Poll: You get a free wish (from an asshole genie)

[Doclector]

" I wish for cake"

He then gives me poison cake, and I throw it away!

Or...he could teleport me into an aperture science facility. Crap.

 

[maninahat]

I would just add to the end of my wish "... and I want this all done in a manner consistent with what I actually do want and not in a manner that I would disagree with if I knew the full consequences. And that means no changing what it is I want before you grant the wish"

Essentially just tell the genie as part of my wish to fulfill it in a manner that I wouldn't disagree with. So essentially make him work for me.

Then he'd just carry out your wish in a way that you would agree with on face value, but would have indirect repercussions as a consequence of your own short sightedness. AS they are indirect, the genie can't be blamed for betraying your desires, which have all gone fulfilled.

 

[maninahat]

I would wish for unlimited video games. Can't really be fucked up because its simple, yet effective.

he could give you so many video games that you get crushed under their weight.

He'll give you every missing copy of ET.

 

[nicksdrago0]

I wish to be able to grant myself wishs, whilst still being able to continue my life as if I never came across this lamp with the exception of said wish I just granted myself. If any of these said wishs are not detailed enough, any of the additional details following said wish should be considered not harmful to anyone, anything or myself at any point.

Bam, now I have infinite wishes and I can be as vauge as I want about it.

 

[maninahat]

I'd wish he would have to be another person's Genie.

I would wish for the genie to go away and grant someone else a wish

Kim Jong-il just fulfilled his dreams of world domination.

http://www.theblaze.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/06/kim.jpg

Yeah, but how would he if the wish backfires? He'd probably just get transported to mars or something and say that he dominated the (read "a") world

Because his wish is a sub category of your wish. If Kim made the wish on his own accord, without you making him implicitly part of your own wish, it would backfire on him. Of course, Kim could still get his comeuppance some way: perhaps world domination will make him miserable from a lack of objectives in life. Perhaps his gas bill will be huge.

 

[Amaria]

The thread said you only get one wish, but I'll still bite.

The only problem with that wish is that even if you didn't get screwed over in wishes 1 and 2, you operate on the assumption that lawyers are always good people. The genie would find a genocidal racist maniac who happens to be a good lawyer to come to your house. The lawyer obliges and writes you your loophole-free wish, but when he gets his, he wishes to kill every [insert your race here] person in the world.

Ah, I missed that, sorry. If there's only one wish, I suppose I'd just have to skip to wish 2, and try to make a loophole free wish on my own. Basically I'd be doomed.

Hmm... good point on the lawyer, though. In that case I guess I just screwed over a good portion of the world's population. Oops.

I'll have to think of a way around that.

 

[Realitycrash]

Trying to make the wish specific..Is a mistake. A person who spends his entire lifespan (thousands and thousands of years) in a lamp, only to be let out now and then, has had plenty of time of thinking of a proper asshole-response to everything.

 

[maninahat]

" I wish for cake"

He then gives me poison cake, and I throw it away!

Or...he could teleport me into an aperture science facility. Crap.

He takes the phrase to mean "I wish on the behalf of cake". Cake is a minor celebrity pop singer and a total asshole, who ends up gaining world wide popularity. Demented fans tear you apart for souvenirs on hearing that you were the sole person responsible for getting him to be the man he was.

 

[spartan231490]

I would use a very intricate wish. I would write down all the super-powers I want(it's surprisingly short list), and then hand it to him saying: "I wish that I had just drank a potion that would only have the effect of immediately and permanently bestowing all of those abilities to me." Some care would need to be taken when describing the superpowers, but I bet I could come up with a fool-proof list in only an hour or two.

 

[JaceArveduin]

I've played too much Twisted Metal to every actually use a wish XD

 

[Realitycrash]

I would wish for unlimited video games. Can't really be fucked up because its simple, yet effective.

he could give you so many video games that you get crushed under their weight.

He'll give you every missing copy of ET.

Or force you to play the same two video games, over and over again.
The same crappy ones.

 

[Johnny Impact]

As any lawyer can tell you, there is no language so precise it cannot be perverted. Therefore there is no wish you could ever make which the genie would not corrupt. You would be damned: either live with the nagging genie forever, or make a wish and deal with death or disaster.

So essentially your thread is, "You are damned, how do you deal with it." Meaningless question. Being damned is, by definition, something you can't simply deal with. Do I want to die by guillotine or firing squad? Do I want to go to a fiery hell or a drowning hell? I don't much care.

Do I know ahead of time that my wish will be corrupted?

If so, I will deal with the nagging genie for a while, then make a random wish in a moment of anger.

If not, I will make a wish right away -- probably for the powers of Superman or something. Plenty of people have money or good looks, I would want something nobody else had.

 

[Lazy Kitty]

I wish for the ability to alter realities, destroy realities, create new realities and travel between different realities, whenever I want, however I want without any sort of limitations.

*Reads note* (Yes, I actually read the note after typing all that...)

Oh fudge, that would be the only thing I'd wish for.

I'm not sure what I'd wish for, but however he'd corrupt the wish, it can't be worse than what I would do with it.
In fact, I might just wish something to get the consequences.

Though even if this thread allowed it, I would never whish for the power to grant wishes.
I'd just become a genie stuck in a lamp until someone else is stupid enough to make that wish.

 

[General BrEeZy]

wish that...
...
thaaaat...
i dont know. a toilet landed in the middle of the street. what could he do with that? make a nuke come by with it? that or just tell him to beat it.

 

[THE_NAMSU]

"My wish is for you to grant my wish literally when I say "Leave this world," to you, the genie.
Can someone think of a way to twist that?

 

[Android2137]

This comic sums it up pretty well.

That made me laugh so hard! I never thought of that!

But assuming that wish just brings more jerkhat genies... If no one else can see or hear him and he's going to be totally annoying, then humorous sitcom scenario is out of the picture... I'd just wish for a swift and painless end to all existence RIGHT NOW. Let's see if he has the guts. If he does, no one knew it was coming, so they didn't have time to fret and worry and go nuts.

 

[Auninteligentname]

''I wish you would punch yourself!''

Now, what consequences can such a wish create?

 

[Dr. wonderful]

You SO just watched Aladdin right?
I sure did

.

Damn straight I did.

Alright, my wish is to be able to voice anyone and draw very well. No ill effects are needed.

 

[Scarim Coral]

Ha this is how I always view genie well if I even encounter one (the type who turn your wish into a twist).
Anyway I owuld simply wish the genie to given freedom therefore the genie would twist itself? OR would I end up releasing a genie (still got its powers) that will kill everyone on Earth?