Poll: Would you date an asexual person?

[ReservoirAngel]

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

 

[Katherine Kerensky]

This seems like the right place to put this: asexual people confuse the ever-loving shit out of me. Seriously, it just baffles my mind. How can you be a human being and NOT want sex of any kind at any time?

Very easily. I'm doing it right now.
Although, it must be said, this is not by choice. I just woke up like this.
Perhaps I asked for it, perhaps not, but it happened. Doesn't make me any less human, just like being gay does not make you less human.
Just that our tastes are different. Kinda.
Or, perhaps I am not human. Maybe I am just an alien construct made to replace a human, and they couldn't figure out the last bits of wiring.

 

[Leg End]

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

You have never been in touch with your affectionate, non-sexual side before. :/

Works wonders. I'm in it about 99-100% of the time.

When I'm not, I have hands for a reason. >.>

 

[ReservoirAngel]

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

You have never been in touch with your affectionate, non-sexual side before. :/

Works wonders. I'm in it about 99-100% of the time.

When I'm not, I have hands for a reason. >.>

I don't have that side. My affectionate side is well and truly hand-in-hand with sexual side.

 

[Leg End]

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

You have never been in touch with your affectionate, non-sexual side before. :/

Works wonders. I'm in it about 99-100% of the time.

When I'm not, I have hands for a reason. >.>

I don't have that side. My affectionate side is well and truly hand-in-hand with sexual side.

Well, that is sad. :/

I love me a hug.

 

[adamtm]

I would have a problem with that, as I am a sexual, or at least demi-sexual. I expect an intimate physical relationship with my partner. So dating an asexual would be extremely difficult if not impossible if they would decline all sex -ever-. And even if they dont, just playing a log in bed would make me feel extremely bad, forcing my intimacy on someone would actually be even worse.
So i have to give it a resounding, no.

But, altogether to each his own, as long as this fact is clear from the first moment.

Really what i have a problem with are a few behaviors though:

1. Asexual people going to bars and clubs, and then getting in a hissyfit because you are hitting on them. Sorry to tell you but 99% of humanity is sexual, you will be (sexually) hit on by everyone in a social context.
Deal with it.

2. going into relationship while not telling the partner about your asexuality. This is incredibly dishonest.

3. Asexuals acting like they are somehow "better" because they do not play with their genitalia. This is the most infuriating thing. I get so pissed off reading AVEN forums with all the jackasses comparing themselves to angels and whatnot. Being the "purer" and "better" humans.
Well hello racism.

4. 15-20 year olds that decide they are asexual for the sake of being non-conformist.

 

[adamtm]

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

You have never been in touch with your affectionate, non-sexual side before. :/

Works wonders. I'm in it about 99-100% of the time.

When I'm not, I have hands for a reason. >.>

I don't have that side. My affectionate side is well and truly hand-in-hand with sexual side.

Well, that is sad. :/

I love me a hug.

why the fuck is that "sad"?

 

[ReservoirAngel]

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

You have never been in touch with your affectionate, non-sexual side before. :/

Works wonders. I'm in it about 99-100% of the time.

When I'm not, I have hands for a reason. >.>

I don't have that side. My affectionate side is well and truly hand-in-hand with sexual side.

Well, that is sad. :/

I love me a hug.

So I do. It's not like I CAN'T experience affection without it having to be about sex, it's just that sex is the natural extreme of such feelings. I couldn't only settle for just hugs and kisses for the rest of my life. I kind of NEED sex.

 

[DRSH1989]

asexual?! = people who don't wanna fuck?! sex is by no means a major part of any long term relationship... but it helps.

 

[Leg End]

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

You have never been in touch with your affectionate, non-sexual side before. :/

Works wonders. I'm in it about 99-100% of the time.

When I'm not, I have hands for a reason. >.>

I don't have that side. My affectionate side is well and truly hand-in-hand with sexual side.

