Poll: You and cooking
- Thread starter Da Orky Man
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My dad isn't a bad cook, my mum, though, pretty meh. I like cooking, because I take pride in getting stuff perfect, which works considering how fussy I am. Therefore, I like cooking for myself, but it's never anything beyond a fry. I'd say my cooking skills mostly came from my borderline obsessive-compulsive dad. If I was more adventurous I could probably get better, but I'm no Jamie Oliver.
I love cooking. I grow all my own herbs (not code), brew all my own beer and wine, and guard my kitchen as fiercely as other guys will guard their tool sheds. I wouldn't describe myself as 'excellent', but I do think I'm better than 'reasonable'. There's something almost therapeutic about taking simple ingredients and making something delicious.
I demand a 'pretty bloody good, actually' poll option!
[sub]Or would if I hadn't already plumped for 'reasonable'.[/sub]
I demand a 'pretty bloody good, actually' poll option!
[sub]Or would if I hadn't already plumped for 'reasonable'.[/sub]
I think once you acknowledge and accept the fact that you are human, it is absolutely imperative that you put some effort into the physics and art of preparing food that is not only edible, but makes life of yourself and those around you, be they man or beast, a little bit better.
Life is short.
Cooking is simple. Everything on top of that is super.
Not cooking means failing at being human. I only accept very few people that don't at least try to get a grip on, say, half a dozen simple dishes and a wee bit less baked goods. I can accept people that are obese, blind, mute or merry mongoloid, but someone who is not at least a wee bit interested in enjoying food and knowing the very basics of preparing it... I'd rather cuddle with dogs and speak to brick walls, thank you very much.
I can forgive someone that kills someone more easily than someone who chooses not to care about food. Go be an amoeba or a maggot. I don't care.
Life is short.
Cooking is simple. Everything on top of that is super.
Not cooking means failing at being human. I only accept very few people that don't at least try to get a grip on, say, half a dozen simple dishes and a wee bit less baked goods. I can accept people that are obese, blind, mute or merry mongoloid, but someone who is not at least a wee bit interested in enjoying food and knowing the very basics of preparing it... I'd rather cuddle with dogs and speak to brick walls, thank you very much.
I can forgive someone that kills someone more easily than someone who chooses not to care about food. Go be an amoeba or a maggot. I don't care.
I can make a mean bowl of cereal. That's pretty much it. I can also microwave microwavable things.
I'm actually really quite good. The only reason I didn't apply to culinary school is because I'm so slow at it.
I'll put it this way: I made my aunt and uncle's 20th anniversary dinner, and my uncle said they were the best carrots he'd ever eaten, my aunt said they were the best potatoes, my other aunt said the asparagus were actually edible for once in her life, and my other uncle said that the pork was second to none.
I call that a win.
I'll put it this way: I made my aunt and uncle's 20th anniversary dinner, and my uncle said they were the best carrots he'd ever eaten, my aunt said they were the best potatoes, my other aunt said the asparagus were actually edible for once in her life, and my other uncle said that the pork was second to none.
I call that a win.
Well, this may be cheating, but I'm a classically trained chef, so I ranked myself at the top. I don't work in the industry any more (Kitchen Confidential should give you an idea of what it's like. The book, not the show), but I still cook on special occasions. I mainly specialize in strange fusions of asian cuisine. My final project was an asian style tea smoked duck breast. Thanksgivings at my house rock. Right now I'm experimenting with Cajun Fried Rice, which has andouille sausage, the Holy Trinity (onion, green bell peppers, and celery) with a custom spice blend. Still working out the kinks.
I can cook most things from the freezer, so when I move out a weekly shop at Iceland will serve, but I can't do anything more than that. Except Yorkshire puddings, but that's a regional thing.
I always laugh at my brother, who once made a fish finger sandwhich, overcooked it, then threw up after eating it. He is not a good cook. He also once did a box of microwave chips and undercooked them.How? I don't even.
I always laugh at my brother, who once made a fish finger sandwhich, overcooked it, then threw up after eating it. He is not a good cook. He also once did a box of microwave chips and undercooked them.How? I don't even.
