problem, beat up by a girl and stressing over it.

[toddt2]

Hi so last Sept I was at my cousins house playing kickball at the park by his house, and there was a few girls over by the swings. The ball ended up hitting one of them in the head and she got really mad and told us "she will kick our ass" if it happens again. So we laughed and threw the ball at her but not hitting her. She got really pissed and came running and threw me down and then it was a full on fight, and I ended up getting pretty beat up bad by her. After about 4 or 5 min her friends and my cousin convinced her to stop, that I couldn't. Take anymore. I. Was so scared and dejected on my way back to my cousins house because I didn't want my dad to find out what happend. So we told him I crashed my bike and hit a tree, (which I dont Think he bought 100%) because I had cuts and bruises on both sides of my face and ended up with 2 black eyes.
now this is my problem, I'm in the 8th grade and on my schools basketball team and we are gonna be playing the school my cousin goes to which is sort of a ways from my school, and I. Found out that girl is a cheerleader for that school. I'm. So nervous that once she sees me she's gonna tell everybody that she beat me up and all my teammates and my dad will find out because he goes to all the games! I don't know what everyone will think of me if they find out. Another thing that has me worried is that a few weeks after she beat me up she told my cousin that she would beat me up again if she saw me at the park again because shes pissed that her jeans got ruined and wrecked from the fight! So now I'm. Worried that she will want to fight again after the game or something just to prove to everyone that she can beat me up. That's something I don't want to go through again, my lower back still hurts a little from the first fight. If everyone finds out about it they will realize that's why my face was messed a few months ago!
I know people will never let me live it down if they know I was beaten up and now scared out of my wits of a girl.. I'm. Thinking about skipping the game but we play them 2 more times as well? Stressing big time over this!

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

I'm sorry but it's kind of hard to feel a lot of sympathy since it sounds like you were trying to intentionally provoke her. In all honestly, I would apologise to her for being a bit of a douche. As for any embarrassment, it will be a lot easier if you just get it over and done with. People will give you a hard time over it, but they'll eventually move past it. You're only going to prolong your suffering by hiding it.

As for her wanting to fight you again, I kind of doubt it. It sounds to me it was done in a fit of rage, and that very rarely leads to much. So just man up, and hopefully this experience teaches you your actions have consequences.

 

[toddt2]

You bet this is a lession learned for me. I will never assume someone is incapable of things. I made the mistake of thinking she couldn't Beat me up but I found out otherwise the hard way. The only reason I threw the ball back at her because she threatened to kick our ass after we hit her by accident the first time and after we told her sorry right away. If I. Had known how tough she was no way would I've did that. I don't think she would accept any type of apology either. I hope your right about her not wanting to fight again but I doubt it. Like I said, she told my cousin she would beat me up again if she ever saw me at the park again because she is pissed that her jeans got stained and wrecked in the fight. I know she will see me because the cheerleaders usually stand right by the players bench and once she sees me I. Know she's probably gonna brag about how she kicked my ass to everyone and if I deny it she will want to fight after the game or something just to prove it to everybody. If I run or avoid her everyone will know she's must have and she will probably brag about how I'm so afraid of her. My cousin keeps trying to tell me not to worry what people think, and that there's. Nothing wrong with getting beat up by a girl and that he's afraid of her too, but I know a lot of my teammates will give me a hard time. Man I wish I never had thrown the ball back at her, otherwise I would never had to go through any of this!

 

[JoshGod]

Do you mind if I ask why you didn't fight back? Is it that men don't hit girls, or are you just against fighting?
As for what to do, I'm not sure she deserves an apology after her actions, also you don't specify who kicked the ball at her was that you? However to move forward you really can only talk to her about it.

