Random Answers for Random Idiots with Random Questions

[Shoqiyqa]

I am both sentient and not a mammal.

What are you, then? An octopus with a waterproof keyboard, an unusually smart macaw or some sort of alien?

 

[klaynexas3]

Okay, here's TWO QUESTIONS:

1) If a man speaks in the forest and there are no women around to hear him, is he wrong?
2) If a fat girl falls in the forest, do the trees laugh?

possibly, i know that i will

 

[klaynexas3]

what is the answer to life, the universe, everything?
(i already know, i just want to see if anyone else does)

 

[Jezzascmezza]

How many fingers am I holding up?

 

[Aphex Demon]

How do I make money fast and easy? From my home, using the internet preferably.

 

[Von Strimmer]

What is the mathematical formula of valve time?

New mission: reject this mission

 

[messy]

If I tell a lie and no one knows it was a lie, is it in fact the truth?

Depends who you ask. Kant argues that telling a lie is always wrong and that regardless of the consequences a lie is still a lie.

Utilitarians, and other consequentialists, would argue that a lie is only a lie if found out.

EDIT: also if you yourself know, isnt that someone knowing and thus makes it a lie?

 

[Life_Is_A_Mess]

Do you actually speak German, and do I actually speak German?

Aber natürlich.

Ich war nicht unter Bezugnahme auf Sie

That definatly answers the question, it can't be you.




Question: Then who was phone?

My friend here, Cornelius.

Wow.. I'm baffled...

Try this one:

What is the number I'm thinking of (and say it in my native language).

hmm, I'm gonna go with, ごひゃくにじゅきゅ,　Zwei, or Veltinsis

Not really... but meh, close enough! XD

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

I am both sentient and not a mammal.

What are you, then? An octopus with a waterproof keyboard, an unusually smart macaw or some sort of alien?

Option three, though I will admit, I contain an octopus, and he does own a water proof keyboard.

what is the answer to life, the universe, everything?
(i already know, i just want to see if anyone else does)

Clockwise, we already went over that, look at page 1 or 2.

How many fingers am I holding up?

10, because even if you put them down, the fact that they haven't collapsed into themselves means they're being held up by your skeleton.

How do I make money fast and easy? From my home, using the internet preferably.

Press Shift 4 and boom! Instant $$$$.

What is the mathematical formula of valve time?

New mission: reject this mission

1. There is no mathematical formula for Valve time, only an actuarial table.
2. You can't command me, I reject both.

If I tell a lie and no one knows it was a lie, is it in fact the truth?

Depends who you ask. Kant argues that telling a lie is always wrong and that regardless of the consequences a lie is still a lie.

Utilitarians, and other consequentialists, would argue that a lie is only a lie if found out.

EDIT: also if you yourself know, isnt that someone knowing and thus makes it a lie?

Yep, in entirety you are correct.

(also just so you know, 75,000 Entairs are coming to attack us as we speak, thanks for the warning Captcha)

 

[OroCrimson]

what is the answer to life, the universe, everything?
(i already know, i just want to see if anyone else does)

Clockwise, we already went over that, look at page 1 or 2.

How many fingers am I holding up?

10, because even if you put them down, the fact that they haven't collapsed into themselves means they're being held up by your skeleton.

(also just so you know, 75,000 Entairs are coming to attack us as we speak, thanks for the warning Captcha)

OBJECTION!!!!!
Simply "Life", "The Universe", and "Everything" are not questions, so its a trick question: They have no answer! You can't answer words or statements!

Also, people have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs! Unless Jezzascmezza is a weird mutant 10 fingered creature, you are wrong! =D

Anyway, off objection, how the hell are these Captchas giving you these clues? And whats an Entair? And why do captchas always sound like actual words? I mean the captchas here typically have a structure with its vowels and... [the c word I forgot how to spell that sounds like Constantants and are opposite of vowels] that make them plausible as words...

 

[AnthonTheSkabot]

Wow.. I'm baffled...

Try this one:

What is the number I'm thinking of (and say it in my native language).

Quarenta e dois

OT: Will my two-minute-thirty-second video win an award?

