problem, beat up by a girl and stressing over it.

[toddt2]

Hi EveeElectro. I did tell her to shut up and I think called her stupid before I. Threw the ball at her so I did sort of provoke her. Plus once she came after me I did land some punches on her mostly on her stomach when she had me in a headlock before she took me back down to the ground and then pounded me for a good few minutes.

 

[Jux]

Seems like it's pretty disproportionate to what you did.

Some people in this thread need to learn how to read. He got fucking pummeled. Two black eyes, cuts, bruises.

All for throwing a ball.

You need to get your revenge in kid. Let people walk over you like that once, you'll never see the end of it.

Girl or not, you need to get even.

I hope your suggestion for 'getting even' is calling the police to report a battery, and not advocating he pick a fight with her (with weapons, as you seem to suggest later on). You realize that if the OP goes and seriously hurts this girl he's going to be in a lot of legal trouble yes?

-snip-

Todd, I would suggest a couple of things. First, don't pick a fight with this girl, or anyone for that matter. Second, you might want to tell your parents about this. If she attacks you again, definitely tell your parents. What you did was wrong in provoking her but she shouldn't have attacked you. Third, if you feel unsafe, you might want to see if self defense classes are an option.

 

[toddt2]

A problem with this is that you view getting beaten up by a girl embarrassing. I'm sure it's because society has ingrained it into you that women are weak and delicate and all that other bullshit and that's wrong. It's exactly the same if a boy did this to you.

Yes, you provoked her and you shouldn't. Hopefully you learn from that. She overreacted though. She wasn't hurt a second time so why she attacked you is beyond me, but I remember when I was that age (13/14? I don't understand 'grades' in America) the girls I knew were violent psychotic bitches who would attack for little reason too.
I would have actually gone to an authority figure. It sounds like you got messed up pretty badly, and that is assault. It doesn't matter that you're young, or were having an argument that provoked it there is NO need to react that violently when she wasn't hurt or to threaten violence over something that was an accident the first time.wa.

At the time that it happen I. Didn't. Want anyone knowing about it let alone getting the police involved. Besides I. Hit her some too. I was scared and almost in shock after the fight. I did get beaten up pretty bad but I didn't. Get any broken bones oranything. I didnt want my dad to find out was the main thing. Believe me I won't. Be underestimating any girl from now on. That's right about society ingrained that girls can't. Be tough or in incapable of things like this. If it wasn't like that then there would be less embarrassment over it. My cousin says the same thing that I shouldnt be embarrassed and that it happens all the time all over the country and stuff like that.

 

[Jux]

I hope your suggestion for 'getting even' is calling the police to report a battery, and not advocating he pick a fight with her (with weapons, as you seem to suggest later on). You realize that if the OP goes and seriously hurts this girl he's going to be in a lot of legal trouble yes?

I never suggested he should use a weapon. I actually specifically stated the opposite.

He's a kid, though. What kind of real damage can he dish out in a fight, and what kind of real trouble can he get into?

God knows going to the police isn't going to help him.

Stated the opposite? Where? This?

If I was too weak to deal with it myself, I would.

I didn't want to go as far as to suggest it to a child, though.

No, you didn't state the opposite. Stating the opposite would have been "I suggest you don't use a weapon." What you did was say that you would use a weapon, then left the implication hanging. Yea, you didn't specifically suggest it, but stating that he needs to get even, then saying what you would do is not advising against the action. You're trying to normalize it and let him rationalize it's ok, because someone else would do it too.

And I don't know, how many instances of kids killing each other could I possibly find on google? https://www.google.com/#q=schoolyard+fight+ends+in+death

Schoolyard fight ends in death. 667,000 hits. Seems like the worst possible senario has happened before at least a few times. And no, you don't know shit about what the police would do for this kid.

Spoiler

Seems like it's pretty disproportionate to what you did.

Some people in this thread need to learn how to read. He got fucking pummeled. Two black eyes, cuts, bruises.

All for throwing a ball.

