Poll: Your aging parents.

[Launcelot111]

I have some relatives that live in a place that's vaguely an assisted living place but is actually more like an apartment building that happens to have a couple medical types living there. They made the choice because they can stay independent but don't have to worry about the realities of being 90 in the large and unwieldy house they were living in.

Hopefully, my parents will never be unwell enough to reach that point, but if they get truly senile or get Alzheimer's or something, then I'd want them living as close to the medical care as possible, so that would probably end up being some sort of assisted living.

 

[Moonlight Butterfly]

I'm going to let my mum choose, my dad sadly died of cancer a few years ago. My mum has been awesome to me while I have been ill and I feel like I owe her now so even if I want to live alone I will make sure she has somewhere comfortable to live. Although I don't work at the moment I have two degrees and plenty of work experience so I'm sure I will be able to land at least a clerical job. I have an older sister too so I think she will be making most of the decisions and I will be helping.

I really don't like old folks homes I think they are just asking for disease and illness to spread. I mean how often did you get ill at school because of things going around. My grandma is 90 and we look after her in her own flat we would only put her in a home if she asked.

 

[DugMachine]

If I could i'd pay for someone to go to their home and help. My father and mother REFUSE to sell or ever leave that house. They'll die there and honestly that's how I want it to be. The idea of having my parents live in a old peoples home is very depressing.

..but if I couldn't pay for nurses then screw it get packing mom and pops.

 

[Montezuma's Lawyer]

What if my parents were abusive cunts who I refuse to support?

 

[Mikodite]

Yeah, both my parents are still independent, and I hope to care for them in home, ideally. Though I hope that never comes: I am not in a position to look after them, and my older brother is a low-functioning autistic who can't look after himself. Sigh.

 

[PhunkyPhazon]

I think my parents probably have the cash to do whatever they choose, whether it be a nursing home or in-home care. If not...fuck. I guess me and my siblings would either have to chip into the expenses (Unlikely as we're all poor as shit) or if it's just one of them...ugh...have them move in with us.

I'll probably find out in the next decade or so. But who knows, my Dad's parents lived in an apartment until they reached their mid-90's. There were certainly complications, but they seemed capable enough. Sort of. Maybe not. Shit.

 

[gigastar]

When it comes to my parents, my dad already has an arthritic shoulder and given that hes past his prime and still working on a biulding site his back will not last forever. My mums back has been going ever since i was born, and its hardly getting better.

I dont think ill look after them even if i could. Ive already spent 4 years watching them decay, i dont think i want to take it beyond that. Never mind that im not suited for such a role.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

They're doing well enough to where I think they'd be able to choose for themselves. If worse comes to worse, my little brother is a giant suck up who'd probably end up helping them out.

If by chance one of them got a bad case of Alzheimers, I'd probably try to stick with them as close as possible.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

Damn, that sounds so...unfair (horrible also works). Wow...3 jobs and still barely getting by? 25k dollars in debt..maaaan...I'm so happy I live in Sweden, never heard of anyone working three jobs here and still struggling with cash. TWO jobs, MAYBE, but dear god three is overkill.

My sister is an incredibly hard worker, and always does whatever she has to do to get by. I respect the hell out of her for it.

As for my parents' debt... it's actually on the low side for the United States. There are a lot of people out there far deeper in debt in this country from college tuition alone, not even counting other stuff like medical expenses, car payments, weddings, etc.

The problem my parents have is that they refused to ever pay anything off. Whenever they made a big purchase on their credit cards, they'd always pay the minimum amount per billing cycle, resulting in a ton of interest. It's not that they didn't have the money to pay off larger portions and cut down on the interest - they absolutely did. For a while they were actually making double the average family income in my state. The thing was though that if they paid just minimum payments, it allowed them to have extra money in their pockets at the end of the money to spend on non-essentials. I really meant it when I said they weren't very good with their money, and unfortunately, they're now paying for it. Hell... they're still making minimum payments to Sears for their refrigerator which they bought when I was six years old. I'll be twenty-four in eight days. That's freaking insane.

 

[nathan-dts]

"Suicide before giving up independent living." This'll be me. Can't imagine requiring help to do basic things. Same thing would be the case for me if I become disabled. I empathise completely with the elderly and have massive respect for those who learn to live with physical disabilities.

It's for the above reasons that I wouldn't feel comfortable choosing an outcome of this magnitude for anyone. I'd like to think I'll remember to ask what my mother will want in the future, if indeed she'll even need help.

I have two very old neighbours that remained independant; here's hoping something similar happens for my mother.

 

[nathan-dts]

Damn, that sounds so...unfair (horrible also works). Wow...3 jobs and still barely getting by? 25k dollars in debt..maaaan...I'm so happy I live in Sweden, never heard of anyone working three jobs here and still struggling with cash. TWO jobs, MAYBE, but dear god three is overkill.

My sister is an incredibly hard worker, and always does whatever she has to do to get by. I respect the hell out of her for it.

