Random unexpected encounter

[jebbo]

OK only for the more mature Escapists -

I've been single for a while and to be honest I don't really want a relationship - I've got uni coming up and just for the simplicity I'd like to keep things simple on the bird front. To get to the point:

I'd had my eye on this girl for a while, part of one social group I frequent regularly. Was gonna ask her out a few months back but she got a 'boyfriend'

Anyway the other night I had a *few* and told her how I felt... the response was unexpected - she happily came back to my place and... well things went well...

But what to do? Should I carry on after the girl for more while I still can, or just leave it as a one night thing. Or perhaps try to plug her to come to me as a *thing on the side* when/if her boyfriend messes up?

Oh complicated.. not been in this position with a *mate* before. Especially one who's just got involved with someone

 

[MasterSqueak]

*Reads title*

...Of the thirty-fourth kind!

But yeah, sounds complicated and something I can not help with.

 

[Radeonx]

If she is going out with someone, then going out with her is definitely a bad idea. If you want to get her, wait for her and her boyfriend to get separated.

 

[SnootyEnglishman]

Hmm..this is a toughie i say keep tryin but if it dont work out then i can help no further

 

[teisjm]

I'm still amazed that theres at least oen post a month where some dude asks a bunch of gamers for dating/sex advise, i thought we were stigmatized as loosers who wouldn't leave moms basement till we turned 30 and not get laid till we turned 40 and paid for it.

That beeing said, she's got a boyfriend, so you're not the one in control, just roll with it and see what happens

 

[Amnestic]

Asking for relationship advice? On my Escapist?

It's more likely than you may think!

Keep it up, work for it, don't back down.

Worst comes to worst, it doesn't work. Sucks, but you'll get over it. On the other hand, you could end up with a girl you like for a few . What do you have to lose?

If she is going out with someone, then going out with her is definitely a bad idea. If you want to get her, wait for her and her boyfriend to get separated.

It stands to reason that she doesn't care that much about her boyfriend if she went back to the OPs place and "stuff" occured.

 

[LitigationJackson]

i read this as unexpected combat encounters in a game... lol

 

[Irridium]

I would go after her, but try to do it without her boyfriend noticing, otherwise bad things will happen.

If she is going out with someone, then going out with her is definitely a bad idea. If you want to get her, wait for her and her boyfriend to get separated.

It stands to reason that she doesn't care that much about her boyfriend if she went back to the OPs place and "stuff" occured.

She also could have had a *few*

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

I'd like to be more helpful than this but - If she does break up with her boyfriend, wait a while. If only for her reputation.

And if she's upset you don't want to be the rebound guy.

 

[jebbo]

If she is going out with someone, then going out with her is definitely a bad idea. If you want to get her, wait for her and her boyfriend to get separated.

Oh I don't want to go out with her... I'm totally off relationships after the the 2 1/2 year ordeal with the ex, Just want to try and keep this one as a going concern y'know..

So she comes to me as a bit on the side (as she already has done)

Just not sure how to play it in terms of staying in contact... this digital age is a *****!

 

[Anacortian]

If you don't rally want a relationship, then walk away. If you do want a relationship, anybody not married is fare game. If you want a relationship with her, remember that a girl who will sleep with you when she's fighting with her boyfriend is a girl who would sleep with somebody else when she is fighting with you.

I hope that helps.

 

[jebbo]

I would go after her, but try to do it without her boyfriend noticing, otherwise bad things will happen.

If she is going out with someone, then going out with her is definitely a bad idea. If you want to get her, wait for her and her boyfriend to get separated.

It stands to reason that she doesn't care that much about her boyfriend if she went back to the OPs place and "stuff" occured.

She also could have had a *few*

Oh she had.. you should see the marks she left on my back! haha

 

[Amnestic]

She also could have had a *few*

I don't buy into the whole "Alcohol made me sleep with him/her" argument. My view is that they wanted it in the first place, alcohol just removed their inhibitions and acted on desire.

 

[RnAoDm]

Get her thoughts on it. At least it might narrow your choices down

 

[Wildrow12]

"Oh she had.. you should see the marks she left on my back! haha"

Woah. A good night huh, tiger?

