Real-life porn scenarios

[Bara_no_Hime]

I've had sex. Sex happens in porn.
So yes.

The rest of your story, which is kind of interesting, is extremely hard to follow due to all of the spoilers and corrections/modifications/clarifications. You might want to consider an edit to make the story easier to follow.

Or not, if that was your goal.

 

[Alternative]

it was late on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday. I was delivering my last pizza for the night when to my suprise a stunningly beautiful woman answered the door. she was wearing only a towel to cover herself but even with that on i could see she had a perfect body, it was slim with just the right amount of curves and hips that would drive any man wild.
she spoke in a voice that promised amazing, wonderful things
"i dont have any cash, do you accept any other kinds of payment"

i stammered, entranced by her beauty "i-i have a mobile Efpos machine if you want to use a bank card"
she managed to producea purse from somewhere on her body, where she had been hiding it i do not know.

after repeatedly trying her bank crds, all of them being denied

she said to me in a sultry wisper
"im sure i can find some way to pay you for the pizza"
before turning around and walking back into her house leaving me staring at her magnificent ass, her hips swaying with every step.

Spoiler: this is where it gets interesting

she returned shortly with another card, after a couple of trys, and to my disapointment the card worked and i handed her the pizza and the reciet.

she then shut the door leaving me dumbfounded on her doorstep.

 

[JaceArveduin]

Spoiler

it was late on an otherwise uneventful Tuesday. I was delivering my last pizza for the night when to my suprise a stunningly beautiful woman answered the door. she was wearing only a towel to cover herself but even with that on i could see she had a perfect body, it was slim with just the right amount of curves and hips that would drive any man wild.
she spoke in a voice that promised amazing, wonderful things
"i dont have any cash, do you accept any other kinds of payment"

i stammered, entranced by her beauty "i-i have a mobile Efpos machine if you want to use a bank card"
she managed to producea purse from somewhere on her body, where she had been hiding it i do not know.

after repeatedly trying her bank crds, all of them being denied

she said to me in a sultry wisper
"im sure i can find some way to pay you for the pizza"
before turning around and walking back into her house leaving me staring at her magnificent ass, her hips swaying with every step.

Spoiler: this is where it gets interesting

she returned shortly with another card, after a couple of trys, and to my disapointment the card worked and i handed her the pizza and the reciet.

she then shut the door leaving me dumbfounded on her doorstep.

That sounds like what would happen to me on my luckiest days XD

 

[AmrasCalmacil]

You guys are all so damn lucky.
I got forced to wear awkwardly tight leather underwear and wear a mask, then I got taken to this weird basement, which smelled, and violated by a german woman with a strap-on. And she wouldn't stop swearing!

Spoiler

Yeah, no.

 

[spartan231490]

Thank's a lot. Especially for believing me.
For obvious reasons I can't exactly freely share it with everyone.
Truth is stranger than fiction after all.

Captcha: you first. I agree. C'mon OP, give us your naughty, sexy story

Where the fuck were all these hot, horny, lonely MILF teachers when I was in school? This is starting to piss me off. Every two days you hear of some hot chick shagging one of her students. Meanwhile old Smash spent his school days in classes with old farts and one single hot teacher in the entire school. And she was a lesbian.

Captcha: silver lining. I guess the silver lining is I didn't get caught up in a media shit storm about a student boning his teacher. Fair enough.

Don't feel too bad smash, I've never had any hot profs, even lesbians.

OT: I have no stories to go here, and the "no she didn't" thing was old by post 10.

 

[Risingblade]

I had me some of that Jailbait

Spoiler

I really did

 

[Captain Anon]

Don't know if this counts, but here we go. Okay so I was over at my friends house watching shows on Netflix. Eventually his girlfriend came home with this tomboy looking girl. She was wearing jeans and a t-shirt, baseball hat with her ponytail sticking out the back. Now eventually my friend and his girlfriend left to go run some errands for a couple of hours. There was no way I can remember how we got to talking about sex, but after I told her it had been awhile, she looked at me and said this, "you wanna screw in your friends guest bedroom."