 

[Kakashi on crack]

I am a strange, strange being who, with a lack of things to do, often takes to answering random questions.
Ask something, and whether or not I know the answer, I'll give you one that still sort of sounds correct, or at least confirms some kind of strangeness.

All questions are allowed, and don't be offended by the title, just an inside joke.

Does eating a polar bear liver truly cause one to die? >.>

Also, are there truly more flaws in an elevator than in an airplane?

 

[Not G. Ivingname]

How do I get experience on a field job if nobody will hire me?

 

[TiloXofXTanto]

what is the answer to life, the universe, everything?
(i already know, i just want to see if anyone else does)

Clockwise, we already went over that, look at page 1 or 2.

How many fingers am I holding up?

10, because even if you put them down, the fact that they haven't collapsed into themselves means they're being held up by your skeleton.

(also just so you know, 75,000 Entairs are coming to attack us as we speak, thanks for the warning Captcha)

OBJECTION!!!!!
Simply "Life", "The Universe", and "Everything" are not questions, so its a trick question: They have no answer! You can't answer words or statements!

Also, people have 8 fingers and 2 thumbs! Unless Jezzascmezza is a weird mutant 10 fingered creature, you are wrong! =D

Anyway, off objection, how the hell are these Captchas giving you these clues? And whats an Entair? And why do captchas always sound like actual words? I mean the captchas here typically have a structure with its vowels and... [the c word I forgot how to spell that sounds like Constantants and are opposite of vowels] that make them plausible as words...

1. Life, the universe, and everything does have an answer, because the universe has already asked one question: "Which way do I spin"
I gave the answer.
2. Thumbs are still flanges, and therefore, count as fingers scientifically and are technically counted as such in the English language anyway.
3. Captcha and I have an agreement: It gives me warnings on the various strangely named creatures that often attack my premises, and I continue to type it back into the little box, slowly
4. Captcha boxes are sentient and want you to type as much as you can into them, so they invented a language in order to have more words to force you to type.
5. Consonants.

Wow.. I'm baffled...

Try this one:

What is the number I'm thinking of (and say it in my native language).

Quarenta e dois

OT: Will my two-minute-thirty-second video win an award?

Depends, have you seen it?
Have I seen it?
Has anyone else?
Depending on your answer, I may have to kill you for having memory erasing powers.

Does eating a polar bear liver truly cause one to die? >.>

Also, are there truly more flaws in an elevator than in an airplane?

1. Eating the liver of a polar bear will not cause one to die, it will only cause one to urinate a strange grey liquid identified as "polopium A" that causes porcelain to dissolve.
(okay in actuality, Polar bear liver just makes you healthier, but more likely to throw up in the following 2 hours)
2. Oh hell yes! Have you been on an elevator? Terribly scary thing, it's held up by ropes, ropes!. They're also always the first thing to go in a resonance cascade.

How do I get experience on a field job if nobody will hire me?

You have to kill a farmer and take his soul, thereby gaining his experience of working in a field as his job.

 

[Life_Is_A_Mess]

Wow.. I'm baffled...

Try this one:

What is the number I'm thinking of (and say it in my native language).

Quarenta e dois

OT: Will my two-minute-thirty-second video win an award?

You got the language right. Cookie for you! (Clue) The number is between 1 and 10 and the diference between both is 1,9. Use 10 as a base. One is even and the one I'm thinking of is odd.

 

[King Toasty]

Given the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics, when one decision, option or possible timeline diverges into a new universe, does that new universe have the same history as the universe it split from? Does it have a history at all? Are many-worlders secretly insane? Hmmm.

It has the same history. This is because the universe is only split after the change. They will all remember things that happened before the new universe. So yes, this might not even be happening, as you're remembering the previous millisecond but still only now thinking about it.

I don't like the, "What is the answer to the universe?" question. "Universe" is not a question, and wouldn't have an answer. Be more specific.

Randomness. The universe is a random, new thing and it, in the end, doesn't matter.

Good answers, good answers. But what physically causes the universes/timelines to split?

