Real-life porn scenarios

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EPIC_MAN_OF_BACON

New member
Apr 7, 2012
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GangstaPony said:
I had been approached by a Teacher who had recently gone through a horrible divorce.
She called me to her office and said she needed someone to talk to.
I'm just a slightly above average student but me and my Teacher are good friends.
This happened in my 2nd year of college. I was 20 and she was 32 (also very pretty).

She actually requested me to hold/hug her for a bit and I took a slight advantage of the situation.
I kissed her full on the lips and she was all, "Hey! What are you doing?"

I apologized and then she did the same talking about how it was her fault with me being a hormonal teenager and all. Although she cheekily admitted to having enjoyed it. We talked some more, I gave her some comforting words and that was that. We have not spoken of the incident since. Though I do fantasize about her. As of today, I just finished my 3rd and final year
Huh, you know my wife is a teacher. This reminds me of the time she was working late, and i came to give her some supper. and you can't help notice when your woman is lookin good in her skirt (long one but still a skirt) and nice blouse. so after we were done i just kissed her. didn't think it would turn into this whole role play thing of how i had been misbehaving and she was going to punish me. I was on her desk and she was on me.

Yeah, im pretty much the family guy of sex stories, with how much i say, "that reminds me of the time...." DON'T JUDGE ME!
 

EPIC_MAN_OF_BACON

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Apr 7, 2012
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thisbymaster said:
I had just hired this babysitter to watch my kids. She was the most beautiful woman that I had ever seen. Her face made me melt. She had perfect DD breasts that were still full of milk. She was a gymnast and had a perfect hourglass figure. I fell in love the first time I met her. After the first time interviewing her, she invited me out to the beach where we walked along the beach where she told me about her abusive husband and I told her about my abusive ex-wife. We found each other on a level I had never connected to another woman, person or anyone. In our loneliness we saw each other as a life raft. The next day was her birthday and she invited me to come out with her and her family. We had a good time together and her two girls played with my two girls. She invited me to come to church the next weekend with her and her family. She lead the church service with her voice that seemed to be descended from heaven itself. After church we went back to her place to have me inspect the house so she can watch the girls there. We sat down on the couch after her parents went upstairs to relax for the day. I bet over to pick something up on the other side of her and she whispered in my ear, "You know if anything happens, you will get hurt." I said back, "I know but nothing pleasurable comes without some pain." She grabbed my head and pushed me down on to the top of her shoulder. I kissed and ran my tongue up and down her neck as she started to moan softly. I started running my hands down between her legs slowly reaching closer and closer to her ever trusting crotch. Down deep between her legs I worked my figures to their best, until she said. "Inside." In my ear, the joy that shot through my body made every bit of me feel like a person again, like all the hardships of my life were meaningless and I was at once whole again. I ran my hands down her pants and found the sweet bounty within her moaning turned from quiet to regular voice in my ear. I felt her body move like it had finally been released from chains that had bound her. I could feel her finger nails scratch against the back of my shirt. Then in one motion she playfully clamped down on my shoulder with her teeth. But one of her girls interrupted us asking if mommy was OK. We went over to the kitchen and she pushed herself up on the counter and pulled me towards her. There was no holding back for her now. I pulled down her shirt and found her treasure once again, she moaned and thrashed at me time and again. But still the kids kept coming over to stop us. I finally just put my mouth to the honey pot and went to town. We kept it up but each time no matter what if the kids were around they would always get in the way. Finally two weeks later she came over to my apartment and we made sweet beautiful love to me. A week later she was gone, nothing more then "I don't want to talk anymore for real this time." Here I am a month later and all I can think about is her.
Im pretty sure the part about the kids stopping us well be true for me and my wife in a few years. but we will be ready, we're good at hiding ;D

still, i feel you bro. thats a good story, liked it. you go my man, you go.... for another beauty or decide if you will try to find her. its all you my man
 

ElPatron

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Jul 18, 2011
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8-Bit_Jack said:
ElPatron said:
Did you find out about Reddit today or something?
What?
Normal people don't say things like "le wild X appears" nor "hurr durr 4chan references lulz".

I'm sure I am not the only one sick of seeing "le" everywhere.
 

CAPTCHA

Mushroom Camper
Sep 30, 2009
1,075
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My first sexual experience involved two girls, an acrylic paint set and copious blowjobs.

Also:

My girlfriend says that years ago she was taking a car for a test drive and then she earned a discount from the salesman in the back seat.

ED: also for a lot of these posts, pics or it didn't happen. lol
 

Sporky111

Digital Wizard
Dec 17, 2008
4,009
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Okay, I have one. It was the morning after a party and my roomie had to go to work early. He left one of his friends passed out on the couch. The guy woke up a bit later and just kind of awkwardly hung out for a bit before starting to talk to me. The topic of relationships and sexuality came up. He wasn't having any luck with the ladies and hadn't gotten any action in a while, but he gradually worked up to admitting some interest in me and finally said that if I helped him get off he'd do the same for me. "You show yours, I'll show mine" pretty much.

So there's your porn scenario: I had sex with my roommate's straight friend (the roomie will never know).
 

winginson

New member
Mar 27, 2011
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I had sex behind her roommates back without her noticing
Actually she did notice and wanted to join us
Actually she wanted to join her. They have been together for 4 years now and thats my latest story much to my regret.

Captcha "trust me". Oh please do, and while you are at it can I look after your bank details?
 

userwhoquitthesite

New member
Jul 23, 2009
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ElPatron said:
8-Bit_Jack said:
ElPatron said:
Did you find out about Reddit today or something?
What?
Normal people don't say things like "le wild X appears" nor "hurr durr 4chan references lulz".

I'm sure I am not the only one sick of seeing "le" everywhere.
Um... Deal with it? Not sure what to tell you.
Besides, I said "for the lulz". A specific phrase describing an activity undertaken for no reason other than amusement or occupation of one's free time. Had I said "[sarcastic porn-like scenario], lulz" then you would have a valid case to make against my post, on the grounds of abusing the English language. Instead, I made use of a (perhaps overused, but that's not my problem) joke, making a comical comparison to another user group based on an intentionally poor chain of logic that draws a patently ridiculous conclusion and treats it as inevitable. This is known as a "Facetious statement". It is often intended for humorous effect. If you did not find it so, that is your issue, not mine.

In summation:

[HEADING=2]Mitch, Bhine, Woan[/HEADING]
 

II2

New member
Mar 13, 2010
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After all the 'but it didn't really', a the conditions for a few surprise real life carnal scenarios basically went as follows:

Drinking with friends, everyone gets completely bombed off their face, people start fooling around jokingly, the 'joke' becomes a bunch of people having sex... FFWD to the morning... Nobody can stand to look at each other and everyone feels sick. Things are a bit awkard for a week or two. In a month it's considered a fond memory and a good time had by all.