Poll: Would you Rather

[frizzlebyte]

As a guy, I think I'd rather change gender every time I sneeze, because I have some control over it. I could just induce another sneeze if I happened to change to female when I needed to be male.

It would make sex quite interesting too, which is the honest reason I chose it. XD

 

[DoomyMcDoom]

Well, I don't generally eat muffins, or babies for that matter, all I would have to do to adapt to that change would be to pretend that I found muffins cute for some reason and BAM normal living.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

Male, Gender Sneezes no question.

I don't even care that much about muffins, the insane gender fluidity just sounds like way too much fun.

The possibility of wacky hijinks from sneezing while in bed with some. Endless possibilities.

EDIT: OP, don't forget to take the internet's answers with a grain of salt. We tend to be far more deviant and interesting in the brain than real people.

I don't particularly want to run the risk of eating a baby. Unprepared meat and all that...

[sub/]i like your avatar[/sub]

 

[Hero of Lime]

Male, I pick gender swap sneezes. All I have to do is carry some pepper around with me at all times and not worry about being stuck as a woman for too long. This may be one of the weirdest questions I've been asked.

 

[Alcom1]

Incidentally I sneeze at bright lights or the sun... usually twice but it's not guaranteed.

Baby muffins, though I would have to make certain that my gender sneezing condition was publicly known so I wouldn't have to deal with the gasping attention of having unpredictably and supernaturally switched gender. The baby muffins thing I could avoid by never eating a muffin. I avoid babies anyways.

I'm not too concerned with the plain concept of switching gender or sex (I know the difference), in fact I'm certain I could have piles of fun with it.

 

[Zhukov]

I think I could cope with either.

For gender sneezes, I'd make it a habit to carry pepper with me wherever I went. So if I find myself inconveniently sporting wide hips and a bitchin' rack inside my suddenly ill-fitting guy clothes I could just sprinkle some pepper down my nose and sneeze the situation away.

For baby muffins, I'd just never eat muffins.

So, uh... baby muffins I guess.

 

[Drummodino]

Well I've always been curious as to what being female would be like. Also definitely don't want to accidentally eat a baby... that would probably end up with me getting murdered.

 

[MrHide-Patten]

Male; Change Gender, because...

I always sneeze in pairs. Don't know why but it does.

 

[New Troll]

So... would I rather be able to have an evil persona? Or not get to enjoy time with my children? Evil wins yet again!

 

[viranimus]

This muffin is heavenly... Do I detect just a hint of Rosemary and Timmy? Would you share the recipe, I would love to try making my own batch.

Captcha: Turn so you don't burn.
V: OOH, good cooking advice. Thanks.

 

[Bellvedere]

I'd go for baby muffins. Seems inconvenient and potentially disrupting to change genders all the time. Imagine sneezing during sex... I don't even know where everything would end up...

I figure that someone would tell me if I was about to eat their baby though. Plus it's not like I go round stealing muffins or picking them up off the ground, nor is it the case that babies are sold in bakeries.

 

[Asita]

Male, gender swap, no question. I don't even eat muffins that often, but I just don't want to have to deal with that uncertainty.

"Ya hungry? Hey let me toss ya a muffin!" "DEAR GOD NO THAT'S MY BABY!" "Really? Eh...heh heh...whoops."

"Oh what a cute kid" "...You're mocking me, aren't you?" "...That's a muffin isn't it?" *beat* "Well, you see I have this condition..."

To say nothing of the fact that I'd just as soon NOT risk becoming an accidental cannibal or perceive everyone else as such ("Lemme just take those babies out of the oven" "Please tell me you're using that as a metaphor" "Dude, do these LOOK like babies? "...Yes.") So yeah, gender swap for me.

 

[Adept Mechanicus]

Gender sneezing. Both choices are pretty problematic, but only the baby option is likely to lead to me eating a human child, so probably best to avoid that. I gotta say, I thought this poll was the beginning of some kind of absurdist poetry experiment. I like that the explanation for why we're being asked this question doesn't actually explain how the author arrived at this question in the first place, which seems like a more pertinent question to me.

 

[DestinyCall]

As long as I'm aware of the problem, I'd rather have the baby/muffins. I just swear off eating muffins and avoid babysitting requests. It might lead to the occasional awkward moment when I walk past a crying muffin and everyone gets upset because I didn't try to sooth the baby, but at least I don't have to worry about random gender re-assignment at work or while having sex.

If I was unaware of my inability to distinguish muffins from babies, then gender swapping might be the safer option to avoid making a horrible mistake.

 

[Fox12]

Simple enough, just ask a woman if that's a muffin or a baby.
"Mam, if you're being sarcastic, I WILL eat your baby." Dead faced stare.

On the other hand it would make watching OTHER people eat muffins really awkward.

 

[Joccaren]

Male. I don't really care what my body's gender is. I can do fun stuff with it either way, so... Obviously gender sneezing. Would be interesting, and worst case I can do something to make myself sneeze and change back if I have to - always carry around a pack of things that give me hay fever, or pepper or something to be safe I guess.

 

[Kaymish]

gender sneezing obviously i can get all the benefits of being a man while all the benefits of being a woman are just a sneeze away
plus a baby is way bigger than a muffin and i don't want to get short changed by eating a muffin when i could have been eating a baby
and thirdly sneezes are not difficult to induce just need a lot of pepper or saw dust which in my industry is not hard to come by

 

[DanielBrown]

Gender sneezing. I wouldn't like it, however the thought of eating babies by mistake seems way too horrible to justify anything else.

Best hypothetical question I've ever seen, though it lacks whirlpools.

 

[Callate]

I can intentionally sneeze, and I'm around a fair number of babies these days, so... Not a hard call.

(I would have a hard time figuring out how to hold a muffin properly so as to support the head.)

 

[Trippy Turtle]

I'd pay to have the gender sneezes. Hell I'd eat muffin babies if I could have them. And I don't like muffins or babies.