I just want to say thanks for everyone who is taking this seriously, it means a lot. Sometimes I just get caught up in this "despair". When I'm at school though, I never act this way. It's kinda "bipolar" (for a lack of better words) really.
Relationships and life.
- Thread starter Brimtastic
- Start date
Probably the best solution, but you best hope it doesn't hurt when you pee the following morning.Aardvark said:
I will start off by saying I never thought it was, that post was directed towards Acrisius, whom I quoted.Brimtastic said:
As for the second part, that depends on how good friends you are. Conversely, I know many people who aren't awake at night thinking about their significant others or feel like the world just died when their SO leaves them. It's dependent on how close you are, not what manner of relationship you have. However, if you're really close friends, you will usually end up being romantically involved with eachother. And if you're romantically involved with eachother, you'll usually end up being really close friends. It works both ways.
Name one thing you can do with your signficant other that you can't do with your best pal that's not physical.
Just to speak from personal experience: My girlfriend was definitely not always interested in me. Back when we were sort of part of the same friend group in high school but didn't know each other, I told her through email that I really liked her, we should date sometime, etc. She rejected me. "Well damn", I thought, and I was pretty heartbroken. A couple of months later, we were still in the same friend group, but we started to actually hang out more together. We actually became real, honest-to-God friends. And we were for a while, we hung out together as friends, and with other friends as friends, and it was pretty fantastic. Eventually, we became closer, really good friends, and there was drama and excitement and all the stuff that happens in high school, I went through some rough times and she was there for me, etc etc, and eventually, through just being really good friends and realizing how perfect we were for each other, we started to date. That will have been three years ago in January.
Always being "the friend" sucks, but her and I have outlasted many other relationships simply because we have always enjoyed hanging out together, and eventually it just became natural to do that while kissing as well. So being a friend isn't always so bad.
Always being "the friend" sucks, but her and I have outlasted many other relationships simply because we have always enjoyed hanging out together, and eventually it just became natural to do that while kissing as well. So being a friend isn't always so bad.
See, I never understood the whole "standards" argument. I don't go around looking for the hottest chick and start hitting on them. In fact, its much more "random" then that. A "switch" kinda clicks in my head and I just start finding that specific girl I've been talking to for a while extremely interesting and I want to know more about them and eventually date them.orangebandguy said:
I don't know about you guys but I can't just find some girl and think, "well I guess I will go out with an ugly girl because I can't be with the girl I WANT to be with".
Well I don't really recommend this... but I know that if you meet someone online and really get to like them before actually seeing each other, it can turn out well. Of course looking for someone online is not recommended: it rarely ends well. But if you get lucky, you just might find someone who will get to know you and love you before looks can get in the way. Maybe.
Making so much effort to "be nice" doesn't work for so many reasons that I don't even need to explain that, but here's a thought that's much easier and isn't faking sincerity: What if you were to stop all that bullshit for a second and just be yourself? Did you ever try that?
Holy crap, that shows desperation. Ironically, that attitude is less likely to get you laid just because it shows some really unattractive qualities. Also fun fact, confidence is WAY more important than looks, for guys at least.orangebandguy said:
It wouldn't be a problem if he had the bouncy trampoline...AkJay said:[http://img685.imageshack.us/i/3231572315b943c8049co.png/] [http://g.imageshack.us/img685/3231572315b943c8049co.png/1/]
unfortunately I don't think "being myself" is good enough. I guess my years of experience can back me up on this one.President Moocow said:
I am fat/ungly and relucsive yet somehow managed to get a GF, why? because I live and let live and semi happy go lucky and thoroughly pessimistic about life love and money, frist you have to put up withyouerselfs to know yourself so you can be youerself so others can put up with you.....only then will you will be showered with love...or rotten tomatoes...well....least I have enough funky tomato juice to deal with being hit by skunks.....Brimtastic said:
Then I apologize, that wasn't my intention.Acrisius said:Your comment actually hurt my feelings!
That reasoning, in various shapes and forms, just always turns up in this type of discussion.
"I'm nice towards her, why does she still have pants? *****."
I'm not saying that's how you reason, because after your explanation it's rather clear that you don't. Still, your initial comment implied it, and sadly it seems to be a fairly common viewpoint.
Well I can certainly say that you're better off being true to yourself than faking sincerity and going out of your way to be someone you're not.Brimtastic said:
"being yourself", besides one of the most cliched advice points is also a bit misrepresented. It doesn't mean stay exactly the way you are; it means look at yourself, think about your qualities, what makes you happy, what other people like about you, what others don't like. Make your good qualities shine and tone down the bad ones.
If you're a straight-minded organized person, do activities that involve strategical thinking. If you prefer adrenaline rush, hang out with people who love crazy activities. If you like high-energy places, go to a rave. If you prefer more chill places, go to a coffee shop with some friends.
Another thing that goes with "being yourself" is "be open-minded". Try new stuff, hang out with people instead of playing games. Know that appearance doesn't matter. I know a guy who is the first to admit he's overweight, but he's a ridiculous player just because he's one of the most social people I know.
Alright, thank you everybody. I think I got what I needed from all of this. I just needed to tell somebody, anybody about this stuff. I guess when I see some of my friends having girlfriends, I feel left out. I'm not the most patient guy either.
