulf the Earth). In a best case scenario, you'll have started planet hopping by then. Worst case scenario, you'll be stuck on the sun for all eternity. Now, in the best case scenario you're looking at finding a new planet to either colonize (assuming you weren't the only escapee) or take you in as a refugee, which you'd better hope happens before you run out of fuel, or else you'll again find yourself stranded. Either way though, you'll last until and beyond the time where every star in the sky stops burning. At which point you're faced not only with the rest of eternity alone in total darkness. It is this endgame that makes me despise the concept of immortality. I don't hate the idea of living for a very long time, I hate the idea of seeing the last of the stars themselves die while I continue to endure, unable to die myself. If you'd been absurdly good at rationing resources and repairing/inventing tech, you might be able to stave off that result for a while, but it's a losing battle against inevitability.