Poll: You will never be as happy in life as you are when in a relationship

[Jadak]

Ideally, if you're in a relationship, you have everything you would have if you were single, plus the relationship. So barring situations where you're in a relationship you don't actually want, then being in a relationship is by definition having more of what you want, which is better.

However, for people whom do not want a relationship at all, then being single is just as obviously better. Having more of something that you do not want is not going to make you happier.

 

[DarthSka]

I'm definitely not the right person to answer this question, but right now, yeah, I'd say yes to that. Honestly, it might be because of my present circumstances. About a month ago, 3 days before our five year anniversary, my girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue. Seriously, just out of nowhere. So right now I'm going through the separation blues. Here's what I had when we were together:

-Hugs, kisses, hand-holding, physical affection galore
-Always someone to talk to, or at least most of the time
-Being able to be truly honest and straightforward with someone
-Someone to spend time with at almost any time
-Source of emotional support if ever needed
-General feeling of happiness no matter the situation

Now? I feel very alone since I barely see my other friends since we're all busy with adult lives, all this free time with nothing to do makes me feel like I don't have anything really going on in my life, and honestly, more shit has been occurring to my family since this has happened that it's gotten to the point that I honestly don't like my life anymore. I mean, if we were still together and all this was happening, I'd still be upset and the situation would still be bleak, but I'd still feel happy and fulfilled in my life. My friends are still supportive of me, even more so since they know she dumped me, but it's just not the same feeling of being able to hold the one you have romantic feelings for and be told it's all right. Maybe my feelings on the question will change, but honestly, I was more happy and fulfilled in my relationship than I ever was when single. I guess I'm just the type of person that a relationship is good for.

 

[fenrizz]

I agree.
I'm absolutely miserable when I'm alone, don't like it at all.

That being said, I'm in a quite fulfilling relationship going on 10 years now and it does make me very happy.
Being with my best friend and lover probably helps though.

 

[fenrizz]

I'm definitely not the right person to answer this question, but right now, yeah, I'd say yes to that. Honestly, it might be because of my present circumstances. About a month ago, 3 days before our five year anniversary, my girlfriend broke up with me out of the blue. Seriously, just out of nowhere. So right now I'm going through the separation blues. Here's what I had when we were together:

-Hugs, kisses, hand-holding, physical affection galore
-Always someone to talk to, or at least most of the time
-Being able to be truly honest and straightforward with someone
-Someone to spend time with at almost any time
-Source of emotional support if ever needed
-General feeling of happiness no matter the situation

Now? I feel very alone since I barely see my other friends since we're all busy with adult lives, all this free time with nothing to do makes me feel like I don't have anything really going on in my life, and honestly, more shit has been occurring to my family since this has happened that it's gotten to the point that I honestly don't like my life anymore. I mean, if we were still together and all this was happening, I'd still be upset and the situation would still be bleak, but I'd still feel happy and fulfilled in my life. My friends are still supportive of me, even more so since they know she dumped me, but it's just not the same feeling of being able to hold the one you have romantic feelings for and be told it's all right. Maybe my feelings on the question will change, but honestly, I was more happy and fulfilled in my relationship than I ever was when single. I guess I'm just the type of person that a relationship is good for.

That is rough man.
I've been where you are and I feel your pain.

I went trough something quite similar, being dumped out of the blue (on my friggin birthday no less).
It will get a bit better, but it'll take time.

Hope you pull trough and find love again!

All the best to ya.

 

[Chancie]

I think it all depends on the relationship. I was perfectly happy with the way I felt and lived my life when I was single, but I'm currently in a relationship, and I'm extremely happy there too. I think it all depends on the kind of person you're with. Obviously, if you're dating someone who only brings you down, there's no way you're going to be happy, much less happier than you were when you were single.
I feel like I could add a lot more, but I might just repeating what others have said. It's hard to really give an absolute answer because it really depends on the person. It depends on who you are and what you're like as well as who the person you're with is and what they're like. Happiness and relationships aren't black and white anyway, if only they were that simple.

 

[Erttheking]

You can't really put something like this into an all or nothing situation. Sometimes people are happier when they're with someone. Sometimes they're happier when they're alone. Sometimes people who were happy alone find that special someone and take their happiness to a whole new level. Sometimes people who were happy with someone realize how much they missed being alone.

It's hard to pin down.

 

[Madame_Lawliet]

I consider myself mostly Aromantic, so for me personally I would completely and totally disagree with that sentiment, but I've known people who could literally not function when they weren't in a relationship, so I think it's very much the kind of thing that would vary greatly on a person to person basis.

 

[Elementary - Dear Watson]

I think we are always in a relationship. (Ooh... edgy pretentious bullshit!) Well... lets see. We are happy when things are going our way and are having a healthy constant dose of natural endorphins. Being in a relationship can help 'flare' these endorphins without much effort, which can give a great sense of happiness over an extended period of time.

We also can release these endorphins through other means. I had a great end to last year because I was really busy at work which involved a lot of travelling and meeting new people. As well as that, in between the trips my time was spent seeing friends all over the place, and even a trip to Cardiff for the first Winter UK Escapist meet up (Escapism UK). That got me into Doctor Who which I heavily enjoyed and filled the rest of any free time I had. All this together made me very happy at the time without the need for intimate human interaction or sex...

It's 6 of one and half a dozen of the other in my mind.

 

[The White Hunter]

Nonsense; Tizzy is single and he seems perfectly happy to just disappoint me and staika during raids.

Sad but true.

OT: I'm single and quite happy. Granted there are times when I do wish I was in a relationship but thise pass with time. Oh well at least my mirror won't leave me, seeing as it can't move.

The sad thing is he's the most competent healer I've ran with thus far.

At least he doesn't beg for Ballad whilst sitting on a full Aetherflow stack and a cast of Aetherflow itself.