I have two questions which I think will help me (and other posters) better understand your situation. Please note that I mean no offense and my questions are meant to better aid you.

Question 1: When you mentioned her significant other you put it in quotation marks. Does she or does she not have a boyfriend?

Question 2 (based on the response to Q1): How then would it make you feel (emotionally/socially) to be "the other man" (the one she is cheating on the other dude with)?

 

[Irridium]

I would go after her, but try to do it without her boyfriend noticing, otherwise bad things will happen.

If she is going out with someone, then going out with her is definitely a bad idea. If you want to get her, wait for her and her boyfriend to get separated.

It stands to reason that she doesn't care that much about her boyfriend if she went back to the OPs place and "stuff" occured.

She also could have had a *few*

Oh she had.. you should see the marks she left on my back! haha

HOHO! Well well well, very interesting, I would ask what she did but its most likely better I don't know.

She also could have had a *few*

I don't buy into the whole "Alcohol made me sleep with him/her" argument. My view is that they wanted it in the first place, alcohol just removed their inhibitions and acted on desire.

I actually agree. I think alcohol brings out who the person really is. Its just people usually believe it, so it makes a nice, convenient excuse.

But alcohol does make people look more attractive, or it may make you dumber, or a combination. Either way, don't drink when there are certain people around.

 

[Kuchinawa212]

Made me think of Jessie's girl

No but really, wait until they break up, don't make them break up.

 

[Mischiviktus]

This is a relatively complicated situation. From what I read, she's still with her other boyfriend, so she cheated. The possibility of her cheating on you exists when you date (fights occur regardless of what you do, even over silly things). You also might need to address the fact that if she drops him and goes for you, and he finds out, he might be compulsive and "vengeful".

Alcohol is the best drug though, it brings out the real person, no cloaks and daggers, so it might be 100% plausible that she loves you, and the guy is somewhat of a loose end, and is closer to a one night stand then what you had.

I say go for it, but prepare for the worst.

 

[jebbo]

"Oh she had.. you should see the marks she left on my back! haha"

Woah. A good night huh, tiger?

I have two questions which I think will help me (and other posters) better understand your situation. Please note that I mean no offense and my questions are meant to better aid you.

Question 1: When you mentioned her significant other you put it in quotation marks. Does she or does she not have a boyfriend?

Question 2 (based on the response to Q1): How then would it make you feel (emotionally/socially) to be "the other man" (the one she is cheating on the other dude with)?

All I meant by putting him in 'q' marks is that she's not been with him for long, so I don't see him as a threat. Anyway I don't actually want the girl as a girlfriend, just as a f**kbuddy (i hate that term)

Normally I wouldn't go near a girl with a man, just out of respect, but she was something else.. something I just had to go for that night and... Apparently her man wasn't all that - especially after what she said...

 

[Wildrow12]

"Oh she had.. you should see the marks she left on my back! haha"

Woah. A good night huh, tiger?

I have two questions which I think will help me (and other posters) better understand your situation. Please note that I mean no offense and my questions are meant to better aid you.

Question 1: When you mentioned her significant other you put it in quotation marks. Does she or does she not have a boyfriend?

Question 2 (based on the response to Q1): How then would it make you feel (emotionally/socially) to be "the other man" (the one she is cheating on the other dude with)?

All I meant by putting him in 'q' marks is that she's not been with him for long, so I don't see him as a threat. Anyway I don't actually want the girl as a girlfriend, just as a f**kbuddy (i hate that term)

Normally I wouldn't go near a girl with a man, just out of respect, but she was something else.. something I just had to go for that night and... Apparently her man wasn't all that - especially after what she said...

Okay, so he actually exists. You've seen this guy before? You don't think she is making this guy up just to give herself some kind of leverage? I'm not making any accusations, I just want to know your thoughts on this.

Secondly, okay....so it's a physical thing to you? There is no emotional connect beyond your mutual need for sex? I don't mean to pry, but this is an important to consider before anything else.