 

[toddt2]

Oh I did fight back! I got maybe 3 or for shots in, but once she got me pinned down she pretty much wasted me with punches and elbows. That's why I felt so dejected and scared because I never been beat up that bad before. Thank God they convinced her to stop pounding me! Actually it was my cousins neighbor that hit her with the ball, but she was looking right at me when she said she would " kick our asses " so I threw it back at her.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Alright, kid, I'm going to let you in on a secret: all the stuff that goes on in high school becomes completely meaningless as soon as high school ends. You may become known as the kid who got beat up by a girl for a while, but trust me it will blow over as soon as someone else does something embarrassing. The only reason it would go on longer is if you make it go on longer by making a big deal over it. Even if you are, for some reason, known as the guy who got beat up by a girl during high school, all of that goes away as soon as high school ends. You lose contact with a lot of people going off into college/university/work etc... and people tend to mature out of high school anyway. Heck, you could even own the experience by making fun of yourself along side other people. You know how difficult it is to make fun of someone who is already making fun of themselves? As for your Dad... well he's your Dad. He obviously cares about you since he comes to all your games, so he might give you a hard time for a while but he won't do it forever.

As for her wanting to fight you again, I doubt it. As I said, things that are said and done in a fit of rage rarely have a lasting impact. If she does brag about it, or make a big deal about it, you're best off not reacting to it. Don't get me wrong, it's going to be a tough storm to weather, but it's going to go a lot easier if you don't fight it. As for her wanting to fight you at her school... stick close to your friends if you're worried.

I'm willing to bet the situation isn't as bad as you've built up in your head. As I've said, there is a pretty good chance she'll wind up doing nothing. I mean you don't go to the same school as her, so she might not even remember you. This may be a big deal to you, but it may not actually be that big a deal to her. I know what you're going to say: "but she told my cousin if she saw me again, she'd beat me up again", but there it's very likely she was just saying that to further intimidate you guys.

I don't know... you've definitely got yourself into a messy situation, but I don't think it's as bad as you think.

 

[Grace_Omega]

Yeah, gotta say, it sounds like you brought this on yourself :\

As for being ashamed of being beaten by a girl.... that's caused by deeply ingrained societal expectations and rigidly defined notions of masculinity. Not a whole lot you can do about that, but any negative reactions will blow over. If people give you shit because a girl beat you up just ignore them and they'll lose interest (although like I said, this is pretty much your fault for being an asshole).

 

[toddt2]

Thanks for the advice Muckraker. Actually I'm not in high school yet, still Jr high. I hope your right about her not wanting to fight again and is just trying to intimadate me by saying she wants to beat me up again, because once was enough for sure, but I highly doubt she forgot about me. It wasn't that long ago. I thought about sticking close to my friends after the game and maybe she won't approach me but I wouldn't Be surprised if she still did. Oh to make matters even worse, my cousin says her nickname is Hannah because people say she looks a little like Miley Cycrus use to look when she was Hannah Montanna.. So now if any of my teammates find out about her beating me up and they find out that's her nickname they will be really giving me a hard time.. just when I thought this whole thing was bad enough! Thanks again for the help it feels good to talk about this to someone besides my cousin.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Actually it's MasochisticAvenger. Muckracker is a title Escapist gives anyone who has a certain number of posts I believe.

What's her nickname being Hannah got to do with anything? Honestly, it's starting to sound like you're desperately trying to make this situation worse than it really is. I don't know if you're just trying to garner sympathy from people, but if you are, knock it off. There is no point worrying so much. You've put yourself in this situation, so you're pretty much just going to have to ride it out. Go to the game, and be prepared for what might happen. If people give you a hard time, it will be a good lesson not to do something stupid like that in the future.

As for her approaching you, stick close to your friends and unless she's like superwoman you'll probably be able to subdue her. Not to mention, she's likely not going to do something at school since there will be a lot of other people around, and teachers are probably not going to like someone from their school beating up someone from other school.

 

[toddt2]

Yeah, gotta say, it sounds like you brought this on yourself :\

As for being ashamed of being beaten by a girl.... that's caused by deeply ingrained societal expectations and rigidly defined notions of masculinity. Not a whole lot you can do about that, but any negative reactions will blow over. If people give you shit because a girl beat you up just ignore them and they'll lose interest (although like I said, this is pretty much your fault for being an asshole).

It isn't so much of me being ashamed as it is other people being ashamed of me. I guess I'll just have to ignore them like you said. One thing this has taught me is that. I definitely Have more respect for girls now and what they are capable of. Before this happened I never thought A girl could beat me up as bad as she did and make me this fearful of her. Especially a girl the same age as me. Believe me I wish like hell I Never threw the ball at her now!

