Stu35 said:
Agree with you on all fronts. Except possibly:
Whether you can give consent while drunk doesn't really have much to do with feminism.
Whilst I agree with this point, I have only ever seen women (feminist groups in particular) get angry when they're told that if they're not careful, rape can happen to them. (Keep in mind, I never EVER believe it is the victims fault, but as soon as you suggest that women can take action to help prevent getting raped, all of a sudden thats the accusation that gets thrown around).
On the other hand, I look around the cookhouse, and I see plenty of posters aimed at men saying "Is she too drunk to say 'yes'? Then it's a definite 'no'!",
This is touchy subject, the attitude that raped women were asking for it still exists, as well as the hyperbole that all men are rapists, which makes discussing it difficult.
I have been accused of condoning rape for saying that if a woman wears revealing clothing, it's reasonable to assume it's okay to look, although staring might be rude.
And then there are people who claim raped women only have themselves to blame...
There's certainly a difference in advicing someone to avoid risks, and blaming them.
It's wrong for your boyfriend to act violent towards you. But if they act violent/threatening and you don't break it off or report it, you are putting yourself in a situation where you should know you are in risk.
I think it would be best to handle the discussions of rape (and other sexual abuse) more gender-neutral. Men can get sexually abused as well, and neither men or women shouldn't have to fear it in any situation.
Also other forms of sexual abuse should be discussed. For example, coercing someone to have sex by blackmailing.
Stu35 said:
So, if I manage to thumb in my flaccid penis, it doesn't count?
It would, as sexual abuse(and rape) wouldn't necessarily even involve the penis. But my point was that if there's evidence of more than that, it might imply the man wasn't that drunk.
Although it gets to the tricky area of determining who was how drunk exactly.