Pork Pushers Protest Sale of Unicorn Meat

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
45,698
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Pork Pushers Protest Sale of Unicorn Meat


The National Pork Board [http://www.pork.org/] of the United States has threatened legal action against ThinkGeek for infringing on its "Other White Meat" trademark in advertisements for canned unicorn meat.

"Unicorns, as we all know, frolic all over the world, pooping rainbows and marshmallows wherever they go," says the ad for Radiant Farms' Canned Unicorn Meat. And as they age, they are magically drawn to Ireland, where the Sisters at Radiant Farms nurse them through their final days, massaging Guinness into their coats every day and fattening them up with candy corn. "Pâté is passé," the ad says. "Unicorn - The New White Meat [http://www.thinkgeek.com/stuff/41/unicorn-meat.shtml]."

Unfortunately for the Sisters and unicorn connoisseurs around the globe, the ad, which coincidentally or not debuted on April 1, caught the attention of the sharp minds at the National Pork Board, which is responsible for research, consumer information and the promotion of pork as a food product. Its most famous work is the "Pork: The Other White Meat [http://www.theotherwhitemeat.com/]" advertising campaign, which dates all the way back to 1987 and is still in use today. Slogans with that kind of staying power are very few and far-between, so it should come as no surprise that the Pork Board acts very aggressively to protect it.

Thus did the Pork Board, through the law firm of ThinkGeek [http://www.faegre.com/], advising it that the unicorn meat ad violates "The Other White Meat" mark held by the NPB. In response, ThinkGeek has issued a public apology for the unintended confusion, assuring the Pork Board that it is not attempting to supplant pork with unicorn meat.

"It was never our intention to cause a national crisis and misguide American citizens regarding the differences between the pig and the unicorn," Geeknet President and CEO Scott Kauffman said in a press release [http://www.thinkgeek.com/files/thinkgeek-unicornmeatrelease.pdf]. "In fact, ThinkGeek's canned unicorn meat is sparkly, a bit red and not approved by any government entity."

ThinkGeek also apologized for the long, awkward pause in the conversation when it explained to the Pork Board over the telephone that unicorn meat doesn't actually exist.

Thanks to The_root_of_all_evil [http://www.escapistmagazine.com/profiles/view/The_root_of_all_evil] for the tip.


Permalink
 

tomtom94

aka "Who?"
May 11, 2009
3,373
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GO VEGETARIAN AND END THIS BARBARITY No, I will not be militant, I will let people make their own choices.

Personally I'm really confused as to exactly how this infringes on the trademark. They say "New" the other company say "Other". HOW IS THAT THE SAME?
 

Idlemessiah

Zombie Steve Irwin
Feb 22, 2009
1,050
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Wow. Some people have no sense of humour.
I mean, 'They stole our slogan to sell canned unicorn meat.'And these are supposed to be grown men...
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
45,698
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In other news, Tim Langdell recently assumed ownership of the National Pork Board.

Silly, silly case they have here.

Although I find it funny that they're drawn to Ireland. Why exactly a pure beast would be drawn to this hedonistic island of violent lunatics I have no idea. At least they're in County Meath, that's about 30 minutes away from me, I must go kill one see them sometime.
 

dragontiers

The Temporally Displaced
Feb 26, 2009
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I may be misinformed, but wouldn't this be covered under satire? I thought it would be fairly obvious from the fact it's Unicorn Meat that they weren't being serious, and were not introducing a competing product. I don't see how this violates their mark, even if it is kind of similar.
 

Baldr

The Noble
Jan 6, 2010
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Satire is never(unless it is parody) protected under free speech, however parody is under copyright law, however this is not a copyright issue, but a trademark issue... If a consumer can confuse the product whether be parody or not, then there is a legal case.
 

Ne1butme

New member
Nov 16, 2009
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If an Avatar porn parody can be marketed and sold, then i suspect Unicorn Meat will be safe.
 

Femaref

New member
May 4, 2008
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Baldr said:
Satire is never protected under free speech, however parody is under copyright law, however this is not a copyright issue, but a trademark issue... If a consumer can confuse the product whether be parody or not, then there is a legal case.
Somebody really thinking that unicorns are killed and processed for meat also thinks that welsh dragon sausages are made from welsh dragons.
 

Blueruler182

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May 21, 2010
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Hahahahahahaha!

Oh god, I love the times we live in. Between this and the African American community over reacting to that graduation card, and the arguments against gaming, I'll have shit to laugh about for years...
 

Dr. wonderful

New member
Dec 31, 2009
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...That had to be the most stupid thing I heard all week.

It was a joke article, they can't take a joke, then they are doom.