You need to get your revenge in kid. Let people walk over you like that once, you'll never see the end of it.

Girl or not, you need to get even.

Revenge is pointless.

Such a presumptuous thing to say.

When I wrote that post I was 100% sure there'd be atleast one person who would blurt that shit out.

The problem is not whether or not it will blow over. The problem is that this kid, who already seems like he cannot stand up for himself, is going to be sitting there with the memory of being beat up by a girl and not having done a single thing about it.

I'm not surprised that you got bullied at school if revenge was never on your mind.

People don't mess with someone they know will pay them back in spades.

Besides, how can you call this kid a bully? A ball accidentally landed on some kids head and the reply was that "she would kick their ass" if they would do it again. She was the one trying to intimidate them, not the other way around.
People like that deserve a massive thrashing. Whether they're a boy or a girl.

What exactly is he supposed to do to "get even"? Bring a baseball bat?

If I was too weak to deal with it myself, I would.

I didn't want to go as far as to suggest it to a child, though.

snip

Getting beaten up and then being too afraid to retaliate (in whatever manner, doesn't have to be physical but that is the most effective way) is not being strong. It's being weak. It's nothing to be proud of. He even said that he's scared of her. Facing your fears takes strength, avoiding confrontation doesn't.

On the topic of revenge; That's not how it works. When you show that whatever people'll do to you, you will retaliate twice as hard, people will not mess with you. People don't mess with someone that can stand up for themselves. In fact, people will respect you for it. I've been in fights in my high school years and usually me and the person who fought ended up with mutual respect. Not some sort of blood feud.

I hope your suggestion for 'getting even' is calling the police to report a battery, and not advocating he pick a fight with her (with weapons, as you seem to suggest later on). You realize that if the OP goes and seriously hurts this girl he's going to be in a lot of legal trouble yes?

I never suggested he should use a weapon. I actually specifically stated the opposite.

He's a kid, though. What kind of real damage can he dish out in a fight, and what kind of real trouble can he get into?

God knows going to the police isn't going to help him.

And don't even try a ninja edit, every one of your posts in this thread is quoted here.

 

[toddt2]

Trust me the last thing I wanted to do was tell anybody about it after it happen. Hell even if she would of broke both my arms I still would not want to had to explain to anybody especially my dad or other adults what happen. I just look at it as I got my ass kicked and I. Learned my lesson plain and simple. And no Lol I would never consider getting even with a bat or any weapon. Then I would get into some serious trouble. The more I think about it she will probably just brag to everyone that she beat me up and not try and do it again unless she sees me off of school grounds which would be unlikely since we are in different towns. I'll. Just have to stay away from that park when I visit my cousin for now on.

 

[Jux]

I gave an honest answer when someone asked me for it.

It wasn't good advice.

I made an effort to emphasize I wasn't suggesting it to the kid.

That's not the same as specifically saying he shouldn't use a weapon, which was what you tried telling me you said.

So don't accuse me of telling him he should use a weapon.

I clearly stated what I was accusing you of.

Also; Take a second to read some of those hits. Weapons are involved amongst other circumstances.

You're advocating that he needs to get even, then go on to say that if you were weaker, you would use a weapon. It's not hard to add two and two. You're advocating he brutalize the girl to get back at her.

Don't be mongering the idea that fights are likely to end in anything serious.

I'm saying that things can happen unexpectedly. And that was the very worst case senario. Imagine this kid takes a bat to her. He might not kill her, maybe he just smashes her teeth in, or gives her a broken nose, or an orbital eye fracture. How is that proportional in any way to what she did to him? Maybe you should be the one to stop mongering that police don't do anything.

edit: Furthermore, what if she takes the bat away from him and beats him up with it? Have you ever thought about the implications of taking a weapon to a fight?

They're not. I've seen and been in plenty. Only egos were injured.

You mean like this kids ego? Try advocating he picks himself up and makes a better man out of himself then instead of pushing that revenge is the best way.