Well, that is sad. :/

I love me a hug.

why the fuck is that "sad"?

Ehh, it was kind of a shot at everyone saying being asexual is "sad". :/

Besides, hugs are better.

I once had someone tell me that and they actually meant it seriously. There's just no way a hug can be better than a good railing. No chance.

You have never been in touch with your affectionate, non-sexual side before. :/

Works wonders. I'm in it about 99-100% of the time.

When I'm not, I have hands for a reason. >.>

I don't have that side. My affectionate side is well and truly hand-in-hand with sexual side.

Well, that is sad. :/

I love me a hug.

So I do. It's not like I CAN'T experience affection without it having to be about sex, it's just that sex is the natural extreme of such feelings. I couldn't only settle for just hugs and kisses for the rest of my life. I kind of NEED sex.

I need hugs. :/

Without them, I asplode.

 

[DisturbiaWolf13]

If I was in love with them then yes I would. It would be challenging, but worth it to be with the person I love.

 

[Skjalg Kreutzer]

Heteroromantic asexual? You mean theres actual terminology for this stuff? I hate the world...

 

[ReservoirAngel]

]I need hugs. :/

Without them, I asplode.

Yeah I'm the same with sex. If I don't get my regular fill (no pun intended) I don't know what would happen...something bad, I assume.

 

[adamtm]

Ehh, it was kind of a shot at everyone saying being asexual is "sad". :/

Sexuals and Asexuals dont understand eachother, its just something we need to acknowledge.

For a sexual, intimacy, sex, and affection are inseparable from eachother.

Asexuals do separate them, nay, you say sex and intimacy are completely irrelevant for their emotional state. Well for sexuals they aren't.

 

[spartan231490]

Let's say you meet an asexual guy/girl who is heteromantic/homoromantic (Depending on your gender/sexual orientation). The two of you get along great and develop feelings for each other, do you think you could engage in a long term relationship with someone even if the two of you will probably never have sex?

Since "romantic relationships," are really just close friendships with sexual components, no. There's no point. I would be close friends, best friends, just like siblings even, but there is no possibility for a romantic relationship, because romantic relationship is just a euphemism for sexual relationship.
So basically, you would be condemning yourself to being asexual, for no reason. I don't want to be asexual, and I gain no greater intimacy from calling my friendship with the person a romantic relationship.

 

[Iorio Braga]

Ugh, the lack of understanding in this thread upsets me.

An asexual person that wants to date is likely has a romantic orientation. I'm homoromantic, I'm attracted to other men, and I want to go on dates, kiss, cuddle, but I don't really want to go any further. Maybe at some point when I'm very comfortable with a person I'll try it.

I can totally understand asexuality being a deal-breaker, especially in our sexually charged culture, but I want people who read this thread to understand that some asexuals DO find other people physically attractive, they DO form strong emotional bonds, and they DO want something a little stronger than just friendship. They just don't want sex.

I wont blame anyone I date if they don't want to be monogamous or don't want to continue dating. I will be understanding, and I think most asexuals will understand the position that they are in.

You should be a little more understanding too.

Dear friend, perhaps you should try to take this discussion less personally, despite the topic being so close to you. Assexuality is a extremely recent discovery in sexuality, and being so, cannot demand such understanding. Most of the people keeping up with this thread (myself included) are doing so out of sheer curiosity in understanding in a greater depth what asexuality means, and how does it compare to simply an undeveloped sexual drive (such as in most childs). This is not as if trying to understand someone's choices, or preferences. This is like trying to learn a extraterrestrial language.
The most important thing to debate here is on the question that initially began the discussion. If both people involved in the relationship are asexual, then there's not really any conflict in this. Most people are open minded enough to consider a couple that does not have sex, if they both don't want to. But in this case the great question is whether a person with a average sex drive would forfeit their own sex drive to maintain a platonic relationship with someone else. And to most people that's just impossible. In this point you are the one that should be more understanding.
To a ordinary heterosexual that which you described is nothing more that a regular friendship. I know that to you they are worlds apart, but that's because you have a very different standard to create that concept. It's the same way as eskimos have several names for snow and desert people, several names for sand, and most other people simply see these things as one dimensional concepts.
To get back on the question itself, I have a very high sex drive. My girlfriend barely keeps up as it is. A asexual relationship to me seems like a very dark nightmare. But this is no surprise. Obvioulsy there'd be almost no conflict in the scenario described if both people were asexuals.
The great discussion is if a couple that consists of a person with a regular sex drive and another with almost-to none could last. But, the greatest question in my mind is how a asexual person gets to become attracted to another. Is this person more interested in other asexuals or would she be interested in people with a different sex drive? Does this matter to them? If the person have a different sex drive, would they be expected to keep it under check at all times? And if so, would the asexual person feel no remorse for this situation? If I were to have sex with a person unwilling to do it, I would feel terrible. As if I just had abused her sexually. Does a asexual have a similar remorse, if he feels that his significant other wishes for sexual intercourse and is denied of that?
I think that this is a very complex subject, but I'm glad to see it being discussed of all places in The Escapist, given the high education and politeness of all members. And so far I think that the whole debate has all parts being very understanding of one another (as much as it is possible). As I said in the beggining, do try no to take the discussion so personally.

Can't have sex when you're deployed, so sure, it'd be great to know there's someone who's in it for the intellectual stimulation, not simply a physical thing, and they won't cheat while you're off on the line.

Sir, I think that in all this discussion, you might have made the greatest breaktrough. You actually gave a perfect example as a person with a regular sex drive, under a especific situation, could make the most out of a relationship with a asexual individual. I would never have thought of it and it was so simple...

Well, that's all I have in my mind. Keep this high level of education up!

 

[Hap2]

most people claiming to be asexual have no clue anyway, sorry if that sounds offensive. i guess most are just not getting any / have an unstatisfactory sexlive and for that engage in this protective excuse. "i don't have sex, but, but...i don't even WANT your stupid sex, hah!"
that or they try to pretend to be superior by showing that they are not slave to their drives and instincts so to speak.
sorry if this sounds harsh but no way there is that many realy asexuals here.

as for the thread: no, i wouldn't. sex is one of the most important parts of an romantic relatonship and, let's face it, way to much fun.

Sounds offensive? It IS offensive, what makes you so sure about your sexuality? Do you have to have sex with a bear before you know you're not attracted to them? Do you have to put a dirty sock in your mouth before you know it isn't tasty? Same thing goes here, it is something intuitive to the person, only they themselves will know for sure.

And who here has been pretending or stating that they're superior? There are around a dozen or so asexuals that have posted here (out of how many people on the forum?); obviously in a thread about asexuality, a thread that relates to them, they're going to show up and chat. We're the same as anyone else, we're human, we simply aren't sexually attracted to other people. There are asexuals with little to no libido, and there are asexuals who have a high libido that masturbate. The main difference between us and any other orientation is that it is not directed towards anyone in general, that's all. People are not defined by the labels they give themselves, nor do labels define a person, they describe a trait, or an aspect, not the whole.

 

[Leg End]

]I need hugs. :/

Without them, I asplode.

Yeah I'm the same with sex. If I don't get my regular fill (no pun intended) I don't know what would happen...something bad, I assume.

Which is why hands are there when someone isn't.

Solo hugging.

I need hugs. :/

Without them, I asplode.

Quick nobody hug him.

<.<

To be precise, I need hugs from Sakura.

If I don't get hugs or am not within her presence for a prolonged period of time, I explode and implode, then acting as a black hole. :/

Or, this planet is engulfed in a dark, gloomy state, raining. With Void Walkers taking over.

So, for the sake of humanity, it is best I get mah hugs or am at least within 5-25 feet of her.

<.<

Do not deprive me mortals, of whom I love.