Well? What did you say!?!?

You know how weird it is for a girl to lay it all out on the table like that. Of course I just sat there looking like a scared animal who was mumbling. Yeah she had to lead me by the hand, to her it was no big deal, just two adults passing the time in a fun manner.

Frankly, I wish more girls were like this. Not all, just... more. I guess where I am its expected for guys to take the lead 90% of the time. Still, there's few things as cute/sexy as a girl leading you in. In fact, I think this sort of sums up that particular feeling:

you lucky bastard i can't even get a girl to like me much less get to first base with her maybe it's i'm in disabled school or something like that. hopeful things will get better when i go to collage i don't know

 

[Evil Smurf]

my crush looks like Sunny Lane. No I am not linking porn to this website!

 

[kouriichi]

I was teaching a hot ageing widow how to use the internet for email and junk, when she stumbled upon some hentai. We then proceeded to act out her newly found tentacle fetish.

Spoiler: And then she payed me in large bills

Ok, she really didnt pay me.

Spoiler

And we didnt do it either....

 

[Freechoice]

Once again, I see your point but please don't presume she's just some horny MILF bimbo.

Hey, I didn't mean to insult your friend. Sorry if it came off that way.

Heh, came off.

Spoiler

It doesn't make perfect sense.

 

[Simonoly]

About 5 years ago I went for an informal job interview at a pub and ended up having sex with the owner in the gents loo and then again in his office.

This actually happened and it was awesome!

 

[userwhoquitthesite]

A wild AnonIB appears!

watch it escapist, this is how it starts. it goes from stories, to pics or didnt happen, then finally you're trading pregnant triple amputee porn for the lulz

 

[Sean Hollyman]

What's with all the 'I didn't really' things? Am I missing something? :s

 

[spartandude]

I had been approached by a Teacher who had recently gone through a horrible divorce.
She called me to her office and said she needed someone to talk to.
I'm just a slightly above average student but me and my Teacher are good friends.
This happened in my 2nd year of college. I was 20 and she was 32 (also very pretty).

She actually requested me to hold/hug her for a bit and I took a slight advantage of the situation.
I kissed her full on the lips and she was all, "Hey! What are you doing?"

I apologized and then she did the same talking about how it was her fault with me being a hormonal teenager and all. Although she cheekily admitted to having enjoyed it. We talked some more, I gave her some comforting words and that was that. We have not spoken of the incident since. Though I do fantasize about her. As of today, I just finished my 3rd and final year

thats quite sweet

and im going to be honest, i find this much more erotic than most porn is. the whole guy essentially using a jack hammer on a girls vagina while she has fake orgasms doesnt do that much to me but if this kind of story had a happy ending (after a romantic/emotional kind of thing) damn that would get me going

OT
i guess my only remote porn-esc story would be when i was in school
basically we had this gorgeous english teacher (no it didnt happen but its rather embarrasing what did) and she asked me to stay behind after class because as usuall i was late on my homework (no get that thought out of your head now!) so im sitting in my chair then she asks me to cum up (see what i did there) to here desk. in doing say i tripped on something and in a panic tried to reach for anything to hold on to
what happened is that i accidently (and yes it was an accident) grabbed her top and as i fell it ripped off (and i have to say it was a great view). unbelivably i didnt get kicked out of the school as she realised it was a pure accident, my name was supposedly never mentioned in her retelling but i was transferred to another english class i we both recognised after a few more lessons i wasnt able to concentrate with her as the teacher

 

[sage42]

I was in the wait room at my school during co-ed P.E., and a girl randomly pulled down her pants and danced around in her underwear.

Spoiler

I'm glad I'm not kidding.

Spoiler

but I had my glasses off so I didn't see anything.

 

[Sexy Devil]

Has anyone ever actually found themself in a real-life scenario that was very reminiscent of what would happen in pornography? Roleplay doesn't count.