Moreover, unless you kill someone, which as I just described, is highly, highly unlikely, you're not going to be getting any sort of severe punishment when you're a minor. Atleast not in Europe.

This is the bigger problem with your advice. The mentality that 'its ok because you're not going to get in trouble for it' is a really unethical way to live.

"And don't try to ninja edit blablabla", oh that's just cute.

Your internet tough guy persona is just as cute.

 

[Jux]

Your internet tough guy persona is just as cute.

What kind of a lame cheapshot is that?

Who's the one being tough taunting another over the internet? I bet you feel quite empowered behind your PC screen.


As for the rest, you think violence is never an option. I disagree. End of discussion.

Sorry, but if you want to be smarmy with me, you can expect snark in return. Can't deal with that? Not my problem.

And as for the rest, let me find that strawman gif. Here we go:

Spoiler

I didn't say violence was never an option. I said revenge was a shitty option. If the kid feels unsafe, and needs a boost to his confidence, he can take self defense classes. I clearly advocated that in my very first post. What I don't advocate is some ongoing feud where this kid goes back after the fact to 'get some payback', with or without weapons involved.

Your advice was bad and you have no rebuttals for anything I said other than stating that you disagree. I agree though that this is the end of the discussion, as you seemingly don't have anything else to offer.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

Your internet tough guy persona is just as cute.

What kind of a lame cheapshot is that?

Who's the one being tough taunting another over the internet? I bet you feel quite empowered behind your PC screen.


As for the rest, you think violence is never an option. I disagree. End of discussion.

Sorry, but if you want to be smarmy with me, you can expect snark in return. Can't deal with that? Not my problem.

And as for the rest, let me find that strawman gif. Here we go:

Spoiler

I didn't say violence was never an option. I said revenge was a shitty option. If the kid feels unsafe, and needs a boost to his confidence, he can take self defense classes. I clearly advocated that in my very first post. What I don't advocate is some ongoing feud where this kid goes back after the fact to 'get some payback', with or without weapons involved.

Your advice was bad and you have no rebuttals for anything I said other than stating that you disagree. I agree though that this is the end of the discussion, as you seemingly don't have anything else to offer.

I don't know if you've noticed, but doesn't it seem like SimpleThunda is talking about fights where both parties were on equal ground? One of them started the fight, the other fought back, both sides got some good punches in, but neither side really won. I don't know if I'm reading it wrong, but that's the way it reads to me. That is very different to this situation to this. Here, the kid got his ass handed to him. He might have gotten a few punches in, but it sounds like she walked away relatively unharmed. I honestly don't see the point of making it go on any longer. I mean revenge just brings about more revenge; it's not like the girl will just go "well, he beat me into an inch of my life. I'm not going to do anything back"

But I wouldn't worry about SimpleThunda. The kid has already said he is going to do the right thing, so there is no real need to convince SimpleThunda. It's better if we both stop wasting our energies on a lost cause. Hell, I'm willing to bet he has never actually been in a real fight. Those people who talk big can very rarely back it up with words; they just hope if they make themselves look tough enough, everyone will leave them alone. The ones who have to rely so much on their "tough guy" image, they are the ones who are truly weak. The strongest people are the ones who don't feel the need to put their fists up against anyone, unless they need to protect themselves.

 

[Nomad]

I just look at it as I got my ass kicked and I. Learned my lesson plain and simple.

I'm not sure you did.

If I. Had known how tough she was no way would I've did that.

One thing this has taught me is that. I definitely Have more respect for girls now and what they are capable of. Before this happened I never thought A girl could beat me up as bad as she did and make me this fearful of her. Especially a girl the same age as me. Believe me I wish like hell I Never threw the ball at her now!

The primary lesson to be learned here is not "girls can beat people too". It's "don't be mean to people". From the way you're talking, it seems as if you'd have no problem with harassing someone who's too weak to defend themself - like you thought she would be. You just don't want to get the short end of the stick afterwards, by accidentally attacking someone who can defend themself. Whether or not someone is tough or can beat you up is irrelevant - you shouldn't be mean to people. Period.

