Poll: Would you date an asexual person?
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Asexual doesn't mean they never have sex. It just means they don't desire it the way most people do.
So you could have sex with an asexual, they're just going to be underwhelmed by it.
It's a tough call. On the one hand, sex isn't everything to a relationship. On the other, it is very important to most people. You can say that it would be unfair for a sexual person to expect their asexual partner to have sex, but wouldn't it be just as unfair for the asexual one to expect their partner to refrain from sex as well?
Personally, I think it would take a very specific pair of people to pull off a sexual/asexual relationship. Either they're both going to have to be ok with having sex anyway, or they're both going to have to be ok with the sexual one having a lover on the side. I can't see a sexual person being happy in a completely sexless life, otherwise they'd be asexual as well.
So you could have sex with an asexual, they're just going to be underwhelmed by it.
It's a tough call. On the one hand, sex isn't everything to a relationship. On the other, it is very important to most people. You can say that it would be unfair for a sexual person to expect their asexual partner to have sex, but wouldn't it be just as unfair for the asexual one to expect their partner to refrain from sex as well?
Personally, I think it would take a very specific pair of people to pull off a sexual/asexual relationship. Either they're both going to have to be ok with having sex anyway, or they're both going to have to be ok with the sexual one having a lover on the side. I can't see a sexual person being happy in a completely sexless life, otherwise they'd be asexual as well.
I'm pretty sure sex if the point of human dating.
Some horrible mutants will claim it's down to this thing called 'wuv', but I have no idea what that is or how you contract it.
Some horrible mutants will claim it's down to this thing called 'wuv', but I have no idea what that is or how you contract it.
Being asexual, I think I'd actually prefer dating another asexual.
Although I think dating is pointless, so I wouldn't date at all.
Although I think dating is pointless, so I wouldn't date at all.
Sure thing.Eldarion said:
Bisexuality means that you can be attracted to and can be with a male or a female.
Pansexuality means that you can be attracted to and can be with a male, a female, a transgender person, a hermaphrodite and whatever else there might be that I don't know the name of.
Umm... so you're asking if I would date a person that isn't attracted to me at all? The answer is no. Hell no. You see, there's this thing I have. I like to call it self-esteem. It results in me desiring relationships based around mutual attraction. Well, actually the self-esteem bit just results in me wanting the other person to be attracted to me. It's the not being a raging douche-bag that results in me wanting to be in a relationship with someone I find attractive, because it's a total dick move to deign to date someone you feel is below you and then spend the rest of your life lording it over them.
I'm sure there are some awesome asexual people out there, and I'd gladly be friends with them, but I'm not going to get into a monogamous relationship with someone that doesn't want sex. What would be the point? What's even the appeal? The whole idea basically just boils down to being somebody's friend and then promising to never have sex. That's dumb. Well, unless you want to have sex anyway, and having sex with someone that doesn't find you attractive is even dumber.
I'm sure there are some awesome asexual people out there, and I'd gladly be friends with them, but I'm not going to get into a monogamous relationship with someone that doesn't want sex. What would be the point? What's even the appeal? The whole idea basically just boils down to being somebody's friend and then promising to never have sex. That's dumb. Well, unless you want to have sex anyway, and having sex with someone that doesn't find you attractive is even dumber.
Yes, I could see a romantic relationship working even without sex, actually I had a previous relationship with an asexual girl when I was younger, she was a sweet one though.
How many asexual people have you actually talked to? Asexuals are as human and as diverse in their interests as everyone else and you might want to do a bit of research before generalizing and stereotyping us into a derogatory category. You might want to go to the AVEN forum itself, it's one of the larger places for asexuals to chat and debate on the web. I happen to be an artist, a philosopher, an avid weightlifter and cyclist, and absolutely nuts about my project car.Verlander said:
Asexuality is lack of sexual attraction, nothing more nothing less. I know I am asexual from my experiences and intuitive feelings, I have never felt sexually attracted to anyone, including a person I fell in love with, there was never a thought nor a desire to ever "jump her bones" so to speak.
The 1% estimation is based on a very old study called the Kinsey report (old enough that it was old when George Bataille talked about it). Obviously it is not going to be an even distribution throughout the population, as some areas will have more asexuals, with some having less, there's no real efficient way to determine the actual number right now. Some people are even indifferent about their lack of sexual attraction to anyone that they don't notice it unless the conception of asexuality as an orientation is introduced to them, so they might not identify as asexual.
Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are never necessarily the same. I am a hetero romantic asexual, hence, I am romantically attracted to the opposite gender (I do indeed 'fall in love', for the layman). Aromantic people do not become romantically attracted to any gender, often their relationships stay fairly platonic. It is quite possible to have homoromantic heterosexuals or hetero romantic homosexuals (which could account for some people who identify as bisexual, and even aromantic sexual people as well. It really depends on the person, human sexuality and gender are very diverse. Many people often use their own combination of romantic attraction and sexual attraction as the norm (hence all the people believing a relationship requires sex as well as love when it doesn't have to be the case). Why they do that is a whole other bag of worms with metaphysical and psychological implications that I don't want to get into right now (suffice to say it would require a lot of writing and I'm busy with essays on Hegel and Foucault right now).
Not everyone has a need for sex, full stop. I do not, never have, perhaps never will, and there are plenty enough people around that will say the same. It would be best if you didn't go around assuming the rest of overall Reality catered to your particular perspective and situation. It comes across as offensive, and oppressive.LightspeedJack said:
Also, to finish off this post, someone had asked about masturbation and asexuality. There is a difference between the action of sex and sexual attraction. A graphic example is rape, the victim is usually not sexually attracted to their attacker during the act. Some asexuals that I know have said that the moment anything enters their mind during masturbation can often turn them off completely. Some asexuals become really bored during sex, and some just enjoy the feeling. Some others have sex simply to please their partner. One does not have to be sexually attracted to someone for their genitals to function like everybody else's. Asexuals just don't have the drive or desire to use them with anybody else, we're not sexually attracted to anyone.
I think the problem that lies here is that people absolutize asexuality, believing that every sexuality has to be some perfect absolute ideal of an entire person when it really isn't the case, human sexual diversity is just too incredibly vast to put everyone into tidy little boxes like that. Each sexuality concept is more or less a generalization with a single common trait that is shared amongst the group. In the case of asexuality, it is the lack of sexual attraction. That's the only thing that distinguishes asexuals from people of other orientations.
To get back to the original topic, yes, I wouldn't mind being in a relationship again, especially with another asexual. Not right now though, I don't have the time, I've got so much stuff to do in my life on my own before I want to share it with someone else.
No way. Sex in a huge part of a relationship, at least for me. I can't see one working without it.
I don't understand why we need another label for that. I just assume a transsexual person counts as whatever gender they are trying to be. So it fits under bisexuality as far as I'm concerned. If I am attracted to either male of female partners a hermaphrodite doesn't seem like much of a leap, so that fits too.Lambi said:
Maybe I'm thinking about this to much.
LoL according to the wiki article, I'm transgendered because I believe that male-female gender roles imposed by society are outdated and need to go. I didn't know that either.
Probably not. I'm a big supporter of FWB, but I do think that sex is an important part of an emotional, romantic relationship.
When sex is just about desire, fine, but it can be about connection as well. So for me, a VERY sexually driven person, not being to physically express my feelings for my significant other would probably be emotionally painful.
Not to mention that it would basically mean no sex whatsoever(Unless she wasn't expecting monogamy, which would fix one problem but not all of them, and open up another can of worms), which would result in the temptation to be disloyal.
When sex is just about desire, fine, but it can be about connection as well. So for me, a VERY sexually driven person, not being to physically express my feelings for my significant other would probably be emotionally painful.
Not to mention that it would basically mean no sex whatsoever(Unless she wasn't expecting monogamy, which would fix one problem but not all of them, and open up another can of worms), which would result in the temptation to be disloyal.
So you can honestly tell me you've never looked at a person and thought "I'd tap that"?Hap2 said:
does the fact that i may not have sex with a girl mean i don't love her? you can love someone without all that, and i've been doing just that for years. but then i hear the slutty chick in class talk about all the sex she has with her boyfriend, and they break up two days later, she's heartbroken, and he moves on an hour later. sex is not love, love is not sex. the two are often confused by people who think with their dick and shit with their mouth -_-
Generally speaking? No. Now that said I'd be willing to entertain the idea, very much depending on the person, but that's a pretty big hurdle to get past. It's also kind of a selfish hurdle on the part of the asexual person. "Well I'm asexual and we're in a relationship, so that means you have to be asexual too. Deal with it." ...C'mon. Seems pretty unfair.
I do find the division between heter/homo-romantic and *-sexual interesting. First I've heard of that split. So where exactly does the line come down? I'm attracted to X people, but said attraction stops at a certain point? I admit I do not quite understand.
I do find the division between heter/homo-romantic and *-sexual interesting. First I've heard of that split. So where exactly does the line come down? I'm attracted to X people, but said attraction stops at a certain point? I admit I do not quite understand.