Epic reponse by the way.
 

dragontiers

The Temporally Displaced
Feb 26, 2009
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Baldr said:
Satire is never(unless it is parody) protected under free speech, however parody is under copyright law, however this is not a copyright issue, but a trademark issue... If a consumer can confuse the product whether be parody or not, then there is a legal case.
Satire is protected by free speech, otherwise comedians like Steven Colbert would be out of a job and in jail. SNL wouldn't still be live on Saturday night or any other. Yes, if there is an actual product similar to another that uses a similar tag-line, then copyright issues come up, but as the article stated, Unicorn Meat isn't an actual edible meat product. It's more a comedy prop like my can of dehydrated water. Therefore, I don't see how a consumer could confuse the two. I still say no one's rights have been violated.

Femaref said:
Somebody really thinking that unicorns are killed and processed for meat also thinks that welsh dragon sausages are made from welsh dragons.
I thought they were sausages made from dragons in the welsh style. Shows you how much I know ;p
 

Johnnyallstar

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Feb 22, 2009
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Isn't pork on a campaign right now for a new slogan since they think that "The other white meat" is outdated?

I love Think Geek, and hope that it doesn't come down to a lawsuit.

Of course, I think the pork people would be much more satisfied if they would use my slogan "Pork: The one you love."
 

LostTimeLady

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Dec 17, 2009
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Oh... dear... is all I can really say to that (or should it be oh unicorn?).
It makes me laugh that this was taken so seriously when unicorns don't (to our knowledge) exist. I know copyright infringment is a bad thing but this is equivilent to Rowntree's fruit gums taking action against the Goodies (old UK TV show ask you're parents if you're under the age of twenty) for infringement on the slogon 'Goodie, Goodie gum gum'. Or visa vera, I can't remember which came first, 'Goodie, Goodie yum, yum' or 'Goodie, Goodie, gum gum'. Very silly.
And thus ends my tortured metaphore/reference.
 

Jared

The British Paladin
Jul 14, 2009
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Wow...some people need to get a sense of humour and lighten up...Its hilarious!
 
Apr 28, 2008
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Dumbass executives...

Honestly, April 1st + Unicorns = a joke so obvious a toddler can see
 

Le_Lisra

norwegian cat
Jun 6, 2009
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Awesome.

The silliness of some people is astonishing no matter how often observed.
 

samsonguy920

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Mar 24, 2009
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Why do I have the feeling the Beef council would have seen through the charade and had a hearty laugh if the feaux-ad had satired their product instead? This is saying so much about the Pork industry that I am uncomfortable at learning.
Addendum: And yet PETA never sprouted up and said anything? This is weird.
 

Gildan Bladeborn

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Aug 11, 2009
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dragontiers said:
I may be misinformed, but wouldn't this be covered under satire? I thought it would be fairly obvious from the fact it's Unicorn Meat that they weren't being serious, and were not introducing a competing product. I don't see how this violates their mark, even if it is kind of similar.
It most certainly is, as the ThinkGeek staff explained - what's funny is the Pork Board and their legal representation somehow overlooked the bit where canned unicorn meat was an April Fools Day joke and not in fact a product for sale. They weren't protesting a comedy product using something similar to their trademark for satirical purposes, they just genuinely didn't notice it was satire and not in any way real. Somehow.

Your guess is as good as mine how that is possible, heh.
 

Therumancer

Citation Needed
Nov 28, 2007
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Idlemessiah said:
Wow. Some people have no sense of humour.
I mean, 'They stole our slogan to sell canned unicorn meat.'And these are supposed to be grown men...
I suspect there might be more to this story than the article is covering.

While superficially silly, there must have been some reason they reacted that way. People have poked fun at/spoofed the slogan befor eI believe. For some reason they must have viewed this joke as a threat, and it makes me wonder as to why.

For example did "Thinkgeek" bait them specifically for laughs, a part of the story we're not seeing?
 

Living Contradiction

Clearly obfusticated
Nov 8, 2009
337
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Okay folks, turn towards the National Pork Board and sing it with me...


"You are an idiot! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha-a ha ha ha-a ha!"
 

Javex

New member
Mar 15, 2010
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Wait. I'm supposed to trust these idiots with safely handling my pork products? This is hilarious, but for all the wrong reasons. I guess you can make a court case out of anything these days...
 

JaredXE

New member
Apr 1, 2009
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So wait, there really isn't any unicorn meat?

But I really wanted to try it!

Lady Amalthea....yummmmm
 

Sir Kemper

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Jan 21, 2010
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And from this day forward, anybody working in the pork industry shall now be known as a mental deficient.


Why? Because nobody stood back and said: "Err... Unicorn's aren't real, and a lawsuit would be fucking stupid"

And even if they did, they sure's hell didn't say anything.
 

scnj

New member
Nov 10, 2008
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Furburt said:
In other news, Tim Langdell recently assumed ownership of the National Pork Board.
How the hell did I get ninja'd to this?! Great minds think alike I guess.
 