 

[toddt2]

It was a heat of the moment thing. Like i Said I threw the ball back because I didn't like that she looked right at me when she said "she would kick our ass" I. Had no intention of hitting her with it again I just was basically telling her to shut up as I threw it back at her. Believe me I don't go around harrasing or being mean to people I think are weaker.

 

[Jux]

-snip-

It's not that I'm just worried about this kid. Dangerous, unethical advice like that shouldn't go uncontested, so it's not really a waste of time for me. I doubt that my words will change ST at all, it was more for anyone else that might have been on the fence about whether his advice was worth considering, as we don't debate in a vacuum.

 

[MasochisticAvenger]

-snip-

It's not that I'm just worried about this kid. Dangerous, unethical advice like that shouldn't go uncontested, so it's not really a waste of time for me. I doubt that my words will change ST at all, it was more for anyone else that might have been on the fence about whether his advice was worth considering, as we don't debate in a vacuum.

Hmm, good point, I hadn't considered that. I would hope no one would be stupid enough to go at someone with a baseball bat just because their pride got a little damaged. It is very easy to kill someone with a baseball bat, and you have to live with that guilt for the rest of your life.

 

[Moth_Monk]

OP you're the one that's got lots of testosterone in your veins; not this girl. You need to get in tune with yourself. You are going to have find a way to come back swinging from this - so to speak - otherwise you are, unfortunately, going to lose serious amounts of social status.

 

[toddt2]

OP you're the one that's got lots of testosterone in your veins; not this girl. You need to get in tune with yourself. You are going to have find a way to come back swinging from this - so to speak - otherwise you are, unfortunately, going to lose serious amounts of social status.

I know I'll probably hear all that when everybody finds out. I don't know how much test I have just yet? I just turned 13. Besides I heard girls are more physically developed at my age which would explain a lot., because once she had me pinned down I couldn't get her off for nothing!

 

[toddt2]

I just got a notification that this thread has over a thousand views. Just to update I chickened out on the first game but went to the 2nd game. Soon as she saw me for the first time she started smiling.Then I started to get worried big time, but the game went on and nothing really happened. At half time a couple of the cheerleaders came up and asked me as I was going back to the locker room "so did Lindsey beat you up pretty bad?" I just said "what" and kept going to the locker room. But after the game she came up to me smiling and said sort of jokingly " you want to fight again I'll fuck u up" I just said no. Then she said something like"Why you scared"I didn't say anything and she said to a few of the other girls standing there " see I told ya" they giggle and laughed a little I just kept walking to the locker room. About 6 or 7 minutes later a team mate of my yelled out my name " hey dude there's some girls out here that want to beat you up"


They all had a laugh about it and a few minutes later some of them came over and were asking me if it was true that she beat me up before and all that, at first I said no but then I asked is she still out there?" They said yeah, so I admitted she did so she would leave. Then right after that another teammate came over and said ""no they left they had their coats on." So I was like oh shit I could of denied it, but it really wasn't that big a deal. only a couple of guys were giving me crap about it but mostly in a fun way because she told them how bad she pounded me and said I was "balling my eyes out"The others were just asking me how it happened and "was she pretty tough" stuff like that, so yeah it wasn't that big a deal. My couch didn't even pay much attention to it, he was in sort of a rush to get going and the assistant coach just shrugged it off and said something like "well girls have 2 fists and to feet too" Another kid that went to that school even said as we were leaving "it's no big deal man" because he said he seen her beat up a kid before a couple years ago. So it wasn't all that bad. only a few kids in my school have came up to me and asked me about it too and I just tell them it was mostly a wrestling fight with a few punches getting thrown.

 

[Mr.Cynic88]

My advice is to not let it have any power. Turn it into a joke. I obviously bugs you, but act like it doesn't.

"I thought I was gonna hit on her, but then she hit me...again and again...man, young love hurts."

Bullying and such is like online trolling. It only works if it gets a reaction. If you act confident and unphased by the event, there's no point in attacking you over it.