I've told this one before on the Escapists, but it was before you joined. This is probably my most porn-tastic experience:

Last labor day, my spouse, myself, and several friends went out clubbing. Much fun was had by all. One of my friends (who I mentioned recently in another thread) was a bit drunk. She invited all of us back to her place to take a dip in her hot-tub. My spouse and I were like "we'd love to, but we didn't bring swim suits."

She responded "don't worry, you won't need them"

Our other friends decided not to come along, but my spouse and I did. So the three of us got naked and got in the hot tub.

While we were bathing, I happened to mention how my spouse and I have an open/swinging relationship. She asked us what that was like. So we told her. I also mentioned that, if she wanted to, we were both interested in her.

That was my first ever hot-tub three-way. Although, to be fair, most of the three-way occurred after we got out of the hot-tub to dry off.

So there you have it - my most porn-like real-life evening.

Judging from that other thread last month your life is one big porno.

I don't have any stories. Came kinda close to doing it once, the girl was throwing herself at me all night after a long history of sexual tension. Of course she was also pretty wasted by the end of the night so I told her no. The entire situation was just generally super awkward and whenever she brought it up after that night I would immediately change the subject.

At the time it was a harder thing to do than my dick would be later that night by the pale blue light of my computer monitor. But I know I did the right thing.

 

[brunothepig]

Spoiler: snip

I have a good story:

So, my girlfriend and I had planted a lemon tree together a couple of years ago in our back garden, as a sort-of romantic thing.
One morning, we came outside to find that our endeavour had come to fruition (literally, heh.) and it was full of beautiful ripe lemons. We did what any couple would do in this situation and sat holding each other, lovingly fantasizing about all of the possible things we could do with these lemons.

Sadly, with our heads in the clouds with delight, we had averted our gaze from the tree long enough for a cunning whore to sneak in, steal some lemons, and stuff them into her translucent whore-leotard.
Looking back at the tree, my girlfriend and I were devastated. There was only one possible thing we could do to bring this crafty lemon-whore to justice. I had to have angry sex with her to teach her a lesson.

Spoiler: This was an actual plot to a porn movie. Here is the intro:

I know this looks like a parody, but it's a real thing - I've seen it. Just google "lemon stealing whore".

Spoiler

despite the punishment, she gets away with a lemon in the end.

[small]Well, this was one hell of a first post.[/small]

Oh come on! How did I get ninja'd on that? Good job.
Alright, so on topic, there was this time I had two jobs, I was a pizza delivery boy and pool cleaner (a true reflection on the job market at the time huh?) and I went to this woman's house whose husband was away on business to "deliver this sausage" and "check [her] pH balance" and then I had sex with her.

Spoiler

I didn't really.

Spoiler

If you're wondering why this sounds familiar, it's from American Dad.

 

[Archroy]

Me and a married woman in her living room.
Husband upstairs. I later found out he was listening.

 

[Psychedelic Spartan]

I have a good story:

So, my girlfriend and I had planted a lemon tree together a couple of years ago in our back garden, as a sort-of romantic thing.
One morning, we came outside to find that our endeavour had come to fruition (literally, heh.) and it was full of beautiful ripe lemons. We did what any couple would do in this situation and sat holding each other, lovingly fantasizing about all of the possible things we could do with these lemons.

Sadly, with our heads in the clouds with delight, we had averted our gaze from the tree long enough for a cunning whore to sneak in, steal some lemons, and stuff them into her translucent whore-leotard.
Looking back at the tree, my girlfriend and I were devastated. There was only one possible thing we could do to bring this crafty lemon-whore to justice. I had to have angry sex with her to teach her a lesson.

Spoiler: This was an actual plot to a porn movie. Here is the intro:

I know this looks like a parody, but it's a real thing - I've seen it. Just google "lemon stealing whore".

Spoiler

despite the punishment, she gets away with a lemon in the end.

[small]Well, this was one hell of a first post.[/small]

First: that was potentially the funniest post I've ever seen.
Second: Ooh a new guy! If you need a thread derailed get Daystar Clarion. You'll find his services quite valuable. I'm Bigdick Gigglefist metsplayer1, nice to have you here.