Poll: You get a free wish (from an asshole genie)

[Irradiated Tiger]

My wish would be really simple like: I wish for a small cup of water to be put on the ground beside me.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I would wish that my friend could walk again.

ofc the asshole genie would probably make it so his accident never happened and so I would have never met him on WOW.

but it would be okay with me if my friend was happy.

 

[Drakmorg]

I wish for a magical knife that can kill anything.

Then I threaten him with the knife to get my last two wishes exactly right with no dirty tricks or I kill him.

Then I wish for $5 billion and a time-traveling Delorean.

 

[hexFrank202]

Hire a lawyer to word my wish so specifically there is no way he can turn it around.
its the theory of fighting an arsehole with an even bigger arsehole, = win

You can cite where you got that idea, you know. So confident you're the only one on this whole site that watched The Fairly Odd Parents, huh?

 

[pppppppppppppppppp]

"I wish that everybody I ever meet, or ever have met, will, no matter the circumstances, respect me, and that respect could then progressively become affection (in the form of friendship or love) in a way that is congruous with the natural progression of Earth Human of the 21st century AD of the Gregorian Calendar relationships, and find me to be an agreeable person who is worthy of trust, and deserving of any request I could make of them, so long as that request is not made rhetorically, sarcastically, or in such a manner that it would require doing something that they either have no ability (either skill or the means to perform the task easily available according to the judgement they use outside the effects of this wish), or would not have the desire to do so under other circumstances."

Fuck you, genie. THE POWER OF RUN-ON SENTENCES TRUMPS ASSHOLE GENIES.

This could be twisted through the POWER OF ALTERNATE DEFINITIONS.

Affection can mean nothingness [http://www.thefreedictionary.com/affection] (like in tennis scores of "15-Love.)

That said, your wish could be interpreted as, "I wish that everyone I meet will be respect me, and that respect could then progressively become a mental condition (in the form of friendship or nothingness.)

Saying the affection/mental disease can be in the form of friendship or love/nothingness implies that the genie can choose between the two, so he'll always choose the latter in this case. A mental disease in the form of nothingness could mean that those people will have a hollow mind incapable of thought or emotion. Their mind becomes nothingness.

So the rest of your wish works; people do what you say and call you nice, but they would be hollow shells of people, lifeless puppets to you, the only conscious person you're ever allowed to meet. Only by never being in contact with you can a person retain their thoughts and emotions.

If you're okay with that, I guess you got your wish, but if not, then he still wins.

 

[Twilight_guy]

I wish you would go away. I don't know what he will do to mess it up but it seems like the best choice.

 

[Bad Jim]

"I wish that everybody I ever meet, or ever have met, will, no matter the circumstances, respect me, and that respect could then progressively become affection (in the form of friendship or love) in a way that is congruous with the natural progression of Earth Human of the 21st century AD of the Gregorian Calendar relationships, and find me to be an agreeable person who is worthy of trust, and deserving of any request I could make of them, so long as that request is not made rhetorically, sarcastically, or in such a manner that it would require doing something that they either have no ability (either skill or the means to perform the task easily available according to the judgement they use outside the effects of this wish), or would not have the desire to do so under other circumstances."



Fuck you, genie. THE POWER OF RUN-ON SENTENCES TRUMPS ASSHOLE GENIES.

Well, they will certainly respect you after you donated everything you have to charity. That it was all a terrible mistake doesn't need to be mentioned.

 

[Bad Jim]

---- Double post sorry ----

 

[ShindoL Shill]

Hire a lawyer to word my wish so specifically there is no way he can turn it around.

its the theory of fighting an arsehole with an even bigger arsehole, = win

this. i would advertise my newly opened legal office as 'helping you overcome asshole genies' and help everyone on this forum.
then i would have the genies arrested for conspiracy to commit genocide.
i would then wish for FMA alchemy. as this is a created definition in fiction they cannot change the definition. and they cant say 'well fine, but whatever you created, the same mass will be destroyed' because that's how it works, and i choose what gets destroyed.