You're young, so you might not realize that just like you're far more concerned with yourself and your own social standing than anybody else, so are they. Just like you, they're mostly busy worrying about themselves and what other people think of them.

If you act like it doesn't bug you, than people lose the reason to bug you about it.

 

[Johnny Novgorod]

Seems like it's pretty disproportionate to what you did.

Some people in this thread need to learn how to read. He got fucking pummeled. Two black eyes, cuts, bruises.

All for throwing a ball.

You need to get your revenge in kid. Let people walk over you like that once, you'll never see the end of it.

Girl or not, you need to get even.

He did kinda dare her when he threw the ball back at her a 2nd time.
Also I don't think beating up a girl is good advice in any context.

 

[viscomica]

The moral of the story is: provoke any human being, no matter how frail they look, and they will my friend, beat you up. Also OP, by you constantly saying "if I've known she could hit me that badly I wouldn't have" what you're really saying is "I thought she was incapable of hitting me back so I assumed there was no risk in throwing the ball again at her because 'she looked at me funny'" Dude, just stop, just stop.

 

[toddt2]

The moral of the story is: provoke any human being, no matter how frail they look, and they will my friend, beat you up. Also OP, by you constantly saying "if I've known she could hit me that badly I wouldn't have" what you're really saying is "I thought she was incapable of hitting me back so I assumed there was no risk in throwing the ball again at her because 'she looked at me funny'" Dude, just stop, just stop.

like I said before, it was a reaction to a heated situation. When I threw it Back at her I never intended to hit her, just threw it by her as another way to say "shut up " and. "quit being so mouthe " and thought that would be the end of it. If I had known she was such a ass kicker that she is, no way would I have done that is all I'm saying.

 

[Nomad]

I just got a notification that this thread has over a thousand views. Just to update I chickened out on the first game but went to the 2nd game. Soon as she saw me for the first time she started smiling.Then I started to get worried big time, but the game went on and nothing really happened. At half time a couple of the cheerleaders came up and asked me as I was going back to the locker room "so did Lindsey beat you up pretty bad?" I just said "what" and kept going to the locker room. But after the game she came up to me smiling and said sort of jokingly " you want to fight again I'll fuck u up" I just said no. Then she said something like"Why you scared"I didn't say anything and she said to a few of the other girls standing there " see I told ya" they giggle and laughed a little I just kept walking to the locker room. About 6 or 7 minutes later a team mate of my yelled out my name " hey dude there's some girls out here that want to beat you up"


They all had a laugh about it and a few minutes later some of them came over and were asking me if it was true that she beat me up before and all that, at first I said no but then I asked is she still out there?" They said yeah, so I admitted she did so she would leave. Then right after that another teammate came over and said ""no they left they had their coats on." So I was like oh shit I could of denied it, but it really wasn't that big a deal. only a couple of guys were giving me crap about it but mostly in a fun way because she told them how bad she pounded me and said I was "balling my eyes out"The others were just asking me how it happened and "was she pretty tough" stuff like that, so yeah it wasn't that big a deal. My couch didn't even pay much attention to it, he was in sort of a rush to get going and the assistant coach just shrugged it off and said something like "well girls have 2 fists and to feet too" Another kid that went to that school even said as we were leaving "it's no big deal man" because he said he seen her beat up a kid before a couple years ago. So it wasn't all that bad. only a few kids in my school have came up to me and asked me about it too and I just tell them it was mostly a wrestling fight with a few punches getting thrown.

You know, you could have avoided a lot of embarrassment and hassle by just answering "Yep" and shrugging it off.

If I had known she was such a ass kicker that she is, no way would I have done that is all I'm saying.

I feel like you're missing the point we've been trying to make.
Her ability to fight back shouldn't matter. The basic stance should be "I will not be mean to people, because that would be mean". It should not be "I will not be mean to people, because it may inconvenience me". If you cut off the first half of the sentence I quoted above, that would be the desirable attitude.