Xanadu84

New member
Apr 9, 2008
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First of all, there is no chance of Unicorn meat cutting into Porks business. Because of that, secondly, this is CLEARLY parody. Think Geek would almost assuredly win the lawsuit against it.

Of course, the Pork industry probably has better lawyers then little ol' Think Geek, so they can strong arm them into dropping the advertisement, and winning back that lucrative market of people who believe in unicorns, and want to eat them as a pork substitute, and were convinced of this by an advertisement on a site that sells novel electronics. Big win there. Which is why that in any case brought to court, the respective sides should be assigned a lawyer of equal skill, with no intervention from privately hired lawyers.
 

poiuppx

New member
Nov 17, 2009
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Furburt said:
In other news, Tim Langdell recently assumed ownership of the National Pork Board.
My thinking exactly. Next thing you know, they'll claim to have rights to the term 'white meat'...
 

ShadowsofHope

Outsider
Nov 1, 2009
2,623
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Silly Pork Pushers, Unicorns don't exist. And even if they did, you'd have to deal with those pesky Minotaurs first. (Cookie for the game reference)

..Though on a serious note, no third party outside of this called how fucking retarded this lawsuit is, considering the basis of it? My faith in Humanity's sanity just went down a little, again.
 

doctorwhofan

New member
Mar 20, 2009
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ThinkGeek also apologized for the long, awkward pause in the conversation when it explained to the Pork Board over the telephone that unicorn meat doesn't actually exist.


That line says it all. Glad I gave thinkgeek alot of my cash...Good on them!
 

duchaked

New member
Dec 25, 2008
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...seriously?

haha ironically I just read the other day on Yahoo News about the pork company with said slogan was actually considering a change of slogan (cuz they felt it was outdated and had already out-served its purpose)
 

Lim3

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Feb 15, 2010
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ThinkGeek also apologized for the long, awkward pause in the conversation when it explained to the Pork Board over the telephone that unicorn meat doesn't actually exist.

They just gave unicorn meat so much free advertising. In fact public perception of unicorn meat has now doubt improved thanks to articles like this one.
 

Nedoras

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Jan 8, 2010
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ShadowsofHope said:
Silly Pork Pushers, Unicorns don't exist. And even if they did, you'd have to deal with those pesky Minotaurs first. (Cookie for the game reference)

..Though on a serious note, no third party outside of this called how fucking retarded this lawsuit is, considering the basis of it? My faith in Humanity's sanity just went down a little, again.
Haha that's from Oblivion. I never understood why they were guarding the unicorn. I figured they would be trying to kill it and eat it.

But honestly this whole lawsuit is a complete joke. People seem to be suing each over over absolutely anything these days. Like how that one woman sued Google over walking directions that got her hit by a car.
 

Zeromaeus

New member
Aug 19, 2009
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So...
If this case is any inclination...
The world isn't ready for my Kentucky Fried Phoenix....
 

thethingthatlurks

New member
Feb 16, 2010
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I could make a joke about some of their products having escaped, got dressed up in business suits, and assumed control of the company/conglomerate. But that would be too easy, so I'll just say this: The Pork People sued somebody over unicorn meat. Nothing could ever surpass this, this is the ultimate punch line; "hey, at least they didn't sue because of unicorn meat,.."
Truly we live in a great world. Now excuse me, I'll go drink myself half to death. Hopefully I'll forget I ever saw this and retain a bit of faith in humanity...
 

Danglybits

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Oct 31, 2008
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The real world amuses and concerns me. I would have loved to be on the party line for that phone call.
 

the_maestro_sartori

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Nov 8, 2009
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"ThinkGeek also apologized for the long, awkward pause in the conversation when it explained to the Pork Board over the telephone that unicorn meat doesn't actually exist."

bahahaha, I can just imagine that.
"Um... you do know that... unicorns don't exist, right...?"
 

MurderousToaster

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Aug 9, 2008
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My faith in humanity is steadily going south with the influx of things like these.

I mean, the Pork Board must be populated entirely by drug addicts and idiots if they panicked over unicorn meat, thought it was a real product and sent a cease and desist letter to a company for a product released on the first of April.
 

Michael826

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Aug 17, 2009
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LostTimeLady said:
Oh... dear... is all I can really say to that (or should it be oh unicorn?).
It makes me laugh that this was taken so seriously when unicorns don't (to our knowledge) exist. I know copyright infringment is a bad thing but this is equivilent to Rowntree's fruit gums taking action against the Goodies (old UK TV show ask you're parents if you're under the age of twenty) for infringement on the slogon 'Goodie, Goodie gum gum'. Or visa vera, I can't remember which came first, 'Goodie, Goodie yum, yum' or 'Goodie, Goodie, gum gum'. Very silly.
And thus ends my tortured metaphore/reference.

