Really Stupid Things You've Heard/Read Someone Say

[Ziggy]

someone once told me santa claus was middle eastern. he based this on the fact that the guy hung out with jesus.

Funny story. During December in school we were once told a story santa claus giving presents to Jesus, or something, it was a long time ago

 

[PBMcNair]

"The M-16 can only fire 3 round bursts"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M16_rifle#M16A2

After Vietnam, they updated the M16. One of the modifications was to replace full-auto with a 3-round burst, to prevent "spray and pray".

Edit: Read through all the article, and the A3 has full-auto, and the A4 can be purchased with either full-auto or burst.

 

[smartalec]

From a drama rehearsal...

Director: "What are you doing?"
Actor: "I'm being Atilla the Hun."
D: "You're being Frankenstein's Monster. Don't you know who Atilla the Hun is?"
A: "Some sort of vampire."
D: "Oh-kay. Do you know any evil barbarians from history?"
A: "... Gandhi?"
Everyone: "GANDHI?!"
A: "Oh wait, he's not real..."

The actor's rationale for believing Gandhi was a fictional character was that it was the name of a movie.

 

[TheRightToArmBears]

The majority of arguments for religion taught at GCSE RE lessons and Philosophy & Ethics A Level (I didn't take the latter, my friend did). I don't hate religion, but some of the arguments are just painfully dumb. For example, Thomas Aquinas' brilliant 'Everything needs a cause so god must have been there to cause the first thing and god doesn't need a cause because we said'.

 

[venom_steve]

A couple from my roommate.

1St "I got the 64 GB iPhone because I thought siri would work better"

2ND "Were dinosaurs real or just a myth"

I'm scared to live under the same roof as this person.

 

[Benni88]

On this very site I read a comment that said "If I insulted The Queen in London every bobby in a 20 mile radius would come after me".

Let's test that out. Fuck the Queen of England

Come at me, bros.

Pah you fool! You insult great and glorious leader Elizabeth? Off to the death ca- I mean happy camps with you!.

I'll say it too and I'm English, Fuck the Queen! Got nothing against her per say but the whole monarchy thing can eat a dick.

 

[Canadamus Prime]

*incredibly whiny voice*
"But I want my Internet nooooooow!"

God damn, I hated working in Internet tech support.

 

[TwiZtah]

At my high school there was this one girl when I brought dinosaurs in a conversation she butted it and said:

"Dinosaur bones aren't real! They're just tricks the Devil put in the ground to steer the faithful away from the truth of Christianity!"

I shit you not, this crazy ***** was serious. Well this is what I get for living Texas.

Yep, that's my insanely backwards home state for you.

Yeah I know I was born here its really amazing some of the crazy the stuff I hear.

I was in Texas last year, and I was thrown out of 2 diners and refused service from an entire town we were passing through becasue my friend had a bumper sticker that said

"My version: Millions of years of a complex process that we can test and see.
Your version: MAGIC MAN DID IT! LALALA, I'M NOT LISTENING!!"

Really, people got upset because you insulted them? Imagine that. I'm an atheist and I support freedom of speech but that doesn't mean people have to like it when you insult their beliefs.

I think it's more about that most conservative religious (idiots) can't take a joke for shit.

A friend of mine was gazing at the nightsky, and then she said "how many corners does a star have?" Laughter.

Or maybe they're tired of people who think they're better than them openly insulting beliefs that they find very important. Two people pulling in from out of town into a place where religion is going to be a big deal? It's gonna look like they had the sticker with the express intention of insulting people.

On the other hand, there is a trend where it's okay to insult atheists for how they live. Because atheists are a majority right? when 1.4 billion people are christian?

 

[Nerexor]

I once heard some high school kid on the bus claim he was so drunk the previous night that he had 180% blood alcohol level. He was very obviously serious and proud of this "fact" despite that this would require him to have more alcohol in his ciruclatory system than blood.

That bus ride was a gold mine for moments like this, moron high school students talking shit while the university students on the bus snickered at their idiocy.

Also, your fact for the day: having higher than 0.5% blood alcohol level will kill you.

 

[TwiZtah]

At my high school there was this one girl when I brought dinosaurs in a conversation she butted it and said:

"Dinosaur bones aren't real! They're just tricks the Devil put in the ground to steer the faithful away from the truth of Christianity!"

I shit you not, this crazy ***** was serious. Well this is what I get for living Texas.

Yep, that's my insanely backwards home state for you.

Yeah I know I was born here its really amazing some of the crazy the stuff I hear.

I was in Texas last year, and I was thrown out of 2 diners and refused service from an entire town we were passing through becasue my friend had a bumper sticker that said

"My version: Millions of years of a complex process that we can test and see.
Your version: MAGIC MAN DID IT! LALALA, I'M NOT LISTENING!!"

