A drinking thread! Now we're in my part of town! A few words before we start: Drink responsibly, pace yourself, know your limits, don't drink just to get drunk, yadda yadda yadda.
Now that that's done, let's get down to brass tacks:
When it comes to beer, the best ones are usually the microbrews. I don't know which part of the country you're in or what the local breweries are like, but there's a good chance that a thriving craft beer scene exists all around you and you might not even know it. If you're feeling up to dealing with the crowds, go to the next beer festival in your area and avail yourself to what's there. Or just cruise around your area watering holes, preferably local restaurants as opposed to big and ask about what's available. My personal favorite is the Apocalypse IPA from 10 Barrel Brewing, which you should be able to find somewhere if you're in the Pacific Northwest. Beg, borrow, steal, kill...do whatever you have to do, just get thy hands on it!
As far as national beers go, Samuel Adams is probably the best of the bunch; their flagship Boston Lager is tough to beat and they also have a nice variety of seasonal beers in rotation at any given time. Stella Artois and St. Pauli Girl are also safe bets. Heineken, while not top-tier stuff, is a drinkable beer in its own right and only slightly less ubiquitous than Budweiser or Coors, so don't be afraid to adopt it as your "Hail Mary pass" brand. If it's pure, from-the-can swill you want or are stuck with, Pabst Blue Ribbon is the way to go. If you must drink Bud or Coors, check to make sure you're not going to be drinking the light versions thereof before you bite the bullet. Oh, and Rolling Rock is glorified piss water that might as well be sold to teenagers. Recommended for would-be beer drinkers who can't take beer and no one else. Leave it on the shelf.
Now to discuss liquors. First off, you do NOT want to trifle with them. Even a comparatively weak liquor will still have at least two or three times the ABV of even the strongest beer you know, so pounding them like brewskis is akin to playing Russian roulette. Even veteran drinkers would do wise to tread carefully in Liquorville. Another thing to be wary of is cost. It's not that drinkable brands or varieties that won't make your wallet cry uncle don't exist -- Black Velvet is one; Southern Comfort is another, though it's not to everyone's taste -- but the better ones also tend to be the more expensive ones. Not helping is that a) liquors tend to be sold in smaller quantities and for higher prices than beer and b) ordering anything involving them in a restaurant is a good way to send your bill into the ionosphere, even if you stick to the well drinks. If money's at a premium, stick to beer.
My first choice of poison with liquor is whiskey. Take a glass, add three ice cubes, fill it to the rim and you're set. Brand-wise, Black Velvet always gets the job done, but if given the choice I'd go for Maker's Mark or Crown Royal in a heartbeat. JD's always an option, but it's not a personal favorite. Moving beyond whiskey, we have...a shit-ton of other things. If you're looking to jump onto the brandy train, start with Hennessy. Jagermeister's nice, but its taste is best described as "NyQuil without the cold medicine," so it might not be for you. Vodka is meant to not have a taste on its own, so treat it as a cocktail component first and a stand-alone drink second while your palate for it develops. Tequila's better in mixed drinks than by itself, but to its credit, it does have subtle undercurrents of flavor that'll reveal themselves if you drink it slowly. I'm not the biggest fan of rum or gin solo, but both are critical components of some boffo mixed drinks, so I'll not slander their names.
And we can't talk about liquor without talking about cocktails. My favorite cocktail would have to be the Long Island Iced Tea, but it'll still take a nation of millions to keep me away from a margarita, a Brandy Alexander or a martini. Any place where you can get a good version of any one of those is to be treasured and any bartender who can do all four well is a god among men. If you're ever in doubt of someone's ability as a drink maker or you don't want to risk springing something tricky on them, you can always order something simple like a rum and coke. Get yourself a copy of a bartender's guide, leaf through it and see what strikes your fancy. Do some experimentation on your own as well.
That leaves wine. I'm not really a wine person, so I'll pass the baton to someone else better educated on the subject than me.
I hope all of that covers at least the bare basics. There's a lot I'm leaving undiscussed, but this is a primer, not an advanced thesis.
