Poll: Would you date an asexual person?

[Dragonborne88]

Eehhh...this has gotten me into problems in the past I think. I've got a very LOW libido, and never really have sex on the mind when dating somebody. I'm pretty sure that I've had a few people break up with me because of this, but that just leads me to doing it for them, which leaves me not really into it and quitting pretty early.

It doesn't help that I'm super nervous about the act itself, and have a hard time getting over that hurdle. And I've got some stupid notion in my head that sex isn't something I should throw around all the time, I want it to be saved for the person I actually want to have sex with. Not short term flings.

 

[elvor0]

No, while sex isn't everything, it certainly helps, there's no way that I would be able to suppress myself like that.

Also what is it with everyone on this site? I seriously don't believe any of you are actually asexual. Most of them I'm betting are just aint trying, haven't found the right person, are actually gay/lesbian and haven't realised it, or just haven't got their end away yet.

Not that theres anything wrong with any of those things, it just seems the asexuals on this site outnumber everyone about 2:1, it's supposed to be very rare, unless you've ACTUALLY been classed as asexual, I honestly wouldn't spout it all the time, you're just confused sexually, which is fine, or you just have a low libido, which is completely different to being asexual.

 

[D Moness]

-Snip-

whith atraction i obviously meant sexual atraction. but hey, whatever works for you two and makes you happy. though i'm still certain that you miss out on something which's beauty you can't comprehend.

I feel sorry for people that think a relationship is all about sex and that sexual attraction is the most important thing in the world. I get it, it is important to you but we are not all the same.

Also why are people surprised other might not have the same interest in sex like they have (or have non at all) different people have different urges/lust/sex drives.

 

[Leg End]

I'm nonsexual, not a stone.

XDXDXDXDXD

Do we have a badge for making me spew Tampico on my TV? XDXDXD

OT: Of course I would.

Hell, say I was to... date Sakura~

Her overall naivete and innocence would mean absolutely no sexual interest of any kind on her part and absolutely guarantee that no sexual interaction would take place. :/

I wouldn't want it any other way~

 

[8-Bit Grin]

No.

As harsh as it sounds... no boner, no relationship.

He speaks the biting truth.

 

[Fetzenfisch]

Dont see a reason to. Seriously.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

-Snip-

whith atraction i obviously meant sexual atraction. but hey, whatever works for you two and makes you happy. though i'm still certain that you miss out on something which's beauty you can't comprehend.

Oh, trust me, I can comprehend beauty when I see it.
I have seen such sights as to bring tears to my eyes, and even the aged memories are enough to repeat that.
I can appreciate the human form, but it will never be enough to do the same that the world itself has shown me.
Sex is boring, but I really like cute things. I guess that is as close as I get.
When things get sexual, I get bored. When they get cute, they get taken home with me.
Well, anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, as they say.

 

[Gormers1]

Eehhh...this has gotten me into problems in the past I think. I've got a very LOW libido, and never really have sex on the mind when dating somebody. I'm pretty sure that I've had a few people break up with me because of this, but that just leads me to doing it for them, which leaves me not really into it and quitting pretty early.

It doesn't help that I'm super nervous about the act itself, and have a hard time getting over that hurdle. And I've got some stupid notion in my head that sex isn't something I should throw around all the time, I want it to be saved for the person I actually want to have sex with. Not short term flings.

It shouldnt be too hard to find someone with a libido that matches you nicely enough, it certainly isnt uncommon to have a low libido anyways.

You want it to be saved for persons you want to have sex with ? That makes sense, limiting that to people you want to stay with long term on the other hand, does not (imo).

-Snip-

whith atraction i obviously meant sexual atraction. but hey, whatever works for you two and makes you happy. though i'm still certain that you miss out on something which's beauty you can't comprehend.

People who like to play cops and robbers in gimp suites in dark basements probably thinks youre missing out as well.

 

[Plazmatic]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

You don't mention why they wouldn't be able to have sex. sorry but /thread.

They'd be capable, but they would have absolutely no sex drive. Maybe you could convince them to but it probably wouldn't happen. so not "/thread"

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Are you from SRK?

I don't even know what that is...

#1 this is still to late, and thus still /thread

#2 why would they not have a sex drive/desire to have sex? One does not only want to have sex to have babies. It is hugely recreational, and has been since man kinds beginnings. so second /thread.

 

[Leg End]

-Snip-
being apreciated and found beautyfull and atracting by the person i love, and finding him atractive and apreciating his physical beauty is nothing i would consider to be bad. you would understand if you could feel the same way about someone you love.

that's another thing i wondered, how does your partner cope with that you don't find him atractive in this kind of way? i mean, he IS a guy after all (i assume) and no matter what they tell you, this kind of thing IS important for them..