Really, people got upset because you insulted them? Imagine that. I'm an atheist and I support freedom of speech but that doesn't mean people have to like it when you insult their beliefs.

I think it's more about that most conservative religious (idiots) can't take a joke for shit.

A friend of mine was gazing at the nightsky, and then she said "how many corners does a star have?" Laughter.

Or maybe they're tired of people who think they're better than them openly insulting beliefs that they find very important. Two people pulling in from out of town into a place where religion is going to be a big deal? It's gonna look like they had the sticker with the express intention of insulting people.

On the other hand, there is a trend where it's okay to insult atheists for how they live. Because atheists are a majority right? when 1.4 billion people are christian?

And how do you know those people support insulting people for their beliefs? You assume because of their religion? Then it becomes ok to pre-emptively insult them? Is it ok to insult all religious people because some of them insult atheists?

Neither does every atheist think it's okay to insult religious people. However, they should be able to take a joke, because everyone should be able to joke about everything.

 

[Darren716]

"The M-16 can only fire 3 round bursts"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M16_rifle#M16A2

After Vietnam, they updated the M16. One of the modifications was to replace full-auto with a 3-round burst, to prevent "spray and pray".

Edit: Read through all the article, and the A3 has full-auto, and the A4 can be purchased with either full-auto or burst.

I was just using the M-16 as an example to how people I know will believe anything about a weapon if it's in CoD. A better example I should of used is the Famas where I heard people actually criticized Treyarc for making the gun fully automatic in Black Ops because they thought the gun is only a three round burst weapon due to how it was portrayed in MW2.

 

[Kordie]

"The M-16 can only fire 3 round bursts"

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/M16_rifle#M16A2

After Vietnam, they updated the M16. One of the modifications was to replace full-auto with a 3-round burst, to prevent "spray and pray".

Edit: Read through all the article, and the A3 has full-auto, and the A4 can be purchased with either full-auto or burst.

I was just using the M-16 as an example to how people I know will believe anything about a weapon if it's in CoD. A better example I should of used is the Famas where I heard people actually criticized Treyarc for making the gun fully automatic in Black Ops because they thought the gun is only a three round burst weapon due to how it was portrayed in MW2.

To be fair weapon manufacturers do try hard to make sure their weapons are balanced with other countries. /sarcasm. I like to call those people console commandos.

 

[samaugsch]

OT: Let's see...I won't post the highschool newspaper article that I've posted twice already. People have seen it, know about it, so let's move on.

I haven't seen it. I wanna see it! D:

"80GB iPod? Wouldn't that get really heavy if you stored that many songs on it?"

I literally just had an intense physical reaction to how retarded that is. Please tell me you're fictionalizing for something to post. There can't be people like that that aren't filed under some mental condition.

Okay Binnysboy. Just for you. Here it is for a third time.

Spoiler: College really isn't necessary

I've heard somewhere that later after she wrote this, she said that she doesn't really believe it, they just really needed an article for the paper but...I don't believe her.

-_-

Can I set her on fire? I think it would be a good idea for me to set her on fire.

Unfortunately I believe setting someone on fire for idiocy is a felony. I think the only thing we can legally do is pray very, very hard to whatever deity is out that there that this girl is never, ever given the chance to breed and that she never, ever gets married so that she has to work for every crust of bread she eats.

Send her to Saudi Arabia. It'll be hilarious.

 

[Your once and future Fanboy]

I have two quotes, but one needs a little backstory:
A couple of months before Dio's death a guy I knew was going to buy tickets for the Heaven and Hell tour when they came to Norway, but the news of his stomach cancer had reached the web. So another friend of mine told him that they would probably cancel and that it would be a bad idea to order tickets. His responce was "Dio only have stomach cancer, that doesn't mean he can't sing"... about a week before the original concert date Dio died.

The other one isn't as sad; but I say, prepare yourself for the stupidity!
the quote: "Your gay if you have anal sex with a woman"

 

[samaugsch]

Most stupid thing ive ever read, the entire mass effect 3 ending thing and the fact that people who hated it said "its ruined the entire series for me"...this just blows my damn mind! how the hell can it possibly do that?! i mean i cant see it cuz i loved the ending but come on its just...it does not make sense!

I guess because it makes them feel that the previous two games were a waste of time, considering that in their perspective, it ultimately leads to squat. At this point, it seems like we're beating a dead horse though. :/

 

[gNetkamiko]

What, what, what!?! No one has stated the famous "Is it chicken or is it tuna?" line?

I hinted at it in a previous post.

 

[gNetkamiko]

What, what, what!?! No one has stated the famous "Is it chicken or is it tuna?" line?

I hinted at it in a previous post on this thread. My apologies for not actually typing it down.

*edit*

damnit, someone please delete either this post or the previous one. For some reason, the first one didn't register in time. DX