 

[Nudu]

I wish for everything that could permanently make me more happy and content with life with no negative reprecautions and have it fulfilled in the same way it would have been if a benevolent genie were to fulfil it.

 

[Pseudoboss]

I wish for the genie to become a kind, benevolent genie which could only grant wishes that are positive in nature, and would grant an infinite number of wishes which fit that previously stated criteria.
With this, I would have infinite wishes, and with those wishes I would be able to undo any harm caused by the previous wish.

 

[kickyourass]

I'd either refrain from wishing entirely, or be as specific as possible. You know I wouldn't just wish for 80 billion dollars (Which could back fire any number of ways), I'd wish for 80 billion dollars to come from a completely legal source, that didn't involve any kind of human suffering or death. I'd probably be a bit more specific wih my actual wish, but you get the idea.

 

[Alphakirby]

I wish for the genie to become a kind, benevolent genie which could only grant wishes that are positive in nature, and would grant an infinite number of wishes which fit that previously stated criteria.
With this, I would have infinite wishes, and with those wishes I would be able to undo any harm caused by the previous wish.

Nuh uh uh,No wishing for wishes. That's why I was going to wish for more genies or more specifically one good genie that will grant me the wish for more genies like him. My last genie would always wish for more genies and I would use one of my genies to wish the asshole genie to eternal torment in Oblivion.

 

[KAPTAINmORGANnWo4life]

"I wish that everybody I ever meet, or ever have met, will, no matter the circumstances, respect me, and that respect could then progressively become positive emotional affection (in the form of friendship or emotional love) in a way that is congruous with the natural progression of Earth Human of the 21st century AD of the Gregorian Calendar relationships, and find me to be an agreeable person who is worthy of trust, and deserving of any request I could make of them, so long as that request is not made rhetorically, sarcastically, or in such a manner that it would require doing something that they either have no ability (either skill or the means to perform the task easily available according to the judgement they use outside the effects of this wish), or would not have the desire to do so under other circumstances."

Fuck you, genie. THE POWER OF RUN-ON SENTENCES TRUMPS ASSHOLE GENIES.

This could be twisted through the POWER OF ALTERNATE DEFINITIONS.

Affection can mean nothingness [http://www.thefreedictionary.com/affection] (like in tennis scores of "15-Love.)

That said, your wish could be interpreted as, "I wish that everyone I meet will be respect me, and that respect could then progressively become a mental condition (in the form of friendship or nothingness.)

Saying the affection/mental disease can be in the form of friendship or love/nothingness implies that the genie can choose between the two, so he'll always choose the latter in this case. A mental disease in the form of nothingness could mean that those people will have a hollow mind incapable of thought or emotion. Their mind becomes nothingness.

So the rest of your wish works; people do what you say and call you nice, but they would be hollow shells of people, lifeless puppets to you, the only conscious person you're ever allowed to meet. Only by never being in contact with you can a person retain their thoughts and emotions.

If you're okay with that, I guess you got your wish, but if not, then he still wins.

DO MY REVISIONS IN BOLD ILLUSTRATE THE POWER OF RUN-ON SENTENCE/GENIE FUCKITUDE?

 

[kebab4you]

Never wish for anything, I'm sure I can make money somehow by having a living genie that obey me maybe start a talk show with him.

 

[aei_haruko]

I wish that I had a genie who wasn't an asshole

This is exactly what I was going to post.

YESSSSSSSS! THATS WHAT I SAID TOO!!!!!!
YOU ROCK DUDE

 

[Oinodaemon]

I'm gonna try this...I wish...Certain foods would grow in EVERY kind of climate. Nothing would change about the food or the weather, tomatoes (for example) would just be able to grow any time of year, in any area of the world.

 

[KanHanderan]

"I wish this statement is false."
EDIT: Scratch it, I want to be a Planeswalker.