I'm 17 & i think The Goodies are amazing:D

OT: This is hilarious. i don't even really know what to say. Just, wow. Unicorn Meat. I suppose i have 2 questions:
a) is it nutritious?

b) does it have healing qualities?

Seriously, i don't know how they could've thought it was real. I also don't know who would confuse pork with unicorn meat.
 

Plurralbles

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Jan 12, 2010
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Uh, I dunno. Must be the farmer seeping into me from the air of my hometown but I understand the pork guys. Ohwell. Not going to worry too much about it. If they win, that's great, if unicorn meat keeps its slogan, that's A-okay with me, too. I can't pick sides on this issue for some weird reason.
 

Andy Chalk

One Flag, One Fleet, One Cat
Nov 12, 2002
45,698
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Pork is the other white meat?!

Fuck, I always thought it was fish.
 

2012 Wont Happen

New member
Aug 12, 2009
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Some people are absolutely ridiculous. The copyright laws are there to protect people from having others unjustly take their work and prevent them from making a profit with it- not so that major corporations can sue others who are hosting a fictional add for a made up product.
 

DoomyMcDoom

New member
Jul 4, 2008
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some people know a joke when they see one, other people need a good hard smack... we all know which is which in this situation...
 

DigitalSushi

a gallardo? fine, I'll take it.
Dec 24, 2008
5,718
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Femaref said:
Baldr said:
Satire is never protected under free speech, however parody is under copyright law, however this is not a copyright issue, but a trademark issue... If a consumer can confuse the product whether be parody or not, then there is a legal case.
Somebody really thinking that unicorns are killed and processed for meat also thinks that welsh dragon sausages are made from welsh dragons.
Thats why the Welsh Dragon population is dwindling, this barbarity needs to stop, there's a delicate ecosystem of Dragon's and Disney Heroes (its called the food chain people!), if we carry on farming Welsh Dragons we'll be over run with Knights in Armour. Is that what you want?

Kudos to Root for this Epic find.
 

SL33TBL1ND

New member
Nov 9, 2008
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Hur Dur, that unicorn meat is stealing my business dur. Some people are just really really stupid.
 

Carlston

New member
Apr 8, 2008
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Femaref said:
Baldr said:
Satire is never protected under free speech, however parody is under copyright law, however this is not a copyright issue, but a trademark issue... If a consumer can confuse the product whether be parody or not, then there is a legal case.
Somebody really thinking that unicorns are killed and processed for meat also thinks that welsh dragon sausages are made from welsh dragons.
It's not real dragon?

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Bastards!

Ahh well... then again, it makes me happy.
Since the alternative is Spotted Dick.

God I hope that's not made with real.....
 

DTWolfwood

Better than Vash!
Oct 20, 2009
3,716
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"ThinkGeek also apologized for the long, awkward pause in the conversation when it explained to the Pork Board over the telephone that unicorn meat doesn't actually exist."

ROFL! XD
 

Catchy Slogan

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Jun 17, 2009
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Wait. Unicorns aren't real? First the Tooth Fairy, and now this! Next they'll be telling me Leprechauns don't exist either.
 

ENKC

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May 3, 2010
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Thank heavens this crisis has been averted. For a moment there, I thought I may purchase less pork in future as a result of this April Fools joke.
 

SilentHunter7

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squid5580 said:
SilentHunter7 said:
squid5580 said:
Dammit I was going to use that slogan for my canned Soylent Green
Well, in that case, I think you'll just get accused of racism.
Why? Black pigs still make white meat.
Well, since Soylent Green is people, if you call it a white meat, other ethnic groups might be offended you didn't include them. ;)
 

Scrythe

Premium Gasoline
Jun 23, 2009
2,368
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Wait, unicorn meat isn't real?

What the hell have I been eating this whole time?
 

squid5580

New member
Feb 20, 2008
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SilentHunter7 said:
squid5580 said:
SilentHunter7 said:
squid5580 said:
Dammit I was going to use that slogan for my canned Soylent Green
Well, in that case, I think you'll just get accused of racism.
Why? Black pigs still make white meat.
Well, since Soylent Green is people, if you call it a white meat, other ethnic groups might be offended you didn't include them. ;)
Well they should know that we are all the same color when coming out of the business end of a meat grinder.
 

Enigmers

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Dec 14, 2008
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Pork, delectable as it is, does not contain sparkles. Make of that what you will.

I can just imagine this conversation happening at a board meeting.

"Okay, our first order of business: Henry, would you stop injecting opium rectally and listen for a second? Okay. Now that we're all listening, I'd like to inform you that we are being made fools of by the unicorn industry."
 

AgentBJ09

New member
May 24, 2010
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?

Really? Are these people serious?

Since when should ThinkGeek apologize for a harmless joke, let alone a parody of a well known slogan? I can recall almost ten other variations of it that people have used. What the hell?