 

[Doclector]

I don't know. I hate the thought that I'll be lonely forever, but I'm not sure that it's so much that being in a relationship would make me happy, and more that it depresses me that it'll never happen.

 

[Shymer]

The only source of real lasting happiness I have found is helping other people be happy and that can take a huge variety of forms from direct aid and assistance, to indirect sponsorship and moral support, to doing something for a community.

That source of happiness can be found in a relationship and with children, but it's not a pre-requisite to stable relations. It's perfectly achievable without being married, or going out with someone. However I have found it impossible to replicate the sense of well-being I get from helping others, with solo pursuits.

 

[Flatfrog]

I'm not really happy with the way you phrased it but I had to click the Agree anyway. As a person in a happy relationship with children, I think that is really what humans were built to be. We work better in a partnership with someone else that loves and supports us, and in which we love and support other people. To some extent friendship can do that, but there's something very different about family. But of course that's only when it works! So then it becomes a bit tautological - "If you find a happy, loving relationship, you'll be happy and feel loved". Well, duh.

 

[Bertylicious]

Being in a good relationship is pretty rad but its not like some kind of elixir to gain a sense of self-validation.

On balance, though, I'd have to say I've been happier when I was in relationships than I am now (being single) and that I'm happier now as a result of the relationships that I have had than I would have been if I'd never had them, if you get me.

 

[Smolderin]

Well shit, if that is the case then I am sublimely fucked.

I absolutely love solitude, but really that isn't the issue. If I find the right person who understands that, then I am sure that we could work it out. The issue I have is commitment...with everything. My interests and passions seem to jump across ships on a day to day basis. If I can't even stick with a simple thing like say...completing s work assignment..just because I don't want to...What is to stop that from happening with a girlfriend? Now I am not talking about being unfaithful, I would never do that...But my biggest fear is just one day waking up deciding that I am no longer interested in my girlfriend and therefore I do not want to be with her anymore...And trust me, when it comes to me, the "want" at that moment transcends passion and interest.

I have played with the notion of being in a relationship in the past, but after thinking about it, its best that I stay out of that game for both my sake and others.

 

[AngloDoom]

A very oversimplified generalisation I agree with is:

Good relationship > Good single life > Bad single life >>>>> Bad relationship

For many people, the happiness of a moment of triumph is only accentuated by having someone to share it with. At the same time, though, an unsatisfying relationship can leave people a complete wreck with a feeling of no way out.

 

[FPLOON]

Well shit, if that is the case then I am sublimely fucked.

I absolutely love solitude, but really that isn't the issue. If I find the right person who understands that, then I am sure that we could work it out. The issue I have is commitment...with everything. My interests and passions seem to jump across ships on a day to day basis. If I can't even stick with a simple thing like say...completing s work assignment..just because I don't want to...What is to stop that from happening with a girlfriend? Now I am not talking about being unfaithful, I would never do that...But my biggest fear is just one day waking up deciding that I am no longer interested in my girlfriend and therefore I do not want to be with her anymore...And trust me, when it comes to me, the "want" at that moment transcends passion and interest.

I have played with the notion of being in a relationship in the past, but after thinking about it, its best that I stay out of that game for both my sake and others.

I'm kinda in the same mindset as you right now... Solitude, to me, is that one place where you can do the things you like to do without people claiming that considered "embarrassing" by trade... I think being in a relationship would just make it harder to do the things you would do in solitude because, despite the fact that you and your partner can open up more out of trust alone, you can't open up too much otherwise that could lead to a shorter relationship in the long run... I have been told by friends who are in long-term relationships right now that once I start dating, both my partner and I would have to start "adapting" to each other's mindsets, which doesn't really sound right the more I think about it...

So, yeah... I'm apparently not ready to be in a relationship, and thus should be less happy than how I am now... which I call BS on that so-called "absolution" on the grounds of "it depends" on the person in question...
(Where's the "it depends" option when you need one, basically?)

 

[Naeras]

That depends entirely on the relationship you're in. I've seen people completely ruined by bad relationships, and I would in no way recommend being in one of those relationships over being single.

Otherwise, whether or not you prefer to be single is kind of a personal preference. It's more common to want to be in a (functional) romantic relationship than it is not to, I still know quite a lot of people who prefer being single. Some aren't comfortable with romance, some just prefer not having to interact with people constantly, some prefer having the possibility of sleeping around to having a steady partner. And that's completely fine.

I've been in a relationship for the past two years, and I'm moving in with my girlfriend next week. I can definitely say I'm happy being together with her, and that I love her. However, if we for some absurd reason would break up tomorrow, I still see no reason why I couldn't be happy even when single. It'd probably suck quite a bit straight after the break-up, but I'd get over it, and enjoy the often-overlooked perks of being single rather than dwelling on the fact that I'd be single.

 

[Rose and Thorn]

I think it depends on the person, of course I "think". I really have no idea, and I can only speak for myself. For me, if I had to answer it would be true. The happiest I have been was in a relationship. I have been single for a few years now and I am not saying that there is no happiness to be found in that way of living, but it doesn't compare. It would be easy for someone like me to say, "well yeah I agree and I feel that way, so why wouldn't everyone else?". It also certainly looks like most people want one, but I don't think it is that way for everyone. The poll says it isn't so it can't be true, even if some say they are single and don't believe it, because they don't *want* to.

I am single and enjoy being single. Being in a relationship might have been the happiest I have ever felt in my life, but it also resulted in the worst I've ever felt. For that reason I choose to stay single. Double edged, atleast in my experience. I found there to be more to life than being happy.

 

[themilo504]

Speaking as a militant asexual I obviously don?t think that you need a relationship to be happy, I actually think that a lot of people would be happier if they never started a relationship.