Well, first thing - most of the current games aren't even remotely realistic, even in the most loose sense. If you found Battlestation Pacific 'realistic', then please don't try Arma II or Operation Flashpoint. And don't play military-style Airsoft. You'll know what I mean
That said, different games are for different tastes. I for example, like to switch between various forms of realism. I LOVED the Enemy Engaged helicopters simulations, where it took me 3 months to learn to land on ships (and EE wasn't the most hardcore thing). But I also loved Comanche 4, which is completelly arcade.
I also love Quake III Arena with all the crazy jumps and rocket launchers. On the other hand I was mad at Crysis W for being ridiculously easy on Delta difficulty, as I was after a more hardcore experience.
So you just need to pick games that suit your tastes, and 'realism' is just one of the aspects. Actually I think that what you refer to as realism, is commonly called difficulty.
But whatever. Nowadays, most games fall in the middle ground anyway - not too easy, but enough so anyone can finish them, and with concepts that throw realism out of the window.