 

[toddt2]

Actually it's MasochisticAvenger. Muckracker is a title Escapist gives anyone who has a certain number of posts I believe.

What's her nickname being Hannah got to do with anything? Honestly, it's starting to sound like you're desperately trying to make this situation worse than it really is. I don't know if you're just trying to garner sympathy from people, but if you are, knock it off. There is no point worrying so much. You've put yourself in this situation, so you're pretty much just going to have to ride it out. Go to the game, and be prepared for what might happen. If people give you a hard time, it will be a good lesson not to do something stupid like that in the future.

As for her approaching you, stick close to your friends and unless she's like superwoman you'll probably be able to subdue her. Not to mention, she's likely not going to do something at school since there will be a lot of other people around, and teachers are probably not going to like someone from their school beating up someone from other school.

well the whole Hannah thing would be that it's bad enough they will be giving me shit for getting beat up by her but now I can just picture them telling everybody in my school that I got beat up by "Hannah Montana " oh well that's the least of my problems right now. Your probably right I think I need to quit worring about it so much.

 

[toddt2]

Seems like it's pretty disproportionate to what you did.

Some people in this thread need to learn how to read. He got fucking pummeled. Two black eyes, cuts, bruises.

All for throwing a ball.

You need to get your revenge in kid. Let people walk over you like that once, you'll never see the end of it.

Girl or not, you need to get even.

I can see your point but honestly I just want to leave things as is. Yes it was a scary thing at the time, but the cuts and bruises was nothing I couldn't Handle and were pretty much gone after about ten days. Besides I know I would just get beaten up by her again anyway and once was enough. Im. Just gonna have to talk it out with her I think.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Seems like it's pretty disproportionate to what you did.

Some people in this thread need to learn how to read. He got fucking pummeled. Two black eyes, cuts, bruises.

All for throwing a ball.

You need to get your revenge in kid. Let people walk over you like that once, you'll never see the end of it.

Girl or not, you need to get even.

Revenge is pointless. All it will do is make this situation go on longer than it needs to, and ensure she retaliates worse than she did in the first place. What she did was over the top; I don't think anyone here is denying that. Though you cannot say it wasn't his fault. He intentionally provoked someone, because he believed they wouldn't be strong enough to retaliate. I'm sorry if I sound harsh, but as someone who was constantly bullied in school because I wasn't strong enough (both physically and mentally) to fight back, it's hard for me not to be a little happy when a bully gets their comeuppance. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he deserved to get beat up, but if the situation made me realise his actions have consequences I can't help but see it as a good thing. It's hard that he had to learn it in such a way, but life isn't always fair.

This will blow over. It's not "letting people walk over you"; it's getting mixed up with the wrong person. He made a mistake, and he paid the price for it. The best thing for him to do is put it behind him as best he can, and not let her rule his life. So he should go to the game, and not even bring it up. There is nothing he can really do to her that will make this situation better. She's already proven she can beat him up. Even if he could beat her up, the last thing he needs to give her the opportunity to say he beat her up. People will side with her, because she is a girl, immediately if that happens.

Unless he makes a big deal out of it, it will blow over in about a week (a months tops). Something new will come along, and everyone will change their focus to that. After school, you learn all the stuff that happened in school was meaningless. You lose contact with most of the people there, and most people move past that stuff anyway. It's easy to think of school as the most important part of your life, but it really isn't.

well the whole Hannah thing would be that it's bad enough they will be giving me shit for getting beat up by her but now I can just picture them telling everybody in my school that I got beat up by "Hannah Montana " oh well that's the least of my problems right now. Your probably right I think I need to quit worring about it so much.

You're worrying too much. It's probably not going to be as bad as you keep building it up. Just ride it out, and keep telling yourself it will all blow over eventually.

 

[toddt2]

Thanks MasochisticAvenger I hope this all does just blow over. Believe. Me I'm no bully I just threw the ball at her in the heat of the moment and definitely paid the price for it big time. Revenge is the last thing I want when it comes to this girl, I don't even want this whole situation even known about more than it already is. Besides I imagine all the fear I had of her after she beat me up is going come soaring back as soon as see her again. I'll. Probably be more tempted to run and hide than to confront her.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Revenge is pointless.

