QUICK! my essay is due tomorrow!

[quantum mechanic]

If you're pre-IB, you can use this as practice for the writing on the IB (and AP) exams! Pick two books or two poems you've studied (this year or last year, but something relatively fresh in your mind). Compare & contrast, looking for central themes. Once you have something you can make a thesis out of (note: the thesis is VERY important), outline it and go!

Also, make sure you cite any sources you use, even if it's just the books/poems you're using. You'll have to do this in college anyway, it's good academic courtesy, and your teacher might be impressed.

 

[Delsana]

WAY TO PROCRASTINATE!

 

[RidetheLightning]

Do an essay about the Uncanny Valley and just copy what was said Extra Credits

 

[fix-the-spade]

I have to do a comparative essay and its due tomorrow. it doesn't have to be more then a page but i have no clue as to what i could do for a good topic, major brain fart. Any ideas or suggestions?

Effective time management and planning: An essay in how I managed to get it all wrong regardless.

Good luck!

 

[Maximum_Power_Cheese_Supreme]

30 September 2011 4:24 am - I have to do a comparative essay and its due tomorrow.

By tomorrow do you mean this morning? Haha, I am so you. I had to do a comparison essay, I did it on 1984 and Brave New World. I hadn't even read all of BNW. I also got an A for an essay on The Lovely Bones with only reading the first half of it. Just wasn't that interested in BNW or The Love-velly Bones.

 

[Koroviev]

Write about something that interests you. Carefully define each "object" and then compare and contrast their attributes and functionality as you would those of apples and oranges, authors and artists, video games and another form of media, etc. Break it down into a straightforward, analytical assignment.

 

[Frankster]

Lol at all the hating coming from people, because they've all never ever left anything to the last minute

To be fair, I think both the organized people who clicked on thread for a laugh AND fellow procastrinators who were drawn to the cries of help are hating in equal amount

Prim and proper organized people would moralize no matter what, but in the case of the other group: Procastrinators can't believe this laziness is possible, despite their name procastrinators tend to be GODS at damage control and emergency essay writing, and just dodging academic bullets in general. Being lazy requires more work and skill then people think.

When a procastrinator asks for help from his/her bretheren, we lazy people are eager to help as cooperation with others is one of our means of survival.
However OP litterally hands us the work and goes "here, do it for me" which is againt all procastrinator protocol.
"We are as lazy, if not lazier then you are, so don't ask things you wouldn't bother with yourself" is the rule. And no lazy person worth his/her salt is gonna do the full work of another person, it's against the code.

Edit: Am now extremely curious to see if OP pulled through or not.

 

[Sir Thomas Sean Connery]

I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING!
i have high 90's in all my classes so im not dumb or lazy, i just can't think of ANYTHING which is very weird so all i am doing is asking for your help!

You're on an internet forum when you should be working on a paper. You're a procrastinator. I should know, we can smell our own.

One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us. One of us.

Gooble Gobble Gooble Gobble.

OT: I would compare Ninjas and Dinosaurs. It can't fail.

 

[Section Crow]

your essay is due tomorrow and instead of trying to do it you make a thread to see if we can help?

i see flaws in your logic my friend but for the sake of it, just focus on one idea and use that idea to branch it into others and try to keep the rhythm of that going.

 

[lacktheknack]

I AM NOT PROCRASTINATING!
i have high 90's in all my classes so im not dumb or lazy, i just can't think of ANYTHING which is very weird so all i am doing is asking for your help!

"I am not procrastinating, I just have an essay DUE TOMORROW"

Right.

Anyways, compare ceiling fans to standing fans.

 

[Z of the Na'vi]

He could compare Digimon to Pokemon?
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/archive/7/73/20110128203738!Trollface.png

I wrote a two page paper on that last year. Got an A on it due to my objective way of comparing the two. It wasn't hard, they really are two completely different franchises. Go figure.

OT: Oh, I don't know. Compare apples to oranges or something. It's your homework, not ours.

 

[Aetera]

Oh! Also? If you're really having trouble writing a single page of bullshit, here are some tips from an English Lit major:

-Quotes. Seriously. Long quotes can really pad out an essay.
-Break your essay up into smaller paragraphs. It will take up more space.
-Restate your ideas in different ways for "clarity," and over-explain things. For example, instead of writing "X and X in fact have many similarities." Write "The juxtaposition of X and X, while appearing on the surface to be at opposite ends of the(subject genre) spectrum, in fact reveal numerous shared qualities upon closer examination. The two in fact share many similar and related elements, and their comparison reveals much about the nature of the two subjects."
-????
-Profit!

 

[The Random One]

Compare making an essay beforehand on a well researched topic to making an essay just on time without enough to do it well.

Ooo, better! Compare making an essay just on time to not doing one at all!

guys did you ever see tsuipli existence. i saw them live last week. they tune tribal instruments for three hours and then leave the stange. it's transcedental. the didgeridoo girl is pretty hot

 

[Randomperson9999999]

compare doing your work and not doing your work

 

[captainordo]

Compare the tactics used by the American Army and the Russian Army in WWII

 

[Pirakahunter788]

Oh! Also? If you're really having trouble writing a single page of bullshit, here are some tips from an English Lit major:

-Quotes. Seriously. Long quotes can really pad out an essay.
-Break your essay up into smaller paragraphs. It will take up more space.
-Restate your ideas in different ways for "clarity," and over-explain things. For example, instead of writing "X and X in fact have many similarities." Write "The juxtaposition of X and X, while appearing on the surface to be at opposite ends of the(subject genre) spectrum, in fact reveal numerous shared qualities upon closer examination. The two in fact share many similar and related elements, and their comparison reveals much about the nature of the two subjects."
-????
-Profit!

Pure genius my friend.
I must try these tips out sometime.

 

[StarCecil]

In all seriousness, do a comparative essay on an essay written with due preparation compared to one written the day before.

I once wrote a technical (how-to) essay in middle school on how to write a how-to essay. Teacher fell in love.

 

[Simskiller]

500 words? Psha easy, just make a 5 paragraph essay with 3 points. I could burn those out on my lappy during lunch/the spare before class in 40 minutes.

Compare: Doing homework the period before class and the night before class.

Speaking as an English professor, if I were teaching a grade 10 AP english class, I'd want my students to compare/contrast something that we'd been reading. If you've been reading any literature, like your Greek plays (I think that 10th grade is Classical Lit) or epics, then you'll probably earn brownie points for having treated two characters from two separate works. The previous suggestions seem sound enough, but I'm worried that you might get chapped for not having done any academic sources (example of Aeneas etc. excepted, naturally).

But if the prompt doesn't specify, I guess anything is fair game? If you can briefly describe your readings that you've done, I might be able to recommend something more concrete.

Problem with that is it's September and they've probably only have done one book, maybe only got through half way of it. If it's a dickens they've probably only gone through 25% of it.

What do grade 10's read anyway? Animal Farm? Lord of the flies? Lord of the flies was fun for me as I read it over the weekend and spoiled it for everyone on the monday.

Spoiler

Piggy Dies

 

[SinisterGehe]

Write about how hard it is coming up with ideas to write about. I did a speech once in school in which I spoke about how hard and frightening it is speaking in public and coming up with an idea.

I got 9/10 from speech 6½/10 from the text itself. I am not that good of a writer but... I am REALLY good speaker, specially when it comes to random topics which really at the their essence make no sense.

 

[Atheist.]

Compare apples to oranges, just as a big fuck you to all the people who say you can't.