 

[King Toasty]

Given the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics, when one decision, option or possible timeline diverges into a new universe, does that new universe have the same history as the universe it split from? Does it have a history at all? Are many-worlders secretly insane? Hmmm.

It has the same history. This is because the universe is only split after the change. They will all remember things that happened before the new universe. So yes, this might not even be happening, as you're remembering the previous millisecond but still only now thinking about it.

I don't like the, "What is the answer to the universe?" question. "Universe" is not a question, and wouldn't have an answer. Be more specific.

Randomness. The universe is a random, new thing and it, in the end, doesn't matter.

Good answers, good answers. But what physically causes the universes/timelines to split?

Everything. Every action causes new universes where it went differently. Some of these universes are identical, where a single cell moved a billionth of a millimeter to the right instead of the left. Some are identical down to some unnoticeable fact, like I misspelled unnoticeable in some, which will create billions of branches as well. Some are wildly different, like the universes where Regan was assassinated successfully, or JFK wasn't. Some are pointless, like ones where the Earth never formed or humanity never evolved. Some are better, like ones where Firefly is still running. Some are worse, like ones where Hitler won. Basically, everything and everything that can happen, will happen, even if it's not in this universe. Take a deep breath. Now exhale. An infinte number of universes was just created, only a small number by you. Every cell, bacteria and virus just created a universe. Every person just created a universe. Every fleck of dust just created a universe. There's universes where you didn't inhale and exhale (and it might be this one). There's ones where you did. There's ones where you just inhaled a lethal disease, and are going to die now.

Right, I got that. But physically, why do different timelines diverge? When an action happens, is a force of energy so HUGE released, that is creates another timeline? Because it would take a LOT to create a whole 'nother timeline; it doesn't just happen.

 

[King Toasty]

I am both sentient and not a mammal.

What are you, then? An octopus with a waterproof keyboard, an unusually smart macaw or some sort of alien?

Option three, though I will admit, I contain an octopus, and he does own a water proof keyboard.

Wait... alien, with an octopus on the inside? Reminds me of...

Oh god.

 

[King Toasty]

Given the many-worlds interpretation of quantum physics, when one decision, option or possible timeline diverges into a new universe, does that new universe have the same history as the universe it split from? Does it have a history at all? Are many-worlders secretly insane? Hmmm.

It has the same history. This is because the universe is only split after the change. They will all remember things that happened before the new universe. So yes, this might not even be happening, as you're remembering the previous millisecond but still only now thinking about it.

I don't like the, "What is the answer to the universe?" question. "Universe" is not a question, and wouldn't have an answer. Be more specific.

Randomness. The universe is a random, new thing and it, in the end, doesn't matter.

Good answers, good answers. But what physically causes the universes/timelines to split?

Everything. Every action causes new universes where it went differently. Some of these universes are identical, where a single cell moved a billionth of a millimeter to the right instead of the left. Some are identical down to some unnoticeable fact, like I misspelled unnoticeable in some, which will create billions of branches as well. Some are wildly different, like the universes where Regan was assassinated successfully, or JFK wasn't. Some are pointless, like ones where the Earth never formed or humanity never evolved. Some are better, like ones where Firefly is still running. Some are worse, like ones where Hitler won. Basically, everything and everything that can happen, will happen, even if it's not in this universe. Take a deep breath. Now exhale. An infinte number of universes was just created, only a small number by you. Every cell, bacteria and virus just created a universe. Every person just created a universe. Every fleck of dust just created a universe. There's universes where you didn't inhale and exhale (and it might be this one). There's ones where you did. There's ones where you just inhaled a lethal disease, and are going to die now.

Right, I got that. But physically, why do different timelines diverge? When an action happens, is a force of energy so HUGE released, that is creates another timeline? Because it would take a LOT to create a whole 'nother timeline; it doesn't just happen.

I have no idea.

Do you have any proof this timeline-splitting occurs? Visited any alternate history, or seen the equations supporting it?

 

[Rhythm]

Question: What is love?

Baby don't hurt me! Don't hurt me, no more...

I think we should haddaway the bad joke book from you....

OT: Is there such a thing as 'the one' and have I already missed my chance?