Poll: You get a free wish (from an asshole genie)

[QuantumT]

What's great about the intent clause is that it's self-correcting, in that as part of it working it forces the correct words to be used, otherwise there was a violation of my intent.

In other words, if I don't get exactly what I wanted, my wish wasn't granted.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

Change something about me, but I have to consider the change an improvement with no negatives. and that's how you get around an ass hole genie, you basically tell him to make something good happen and do nothing else.

If I was the genie, I would engineer that wish in such a way that you would consider it an improvement at first (fulfilling that part of the clause), but it isn't actually an improvement. Or, if you specifically said "only good things can happen", I would define 'good' from the perspective of Kim Jong-Il and make the whole world communist. Or something.

 

[Singularly Datarific]

I wish you would not grant this wish.
Just worth the fireworks, I suppose.
EDIT: What if you wish for something horrible, so it happens, but the side-effects screw over the original wish by being really awesome?

 

[Baneat]

I wish for Pi to equate to 3 instead of 3.14

 

[James Crook]

Hire a lawyer to word my wish so specifically there is no way he can turn it around.

its the theory of fighting an arsehole with an even bigger arsehole, = win

You just watched that episode of Fairly Oddparents didn't you?

OT: I originally thought this was the Jack Thompson-related thread I replied to earlier, haha.
Okay, my wish would be for him to sod off and never bother me again.


I just had kind of an epiphany, too: I'd give him a list of people, and wish him to become their genie to grant them a wish that will backfire onto them, then disappear.

I already have a bunch of people on my list: Justin Bieber, the Jersey Shore crew Jack Thompson, Rebecca Black, Stephenie Meyer, the Twilight movie crew, every single Twilight and Justin Bieber fan, every single member of the Westboro Baptist Church, Glenn Beck, Shirley Phelps...
Feel free to add more people to this list =D

 

[katsumoto03]

I would wish for the ability to manipulate time.
Stipulations being that my ability would not destroy the very fabric of time and space, to be able to freely interact with objects that are suspended in time, to not age while using time power and to be able to bring things/people with me if I so choose without them aging or destroying the continuum either.

The time traveling process gives you cancer.

OT: I'd wish for the genie to no longer exist.

 

[James Joseph Emerald]

What's great about the intent clause is that it's self-correcting, in that as part of it working it forces the correct words to be used, otherwise there was a violation of my intent.

In other words, if I don't get exactly what I wanted, my wish wasn't granted.

The problem with the intent clause is that in order for it to work, anything which you haven't intended to happen cannot happen, ever. Because you're explicitly eliminating the possibility of all unintended consequences from occurring. This means you'd literally have to plan out every second of the rest of your life and intend to live out this plan in its entirety. In other words, you'd have to know exactly what you want, down to the finest details.

 

[James Crook]

I would wish for unlimited video games. Can't really be fucked up because its simple, yet effective.

Then you get crushed by an infinite tide of videogames.

You haven't thought this through, have you?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Fine, I wish for one, single, Rolex watch of my choice to be given to me for free by the ghost of Abe Lincoln.
MESS THAT ONE UP

He pulls a John Wilkes Booth on you after giving you the watch.

 

[aei_haruko]

I wish that I had a genie who wasn't an asshole

This is exactly what I was going to post.

YESSSSSSSS! THATS WHAT I SAID TOO!!!!!!
YOU ROCK DUDE

I would agree with that, a no asshole genie!

Then I would grant my wishes!

YAY, A GREAT PERSON, THUMBS UP!!!!

 

[Rayansaki]

I want to know the numbers of the next lottery. Can he turn that against me ?

 

[sharpsheppard]

i wish the genie was in horrible pain for the rest of existence and that when it was over it would still contiune forever

 

[aei_haruko]

I wish for Pi to equate to 3 instead of 3.14

math teachers everywhere come to your doorstep and try to kill you for ruining their equations

 

[aei_haruko]

GENIE! I DEMAND YOUR FINEST TURKEY SAMMICH!!!

it's made of tofu.
DUHHHN DUHHHN DUHHHN!

 

[aei_haruko]

I want to know the numbers of the next lottery. Can he turn that against me ?

you get arrested for fraud because he informs the polic about it...maybe?
I like the cartman btw

 

[GuitArchon]

I may have a wish that may beat this genie at his own game:

I wish that you (the genie) will no longer have any desire to screw over anyone by using their own words against them when they make a wish to you (the genie).

I may be overlooking something, but I can't see anything in there that may be used for sinister purposes.

 

[mjc0961]

I wish to never see or hear the genie again. Easy.

 

[BakaSmurf]

GENIE! I DEMAND YOUR FINEST TURKEY SAMMICH!!!

it's made of tofu.
DUHHHN DUHHHN DUHHHN!

GENIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! *Falls to knees, shakes fists in air, swears vengeance if it costs the lives of every other human being on the planet*

 

[Blastinburn]

Tell the genie that my last wish will be that it gets what it deserves and hope this will make it reconsider being a jerk and instead grant wishes properly. I still word my wishes carefully, just to be safe. Whatever the case, I take my time to carefully consider what wishes I would like granted.

 

[GuitArchon]

GENIE! I DEMAND YOUR FINEST TURKEY SAMMICH!!!

it's made of tofu.
DUHHHN DUHHHN DUHHHN!

GENIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!! *Falls to knees, shakes fists in air, swears vengeance if it costs the lives of every other human being on the planet*

I wish for that man to have his vengeance.

There. I can't see this having any negative repurcusions whatsoever.