As for my parents' debt... it's actually on the low side for the United States. There are a lot of people out there far deeper in debt in this country from college tuition alone, not even counting other stuff like medical expenses, car payments, weddings, etc.

The problem my parents have is that they refused to ever pay anything off. Whenever they made a big purchase on their credit cards, they'd always pay the minimum amount per billing cycle, resulting in a ton of interest. It's not that they didn't have the money to pay off larger portions and cut down on the interest - they absolutely did. For a while they were actually making double the average family income in my state. The thing was though that if they paid just minimum payments, it allowed them to have extra money in their pockets at the end of the money to spend on non-essentials. I really meant it when I said they weren't very good with their money, and unfortunately, they're now paying for it. Hell... they're still making minimum payments to Sears for their refrigerator which they bought when I was six years old. I'll be twenty-four in eight days. That's freaking insane.

It's funny that I hear bad things about the Occupy movement on a daily basis, yet the people that say these things fail to realise that people are barely surviving out there. I hope your sister gets a degree of financial security soon, and can drop two of those jobs.

How long does it take for debt to be written off in the US?

 

[nathan-dts]

What if my parents were abusive cunts who I refuse to support?

Then there's options for having them pay for their own care.

 

[octafish]

My parents, both in their sixties, are building a huge house down on the coast with a bedroom each for my siblings and I and a large bedroom for the grandkids. Living in a beach house should soften the burden of senility. I really don't see my parents getting senile, Mum has fatastic genes (my maternal grandmother is 88 and still living independently) and Dad has just worked too hard for his body to last that long, plus he's a smoker.

Oh it's just too hard to make corrections with a phone. Please forgive me.

 

[Tuesday Night Fever]

How long does it take for debt to be written off in the US?

It's going to vary heavily from person to person. It's going to depend on the individual's income, how much they owe, and what kind of interest rates they're getting on that debt.

Realistically, for my parents, I don't think they'll ever be out of debt. They keep paying the minimum amounts, which in most cases barely covers the interest and only takes a tiny bit out of the principal. Add to that the fact that they're down to just my father's income, and that they're still wastefully spending on non-essentials as if they were still pulling in two paychecks... yeah... they're going to remain in debt for a real long time.

When I graduated from university and came home, I found that in the four years I was mostly away my parents had slacked off on paying the town taxes. They'd managed to build up nearly $20,000 in back-taxes to the town, and it was looking like they might actually lose their house. Because I didn't have a job yet at the time, I tried my best to organize their finances and get things in order. With my dad's permission, of course. Within a year I had managed to get them out of debt with the town, but I fear that without someone actively helping them keep the books, they'll slip back into their old financially-destructive practices.

Basically, since my mom's stroke, it's kinda like they've both just sort of gone into a downward spiral of not really caring about much anymore. Their financial irresponsibility as of late certainly shows it, which is why I have to make the unfortunate decision to not let them be an anchor that drags me down too.

 

[Jonluw]

Cannibalize them and absorb their power (inheritance).

Captcha: no brainer.
Hah!

 

[Dags90]

Cannibalize them and absorb their power (inheritance).

Captcha: no brainer.
Hah!

It's good advice, the brain is more likely to have prions that cause cannibals to go batshit (assuming they weren't previously batshit). It took a lot of restraint not to mention "European Death Panels" somewhere in the OP.

 

[chadachada123]

Honestly? Until they are literally bed-ridden, they will likely choose to do what both my grandma is doing and what my great-grandma did: Just live alone until they physically cannot anymore.

My great grandma lived to be 95, and until her last month she lived by herself. Up until she was 90, her son (my great-uncle) lived with her because of a neurological disorder, until he passed away. And even after that, she continued to live alone until she was hospitalized and then her demise.

My grandma is living on her own despite being 70 and suffering from extreme emphysema, but since my mother and aunts/uncles call her practically every day there's little worry of her being without care for an extended time. She'll likely live alone until she can no longer care for herself (which will be right when she's bedridden and near-death).

I imagine my parents will follow the same path.

 

[Meight08]

If my mom is going senile she says she will have herself euthanised...........Yeah
But if she just needs to live with somebody we´ll pay for a home with a combination of her pension and my own money.
Unless she really wants to have herself euthanised.

 

[Meight08]

Cannibalize them and absorb their power (inheritance).

Captcha: no brainer.
Hah!

It's good advice, the brain is more likely to have prions that cause cannibals to go batshit (assuming they weren't previously batshit). It took a lot of restraint not to mention "European Death Panels" somewhere in the OP.

European What?
Could you explain that?

 

[DanielBrown]

In home care that my mom pays for. I will of course help her out if she doesn't have enough money, I owe her at least that much.

I assume in home care is the same as the hemtjänst(home service) we have in Sweden, where people come over a few days every week to help out with cleaning, cooking and what not. Personally I don't think I'd want to live when I'm not capable of going to bathroom without help.