Such a presumptuous thing to say.

When I wrote that post I was 100% sure there'd be atleast one person who would blurt that shit out.

The problem is not whether or not it will blow over. The problem is that this kid, who already seems like he cannot stand up for himself, is going to be sitting there with the memory of being beat up by a girl and not having done a single thing about it.

I'm not surprised that you got bullied at school if revenge was never on your mind.

People don't mess with someone they know will pay them back in spades.

Besides, how can you call this kid a bully? A ball accidentally landed on some kids head and the reply was that "she would kick their ass" if they would do it again. She was the one trying to intimidate them, not the other way around.
People like that deserve a massive thrashing. Whether they're a boy or a girl.

Of course revenge was on my mind. I wanted to get back at the people who bullied me so badly, it almost consumed my life. You want to know something, though? Nothing those bullies ever did to me made my life as hard as it would have been if I had tried to get revenge on them. If I had given into them in that way, I don't think I would be able to live with myself. There is a huge difference between standing up for yourself and seeking revenge. The best thing he can do is just ride it out. You know what? That will show how strong he is far more than getting back at her. Revenge just brings about more revenge. It is a never ending cycle. He does something back to her, and then she'll escalate it even further. It will go so far neither side will really win, and honestly he'll be the one that loses out more.

Tell me, honestly, how would you propose he get revenge anyway. Let's look at his situation for a moment:

1. She's already proven she can beat him up on her own. He can't really beat her up, because she'll just dish it back at him harder than she did the first time. Remember, she only stopped because his friends and her friends stopped her.

2. She's the cheerleader for the basketball team, so she's probably a popular girl, meaning there are probably a lot of guys willing to come to her aid.

3. The last thing he wants to do is give her the power to tell people he beat her up. No one is going to be siding with him after that, and the fact she beat him up first will be completely irrelevant.

I'm calling him a bully because he tried to pick on someone he thought was weaker then him. The ball accidentally hit her, she overreacted, and that should have been the end of it. He took it a step further, he is the one that provoked her believing she wouldn't be able to retaliate. He paid the price for his actions, and hopefully it has taught him never to pick on anyone again.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Thanks MasochisticAvenger I hope this all does just blow over. Believe. Me I'm no bully I just threw the ball at her in the heat of the moment and definitely paid the price for it big time. Revenge is the last thing I want when it comes to this girl, I don't even want this whole situation even know about more than it already is. Besides I imagine all the fear had of her after she beat me up is going come soaring back as soon as see her again.

Don't worry, I'm not calling you a bully. I'm saying in that situation you were being a bully. I'm glad you're not taking the revenge route, it would only make things worse. I hope it all works out for you, but make sure you do go to the game. You'll regret it later if you don't. If you don't go to the game, that will be you letting her walk all over you.

 

[manic_depressive13]

You need to get over your fear of being ridiculed. If anyone laughs at you for being beaten by a girl they're fucking idiots. If she is stupid enough to try to touch you again, tell her coach and principal. She will probably get suspended and kicked off the cheerleading team, but obviously this can't happen if you keep enabling her to attack you by lying on her behalf.

 

[toddt2]

You need to get over your fear of being ridiculed. If anyone laughs at you for being beaten by a girl they're fucking idiots. If she is stupid enough to try to touch you again, tell her coach and principal. She will probably get suspended and kicked off the cheerleading team, but obviously this can't happen if you keep enabling her to attack you by lying on her behalf.

Thanks yeah maybe I won't get ridiculed as much as I think. The more I think of it she probably won't try and do anything while in the school unless she doesn't care about being suspended but my cousin says she's on the volleyball and gymnastics teams too (although I think vball season is over now) so yeah she might not want to be suspended. Unless she waits outside for me after the game when a lot of the school staff is gone, then I could be in trouble. Just gonna have to be on the lookout and stay around other kids if that's the case, but then there's The risk of them seeing me get pounded by her or the very least seeing me back down from her...