Rejection... how do you deal with it?

[Floppertje]

I handle rejection by saying either: 'meh, fuck it. Didn't care that much anyway' when it's a girl I met once and liked, or: 'hmm. I guess she wasn't as great as I thought. If she was, she wouldn't have turned me down.'
works most of the time ^^

 

[Wackymon]

no, no it is not unusual to feel that way, I think.

as for how I would deal with it;
I would most likly cry for a while, then watch doctor who to make myself feel better.
I need a life, unlike you.

 

[2012 Wont Happen]

This can be told best in the form of greentext.

[color="{green}"]
>Read Fight Club to a driver overnight while on a car ride to surprise somebody you love
>She lives a few hundred miles away.
>Have to bum your way back on no sleep because credit card is lost
>Cements your desperation and cementing all your experiences in your mind.
>Get back home, immediately have to go to play a show, get back to your house late.
>Get on Facebook to see she has left you for another guy
>She didn't even tell you, she just changed her relationship status.
>Feel strangely satisfied.
>Never feel rejection again.
[/color]

You don't have to go through those exact steps, but you get the general gist. Reading Fight Club in a circumstance where it will get drilled into your head is a good idea though.


-edit
Sorry about how bad this post looks with that bright green color. Greentext story format is pretty much the only way I discuss emotion on public forums these days though.

 

[GamerKT]

Swallow sadness...

LIKE A BOSS.

 

[Angus565]

Well your number one issue is the obsessing part. Don't obsess bro, girls notice that kind of thing. Don't think of the girl you go out on a date with as "The next love of my life"
Think of her as a women you find attractive, and wish to get to know better.
Best of luck man.

 

[PeePantz]

Sooo. Is this the usual emotional response? Am I crazy? Is there any way to be less sensitive about these things? I really would like to be.

I know a lot of people are quoting you with responses saying things like, "it gets easier, etc.", but I'm not sure if it does.

However, I can tell you that you're not crazy, and I feel your response is normal, or at least not unhealthy. I think I'm well adjusted and I react similarly to rejection.

I do well in the lady department and haven't experienced much rejection. When I do though, it hurts a lot. I'm very open and tend to care about women who I've shown interest in (why else would I want to date them?). This leads to me being unguarded and when rejection happens, it can hurt like hell.

My advice is to continue what you're doing. Don't get jaded and feel numb to rejection. If that happens, you'll lose the joy of something new and exciting. You can't have the yin without the yang.

 

[Duskwaith]

Your focusing on the wrong bit. Okay maybe they are generally busy or they rejected you but the important thing is that you tried it.

You took the shot and it missed, big deal thats life but the fact you even had the balls to get out and do go get a girl which isnt easy.

 

[spartan231490]

Sooo. Is this the usual emotional response? Am I crazy? Is there any way to be less sensitive about these things?

No. Not yet. Yes, get heartbroken a few more time.

While you are more sensitive to the subject than most, the only difference between you and every other lad is that we got jaded about a decade earlier.

It's kinda depressing how accurate this is. It's even more depressing that there are also several very good reasons in this world to be jaded and cynical even at the age of 20-25.

Yeah, I wouldn't worry about it too much, you take it harder than most, but better than some people I've met. After all, you haven't started stalking anyone yet.

 

[spartandude]

It's been a long time since I had to deal with rejection. My solution used to be "go back to the girl you know wants to be with you" but that was in a very specific time and place. My suggestion to you is to not get hung up on this one girl, to keep an iPod around in case you need some distraction on the train home, and to keep looking for nice girls.

this



also when im feeling down about anything and i have the house to myself i take a really long hot bath while very badly singing along to a bunch of 80s music.... laugh at me all you want, it cheers me up

 

[ImBigBob]

I can relate to the TC's problems. Girls reject me, and I honestly have not even the slightest clue why. I wasn't overbearing, I wasn't overly eager to please or nice, and I was plenty smart and funny. Yet I have yet to find a girl that actually cares. Either I'm doing something wrong that nobody is willing to tell me, or 95% of girls in the world are complete idiots.

 

[zelda2fanboy]

Can I ask, hopefully without coming across like Lord Dickington, were you upset that they rejected you because you really liked them both or was it because it re-affirmed a view you have on yourself (that you'll never find anyone etc.)?

Winner of thread. After I've had a little time and perspective, I do believe you've found the explanation. It's not like I LOVED either of these women. If anything, I should have been more broken up over the first because I knew her better, had more in common, and did more "things of a sexual nature" with her. But the second one sent me off the deep end by mere fact that she was "the second one" or more specifically "the second one after three or four months." Therefore, I found myself with the perennial classic mental chorus of "unlovable piece of shit who will never be with anyone ever." It's one thing to be 0 for 1, but being 0 for 2 was a different feeling altogether. I really don't think I should look as this as a numbers game like many on the thread have suggested because that would probably make me feel worse.

But I'm fine now though. She still seems interested, since I had the good sense not to convey any of this to her. Also, the video game I was playing was Duke Nukem Forever. Sitting on the couch failing to kill a three boobed alien with a rocket launcher because girls don't like you is about the worst feeling imaginable.

 

[archvile93]

I just don't even bother to look for a girlfriend. Can't be rejected if you don't put your self in that posistion. The closest I've ever come is when one girl in highschool randomly gave me her number and walked away. I never called. I figured it would either not lead to anything, or it was some kind of cruel joke on me. Either way, it wasn't worth the effort. But it sounds like you're going to try again, so um, just accept it and realize you had to try and get hurt before you find someone, I guess.

 

[mrm5561]

umm well beer is always a good way to get over rejection. also just call the girls, other wise you kinda come off either weird or scared. i know i hate talking on the phone for more than five minutes but sometimes you just gotta do it to show the girl your interested

Yeah I hate that part... but that's one thing most of us had to learn by ourselves, followed by the fact that you're always wrong and it's always your fault.

also you should always know why shes mad and that her logic always makes perfict sence... still working on that one

 

[Hitokiri_Gensai]

I deal with rejection with an Ed Brown Kobra Carry 1911 in .45ACP and an Colt AR15 Match Target MT7600 chambered in 5.56/.223 and a couple steel targets. A nice PING! helps me sort out anger and rejection.

 

[JoesshittyOs]

I tend to be pretty sure about the answer before hand when I ask someone out, so I really haven't dealt with rejection since the 8th grade.

So... yeah. Gain their friendship before you want them to engage in an intimate relationship with you. If you become friends, you got a good shot at getting closer to them.

Then the only rejection you have to worry about is getting dumped.

And, judging by what I read, you sound a little bit clingy. The cliche of the "guy who doesn't care" is actually true in some aspects of dating. Don't be so forward.