I'm pretty damn awesome in the kitchen. There is a bit of story behind it as well.
My grandmother absolutely hated the fact that my grandfather was less than useless in the kitchen and couldn't cook to save his life. She took it upon herself to not only teach her daughter how to cook, as was expected back then, but to also teach her two sons to cook so they would not be as useless as their father when they grew up. Both my dad and my uncle, as a result, are very passionate about good food and making it themselves. My dad then made sure I knew how to cook well as I was growing up as he appreciated what his mother did for him. All of my life my dad has cooked the majority of our family dinners while mum tends to stick to baking.
My grandmother absolutely hated the fact that my grandfather was less than useless in the kitchen and couldn't cook to save his life. She took it upon herself to not only teach her daughter how to cook, as was expected back then, but to also teach her two sons to cook so they would not be as useless as their father when they grew up. Both my dad and my uncle, as a result, are very passionate about good food and making it themselves. My dad then made sure I knew how to cook well as I was growing up as he appreciated what his mother did for him. All of my life my dad has cooked the majority of our family dinners while mum tends to stick to baking.
I have failed to cook ramen.
Yes, really. I'm not joking.
And no, not "real" ramen either. The stuff you buy for 10 cents in pre-made packets.
Yeah. That answer your question?
I'm a rather good baker though, if I do say so myself.
Yes, really. I'm not joking.
And no, not "real" ramen either. The stuff you buy for 10 cents in pre-made packets.
Yeah. That answer your question?
I'm a rather good baker though, if I do say so myself.
reasonable to good and since I have to cook for myself I get to experiment and perfect. Though the main thing is making sure I can do 7 or 8 things well so that I can have a different meal each day. This number includes ready provided curry sauces and the like so when I'm feeling lazy I can just bung that in a pot with some meat and slow cook for 40 minutes with cornflour to thicken the sauce while boiling rice and cheating by using the pilau rice seasoning I have.
Any chance we could get some backstory on this ramen incident? It sounds worthy of remembrance.LiberalSquirrel said:
When I inevitably end up in Hell, Satan will look up from his paperwork, softly laugh and wave his hand towards the door. A demon will escort me to the most beautiful kitchen that has ever existed and TV food judges will watch me cook and judge the results. By the end everyone, even the demon (because he annoyed the boss), will have been tortured by my performace. Once the kitchen has been cleaned, the performace will begin again, and each time shall be slightly more horrific than the last. Word of the horrors that transpire in that kitchen will be told to demon children to frighten them, until the next Chosen One is born, dies and takes my place as the Head Chef of Hell.
On the plus side, I've yet to give myself food poisoning. That may be an unfair metric of my skills though, as it's pretty hard to give yourself food posioning with toast, unless the bread or butter has started to rot.
On the plus side, I've yet to give myself food poisoning. That may be an unfair metric of my skills though, as it's pretty hard to give yourself food posioning with toast, unless the bread or butter has started to rot.
I'm thoroughly rubbish at it. I can do a few mince dishes (Lasagne, Spaghetti, Chili) but that's basically about it. I pretty much lived off of ready meals and take-outs while I was at uni.
I pretty much stick to pasta. Give me instructions and I will be fine, but I really haven't attempted to cook recently. Yeah its just best if I go down the pasta route.
Heh. I can do that, yeah.Da Orky Man said:
I started off well enough. Measure two cups of water, put it in a pot, set it on the stove to boil. That's when things went downhill.
First of all, I lost track of the water. So it was half-boiled-away before I remembered I was boiling water. Then I decided, "well, I'll just have less of the broth, that's okay I guess, I just want to eat ASAP" so I toss the noodle block in there. Then, not too long after, I smell something burning. My water was gone, and the noodle block was scorching.
...And then I ordered pizza. Happy ending!
It took me forever to learn how to flip an omelette before I just went to Betty Crocker for advice. The key is to float the eggs on a ton of butter and to make sure to keep the pan moving over the heat, especially while pouring them into the pan. this helps ensure more even heating which will allow your omelette to come right off the pan. After I learned to do this I must have eaten omelettes every day for like a week.sky14kemea said: