Question to girls who've suffered from body image 'issues'

[Spaloooooka]

Forget the drama about why.

What could have been said to make you feel not gross?

I won't bore you with my reason for asking.

 

[brookykatt]

I dunno compliments always help... but not when they're not true then they just hurt..


Ohhhh, and i wanna hear your reason for asking just sayin c:

 

[IndomitableSam]

Nothing anyone can ever say will make a girl feel comfortable in her own body. "You look good/great/similar comments" doesn't help, as we think people are lying or actually outright insulting us. "Oh, you've lost weight!" is so loaded I don't even need to go there. "You need to/You should ______" ... again, loaded.

I can't think of anything anyone has ever said that doesn't make you question their motives and makes you uncomfortable.

Never mention looks, honestly. "You are an amazing person" would work. Don't highlight specific body parts either, because it makes us think you're trying to find some way to compliment us and are avoiding an outright compliment. Sometiems even calling a girl smart will make us think "they're saying that because I'm ugly."

... You can't win, really. Sorry.

 

[Kopikatsu]

Nothing anyone can ever say will make a girl feel comfortable in her own body. "You look good/great/similar comments" doesn't help, as we think people are lying or actually outright insulting us. "Oh, you've lost weight!" is so loaded I don't even need to go there. "You need to/You should ______" ... again, loaded.

I can't think of anything anyone has ever said that doesn't make you question their motives and makes you uncomfortable.

Never mention looks, honestly. "You are an amazing person" would work. Don't highlight specific body parts either, because it makes us think you're trying to find some way to compliment us and are avoiding an outright compliment. Sometiems even calling a girl smart will make us think "they're saying that because I'm ugly."

... You can't win, really. Sorry.

What about not commenting until they comment first (Such as inquiring about their appearance. How do you think this dress looks, etc etc) and then saying "Anything would look good on you, dear, but I must say that dress is particularly ravishing!"?

On a scale of 1-10.

Edit: I judge appearances entirely on hair though. Facial features only get considered if they're shaved/bald, and even then only the top half is looked at. Some people pull the look off better than others.

 

[IndomitableSam]

What about not commenting until they comment first (Such as inquiring about their appearance. How do you think this dress looks, etc etc) and then saying "Anything would look good on you, dear, but I must say that dress is particularly ravishing!"?

On a scale of 1-10.

Edit: I judge appearances entirely on hair though. Facial features only get considered if they're shaved/bald, and even then only the top half is looked at. Some people pull the look off better than others.

Hmm. That's not too bad. I'd say a 5/6. Maybe comment that that colour or cut of dress really suits them if you do like it... or you can say "I really like that other dress you have... the one that cinches at the waist, it really makes you look amazing" if they ask what to wear or if you don't like it.

Honestly, it depends on the girl, but if you haven't known her long... tread very carefully. If you've been together a long time, go with your gut.

 

[brookykatt]

What about not commenting until they comment first (Such as inquiring about their appearance. How do you think this dress looks, etc etc) and then saying "Anything would look good on you, dear, but I must say that dress is particularly ravishing!"?

On a scale of 1-10.

Edit: I judge appearances entirely on hair though. Facial features only get considered if they're shaved/bald, and even then only the top half is looked at. Some people pull the look off better than others.

Hmm. That's not too bad. I'd say a 5/6. Maybe comment that that colour or cut of dress really suits them if you do like it... or you can say "I really like that other dress you have... the one that cinches at the waist, it really makes you look amazing" if they ask what to wear or if you don't like it.

Honestly, it depends on the girl, but if you haven't known her long... tread very carefully. If you've been together a long time, go with your gut.

Haha, dont say that you guys its gonna creep her out ha like i would be weirded out

Compliments about clothes are like less personal and more casual and such. If you think she looks good then like say you like her shoes or somethingg ha or you can make it a little more personal by commenting on her hair or nails or whatever. hopefully that makes sense

 

[EeveeElectro]

Nothing anyone can ever say will make a girl feel comfortable in her own body. "You look good/great/similar comments" doesn't help, as we think people are lying or actually outright insulting us. "Oh, you've lost weight!" is so loaded I don't even need to go there. "You need to/You should ______" ... again, loaded.

I can't think of anything anyone has ever said that doesn't make you question their motives and makes you uncomfortable.

Never mention looks, honestly. "You are an amazing person" would work. Don't highlight specific body parts either, because it makes us think you're trying to find some way to compliment us and are avoiding an outright compliment. Sometiems even calling a girl smart will make us think "they're saying that because I'm ugly."

... You can't win, really. Sorry.

Yep. Got it in one.

I've heard people say "Compliment a girl a thousand times and she won't believe you. Insult her once and she'll never forget it."
That seems to be the case, sadly.

It's only really you that can tell yourself that you aren't as bad as you think. People complimenting you help, but in the end it's your choice.
I've more or less grown out of my body issues (I could worry how big my ass is, but I'm more worried about if I have the money to pay my bills this month) but it does come back with a vengeance sometimes and anything can set it off.

Usually a compliment off someone I love sorts me out.
Be very careful what you say to women though. Anything slightly bad can and will be used against you.

 

[gazumped]

What could have been said to make you feel not gross?

I'll do even better, I'll tell you what has been said that made me feel not gross.

'I love your pretty pink face!' (Made me feel better about my ruddy complexion.)

'That's a cute bush!' (Made me feel better about having a hairy downstairs.)

'You don't understand how much I appreciate small breasts.' (Made me feel better about having a small rack.)

'I like your fleshy bits!' (Made me feel better about having wobbly bits.)

I could go on, but basically, for me, it's when someone doesn't try to pretend that you don't have whatever it is you're self conscious about it, it's when they go 'Yes, you do have , and I LIKE IT.'

 

[BloatedGuppy]

'You don't understand how much I appreciate small breasts.' (Made me feel better about having a small rack.)

I could go on, but basically, for me, it's when someone doesn't try to pretend that you don't have whatever it is you're self conscious about it, it's when they go 'Yes, you do have , and I LIKE IT.'

Who doesn't like a small rack? Racks are fantastic no matter what size they are. Unless they're ridiculously big, no one likes that, least of all the person stuck hefting them around.

Unless...are we talking about ribs? If we're talking about ribs I prefer a large rack. Ribs are delicious!

 

[gazumped]

'You don't understand how much I appreciate small breasts.' (Made me feel better about having a small rack.)

I could go on, but basically, for me, it's when someone doesn't try to pretend that you don't have whatever it is you're self conscious about it, it's when they go 'Yes, you do have , and I LIKE IT.'

Who doesn't like a small rack? Racks are fantastic no matter what size they are. Unless they're ridiculously big, no one likes that, least of all the person stuck hefting them around.

Unless...are we talking about ribs? If we're talking about ribs I prefer a large rack. Ribs are delicious!

Well, hey, I have small boobs and a large rib cage, so you've just made me feel good x2!

... Please don't eat my ribs, though.

But yes, most guys seem to be unbothered about the size. My last boyfriend, however, never complimented my boobs, but frequently vocalised an appreciation for large boobs on other women. An example of how not to increase your girlfriend's self esteem. I'd never actually take my top off in front of him in the light even though I'd never had an issue with running around topless in front of previous boyfriends, the self consciousness has carried over a little into my new relationship although I can reason myself out of it if I try.

 

[Kopikatsu]

'You don't understand how much I appreciate small breasts.' (Made me feel better about having a small rack.)

I could go on, but basically, for me, it's when someone doesn't try to pretend that you don't have whatever it is you're self conscious about it, it's when they go 'Yes, you do have , and I LIKE IT.'

Who doesn't like a small rack? Racks are fantastic no matter what size they are. Unless they're ridiculously big, no one likes that, least of all the person stuck hefting them around.

Unless...are we talking about ribs? If we're talking about ribs I prefer a large rack. Ribs are delicious!

Small racks aren't that great. I mean, they're good if space is a concern, but my walls have a lot of empty space and I have a lot of little nick-knacks that I'd like to hang around the house. Getting a large rack is much more effective than just going out and getting 2-3 smaller ones from IKEA or something.

...Oh, you mean breasts? In that case, I'm a fan of girls that are members of the A-Cup Alliance.

 

[BloatedGuppy]

My last boyfriend, however, never complimented my boobs, but frequently vocalised an appreciation for large boobs on other women. An example of how not to increase your girlfriend's self esteem. I'd never actually take my top off in front of him in the light even though I'd never had an issue with running around topless in front of previous boyfriends, the self consciousness has carried over a little into my new relationship although I can reason myself out of it if I try.

Ah, see...the problem there wasn't that your breasts were too small, the problem there was your ex-boyfriend was a thoughtless dipshit.

Thank you Escapist, you kinda made my day. :3

Love the avatar. Looks like it's wearing nothin' at all...nothin' at all...nothin' at all!

 

[IamQ]

"Hey, look, the new Assassin's Creed game just came out."

...

OK, admittedly it wouldn't solve my body image issues but it's a hell of a good distraction from them.

I think if you have body dysmorphia there's never really any one thing you can say to lessen it. Actually, even compliments on your looks can make it worse. If someone says, "Oh, you have a lovely figure" it just reinforces the idea that everyone's looking at you and judging your looks.

So, all in all, the sulution is "Nut up or shut up" ?

Or since this is for the ladies uhh..."Ovaries up or shut up" ? "Jam out with your clam out" ? Sorry, I'm not very good at genderbending these things.

 

[mechashiva77]

Well, I have my parents to thank for my body issues. I've been told that I'll never attract a guy because I don't wear these close, or do this with my hair, or if I don't take care of the bumps on my face. Eventually I equated with me just being ugly in general. Even after I entered my relationship with my boyfriend, I still flip-flop over exactly how pretty I am. I've gotten better though. Now I believe I am only ugly from the neck up

 

[Overusedname]

*takes out pen and paper to make notes for future relationships*

Don't mind me, folks. *cough*

 

[smithy_2045]

In my extensive experience, "you have great tits" is a consistent crowd pleaser.

 

[Vault101]

Forget the drama about why.

What could have been said to make you feel not gross?

I won't bore you with my reason for asking.

[i/]I'd still F*** you....[/i]

no?....uh yeah I don't know

I never had really bad body image issues...I don't consider myslf overly attractive eather

 

[Snowbell]

Only seriously gorgeous photos of myself could snap me out of my body dismorphia, and there aren't any of those around ;_;

Although I don't have anything wrong with my face - no acne, unusual facial structure, scarring, over/under sized features - I just look so ugly to myself.

I know I'm skinny, I'm a size 8 UK so I must be, but when I look in the mirror I just look so fat and chunky, it's horrid I try not to let it get me down, there's not really much I can do about it so I push it to the back of my mind. I want to say I don't worry about it, but I do.