You seem to assume that I am somewhat blind.
I'm nonsexual. I have no interest in sex.
I never said I am unable to appreciate the looks of the person I love.
I love him. He could look like Quasimodo for all I care about looks, since I love him as a person, not as an object with genitalia attached for fun.
But I can appreciate the looks he does have.
As for what my boyfriend thinks, why don't you ask him yourself [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/forums/read/18.272598-Poll-Would-you-date-an-asexual-person?page=5#10515333]?

I never knew you two were dating!

I'll plan the wedding!

I wouldnt date a asexual person. When I get into a relationship I expect commitment and at 20, sex IS unavoidable which is why I wouldn't date one because I refuse to go through the shit I had with my ex 2 years ago. (Im a highly effectionate person)

You do realize physical Affection does not warrant sex, right? :/

I may be the prime example of this. :/

 

[D Moness]

When they get cute, they get taken home with me.

OT Well that explains your avatar

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

-Snip-
I never knew you two were dating!

I'll plan the wedding!

We've been together since... I really should memorise dates...
Perhaps September or October of last year.
We'll be meeting each other later this year, when he visits Albion <3
Hopefully all will go to plan to allow that, anyway.
Need to get a source of income >.>

 

[funguy2121]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Hell, no. Why have a relationship wherein you can't take part in the highest expression of intimacy?

 

[Leg End]

When they get cute, they get taken home with me.

OT Well that explains your avatar

Indeed it does. :/

-Snip-
I never knew you two were dating!

I'll plan the wedding!

We've been together since... I really should memorise dates...
Perhaps September or October of last year.
We'll be meeting each other later this year, when he visits Albion <3
Hopefully all will go to plan to allow that, anyway.
Need to get a source of income >.>

My wallet is yours.

 

[ReservoirAngel]

No, I really couldn't. I hate myself for being this shallow about it, but I just couldn't.

I don't care how it makes me look, but sex is a big part of my relationship. I couldn't NOT have regular sex. So an asexual person is just a no-go for me, cause I wouldn't trust myself not to go out and get my sex somewhere else.

 

[Leg End]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Hell, no. Why have a relationship wherein you can't take part in the highest expression of intimacy?

But you CAN hug people if you are Asexual. :/

 

[minuialear]

*snip*The latter goes both ways.

Well put and I agree. Just to be arguing and raise a question though: when do you think its the right time to tell a person you have interested in, that you have no interest in having sex? First date? Would it be selfish and/or manipulative to wait a little bit in hopes that the person will be more likely to stay?

I think it depends on the people in question; I can easily imagine that for many asexuals, it's hard to be sure one is actually asexual (as opposed to just having a low sex drive, or only having a desire for sex once an otherwise intimate relationship has been established). The only way to test this out is to be in a relationship long enough such that you can verify that your desire to not have sex isn't due to a lack of connection with your partner or something else that comes and goes. In such cases I'd imagine it'd be more dangerous than it's worth to tell someone you may be asexual right from the start (based on the assumptions made in this thread alone, it's not hard to imagine why), because there's always the possibility that you eventually do develop sexual feelings for the person, but that they dump you before those feelings manifest in a relationship. Additionally, I'd imagine a lot of asexuals are in denial about their sexuality ("I just need to find the right person"), which complicates things.

So I guess this is a long-winded way of saying that I don't think the selfishness would necessarily come from not saying one is asexual, due to the complexity of even labeling oneself as asexual in the first place. Selfishness would come instead from one partner's refusal to help the other get what (s)he needs; if the asexual refuses to have sex, refuses to let the other partner get sex elsewhere, and refuses to listen to the sexual person when (s)he says she needs some sort of sexual stimulation before (s)he goes berserk, then the asexual partner would be selfish. And if the reason they didn't speak up was precisely to try to trap their partner, that would obviously also be selfishness (although in that case it's because of intent, not because of the not divulging that information part).

 

[Dragonborne88]

It shouldnt be too hard to find someone with a libido that matches you nicely enough, it certainly isnt uncommon to have a low libido anyways.

You want it to be saved for persons you want to have sex with ? That makes sense, limiting that to people you want to stay with long term on the other hand, does not (imo).

I did mean the latter, but I know that it doesn't really make sense...

I guess it doesn't help the last few "relationships" I was in were with high libido people, and those all ended on rough notes, so I kind of hold a negative light on that now. *shudder* I was a stupid, stupid young man.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

-Snip-

My wallet is yours.

Funnily enough, I just got a Hanyuu figurine recently, like monday, or saturday.
She is sooo cuuuteee!
I wish I had a plushie of her to cuddle ;~;
As it is, I have various teddies, and a plushie of Miku Hachune.
[small]Cuuuteee...[/small]

Edit: Also, the amount of people who just assume that asexual/nonsexual people CAN'T UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES EVER HAVE SEX is just astounding.

 

[rockyoumonkeys]

Nope. If they're asexual, then being friends is probably enough.